happy fucking valentine's day (961 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.94 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by stardamage (View user info) at 2006-02-14 00:23:52 EST
It's weird how nausea sneaks up on you.
One minute you're at your desk, feeling extremely and yet somehow vaguely uncomfortable, as you've done for the past four hours since linguistics class. You're staring at nothing, really, just giving your eyes something to do while you focus on pretending that nothing's wrong. Maybe if you don't move a muscle, not even an eyelash, you'll be okay.
You breathe automatically, unaware of it except in halts and starts here and there: and suddenly your breath is getting a little more heavy. Heavy...heaving. You dimly feel your stomach churning and growling restlessly and you're at your feet without remembering how you got there, and the sudden movement makes your stomach roll sickeningly. You lean on your chair to fight the bloodrush, and as soon as it's gone your feet have only one command: Bathroom.
You keep a barely controlled pace as you stride very purposefully down the long hall to the bathroom; luckily, none of the other girls on your hall see you. You are completely calm but you notice the adrenaline running and making your hands tremble as you fumble with the stall lock.
Ah, the pleasures of vomiting in the middle of the day in a public bathroom.
Once in the bathroom you immediately kneel, your knees and legs somehow working without you as your hands lift the seat in a careful, coordinated fashion that amazes you while you're doing so many other things at the same time.
You might at first put your hands on the toilet seat and prop yourself up with trembling forearms and locked elbows, but you'll soon grow tired. For nausea of this kind is a frustrating waiting game, preferring to torture you for hours and hours and occasionally giving you false alarms. You know if you puke you'll feel better, though, so goddammit you're gonna wait this goddamn thing out.
A sixth of an hour later and you're still there, though you're resting on your legs as you kneel, and almost all of your weight is supported by the toilet since your head is resting on your arms which are crossed and slumped on the seat. You're exhausted even though you haven't really done anything, just sat on the floor. You're in a thin T-shirt and you're shivering a little, too. Your arms are cold on the porcelain.
Finally you decide that enough is enough, goddammit, and you're getting angry now. Two fever red spots paint themselves on your cheeks, a combination of your frustration and your physical weakness. You've stared glassily at the toilet bowl and memorized the way your spit looks in the water, okay.
Now it's time for some goddamn action.
You've made too many mistakes toothbrushing your tongue not to know that if you accidentally tickle the very back of your tongue, you'll throw up, or at least gag.
So you do and feel disgusted at both the action and the very thought. You're crying from distress and discomfort too, now, so if someone came in and saw you it might get messy.
Anyway. All the better reason to get it over with, dammit.
The first few come very close and your nausea spikes at each one. "Come on come on come on," you are heard to whisper, and you're sniffling into the toilet bowl. One more pretends to be a failure but suddenly it gets worse than you've ever imagined and you're feeling chunks of sour, bitter stuff traveling through your mouth and dropping out between your teeth into the water. Why the hell did I WANT to puke? you wonder, and cry some more.
Now you've got the kind of nausea that comes from being less than a foot from the contents of your own stomach to deal with as you wait a few seconds, breathing hard, still crying, shaking a little. Maybe you consider standing up. This is a mistake.
You estimate the amount of time there'll be before the next one, and you're answered with a bout of dry-heaving, which everyone agrees is worse, much worse. You wonder why you didn't drink anything...too late now.
All of a sudden after a few more minutes, you know that it's over and you feel inexplicably better, though all you want right now is to rinse your mouth, drink some water and go to bed.
Good luck sleeping, cause it'll all start again in about an hour.
-------
Well, this is how I'm spending my Valentine's day. Hope yours is better.
User Reviews
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-02-15 17:57:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Right there with you dude.
It's a good thing I don't put much stock in Valentines Day, because the weight of my own lonliness would surely crush me. :)
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2006-02-15 09:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, Caes. It actually turned out okay because I ended up going to class that afternoon (which sucked), but after my last (three-hour long) class one of my favorite smoking buddies who is in the class with me insisted on bringing me back to his room and smoking me up. I didn't complain. It made the nausea go away, too!
So it all ended okay, I guess, except for the being horrifyingly single on Valentine's Day part. :)
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-02-14 20:37:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Valentines Day, Stardamage.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-14 13:03:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haven't seen you around in a while...
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2006-02-14 11:16:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There is no chance that I'm pregnant, thank god.
But now my body has decided to add a delightful new act to the routine wherein whenever I stand up, no matter how carefully, I get dizzy and come very close to fainting! This adds a bit of excitement to the very purposeful walks down the hall to the bathroom, where standing up slowly isn't really an option.
Oh, the wonders of biology.
I fucking hate everyone and everything today.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-14 09:28:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
survey says: you're pregnant
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-14 08:31:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ick. Happy V-Day.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-02-14 07:38:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well captured.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-02-14 07:00:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-02-14 06:50:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel for you... I'm of sick from work today.
Hope I'm better by tonight when The Bloke gets here.. sexy red silky lingerie doesn't go with a green face
---------------
<ejaculates>
-Dave
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-02-14 06:50:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel for you... I'm of sick from work today.
Hope I'm better by tonight when The Bloke gets here.. sexy red silky lingerie doesn't go with a green face
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-14 06:34:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel sick now actually.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-02-14 06:23:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not what I was expecting, but good nontheless.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-02-14 05:16:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Well not nice but you know what I mean.
-Dave
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-02-14 04:55:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Me too.
Yay.
Submitted by crazyaardvark (user info) at 2006-02-14 03:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have Crohn's disease, which is a genetic bowel disease so my life is dotted with episodes of nausea, sometimes public ones. You have just described it perfectly.
I find listening to music helps sometimes. Takes your mind off it without needing to do anything proactive like open your eyes.
Good luck. Happy Valentine's Day
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-02-14 03:08:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
my girlfriend asked me what i got her for Valentine's day earlier. i told her i got her some flowers, and that i had already planted them out in the garden for her. she went outside and noticed a large section of flowers ripped out of our neighbor's yard, and tossed on top of our side of the lawn.
hey, what can i say, i love the cunt.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-02-14 02:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My V-day is going to suck too. I'm stuck working all night tonight and I've got to work tomorrow night too. What am I doing in between? Going to fucking school. Ahh yes, how romantic eh?
All that lovey dovey bullshit is overrated anyway.
Submitted by Demos74 (user info) at 2006-02-14 01:16:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
its funny cuz its true
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-02-14 01:03:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
meh, valentines day sucks anyways
Submitted by turkishblend (user info) at 2006-02-14 00:55:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-02-14 00:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's just that I've only seen this movie twice before, and I've seen
you every night for the last eleven ye -- aha. What I mean to say is:
We'll snuggle tomorrow, sweetie. I promise.
-- Homer Simpson
Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy
I hope it's just Ebola or something, and not offspring-induced illness. Unless you really want the offspring, in which case... Yeah. I'm retarded, you figure it out.