The Secret Language of Bartenders - Revealed! (50247 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: boredatwork
Rating: 1.94 on 140 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by nitty (View user info) at 2006-02-21 14:25:41 EST
User Reviews
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-03-11 16:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At the gay bar
Gay bar
Gay bar!
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-03-22 11:19:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I prolly rated this before, but fuck it, I enjoyed it....
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2007-03-15 18:40:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rejected (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:50:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Just give me a drink and shut the fuck up."
What does the bartender say to that?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
That normally recieves a drink with only a half shot of booze, and my dick used as a stir stick.
Submitted by rejected (user info) at 2007-01-10 18:50:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Just give me a drink and shut the fuck up."
What does the bartender say to that?
Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2006-10-06 06:56:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Beautiful! So very true.
Submitted by getalife (user info) at 2006-10-05 16:12:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny guy
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-10-03 13:47:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't remember if I've rated this before. Oh well.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-10-03 13:34:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+ 2000000000000.
Submitted by Targa (user info) at 2006-10-03 13:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heck yes.
Come play where I work. I just don't give a damn about the bar and it shows. But I end up with good tips, since people tend to pay what they expected their tab to be, and I wind up with a 50% tip.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-02-23 09:53:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome post.
Proper tipping and the right attitude allow me to go to almost any bar in Blacksburg and drink beer for free. Liquor gets "mysteriously" cheaper, as well. This past weekend, I got four CC & gingers, a double crown and coke for a chick I used to play pool with and three pitchers of beer for the table where I was sitting - my tab: 9 bucks.
Bless you all, oh servers of the sweetest nectar.
Submitted by QuietObservation (user info) at 2006-09-23 04:33:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dead on.
Submitted by Konerak (user info) at 2006-09-23 04:10:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want more..
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-07-26 17:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the tips.....I think I knew most of that anyways....that is why I tip good, even though I hate it....at least I get served.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2006-06-16 22:12:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a former bartender I can 100% agree with all of these especially the ID'ing ones.
Hot chicks ALWAYS get in, ugly bitches and queerbait guys don't.
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-05-11 15:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by desipalen (user info) at 2006-05-11 15:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-04-06 06:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
are you still gay? no? hm... well okay then!
sorry about my fupa failure...
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-04-04 06:13:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fairy Toolbox
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2006-04-04 05:36:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking brilliant!
True, every word.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/23109
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2006-03-31 16:30:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Out. Fuck. Ing. Stand. Ing.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-03-30 09:30:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-03-29 14:59:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I probably have already +2'd this.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2006-03-29 14:44:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The bartender has his eyes sewn to his skull?
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:15:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-28 01:58:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:22:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
6 levels of cool. And a penthouse suite of awesome.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-28 01:43:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nicely goodest
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2006-03-26 23:32:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My favorite part is when it shows what the bartender is REALLY thinking!
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:22:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
6 levels of cool. And a penthouse suite of awesome.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:11:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is still the funniest post ever.
And I'm not just saying that because nitty fondles my balls.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:58:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-03-18 11:52:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I pissed myself!!
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-03-16 23:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-03-16 23:13:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
solid 1
Submitted by Godless_dave (user info) at 2006-03-16 22:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-03-16 10:42:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
solid, nitt.
Ghettostar!
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-16 09:45:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is good. Not great, but better than 99% of the stuff on here.
You should put together a running series of posts called "Nitty the Bartender" where you deal with insolent customers, hawt beeyatches, and drunk old fools in Rancid hats like JL.
Or you could play the role of Uber-tender where you answer all of our life questions....
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2006-03-16 07:38:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the forth one made me laugh for ten minutes
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2006-03-15 22:13:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@WESOME.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-03-15 18:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you hitting on me?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-03-14 13:45:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:02:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahaha.
You know... I have never kissed a chick. I'd be willing to, but never have.
Don't really see it going any further than that, though..seriously lacking some - er - point of interest, for me, at least
----------------------------
Don't knock it till you try it....
TWICE!!
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2006-03-15 12:34:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Fairy Toolbox."
Rich.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-03-14 13:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:02:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahaha.
You know... I have never kissed a chick. I'd be willing to, but never have.
Don't really see it going any further than that, though..seriously lacking some - er - point of interest, for me, at least
----------------------------
Don't knock it till you try it....
TWICE!!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-03-14 13:38:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good post.
I was a little thrown by the amount of tipping of the ber tenders that went on over there as it just isn't done here.
Waiter/ress yes, but barman never.
I think I must have over tipped in one place because I seemed to get served very quickly in a busy bar by the same guy every time. Maybe he was just queer for me.
Any (foreign) port in a storm a guess.
-dave
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-03-14 10:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Juxtaposition of ugly underage chick vs. hot underage chick: priceless.
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2006-03-14 05:56:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Thanks for the $16 tip, Slater"
YES!
Submitted by a_reader (user info) at 2006-03-14 05:08:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W now?
That seems a little delayed.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-14 04:14:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W finally?
Kick ass!
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-02-23 20:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Probably my 4th time rating this, but it's one of the best I've seen in my short time here. It's something we've all always known. I always over tip, and order straight no bs drinks. Bartenders love the Kang.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-02-23 12:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I heart you
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-02-23 09:53:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome post.
Proper tipping and the right attitude allow me to go to almost any bar in Blacksburg and drink beer for free. Liquor gets "mysteriously" cheaper, as well. This past weekend, I got four CC & gingers, a double crown and coke for a chick I used to play pool with and three pitchers of beer for the table where I was sitting - my tab: 9 bucks.
Bless you all, oh servers of the sweetest nectar.
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2006-02-23 09:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-02-23 02:42:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-02-22 07:20:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:28:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Rico +2
**********************
Oh Rico, you weird-looking bastard...
This was awesome.
---------------
And see, I thought I was the only person who still watched wrestling...
So, judging by ratings, it's just us 3 now.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-22 13:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-22 08:41:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
So true.
I usually would card someone if they didn't know what they wanted to drink right off the bat.
Card them?
My philospohy was to turn and walk away...I'd usually consider going back and asking them again "what'll ya have" in about 8 minutes...all the while listening carefully for their bitching under their breath.
What I REALLY used to like to do was when a dork came in with a decent looking broad - even if they both looked about 16 - was card the DUDE ONLY!
Talk about pissed off...and also, that was usually good for a return visit by the chick - alone - for some free Shlongy no-strings cheap action - sometimes right in the Scorgies hopper.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-02-22 13:24:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 FUnny1
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-02-22 12:20:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe
Submitted by Kidmc (user info) at 2006-02-22 09:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That just made me feel so... lol! (+2)
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-02-22 08:41:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So true.
I usually would card someone if they didn't know what they wanted to drink right off the bat.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-02-22 08:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kick ass.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-02-22 07:20:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:28:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Rico +2
**********************
Oh Rico, you weird-looking bastard...
This was awesome.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-02-22 05:13:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
where else in the world do you tip the barkeep for every fucking drink?
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-02-22 05:06:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad I don't need to tip where I drink. If the staff at my local are earning minimum wage even after I pay £3.10 ($6.50 US) for a pint of Guinness, the manager should be drawn and quartered.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-02-22 04:58:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone who feels my pain...
PREACH IT BRUTHA!
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-02-22 04:14:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Never a barman, always a bartender.
This rocks.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-02-22 01:45:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
god bless my friendly neighborhood bartender.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-02-21 23:49:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another +2, on the house. (What I really mean: This kicked ass and I feel gay for rating it twice but... lol.)
Submitted by Malachewaii (user info) at 2006-02-21 23:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
loved it.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-02-21 23:28:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2006-02-21 22:50:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Two things, real quick.....
1) Unabonger is exactly right. Take care of the Bartender........
2) I cannot believe I missed the Caddyshack reference. I am ashamed of myself...
___________
I'm always fucking right...I just rarely get noticed.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-02-21 23:17:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-02-21 19:37:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
It still cracks me up that you guys have to wait till you're 21 to go to a bar.
------
aw, thanks for reminding me. id almost forgotten.
*cries emo tears while hating US government and doing nothing about it*
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2006-02-21 22:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Two things, real quick.....
1) Unabonger is exactly right. Take care of the Bartender........
2) I cannot believe I missed the Caddyshack reference. I am ashamed of myself...
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2006-02-21 21:57:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome. I love the ones with the underage drinkers.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-02-21 21:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank ya very much. Well done.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-02-21 20:28:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It wasn't THAT great, and you DO seem rather abusive of your power to dispense or withhold alcohol... BUT, I fear teh Bart-Bart, and it was good enough. I'm too poor to drink in bars anyway!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-02-21 20:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nicely done
Submitted by nightshade (user info) at 2006-02-21 20:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by weasul (user info) at 2006-02-21 19:47:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What do bartenders think of starting off with a big tip (usually $20 on the first drink) and then tipping $2 per drink after that with the intermittent mid-sized tip?
It seems to work well for me.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-02-21 19:37:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It still cracks me up that you guys have to wait till you're 21 to go to a bar.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-02-21 19:36:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm the third guy.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-02-21 19:33:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:15:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Thanks for the $16 tip, Slater"
GOLD.
--------------------------
good show, indeed. leilani, i think this is better suited for collegehumor.com
my last post is b@w material ;)
god i'm a huge fag.
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-02-21 19:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the queer with sideburns is Rico
+2 for rico
rico rico rico
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-02-21 19:21:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PENIS HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT?
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-21 19:10:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very nice job. dare i say, B@W? yes yes i do.
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2006-02-21 18:54:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i wonder if the regulars at the bar i tend know that for the most part, they are the most pitiful, sad pieces of shit in the world.
and also, when i say "enjoy" while serving a Cheesey Bacon Cheeseburger, i really mean, enjoy the fact that people think of you as lesser for being a fat disgusting piece of shit, and good luck with the heart disease and/or Acute Myocardial Infarction.
good read and hotdamn is that hottie with the bottom boobage hanging out a vision!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-02-21 18:37:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
just shut the fuck up and serve me my drink you minimum wage piece of shit.
what on earth makes you think I give a fuck what you cunts think?
one about the tits was funny.
Submitted by Ferretnose (user info) at 2006-02-21 18:13:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-02-21 18:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've seem them all.
Only we usually make slightly less disgruntled bar staff because we don't EXPECT a tip.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-02-21 17:55:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I moved to Nashville and instantly found a corner pub.
The fourth or fifth time I went in there, I kicked both bartenders (both female) a twenty each, introduced myself and said "I'll be in here quite a bit, just wanted to say hello."
They haven't once forgotten my name, even when I don't go in there for a month or two, and they always serve me immediately.
Want to impress your friends and every chick at the bar? Treat the bartenders right and they'll make you look great. It works both ways.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-02-21 17:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always feel sorry for anyone who has to deal with the public for a living. I think it's even worse if you're a waiter or a bartender though. Hungry and/or drunk people can be even more stupid and rude than they'd normally be.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-02-21 17:01:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-02-21 17:00:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for "the Ocho." Dodgeball rules.
However, I am tempted to deduct a point for that "rural Nebraska" shit.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-21 16:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew I was fucking it up...it wasn't sounding right to me, which is why I had that underline in there.
Fuck off.
OK, I'm sorry...I blew my cool there. I'm just really overwhelmed at work. It's almost to the point where I'm making TOO much money here. It blows.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:53:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Then you ain't gettin no coke - know what I'm talkin about?"
How do you misquote Caddyshack?
That's a dollar.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:50:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...Then YOUUUU ain't gettin', no Coke....whattya think about that, ______?"
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:45:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn fine work.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:45:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I especially like the underage ones.
Submitted by LiquidPaper (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pretty fucking accurate.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:30:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wondering how long it would take you to get that one.
"I ain't payin no 50 cents for no coke!"
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:29:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
..."that'll be 50 cents..."
BUahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:28:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was a bartender for a year. I didn't read this.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:26:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Prost!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:26:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm an asskisser, honey...
But this is some funny and highly accurate shit.
I'll take this over Underdog's 140,000 Hits MSPaint mess-a-thon anyday.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:24:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've seen them all.
Being a regular drinker at a bar and being a cognizant drunk is a fun combo.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:22:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bwahahahahaha!
Submitted by no_one (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:20:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:15:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Thanks for the $16 tip, Slater"
GOLD.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:07:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, so true
TTOM, former barman 1999-2002
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahaha.
You know... I have never kissed a chick. I'd be willing to, but never have.
Don't really see it going any further than that, though..seriously lacking some - er - point of interest, for me, at least
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:02:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2006-02-21 15:02:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GOOD SHOW GOOD SHOW
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:59:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:57:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
What if the bar-tender is a chick?
------------------------------------------------------------
Go to kiss her on the cheek and swing for the lips instead.
Those random dudes who never buy you drinks will be falling over themselves to not only buy you drinks, but to pay your mortgage, give you a kidney, and paint your house.
Trust me on this one.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:59:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:57:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What if the bar-tender is a chick?
Submitted by Mrdurden24 (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:54:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I haven't bartended in over a year now.
Crystal, you're cute. No tip required. Just show some cleave.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:54:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I just want one rib!"
"Okay, one order of ribs, coming up!"
"No, I just want ONE RIB!"
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:52:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so I have a serious question, Nitty... how big should a tip be?
Generally, I tend to leave at least a buck per drink.. but if I'm getting 5 drinks, I leave about 3 bucks, plus whatever change is left..
If the bartender cuts me a deal on drinks, I'll estimate the difference between the true price and and what I paid, and out that plus a buck as tip..
good, bad, indifferent, what? I know.. I'm clueless.. but I WANT to know
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:49:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i love my bartenders, they see me and have my drink ready. they rule. or maybe i'm a funny drunk...
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This kicked all sorts of butt.
Submitted by Aztune (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:46:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How true.
I bartended for a couple years, and this is frighteningly accurate.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Goodness, provided in plentiful amounts.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:45:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by SteveJohnson (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:44:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Outstanding.
Always take care of your bartenders.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:44:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know, I wept a little and then I pee'd
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:42:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
as a frequent bar fly, i agree
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:42:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:39:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:38:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
J, you know that B-rad shoutout was just for you.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:38:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This makes me miss bartending. I used to think stuff like this all the time.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:37:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That girls tits are talking to me...something about releasing them from thier cotton prison
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah.. well written, and very entertaining
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:36:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I once beat the dog shit out of a bartender for thinking those very same thoughts.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:36:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wait......
this doesn't help me much. I always tip, I always have my id, but random dudes never buy drinks for me!
maybe it's because I buy my own? And I don't date the manager of a bar?
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:35:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahahahahaha fucking great
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:35:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:33:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet! This is the most entertaining I have ever read this week.. EVAR! This week.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:33:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet my bile duct...
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:33:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm suprised someone picked up on that.
Leave it to you, Orgasmo. Well done.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:28:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto Rico +2
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2006-02-21 14:28:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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