Phone Sex Operator (1638 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: -0.93 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ladee jade <jade_digitalmedia.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-02-10 14:00:22 EST
No this is not my job title; make a note, a big one.
Because apparently 5% of the calls I take a day feel as though they have dialed a 1 900 number instead of my extension.
A brief synopsis of the past days work
I am getting a cold or I swallowed that toad I tried to lick last night, so now my voice sounds like a cancer stick woman, Demi Moore or a throaty phone sex operator.
I am quite nice and chatty at work while speaking to clients on the phone. I try to stay calm when getting berated by a belligerent asshole client or take pity on the sick guy in Wisconsin, because, well fuck, it must really suck to live in Wisconsin where its like negative infinite and have a cold, where your snot rockets become ice spears upon explosion from one's nasal passage, and belligerent assholes stop being pricks when you sound like you're going to cry on the phone.
NOTE: this trick works every time, throw in a sniffle and a whimper and the silly fuck is putty.
However, there is this special breed of mantard that for some reason decides when calling a friendly girl that they can push it to the limit.
THEY ARE FUCKING WITH THE WRONG NICE GIRL
Because really..... Deep down..... I'm not very nice ;o)
Anyways, this guy has been very persistent about obtaining a photo of me. I just shrugged it off as whatever you're a manwhore and need some new "playtime" material. Today he decided to take it ten steps further... I will not go into detail but he pushed the nice girl on the swing way to high and she decides to jump off and ninja spin kick him to the balls.
A multitude of foul words come fourth from my mouth... I felt like the exorcist girl drummed up on a few cans of rock star and given the challenge to list every damned word in the dictionary of
"FUCK! And other great words".
Needless to say I lost a client today, but really the cleansing of one's soul of all foul material that had been building up for the past couple months makes me feel like that giant sumo wrestler has finally gotten tired of his piggy back ride.
User Reviews
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:28:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
erosion~
yes, i know, i live there. orlando i mean, not the porn store. my roomate shivonna works at fairvilla, tuesdays is employee 2 for 1 rental night. i got my tube top signed by the hedgehog on his visit a few years ago.
Submitted by Iago (user info) at 2006-02-11 16:24:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lurk more, n00bzi11a!
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-02-11 16:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:52:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
More details:
Conversation 1:
Mantard: So what do you do after work?
Me: Oh ya know go out with the ladies on the weekends, during the week I have a night class and I'm addicted to Netflix.
Mantard: Is Netflix a porn store.
Me: Uh... I'm not sure if they carry those movies.
Mantard: You should rent some porn invite your girlfriends over and take pictures of yourselves.
Me: Not sure we're too into that.
In actuality Tuesday's is two for one at Fairvilla, of which myself and the ladies partake of.
===============================================
In Orlando, Fairvilla is a two story porn and sex toy store... Thought that was a funny coincidence after you getting hassled about porn.
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2006-02-10 16:17:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
scourge-
just a typed out mental dumping of a bothersome day.
double plus better next time ;o)
jade
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-10 16:03:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
ha ha that dog is licking YOUR taint
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-02-10 16:02:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I keep typing things here and then deleting them. They all dealt with my absolute disappointment in this post.
This was just kind of...nothing.
Try again later.
Maybe you'll get some better feedback. You have one up on a lot of folks around here in that you DO have the ability to string words together in a semi-coherent sentence. That's all.
Submitted by Astropath (user info) at 2006-02-10 15:28:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You should invite your girlfriends over. We'll make some porn, and take pictures of ourselves.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:56:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-2Die and Choke on my wood splinters.
Submitted by jade_digitalmedia (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:52:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
More details:
Conversation 1:
Mantard: So what do you do after work?
Me: Oh ya know go out with the ladies on the weekends, during the week I have a night class and I'm addicted to Netflix.
Mantard: Is Netflix a porn store.
Me: Uh... I'm not sure if they carry those movies.
Mantard: You should rent some porn invite your girlfriends over and take pictures of yourselves.
Me: Not sure we're too into that.
In actuality Tuesday's is two for one at Fairvilla, of which myself and the ladies partake of.
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
obligatory 1st post -2.
plus, it sucked a little.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So...are you going to get me that picture or not?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:24:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
only cuz the picture.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:18:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm rating based solely on the picture, I didn't read the post. It probably works in your favor this way, anyhow.
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You would think that a first post from someone who's been lurking around this site for so long would be at least the tiniest bit interesting.
please crawl back under your Uberock and -2DIE WHORE!!!
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:13:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Reading this made me want to slaughter an innocent. Unfortunately laziness will prevent me from taking the walk necessary to find one.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:08:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shit.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:07:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I will not go into detail but he pushed the nice girl on the swing way to high and she decides to jump off and ninja spin kick him to the balls.
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First off...that might be the stupidest analogy I've ever heard.
And secondly...see, the idea of telling a story is actually to go "into detail". Otherwise, nobody's going to fucking care.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2006-02-10 14:05:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Pointless. We're not here to listen to you complain, we're here to be entertained.