BOISTOROUS BRIAN BlESSED HERE! (1013 hits)
Category: NewsLabels: BIOGRAPHY!
Rating: 0 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by BRIAN BLESSED (View user info) at 2006-02-17 04:27:35 EST
HELLO ALL!!
BRIAN BLESSED HERE, YOU MAY REMEMBER ME BEST FROM THAT MACGUYVER FILM FROM 1994! YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHERE I TALK IN A REASONABLE VOICE ABOUT HOW KNOWLEDGE IS THE GREATEST TREASURE OF ALL, AND HOW YOU ARE *ALL* MY FAVOURITE STUDENTS!!!!
WHAT? STOP SHOUTING?!!! MY DEAR HILDEGARD, I AM SPEAKING AT A PERFECTLY REASONABLE VOLUME!!
Hildegard has put on my muzzle, reducing me to a mere whisper of my usual self. Those at the back, please keep it down, otherwise you may not hear my words of wisdom.
I just wanted to introduce myself to the good hearty folks of Ubersite. UBERSITE. It has a ring to it don't you think? It reminds me when I was starring the film Flash Gordon back in the 80s. That was a quality production!! The director told me to be as hearty as I could be, and boy oh boy, did I oblige!
Not only were my words 'Who wants to live forever?' my personal motto, but that smashing chappie Freddie Mercury titled a song after them, I often sing that song when I'm running errands for dear old Hildegard, although it occasionally is a source of some consternation for my travelling companions.
Yes, last time I was venturing up Everest (the jolly great big mountain in Tibet) - the old singing caused a few problems. Not many of you may know, (having not climbed Kilimanjaro like yours truly) - but loud noises can sometimes set off avalanches! Indeed, sometimes even quite quiet voices can cause it too! That's what happened when I was treating everyone to a few verses of Queen
Let's just get the old voice in order - right...
THERE'S NO TIME FOR US
THERE'S NO PLACE FOR US
WHAT IS THIS THING THAT BUILDS OUR DREAMS YET SLIPS AWAY
FROM US
WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER
WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER....?
WHAT'S THAT HILDEGARD? TOO LOUD??!!! NONSENSE!! OH VERY WELL
Damn muzzle.
Anyway, as I got to the chorus, the ruddy mountain started shaking. They don't build mountains like they used too. Anyway, being the seasoned campaigner, I shouted for everyone to take cover, poor blighters, by the time they heard me the whole thing had collapsed on them...
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVEEE!!!!
YES HILDEGARD - I'LL GO AND WALK THE HOUNDS NOW - YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT YOU KNOW?!!
User Reviews
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2007-04-30 15:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude i fuggin loved you in "my family and other animals" n shit.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-20 15:11:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH DEAR GOD!
+2 because I almost got fired for laughing so hard at this.
Submitted by Brian_Blessed (user info) at 2006-02-24 06:48:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOULD ANYONE LIKE AN AUTOGRAPH??!! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET ME A ROLE IN A NEW FILM!! THE LEAD FOR PREFERENCE!!!
Submitted by Brian_Blessed (user info) at 2006-02-21 06:54:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-02-21 06:49:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
I STILL DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB
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GLAD TO HEAR IT LADDIE! I'LL WIN THE OTHERS OVER WITH TIME AND A BIT OF THE BLESSED CHARM!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-02-21 06:49:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I STILL DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-17 16:36:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-17 09:12:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Quit yelling, fucktard.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:22:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
SEXY MAN LOVE
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And you know what else?
I just realized that the font on the "real" post page is different from the font you type your responses in. So when I type a capital I (as in "idea") I can see the serifs as I type the response, but not when it gets to the main post.
Weird.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:08:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shitty alter or not, Flash Gordon was one of my favorite movies of all time once, largely because of the boisterous Brian Blessed.
I also think it is quite funny how you screwed up the title. You know, like how you can get away with putting all caps in a title if you substitute a lower-case L for a capital I, but in your title, the only letter you didn't capitalize was the L. So you sort of had the idea, but not quite.
That's pretty funny.
To me, anyway.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-17 09:12:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Quit yelling, fucktard.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-02-17 08:21:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Enough with this shit, you fucking idiots.
Submitted by Mr_T (user info) at 2006-02-17 07:43:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr T has decided he wants to act in a film with this guy. He is helluva tough.
Submitted by Brian_Blessed (user info) at 2006-02-17 07:40:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
KURT MY BOY!!! LOVED YOU IN BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA!! I SHOULD HAVE PLAYED THE CHINESE SIDEKICK THOUGH. I WOULD HAVE BEEN FANTASTIC IN THE ROLE!!!
I NEED A NEW MOVIE TO SHOWCASE MY YORKSHIRE TALENTS!!
Submitted by Jack_Burton (user info) at 2006-02-17 07:33:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you crazy sonofabitch.
Submitted by Brian_Blessed (user info) at 2006-02-17 07:27:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I AM THE REAL BRIAN BLESSED!!
SADLY THE WORK HAS DRIED UP A BIT RECENTLY - SO I'M NOW LOOKING FOR ALTERNATIVE EMPLOYMENT!
See, I can do quiet TOOOOOOOO!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-02-17 07:25:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
even I've made better alters than this.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-17 07:17:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sigh....
Submitted by Brian_Blessed (user info) at 2006-02-17 06:58:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Mr_T (user info) at 2006-02-17 06:47:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fool! You gonna give me your gold!
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MR T?? YOU PLAYED THE BLACK CHAPPIE IN THAT A TEAM DIDN'T YOU? I WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER AT IT - YOUR VOICE IS FAR TOO QUIET AND LOW KEY. YOU NEED TO PROJECT!
PROJECT!!!!
Submitted by Mr_T (user info) at 2006-02-17 06:47:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fool! You gonna give me your gold!
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-02-17 05:13:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YOU BETTER GET THAT ABSESS LOOKED AT!
Submitted by Brian_Blessed (user info) at 2006-02-17 04:54:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Douglas (user info) at 2006-02-17 04:50:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
GORDON'S ALIVE!!!!???
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ONE OF MY FAVOURITE LINES!! I AD LIBBED IT YOU KNOW? PROPER SHAKESPEAREAN ACTOR ME! I SHOULD HAVE PLAYED HAGRID IN HARRY POTTER - I WOULD HAVE BEEN FAR SUPERIOR. THAT ROBBIE COLTRANE IS A MERE SLIP OF A MAN - AND HIS VOICE UNCOMMONLY QUIET!!!!
Submitted by Douglas (user info) at 2006-02-17 04:50:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GORDON'S ALIVE!!!!???
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-17 04:38:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My ears and my eyes are bleeding. Shouting AND giant pictures? I do hope you get bored.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-02-17 04:36:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No thanks.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-02-17 04:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That was pretty shitty. I might read it again.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-02-17 04:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lamest alter ever. Try again.
Except this time, be a hero and do Q-Bert.
Submitted by Brian_Blessed (user info) at 2006-02-17 04:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
AH YES BLACKADDER!! SOME OF MY FINEST WORK. I DON'T GET THE OPPORTUNITIES TO WORK IN THE THEATRE, UNLIKE MY GOOD FRIEND PATRICK STEWART. I THINK I'D MAKE A RATHER FINE HAMLET - WHAT DO YOU THINK?
AND AS FOR MY VOLUME, I'LL TRY AND MODERATE IT GOOD CHAP. HILDEGARD CAN BE VERY STRICT WITH ME. WHEN SHE GETS OUT HER EAR PROTECTORS, I KNOW I'M IN FOR THE ROUGH SIDE OF HER TONGUE WHAT!
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-02-17 04:33:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
For fuck's sake.
I miss Carol Richards
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-02-17 04:31:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OOOOH SHIT. A SHOUTING ALTER. I HOPE YOU'RE FUNNIER THAN MR T, BECAUSE IF ALL YOU DO IS TYPE IN CAPTIALS, THIS MAY GET DREARY.
YOU WERE GOOD IN BLACKADDER BY THE WAY>