How fucking hard is it to turn on a FUCKING DRYER! (871 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.5 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Beer_bong (View user info) at 2006-02-10 09:19:36 EST
I mean fucking A, is it that hard of a concept? You turn the knob, push the button, and off it goes! THIS IS FIRST DAY SHIT PEOPLE!
Thanks to a fucked up throat infection I haven't been able to talk for a couple of days. I left a note on all my roomates doors stating simply "I have to do laundry in the morning. Please don't leave wet clothes in the washer or dryer. Thanks, fuckers. Paul" Very simple. They had all fucking week to do laundry. And I know they did it because we ran out of laundry detergent! I had to go buy some last fucking night. I looked, and felt, like death warmed over.
Now I have to wait for that cunt Rosemary's fucking shit to finish. THE BITCH DIDN'T CLOSE THE LID ON THE WASHING MACHINE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HER DIRTY UNDERWEAR MARINATED OVER NIGHT! On top of that, THERE ARE WET FUCKING TOWELS IN THE DRYER!! AAARRGGG!!!!! And and and and and AND I have to go clean out my fucking office today before I go in to my new fucking job. Don't eat at TGIFridays any time soon. HAve you seen "Waiting"? Well, we aren't that bad, but thanks to that movie we're getting there. I'm determined to get someone with "The Goat."
I am SO fucking glad I'm going to see some FMX tonight. I swear to god if someone doesn't face plant tonight you're all going to see me on the news tommorow morning.
I'M SURROUNDED BY ASSHOLES!!
On a lighter note, I saw Brokeback Mountain the other day. Just as I suspected, it was a horrible movie. Without the controversy of the pudding eating gay cowboys, this movie doesn't have a leg to stand on. Bad script, only decent acting and not at all worth my 20 bucks. Of course, the girl loved it. Cunt.
Over the last 3 days, my orange juice budget has gone up 212%. Fuck I'm bored.
User Reviews
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-02-15 02:08:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I subsist partially on grapefruit juice. Jam packed with vitamin C, plus its not orange.
My fat Mexican roommate leaves his shit EVERYWHERE, but at least he empties out the dryer.
I think he broke the toaster oven. Now I can't make bagels or egg rolls.
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2006-02-15 01:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LLLoooooooooooooooooove you.
;)
Submitted by damage.com (user info) at 2006-02-10 21:03:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I sympathize. I've lived in quite a few housemate situations, and all it takes is one careless person to back everyone else up, like some kind of traffic jam.
I once ended up doing one woman's laundry for her occasionally. Why? Because if she didn't have clean clothes, she'd come in to my room at 6 am and ask to borrow mine.
Another time a housemate threw my wet clothes on the floor. When I asked him why, he said "Uh...I thought they were Lisa's."
Lisa was his girlfriend, and she yelled, "So why were you gonna throw MY laundry on the floor?!"
And that, boys and girls, is when you leave the house for a nice long walk.
And how he confused my jeans and t-shirts for her skirts and sweaters I have no idea.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-02-10 19:28:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Keep firing, ASSHOLES!"
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-10 17:50:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you know what works great in the dryer?
a 12-pack of beer bottles, try it sometime!
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2006-02-10 12:26:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Now I have to wait for that cunt Rosemary's fucking shit to finish."
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I don't know why, but that line made me laugh out loud. Laughing gets +2's.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-02-10 11:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-10 10:29:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
I highly recommend NOT calling people "fuckers" if you are trying to goad them into doing you a favor.
I debated calling them "Cocksuckers", but I decided that "Fuckers" was less offensive. Even though I'm the only person in this house who has never actually sucked a penis.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-02-10 10:55:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn... and here I thought the most difficult thing in the world was getting a man to load AND THEN UNLOAD the dishwasher.
Sympathy +2 because the people you live with are more worthless than the ones I am stuck with.
Submitted by Aztune (user info) at 2006-02-10 10:41:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for the perfectly justified rant.
+1 for not touching the marinating underwear.
Nothing like skanky underwear floating in dirty detergent water overnight and the water got cold.
-1 for not kicking your roommates asses for being morons.
You should post back with the results of your bitching at them.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-10 10:29:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I highly recommend NOT calling people "fuckers" if you are trying to goad them into doing you a favor.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-02-10 10:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got into this rant...
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-10 10:19:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bwhahahahahah for the picture. I can totally see W saying that too, with a defiant "yee-haw" at the end. Fucking Rox00r!
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-02-10 10:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That would be the state of Washington. The same one that is closing about 100 public schools over the next 7 years because we can't balance a fucking budget. Shows you exactly where our priorities are, though.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-10 09:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what state is that BB?
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-02-10 09:41:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-10 09:36:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Just throw their shit on the floor.
I would but I have to live with these people. I'd rather bitch them out tonight, so it at leat seems like I have the moral high ground.
How in the fuck is this state so stupid. I just heard that medicaid payed for a sex change, multiple breast enhancements, and even fucking ear piercings last year. How the fuck does that happen?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-10 09:36:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just throw their shit on the floor.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-10 09:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"One for the lady down at the laundrymat, who goes threw my dryer pulling one sock out
She goes threw my dryer pulling one sock out"
"That is his name, sir. Asshole, Major Asshole."
"And his cousin?"
"He's an Asshole, too, sir. Gunner's-mate, 1st Class, Philip Asshole."
"How many Assholes we got on this ship, anyhow?"
"Yo!"
"I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes. Keep firing, Assholes. "
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-02-10 09:23:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh eat shit, leilani. Do it naked. And take lots of pictures. Please?
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-02-10 09:23:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-10 09:20:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
call the waaaaahmbulance
sympathy +2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-10 09:20:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
call the waaaaahmbulance
sympathy +2