It's a Rule. You Have to Post Something Romantic on Valentine's Day (640 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.22 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rawrg (View user info) at 2006-02-14 18:57:44 EST
Alone again, I always seem to be single this time of year. Like Spring blossoms newfound love, Winter seems to bring the Axe to a lot of relationships. Maybe girls would stick around if I turned the heat up, I don't know. Still, even when I'm not single, I wonder what you're doing. It's amazing how I've felt like I've been filling an impossible hole for the last several years since I lost you. When I look at my life, it's no longer my life, it's my life sans you. I could probably count the days on one hand that you haven't crossed my mind in some form or another.
Everytime I fasten my seatbelt and I always remember that it was you who made sure I did. Whenever I hear one of the many songs or movies that you introduced me to, I wonder, "what's she doing right now? Is she alone? She's always so social and beautiful, she couldn't be single. She'll get scooped up by a man quickly in the short periods of time she's alone. Whenever I called her up, she was always seeing some guy, it's like I never have a chance to get close to her anymore. Is it because she's pathetic and absolutely needs someone to shower her with attention, or is it simply because someone is there, and it's something to do? Or is it worse... is she with a man because she's finally fallen in love again?"
It's been a year since I've even talked to you and still my mind wanders and I imagine that you're seeing someone. You go out to dinner with a confident strong man and exchange meaningful gifts of your relationship indicative of the love you share, and finally he'll lead you off into a candlelit room that he's prepared, with your favorite romantic music playing softly in the background. He'll carefully balance kissing you and slowly taking your clothes off, cautious not to ruin the moment that he's trying to create. The mere effort he put into tonight says it all, that he thought of you and he cares only for you. You try not to be abrasive and slip into his arms fluidly, accepting him, allowing him, moving with him.
Then I wonder if you hesitate for a moment. The subconscious return to reality that true romance can't be scripted spills across your mind and leaks out into your body. The passion becomes flavorless. His kisses don't electrify your senses. You aren't drawn to him by a force stronger than gravity or his arms pulling you closer. Is this love? Is this romance? Is this something you need or something you happen to have?
And as you lay in bed in post coital reflection thinking about the two of you, does your mind travel to far away places of fancy, where everything is blissfully simple, and the complex has fallen like the notes of a symphony to a cathartic crescendo of emotion that leaves you breathless? Your whole life for a moment can be summed up in the feeling of two repressed lovers exploding in their honesty for one another. You come back to Earth and you wonder. You look over at his sleeping face, and then back to the ceiling. And just as you feel smothered and trapped by the moment, your mind takes off again and you smile to yourself softly as you imagine love as it should be.
I would regret your unhappiness with life if this were the case. As someone who is unable to stop loving you, I want to see your life lived to the fullest. On the other hand, I would not feel so alone if someone I shared so much was connected with me by one more thing. Hope. The hope of finding true love with someone you respect and care for. Hope that someday we won't end up marrying someone simply because it's the time in our lives to settle down. Hope that we can love someone more than we one loved each other and put us away in our hearts where we belong. Hope, that maybe, despite all the things we've done to each other out of spite, won't stop us from ever admitting that we love each other deep down, and spite, was the only way to run from the pain of our loss.
But that's all speculation that I'd like to believe exists. I'm sure if you ever read this, you'd feel differently about all this. I just hate that the last memory you have of me is one of a bitter, angry kid who had a lot of growing up to do. I just wish I could tell you that inside this bitter and spiteful guy that you once loved, and hopefully still do, lives a world of hope. I could be spending this Valentine's Day with another woman, but I've yet to meet someone that makes me feel like you did. I'd like to think that if I were spending it with you, knowing what I know now, I'd never give you a reason to leave again. I'd like to think I'd be a better man and be strong, diligent and passionate. I'd like to think that I wouldn't make all the mistakes I did when I was a young, stupid kid, head over heels in love with you, but who had no sense of himself.
I'd like to think that you still loved me and that we could be together as happy as we were once, and I could take care of the only person I've ever truly loved.
But now we are only a memory. I know that it could never be the same. And though we've both moved on, there's always hope that every now and then, when you stare up at your ceiling at night, your mind still wanders back to me.
...
As always, good luck, and I love you.
Ben
User Reviews
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-02-15 04:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
goddamn you
Submitted by GuinnessSince1759 (user info) at 2006-02-14 21:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sadly I did not. An ex gave me a card...I hate her and she is always tring to get to be buddies with me. I called her fat later...she is......why am I rambling...
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-02-14 21:15:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I followed the rule.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84018
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-02-14 21:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2006-02-14 19:49:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
Meh? Are you kidding? What are you guys smoking? This is absolute shit.
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A-Fucking-men to that!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2006-02-14 19:49:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Meh? Are you kidding? What are you guys smoking? This is absolute shit.
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2006-02-14 19:35:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Y HALO THAR MEH
Submitted by Foonbo (user info) at 2006-02-14 19:26:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess I didn't get that memo.
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2006-02-14 19:11:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JillTheLass (user info) at 2006-02-14 19:05:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
A soIid 'meh'.
Submitted by JillTheLass (user info) at 2006-02-14 19:05:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A soIid 'meh'.
Submitted by Yoga (user info) at 2006-02-14 19:00:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How emo. </3 []=[]
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-02-14 18:58:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
long time no -2