The Centaur Project Pt. 3: Cryptonomicon (597 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: centaur_series scifi
Rating: 2 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Coyote (View user info) at 2006-02-23 01:00:11 EST
Day 33—It's a damn good thing I turned off all the read permissions on my personal files, because I totally forgot that once we made contact the big dish automatically deployed to stream every goddamn piece of data on the ship back Dirtside, no editing. Upside is I can bring the stream to my cabin and see if McSwain and Mendel are about to fuck up and blow us sky high, or if Sara's filling up the psych officer's log with more bullshit about my authority issues. Heh. Without Ito reminding me, I'd have forgotten all about the live streaming, but I bet she didn't think she was going to be using it to kick off a second career as a porn star.
Anyway, I had all my files under lock and key anyway, so my little illegal private log gets to stay private. Not that I give a good goddamn what anyone at Control thinks about my notes, and don't think for a second it's just because they won't be seeing the stream for nearly a century, 'cause when we miss our call-in deadline by more than a week they're gonna drop a listener through the loop, and when the little snitch nosedives onto Elysium B before it can report anything back, they'll send an extraction team. By the time it gets here, we'll either have friendly interstellar contact and I'm a hero, or interstellar war, and I'm a hero. Or spacejunk, depending.
Good news is, we'll probably still be alive to watch Loring and his rescue team do the big meteor burn onto Elysium—he can play boyscout all he wants, and he's better than most of the bushleaguers they call pilots these days, but he's no Robert FitzWilliam.
Bad news is, it took so much fucking delta-vee to do the decel in the gravity well that all the fuel left don't amount to more than a squirt of piss. No way in hell we get back to the Hotpoint like this. Ran the numbers with Thorne all day while Mendel and fuckin' McSwain suited up and did the flyaround for visual. That ringplane crossing pretty much wiped out the sensors and damaged the hull more than I would have guessed. Mendel spent the whole fuckin spacewalk muttering about the risk I took going through the loop and bitching about the way I run the ship. Closed channel with McSwain, but they didn't realize it still goes into the feed for the high-gain Dirtside streaming log. Or if they did, they didn't realize I got the stream in parallel.
So, yeah, yesterday fucking sucked. Mutinous stirrings from the least competent, least attractive fuckers aboard, enough fucking orbital mechanics to make Isaac Newton punch a nun, 16 straight hours of diagnostics and repairs, and the whole time Ito's telling us all everything she's goddamn figured out or guessed about the aliens. By about three hours after the time when I would have knocked off for a beer if we had any fucking beer, when I had my head down in the guts of the power couplings with Thorne reading the goddamn technical manual to me, I was just about to fucking smash his face in if he'd whistled just one more fucking jaunty Scottish air. If I never hear another verse of "Ring-ding diddle diddle die-de-oh", it'll be too goddamn soon.
Heh. Maybe there's something to that psychology crap after all, 'cause Sara announced a break for R&R just in time to save Dougie from a royal hydrospanner beating. Usually 36 hours after a loop transit we're still on the long slow coast into a system with nothing to do but give ourselves the creeps thinking about what it means to be 86 light-years from home, so a quick random fuck is just the ticket. Emergency situation like this, with us damaged and unable to return home, in the face of possibly hostile intelligent aliens, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Control would have wanted me to defer the scheduled R&R, order a round of stim pills, and keep working overtime on the repairs. But guess what? When it comes to what Control wants I've pretty much used up my supply of giveafuck.
Fuck of it was, when I was nailing Sara we always made up bullshit reasons to skip the R&R whenever someone else's name came out of the hat, but last night Ito's name was exactly the one I wanted to see on that slip of paper. No baggage, no history. Far as I knew, she was only interested in two things, cryptography and contact, so I had every reason to expect to get up inside that tight little asian cunt without any fucking mind games at all.
Well, she got her contact alright, but probably not the way she was picturing it. Heh. When the video stream gets back to Earth they might even try to charge me with rape, depending on what fucking bullshit bleeding-heart government happens to be in place by then. Whatever. I got the diverted stream on replay right now and it's fucking hilarious. We're supposed to be up in the bunks with the privacy curtain drawn, but I found her in the main lounge, standing staring out the window with a little telescope, recording the flashes from the aliens' beacon, and making notes on a little touchpad. Doesn't even answer me when I come in and remind her that Psych ordered some R&R for everyone, she's talking all these numbers to herself and writing a continuous stream. I mean, talk about your basic OCD dysfunctional bitch.
When I came right up behind her and touched her shoulder, she shrugged me off and says "Not now, I'm in the middle of something", and on the tape you can so clearly see me reach around to grab her tit, but you can't hear what I said when I leaned right in close to her ear and told her "Captain's orders are to open your legs and get fucked."
Okay, obsessive math genius in the middle of achieving her highest professional ambition meets valiant and horny rocket jockey, you'd think she was either going to tell me to fuck off, take the negative report, and keep working, or play by the rules and take a break so she can go back to translating an alien language and I can go back to fixing our goddamn ship. Right? Wrong. She doesn't even stop her scribbling when I grab her tit, I mean grab it hard, the whole little Japanese breast in my palm, but she stops her litany of numbers and sighs and just says "Oh jesus, do what you want, just shut up and stop distracting me," and without breaking the pace of her computation, she leans forward over the console and pushes her ass out at me. I still can't stop laughing every time I think about it, she's like some kind of idiot savant.
So she's working away, saying stuff every few seconds like "8 psi... methane... obliquity 17... partial pressure... Nyquist sampling rate...", and I'm trying not to listen, because as far as she's concerned I'm not even there, and nothing kills a hard-on quicker than being ignored, I mean you can't even hate-fuck someone if they're just oblivious to you. So, as fucking hot as it is to yank her shipsuit down and grab her fine, pert little ass with both hands, kick her ankles apart, and start grinding myself hard against her asscheeks—and make no mistake, Science Officer Lt. Emily Ito has the finest asscheeks in three solar systems—as hot as it is to run my hand down her belly and clamp my finger on her clit while I dip my knees and bring my cock high up between her thighs, all systems go and ready for launch, it just feels like I've stumbled into a gloryhole at the autistic math team convention.
When there's no fantasy there you gotta double the friction, so I guess I was really fucking hammering the little cunt, I remember her asscheeks shaking with each impact even though you can't see it on the fucking video. Anyway, I had her pinned between my body and the console, and I would swear on a stack of fucking Bibles she was getting off, she was so fucking wet. I was just getting my rhythm, using her to jack myself while she kept working in that idiot genius Rain Man way, when she scares the fuck out of me—on the video you can see her clench both fists and slam her palm down on her display screen so hard the fucking thing actually cracks. I tell you what, I have never, fucking never, been startled into an orgasm before, but when she screamed "Stop looking over my shoulder this is fucking mine", I couldn't help it, I shot my load deep inside her and stumbled back, and on the video I look like a total schmuck, reeling back with my pants around my ankles and my dick in my hand.
I didn't notice at the time, but I can see now on the vid, she looked right at the fucking camera then, she turned around, bare-assed, with my fucking come running down her thighs, and looked right at the video stream and said "they have a base-8 number system, they're not humanoid, and their society is military and matriarchal." Now I've seen plenty of chicks with that glow in their cheeks and that freshly-fucked grin before, but that was the first time I ever had to wonder if it was me or xenolinguistic cryptography that was responsible.
Heh. Stupid bitch doesn't realize I got the answer to all our problems off her fucking screen before she smashed it. Typical dumb broad, she has all the info there and she doesn't recognize a mining outpost when she sees one. If she knew thing one about planetology she'd know that moon wasn't the cradle of any intelligent life. Militaristic societies I can deal with. As for matriarchal... you think she smashed that console screen cause she was psyched about finding out they compute in base-8? You can call that base covered.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
DSE-13 COR
MET 33:17:30, 21:45 ST
Range 86.39 ly Terr. Alt. N/A
Orbiting HD216437c, "Elysium B"
Continuing repairs on superstructure have restored sensor functionality. Spectrometry of the third moon indicates chemistry suitable for on-board fuel synthesis. Science officer's report of alien activity consistent with this hypothesis. Fuel reserves sufficient to bring us to parking orbit around moon-3 for detailed analysis. It is the firm belief of the commander, first lieutenant, engineer, and science officer that our survival depends on swift action to utilize the resources of the moon despite the risk of unprecedented close contact with aliens of unknown strength and intention. Psych officer Goodrich and Engineer's Mate McSwain wish me to formally log their objections to this plan on the grounds that direct contact with aliens has not been authorized by Control. Objections noted and overruled. Thrusters fired, consuming 90% of our remaining fuel, at 21:20 ST. Insertion at moon-3 expected in 17 hours. Logged Cmdr. Robt. M.A. FitzWilliam.
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 20:31:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-08 09:14:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's not rape - it's surprise sex.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-06 08:48:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"you can't even hate-fuck someone if they're just oblivious to you"
It's a sad truth.
Really enjoying this series.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-05 20:08:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?"
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-02-24 18:40:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84523#1856068
I don't mind the sun sometimes
and the images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
and smell you in my clothes
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-02-24 16:19:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-02-24 01:04:08 (#)
I'll be in my bunk.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Safely strapped down.
For, uh, the journey through hyperspace I mean.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-02-24 01:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll be in my bunk.
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2006-02-23 22:05:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-23 16:43:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GODDAMMIT, WHEN WE GET DIRTSIDE, I WANNA SEE THEM SPACE HOOKERS, YOU GOT ME BOY?????
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-02-23 15:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Filthy... you dirty, dirty boy.
I am never disapointed when I spot a post with your name on it.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-02-23 14:56:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These are just excellent.
That and the extra bonus of space sex is just too much.
Truly.
I'm overwhelmed.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-02-23 14:40:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I suck at this series thing, I keep forgetting the linkwhores:
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84066
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/83617
Submitted by drivebyasshole (user info) at 2006-02-23 14:14:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just read all three. This should be getting much more attention.
R&R should be required in every other installment.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-02-23 13:37:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Awesome!
I love this guy.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:31:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-02-23 01:15:04 (#)
But you didn't write this drunk, did you?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Um... parts of it.
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2006-02-23 06:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
glad the official journal is still being used as a counterpoint
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-02-23 01:30:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"glory hole at an autistic math convention"
fucking awesome.. this whole thing was awesome
and should NOT have been as hot as it actually was
I feel so ashamed...
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-02-23 01:15:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But you didn't write this drunk, did you?
By the way, I love this series.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-02-23 01:00:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Let's hear it for posting drunk.