Psychology of eating alone (1820 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: psychology
Rating: 1.32 on 51 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by AJ <uberaj.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-02-15 16:13:12 EST
"It was an unseasonably warm Feb. 14th, which allowed the children to walk home without their jackets." The Simpsons quote runs through my brain as I leave the store to head home. It's 60-some degrees and February, and they're already talking like it's going to snow on Thursday. Iowa weather, man. Makes me feel like moving more times than not, but I'm comfortable. It's only 6:00 but I'm hungry.
I don't eat dinner very often because I never feel like cooking. Our apartment's messy all the time and the kitchen counter space isn't enough to prepare anything on. The table's all scuffed up from playing quarters and all the junk mail accumulates along with plates that the cunts I live with were too lazy to rinse and put in the sink. Day-old sour cream or salsa or ketchup or barbecue sauce isn't something I want to look at or catch a whiff of while I'm trying to prepare a meal. So I'm content to maybe make a ham sandwich because I can do that without ever actually putting the bread or the meat on any surface of the apartment because my hands are big enough to hold it. Plus if I try to cook something by the time it's prepared and ready to go on the stove or in the oven one of them pops out of their little corner of the apartment to sneak in with a frozen pizza or some macaroni and cheese. So dinner in the conventional sense gets skipped unless I go out.
So I'm still walking to my car, jacket slung over my shoulder and keys in hand when I decide it's time to go out to eat. There are several choices but it has to be somewhere that has a stoplight nearby and at least four lanes of traffic on its street because it's 6:00 and everyone's either heading home or going out for the evening. Even though it's Iowa, the busiest street in one of the biggest cities still makes for a pain in the ass to drive on, and if I decide it's too much of a hassle in my head then I decide I may as well hop on the less-traveled freeway and go home for my ham sandwich in the disgusting apartment.
So I'm moving. I'm getting sick of the disgusting apartment and the long commute and getting hassled about random things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things but "stop downloading your music because I'm trying to play World of Warcraft, bitch!" Because World of Warcraft lag time is more annoying than taking a shower and having an inch of standing water at the end of it and having to plunge the drain because one of the roommate's body hair clogs it every time he takes a shower. So auf weiderschen, I'm moving.
So I decide on a place to go eat. I'm not picky, but I do have a few criteria. I don't like going to traditional sit-down places to eat. At least not when I'm alone. Telling a host or a hostess that's around your age that you're only going to have a table for one usually gets a cock-eyed glance or a smirk or a look of pity and that fucks with my appetite. So no traditionality or hostesses or hosts or any of that bullshit. No take-out either. If I come home with take-out I'll get the third degree about why I didn't call one of them to see if they wanted any. I realize as I'm thinking this that I sound bitter, which is part of the reason I'm going to move before the lease is up because I love my friends and don't want to be bitter toward them.
I pull into the Nothing but Noodles parking lot and don't even bother trying to find a spot close up. I can walk. My legs are about four feet long, I can stand a block walk. It takes less time than fucking around and driving in circles and following some poor bastard and his family that's headed to the van that's got three kids to contend with and an asshole in a Focus sitting behind his car impatiently and looking at him as if to say, "hurry it up, Mac. Your life is over but hurry the fuck up so I can get on with mine." It probably irritates him for one, and it probably reminds him of days when he got to drive the car he wanted and didn't have to have the dual-sliding automatic van doors and the mortgage and got to drink out of the carton. He's still got his pride, but not the spine to yell at the cunt in the Focus to cock off and give him the finger because now he's got to worry about the impressionability of his children and whether they're going to tell their friends or teachers or relatives to cock off and what his wife will say to him when they do. Divorce seems like an inevitability when there are things to worry about. So he'll politely corral the kids and silence their queries about where they're headed next and if they can go to the pet or candy or toy store because they need a puppy or a candy bar or a tickle-me-fucking-Elmo RIGHT NOW.
I don't like doing that to people. So I park and walk. I get into the restaurant and see that there's a huge line and people sitting everywhere. And I think about that Simpsons quote and realize it's the episode where Lisa choo-choo-chooses Ralph or wants to bee his Valentine. I can't remember which card came first but it still dictates that it's St. Valentine's Day and there are couples of people everywhere. Holding hands in the line as they look up at the menu on the wall. It's not a take-out place in the conventional sense. It's a take-a-number counter to be sure, but the atmosphere is different. Sinatra or Martin or someone else from the Rat-pack era playing on the presumably satellite radio station called "Eeeeh issa alla Italiano" or some such gimmick. Love the music, but it's cliche.
Stucco walls of a beige or tan earth tone and purple paint on the trim. Marbly looking black laminate tables and steel with black chairs for the tables and stools for the countertops. Outdoor patio with aluminum punch-top tables in the same color and style as the chairs and stools and other furniture. "Atmosphere." It doesn't make for a bad wait in line but it's Valentine's Day and they're playing "That's Amore" and couples are sucking face or staring deeply into each others' eyes or holding hands and I half-expect some couple to start doing the pasta in Lady and the Tramp thing which makes me laugh. It's mostly young people in the restaurant. It's cheaper and faster than a sit-down restaurant of the same genre like Olive Garden so it lets them get on to whatever fucking even they've got planned for the rest of the night, maybe even fucking.
One of the few times being tall has its disadvantages is when you're alone in a large group of people that has formed their own subgroups. I laugh to myself quite a bit when I see things that strike me as amusing and that tends to draw looks if you're not nudging someone next to you with your elbow and whispering it to them so they can laugh as well. And some guy who's got his testicles in a snare with his girlfriend won't try and look around to see what's so amusing and laugh too or ask you what the skinny is, he'll just try to look admonishing like his girlfriend when she clicks her tongue and turns back to the task at hand. Which at the present time is waiting in line.
I don't mind lines, it gives me time to think. Usually I think about how everyone else in line is impatient with waiting and alternating picking up their feet and fidgeting and looking at things more intently than they normally would and scoffing and clicking their tongues and looking at their watches or cellphones to see how fucking long is that line and why isn't it going faster? It's one thing that I can have to myself because if someone else were here I'd have to nudge them and share with them what I found so funny because otherwise they're doing the tongue-clicking and fidgeting. I hate having a sense of obligation.
I haven't been to this place in quite awhile and I can remember why. The price. I don't usually eat alone and my friends are more content to drop five bucks on a burger and fries than nine on a plate of pasta with meat and breadsticks. Nuts to the atmosphere. Don't even try to explain the concept of not having wait-staff to tip, either. Tipping is apparently for suckers.
So it gets to be my turn in line and I place my order and this chick isn't a hostess so she doesn't care that I'm eating alone I think she's just happy it's one order she doesn't have to do with two people. No stupid jerk chewing on their tongue and looking back at the menu even though they've been in line for over fiften minutes and asking "what's good" as if she's going to tell them what's bad if asked. Hell, for all anyone knows, that chick probably doesn't even eat there because she knows what the procedures are and how a dirty fork can get overlooked for the atmosphere so just use a napkin to wipe it off and get it out in the bin with the rest of the silverware.
So I take my number and go to the counter and place it down while taking my coat off. I brought the coat in as a defense for eating alone. If I left my seat and there was no coat or anything there it makes people pose the question as to whetehr anyone's actually sitting there or if they're done eating or what the story is and they'll congregate in an area off to the side of the spot until they get confirmation one way or another. And when you're eating alone there's no one with you to say "oh that spot's taken." And I get my silverware and napkins and my drink and sit down. I could've taken a table but when you're one person and you take a table when there are couples in line you tend to catch dirty looks and clicking tongues and normally I'd give 'em the eye right back with a fuck-you-dickshit-I-paid-for-dinner-too look, but tonight I'm in my work clothes and don't feel like having a conflict, if only on the subconscious level.
I watched "Sideways" a few weeks ago with a girl and there was a scene where Paul Giamatti was eating alone and the phrase "oh no he went unarmed" came up. Odd phrase, but everyone given the context knows what it means even if it's their first time hearing it. He didn't have a book or anything. And I'm sitting waiting for my food and I'm unarmed too. It's a funny saying. As if an extra person in tow is a weapon and when a couple approaches a lone patron at a restaurant they'd better be packing a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" or an iPod otherwise their shit's going to get smacked up. So I stare out the window and wonder if I should go get my iPod out of my car that came in the mail yesterday but decide against it because maybe the bus-people will come by with the plate while I'm outside and have a quizzical look and not set it down because they want to confirm the order. Did I double-lock the car? Maybe someone will steal the iPod because I'm parked in the middle of the lot and no one's around.
But if it got stolen it wouldn't matter to me. I treat material possessions as just that. How would my life differ if I had my iPod for a day or for a year? It wouldn't. Does an iPod make you a different person inside or out? Probably not. But this isn't about the iPod, and my order's finally up so I can stop looking out the window pretending not to notice the people sitting at their tables and doing the Lady and the Tramp pasta thing and snickering at my solitude.
And I start eating and I realize another reason I haven't eaten here for months. Mediocre food and most of it salty. It's okay, but it could stand to be better and would be if I cooked it myself. Not good enough for the price unless you take into account the atmosphere and the overhead of having to pay the staff full wages because they don't get tipped. It's a little irritating to think that restaurants should be able to use that as an excuse because I certainly would pay more if the food was better. I view money about the same as that iPod sitting outside waiting to be stolen when it's only got a couple hours' worth of music on it.
Would more money make sure I had companionship at this restaurant instead of eating alone? Maybe, but it doesn't matter. I'm not eating lonely, I'm eating alone. Less money might make it so I'm not in this restaurant because I'd be more loathe to spend it on medium quality food with great atmosphere and the whole clean-well-lighted-place doctrine. I'd hate to see the type of company kept if money was the only reason I had it.
So I finish my food and wipe my mouth and wonder about how if I did have someone here eating with me would they be done eating now or would I have to wait? Or would I take more time to eat and have to field a stare of expectancy or endure conversation about their state of affairs while consciously trying not to eat like a slob. Because eating alone lets me slurp this fettucine and get sauce all over my clothes because who am I trying to impress? I used to be of the mind that people eating alone in the college cafeteria should pair up and talk to each other so that they wouldn't be alone and they'd get to meet someone they wouldn't otherwise know.
It occurs to me that even if they weren't eating alone, they'd be eating lonely. First impressions looming, conversation surface-scratching and trivial and trite. And I think about all the couples and how long it's going to be until they tire of each other or run out of things to say to each other and be eating together but both eating lonely. Has the question crossed their minds? Not tonight it probably hasn't because their thoughts are on the piece of jewelry and the chocolates and teddy bears and bedroom teddies that they got for the special night and how much it's affected them and changed them tonight. Tonight they're focused on the little things. The things they're going to forget until the date looms again next year and they'll start thinking about how they got that one thing last year that was cool at the time but didn't change anything and start longing for something better for a gift this year that will really change their world.
And maybe just maybe they start to think about the creepy tall guy that laughed to himself and sat at the counter looking lonely and ponderous and wonder if he's going to be eating alone this year. The thought may cross their mind but be pushed out by the call from the significant other that has made reservations at a bigger and better restaurant with better food more choice and even more Italians on the radio. Dinner's at 7:15. And no one wants to be late for dinner when they're with someone else. Even when they're eating lonely.
Happy Valentine's Day.
***
Insert Uberdirectory picture here:
User Reviews
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-05-18 01:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by deedee (user info) at 2006-05-18 01:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-08 09:41:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84852#1873081
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2006-02-20 08:18:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I pull into the Nothing but Noodles parking lot and don't even bother trying to find a spot close up. I can walk. My legs are about four feet long, I can stand a block walk. It takes less time than fucking around and driving in circles and following some poor bastard and his family that's headed to the van that's got three kids to contend with and an asshole in a Focus sitting behind his car impatiently and looking at him as if to say, "hurry it up, Mac. Your life is over but hurry the fuck up so I can get on with mine." It probably irritates him for one, and it probably reminds him of days when he got to drive the car he wanted and didn't have to have the dual-sliding automatic van doors and the mortgage and got to drink out of the carton. He's still got his pride, but not the spine to yell at the cunt in the Focus to cock off and give him the finger because now he's got to worry about the impressionability of his children and whether they're going to tell their friends or teachers or relatives to cock off and what his wife will say to him when they do. Divorce seems like an inevitability when there are things to worry about. So he'll politely corral the kids and silence their queries about where they're headed next and if they can go to the pet or candy or toy store because they need a puppy or a candy bar or a tickle-me-fucking-Elmo RIGHT NOW.
I don't like doing that to people. So I park and walk."
+2 for this,a very admirable sentiment, one with which mirror.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-02-20 08:09:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'm not eating lonely, I'm eating alone."
That's very cool.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-16 19:46:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I couldn't tell.
Hyuck hyuck.
I've actually never read anything by James Joyce.
Faulkner I can take incrementally. As in two inches at a time. You see what I did there? Har har.
I tried to read the Sound and the Fury a few times but I just couldn't get into it.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-02-16 19:16:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-15 22:10:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's my opinion that something needs editing only when it sounds or looks bad without it. In something like this, I could have thrown in all the commas and the periods and the exclamation points or any of the other fucking punctuation it 'needed,' but that would've slowed down the pace of the writing, which is really quite frantic, and as such would've thrown off the flow in the story.
Just because something isn't technically perfect and structured doesn't debase its value. I know they must've had something along those lines in your English classes, didn't they, Bubba? Hell, any teacher that recommends Faulkner wouldn't be able to argue about sentence soundness and structure.
_________________________________________________________________________________-
Heh. "I knew Bill Faulkner, and you are no Faulkner."
Several things old Billy F. did were 'stream of conciousness', similar to James Joyce.
He tended to write in the Southern vernacular, as well.
Just trying to start some shit with you to reduce the boredom. . .
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-16 16:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're welcome to do better anytime you like, cunt.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-02-16 09:53:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WTF? I'm not reading all that.
Also
This post was PURE CRAP. How about next time you do the psychology of my ass.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-02-16 09:02:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't eat alone without first being armed with my MP3 player and a magazine/newspaper.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2006-02-16 08:59:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My nigga.
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2006-02-16 08:01:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:52:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like run-on sentences and use them quite often myself.
---
I agree. Fused (run-on) sentences trivialize material; sharp, elliptical sentences amplify it. Some of both in this post, and they're in the right places.
Submitted by GuinnessSince1759 (user info) at 2006-02-16 03:06:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84024
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-02-16 01:03:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For story and using "rife," in this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84093
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-02-16 00:07:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
kickass
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-02-15 23:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i didn't block you nob head
it's true that i ommitted to place you in the default block position after our last chat
actually, the little messenger thing came up saying 'apullo is online' but YOU didn't message ME
i assumed you were sloberring over some poor women's clitoris, or thereabouts
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-15 23:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No worries, mate. Once you become completely Americanized you'll be able to do what's called "multi-tasking" which essentially means you'll eat with your face while typing with your sausage fingers and with your pants around your ankles because you've got two Mozilla tabs up... one for Ubersite and one for Bridget the Midget's foot fetish site.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-02-15 23:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh and don't think i didn't see you log in and then quickly block me 'outraged'.
cunt faced parrot!
g'night all.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-02-15 23:22:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
chaps,
you are arguing with someone who CHOOSES to be referred to as Bubba.
A waste of time no?
Poly sorry for logging off messenger, i just couldn't be arsed talking with you.
Trying to stuff as much pizza down my face as possible whilst watching southpark.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-02-15 23:13:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my poor spelling is a combination of typing, dyslexia, and not giving a fuck - in addition to the dumbness
however, as a general rule i don't think spelling has any connection to 'dumbness'
regarding the so-called 'rules' of writing in English: for people with no feel for the language, for those who are doing it by numbers, sticking to basic rules like avoiding repition of words or phrases is probably a good idea.
for someone like poly, who does actually have a feel for writing, that is not necessary.
in this case, the repitition of the phrase 'cock off' strengthens the message and the humour.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-02-15 23:05:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-15 22:13:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope that part about being "dumb as well" was just a general statement about the populace of Ubersite, and not a dig at me. You can argue that I'm just about anything aside from dumb, Bubba. Stop being so lax in your attempts to rile people up.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-15 22:10:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's my opinion that something needs editing only when it sounds or looks bad without it. In something like this, I could have thrown in all the commas and the periods and the exclamation points or any of the other fucking punctuation it 'needed,' but that would've slowed down the pace of the writing, which is really quite frantic, and as such would've thrown off the flow in the story.
Just because something isn't technically perfect and structured doesn't debase its value. I know they must've had something along those lines in your English classes, didn't they, Bubba? Hell, any teacher that recommends Faulkner wouldn't be able to argue about sentence soundness and structure.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-02-15 22:09:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-02-15 21:55:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
"He's still got his pride, but not the spine to yell at the cunt in the Focus to cock off and give him the finger because now he's got to worry about the impressionability of his children and whether they're going to tell their friends or teachers or relatives to cock off and what his wife will say to him when they do.' ('Cock off twice in one sentence?) = F
i have to disagree
i thoguht this was one of the best sentences
repititon of cock off completely appropriate
_____________________________________________________________
You spell just as poorly as the author. Maybe you are as dumb, as well. . .
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-02-15 21:55:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"He's still got his pride, but not the spine to yell at the cunt in the Focus to cock off and give him the finger because now he's got to worry about the impressionability of his children and whether they're going to tell their friends or teachers or relatives to cock off and what his wife will say to him when they do.' ('Cock off twice in one sentence?) = F
i have to disagree
i thoguht this was one of the best sentences
repititon of cock off completely appropriate
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-02-15 21:27:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh! You were the guy who told me you could outwrite Jack McCallum anytime, anyplace??
You, Sir, are the Master of the run-on sentence:
"He's still got his pride, but not the spine to yell at the cunt in the Focus to cock off and give him the finger because now he's got to worry about the impressionability of his children and whether they're going to tell their friends or teachers or relatives to cock off and what his wife will say to him when they do.' ('Cock off twice in one sentence?) = F
But please, disregard my humble opinion. I am but an internet
puke with a worthless English degree. . . .RIGHT!! :<)
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-02-15 21:08:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to travel a lot for my job. I'd sit there in flash restuarants (Work was paying, why the hell not?) on my own. I watched people a lot. probably looked like a freakshow too.
But there's something sad about sitting there, having a meal alone, watching other people have conversations and laugh together.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-02-15 20:58:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this.
I would also enjoy a picture of you making a sandwich in your hand
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-15 20:25:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Appreciate the comments about length and hookers.
1) When I write these I just type them straight into the box without editing... usually takes about 30 mins.
2) This one actually didn't happen.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-02-15 20:02:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I KNEW if we squeezed hard enough a modicum of talent would come out.
I went to a sushi place and pretended to eat sushi.
i FUCKING HATE FISH.
ESPECIALLY RAW FISH.
Caved in the end and ordered a steak
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2006-02-15 19:54:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Please dont post about that one time you had sex. A blow by blow description of paying fifty dollars and your hips went up and down two or three times would be worse than this pile.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-02-15 19:51:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
now poly, if only you were in thailand or somewhere similar you could just get a cute young girl for a dollar or two to eat with you
of course, you would then face 'the psychology of being a white man eating a meal with a prostitute in a poor asian country'
at least though you would be spared 'the psychology of being a flabby middle-aged white man - ie sex tourist - eating a meal with a prostitute young enough to be his daughter in a poor asian country'
this post has clarified in my mind a central problem in my life: 90% of the time i have been equally concerned by such matters as eating alone. but during two or three periods of what were possibly insanity, i was not. i have tasted life on the other side of the fence, damn it. but i can't recapture it.
the last time i was in a liberated state i thought to myself 'this time i will never go back into my shell'
but i did.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-02-15 19:28:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
entertaining, but way too long. you coulda said all that in half the time. maybe less.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-15 17:27:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You know what that makes you, Durae?
A poser.
Think about that for a minute. You had no preconceived notions of pasta whatsoever until you read this. STOP STEALING MY BRAIN
Submitted by Durae (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:54:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to make pasta tonight in my nice, cleeean kitchen.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:54:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to do a lot of traveling for business and never could go unarmed into a restaurant alone.
As a side note, I saw a lovely and heart warming story on the news last night about how Valentine's Day is the busiest day of the year for private detectives on the divorce beat because they catch a lot of cheaters hooking up with the other man/woman etc or there are charges for flowers that didn't go to the wife.
So maybe next Valentine's Day you should poke that giraffe head above the crowd and try to figure out who is with the other woman and who is with their real girlfriend.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:52:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That House Of Noodles or whatever it is sucks balls for every reason that you mentioned. This felt like mostly stream of concious and rambly, which is great because I like run-on sentences and use them quite often myself. Also, I think I aged 36 years or so in the time it took to read this.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:51:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
His nostrils are too big. I've been told I look like Jimmy Stewart but only after doing a horrible impersonation of him.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:47:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it is Fred Gwynne. you know from car 54... aka herman munster.
Submitted by Hash_brownie_supreme (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:45:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read the whole thing, that's pretty deep man.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Couldn't you have just called yourself a "lonely loser" in like, two paragraphs?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:37:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your long, rambling, somewhat inane posts.
Their AJ personified.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:35:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I eat alone all of the time. I love it. I don't have some person sitting across from me, while I ponder what inane thing that they'll say next.
"Hey did you check out the local sports team and their win/loss?"
Blah. Blah. Blah.
When I sit at the bar for a bite, I just want to feed my face, have a brew and everyone around me to shut the fuck up.
I am a crotchedy old man. With old balls.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:28:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who's that, Mick?
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:26:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://img70.exs.cx/img70/3982/FG-3581255B-FE8E-4ddc-AE52-11DCA0034980.jpg
i knew you reminded me of someone, but i could never put a finger on it...until now.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:25:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really like these 'psychology of' posts.
Submitted by _Aries_ (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:24:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I ate some napalm and shit out a nice bouquet of chrysanthemums. I gave them to my aunt Helene for easter. She died when she smelled them.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:21:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I only skimmed it - but the bits I read were good. Perhaps I'll come back when I'm more focused.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:16:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my, my, my...
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:15:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy fuckballs that came out to 4 1/2 pages.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-15 16:14:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
WTF IM NOT READING ALL THAT