It's Good To Walk In The Mountains -OR- The Random Ramblings Of A Recovered Addict (w/ uberdirectory camwhore!!!) (882 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.46 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Draqus (View user info) at 2006-02-19 18:52:55 EST
So I'm sitting in my seat, right now, and my head's doing the thing where it feels like I'm falling over. Which is weird, of course, because I'm not. Unless the house is sliding down the hill, in which case the cups and things sliding away make a lot more sense. Aaah...
-=-
*Random List #1: The Desireable Qualities of the Ladies*
1) tits
2) arse
3) eyes
4) get it up 'er
[in that order]
-=-
I smuggled a bottle of vodka into my room. Drinking vodka straight is nasty shit- yet I still enjoy it immensely- but not half as nasty as whiskey. Christ, that stuff just hurts. And it gives you the merry-go-round stomach in the morning. The only way to solve *that* little conundrum is to be sick.
Maybe I'm being sick too often? Can't be good for the liver. The drinking, I mean, not the being sick. That shit's probably not good for the lining of your stomach, or something.
-=-
Liver cirrhosis: Cirrhosis is a chronic disease of the liver in which liver tissue is replaced by connective tissue, resulting in the loss of liver function. Cirrhosis is caused by damage from toxins (including alcohol), metabolic problems, chronic viral hepatitis or other causes. Cirrhosis can also lead to impotence, kidney dysfunction and renal failure (hepatorenal syndrome) and osteoporosis.
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I rethought my stance on weed. And then I rethought it again. I'm thinking now that I don't care. It's not the worst way to die, I guess. But of course, my automatic assumption is that it ultimately leads to death (similiar to my views on alcohol- irrationality!- but it hasn't stopped me yet); I only have the government's word to go on- they sponsored the research, and they have a vested interest in acquiring negative results to back their stances up- when you think about it, and that's interesting, cos who the hell listens to the government these days anyway?
Not me.
Well, probably. You can believe them when they say things like "I'm only grinning 'cos it gets me more votes, and holding your baby is so fuckin' boring: he doesn't look beautiful, he looks like a horse that's been put through a blender." But they never say that any more.
-=-
*Random List #2: The Worst Ways to Die*
1) Drowning
2) Suffocation
3) AIDS (indirectly, of course)
4) Anal haemorrhaging
5) Falling down a bottomless pit
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I'm looking for inspiration and all I can think about is Thrush, and I'm not even saying why, 'cos it'd embarass the hell out of her. I think she shocked herself when she told me, but it was a welcome change from the conversation on the other side of me: Bru, in his fifties, as drunk as Jesus himself- he'd been on the electric fizz since we got offstage, so that would make it about six hours, and he was doing a pint every ten minutes- staring at the ceiling for as long as it took for his neck muscles to give out and drop his head, whereupon he would scream "Draqush, how the shfuck are yooouu?"
I've never had thrush, and I'd never expected to, but apparently it affects men as well, to a limited extent. I'd better get the snip, if I want to miss *that* indignity. Yeast's a bastard.
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Thrush: The most common symptoms are itching and irritation of the vagina and/or vulva. A whitish or whitish-gray discharge may be present, sometimes resembling cottage cheese, and may have a "yeasty" smell like beer or baking bread.
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I hate it when I hear the same thing twice. These people know who they are. Sometimes I hear it maybe, three, four times, and I nod and smile and say "you told me before", and they act like I stuffed my fist up my arse.
I can't do that, incidentally. I'm no goatse-man.
-=-
*Random List #3: Bodily Discharges and Their Food Parallels*
1) Shit = chocolate
2) Piss = lemonade
3) smegma = cheese
4) blood = ketchup (I've never got that one, myself)
5) semen = salt (Shlongy, can you confirm?)
-=-
Have a camwhore. I'd say you deserve it but you don't.
User Reviews
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-20 16:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Peace in to the Irish posse, big up, nuff respec due, yo!
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2006-02-20 16:33:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Kudos to BranDo.
Wouldn't be difficult to figure if you read back a few posts, though. I have mentioned it before.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-02-20 16:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ANGLO ALERT!!!
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-02-20 16:01:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
My guess: Irish.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-02-20 15:57:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Scut Farkus?
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2006-02-20 15:47:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm not Scottish. But you're not far off. Keep guessing.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-02-20 09:12:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Your random thoughts interest me.
Submitted by cat_head (user info) at 2006-02-20 08:27:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm guessing you play role playing games.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-02-20 07:03:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
More like a walk through Brokeback Mountain.
Submitted by claymation_dude (user info) at 2006-02-20 06:04:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I rethought my stance on weed. And then I rethought it again. I'm thinking now that I don't care. It's not the worst way to die, I guess. But of course, my automatic assumption is that it ultimately leads to death (similiar to my views on alcohol- irrationality!- but it hasn't stopped me yet); I only have the government's word to go on- they sponsored the research, and they have a vested interest in acquiring negative results to back their stances up- when you think about it, and that's interesting, cos who the hell listens to the government these days anyway?
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There has only been one recorded death of cannabis toxicity, don't believe the hype.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-02-20 01:26:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ALBINO!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAAA>
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-19 22:38:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
lies, lies, all of it eval lies!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-02-19 21:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
dale...earnhart...jr?
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-02-19 21:54:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-19 19:01:38 (#)
Ranking: 1
Youre Scottish, arent you? Oh come away min, wie hair like that? you are!
Theres more of us on here than youd think, even if you arent.
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oh, he's scottish
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-19 21:40:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
was this your first movie role?
http://www.s-plan.fslife.co.uk/deliverance/deliverance_guitar.jpg
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-02-19 21:27:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No. I did not deserve that.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-19 19:01:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Youre Scottish, arent you? Oh come away min, wie hair like that? you are!
Theres more of us on here than youd think, even if you arent.