the rationale of a new york cop. (737 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.2 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by leilani (View user info) at 2006-02-13 10:30:09 EST
Fucking late. Night. Cold, too much cold night. It is four in the morning and we are torn from the womb of the dancing place sweating and grinding into the cold cold new york city street. Eyes open. There you are. Fucking bulletproof vest so so hard, but your hazel eyes are decidedly not. They open up and let me in and I swim down inside them and there I am, curled up.
Guns are out and cigarettes are lit. Now this is inspiration, now I remember what I used to live for. In the old old building I think I'm a DJ but I'm just a chick from the suburbs. Looking back at the pictures that place had some fascinating architecture, too bad i'll never find it again. An unmarked door. You are confusing me, you are bewitching me. Making me obsessed again. You give me a beer and show me your badge. Detective. New York's Finest. The Best In the World. I believe you. I'm melting I don't know what to think. The chemicals are catching up with me and I feel a bit guilty.
You are driving me crazy. I'm in a room full of your kind, I'm on your turf. I hit a guy, he drops his beer bottle. Sorry, I feel terrible. Party foul. No, you say it's okay. If you say so, it must be.
We sit on a plush velour bench, wow this place is swank. Old New York glamour, huh. Everyone seems to be disappearing. Where are we? Hold me a little longer. You think it's funny that I'm scared of all the guns. Well, I am. But when I look at you I just don't care so much.
Three days later and this is all I remember. I look down at the card. Tell me.... Do I dial the number?
User Reviews
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-03-09 03:27:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Was his number 911?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-03-09 03:11:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:36:12 (#)
Ranking: 1
Of all the men in NYC..you fell for one whose job it is to end your good time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OR he could enable her to have an even better time with less chance of repercussions. Knowing cops is a good thing. Dating them must be the best thing ever, man.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-13 23:48:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To protect, serve, and lay.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-13 16:02:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-13 15:34:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have leilani's camwhore...I'll sell it to the highest bidder
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-02-13 13:24:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:51:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I and all of my alters are boycotting your posts until we see a camwhore. That means 99% of Uberusers will not be clicking on your posts.
Please provide us with a camwhore immediately. If you've already camwhored, I apologize, and most humbly request that you point me in the direction of said spank material
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wish I could be Method's alter. I'll just have to settle for being his lord and savior.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-13 12:41:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
she seems "pretty" cool to me. i think. unless that was a trick the other day. if it was i'll...i'll...i'll do SOMETHING
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-13 12:40:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
leilani truly is teh devil. RRRRRAWRRRR
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-02-13 12:16:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
She also posted a fake camwhore that could be known as Ha Ha Ass.
Tricky white devil woman.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-13 12:15:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-13 12:03:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
HAR HAR retrospect. you have seen no such thing.
---
i know, you have the upperhand!
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-02-13 12:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2oof
(cracks me up)
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-02-13 12:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that lying bitch posted something saying it was a camwhore but tricked us all with that blasted HA HA RABBIT!
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-13 12:03:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
HAR HAR retrospect. you have seen no such thing.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:57:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i could have sworn that i've seen a leilani camwhore somewhere... where was that????
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:54:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no method i haven't.
and if you boycott all my posts you will never know if i camwhore and the suspense will KILL YOU
so there
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
camwhore??
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:51:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I and all of my alters are boycotting your posts until we see a camwhore. That means 99% of Uberusers will not be clicking on your posts.
Please provide us with a camwhore immediately. If you've already camwhored, I apologize, and most humbly request that you point me in the direction of said spank material
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:47:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
are you from new yawk? or jersay? '
i heard people from new yalk ah retahded. true?
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:38:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Boston
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:37:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha retrospect!! whatup dude. nope, not you.
where do you live anyway?
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:32:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
if the card contains MY phone number... then HELL YES CALL IT..
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-13 11:03:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
thanks GLALL!! I liked it too. let's be bestest friends :)
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:52:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Totally liked the contorted flow and abstractness. I also like stories that I forget by the time I start writing a comment for it. Shows that words, put together, say things! I also really like vagina and I heard you have one.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:46:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ozzy- gross. you are way off. but definitely a good idea to interpret hazy stories.
badass- this is mostly fictional/ish. it's embellished. nothing unsavory happened.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well if it isn't the leader of the weiner patrol, boning up on his nerd
lessons!
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:43:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Let me get this right. (and plus fucking 2 if this is what you meant)
You left a club in the early hours one morning, buzzing off your chops and ran into a copper. The love drugs made you find him irresistable, so you went back to his place to party a bit more.
He and his cop buddies had a bukkake session with you passed on the living room floor, and he wrote his phone number on your tits (his metaphorical card) with a felt pen.
Now you can't remember what happened, and you haven't showered for a week, so the phone number is still there, and you're thinking of calling it out of curiosity.
Come to think of it, I'd love to see a new trend on Uber. People could post a vague, hazy story, and each of our twisted minds could fill in the blanks.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:42:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked the disjointed format.
What does your husband think of this?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:40:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Weird and wild.
I was a cop once. But....I got fired for taking pot shots at the Latvian ambassador.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Of all the men in NYC..you fell for one whose job it is to end your good time.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:35:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i liked it a bit.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/77556 is also the rationale of a ny cop
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:34:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
is it really a porn name?
i guess it's convenient.... i could star in such films as "Leilani gets Lei'd"
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for your porn name, gets me all hot and bothered
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-13 10:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this is badly formatted and makes no sense except to me