Random Nonsense (2033 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: RandomThoughts
Rating: 1.11 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tom Sorrell - sorrelltr.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2006-02-23 11:11:22 EST
Please bear with me. I really want to start writing again, but I keep putting off starting anything of substance. The more I put if off, the less likely I'll ever write anything (even though I have about five different ideas for stories), so I need to do something to get back into the groove of writing. This might help. It certainly can't hurt.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night because I have to go to the bathroom or something, but I've just had a dream about demons or the devil or something so I'm all freaked out. One night, I even woke up saying the Lord's prayer out loud. This can't be normal, can it? Also, if I'm being visited by the devil in my sleep, what do I have to do to sell you my soul? Can we make this happen, please?
Speaking of sleep, it seems I always get fantastic ideas for things to write about as I'm getting into bed. Of course, I don't want to walk all the way out to the living room to write it down, so I repeat it over and over so I'll remember it ... but I NEVER remember it. Ever. And it was always something really good ... or at least I tell myself it was. You'd think I'd keep a pen and paper on the night stand, but I'm paranoid about my eyes, so I refrain from doing so. What I mean is, I can envision many a scenario where I could injure myself thanks to the proximity of the pen to my face. For instance, if I was dreaming about being chased by an enormous cloven-hoofed demon and I thrashed around a bit, I could easily roll onto the pen and poke out my eye.
Why is it that when a husband/boyfriend of your wife/girlfriend's family or friend does something stupid, you immediately become an asshole? It's like women have a switch in their brain that immediately flips over to "I HATE MEN" mode. Even though their husband/boyfriend did nothing wrong he's still Guilty By Reason of Penis.
Will someone please explain how Heath Ledger has been nominated for a Best Actor Academy Award? Forget about the context and hype of the movie he's in, this is the guy who played lead roles in A Knight's Tale & 10 Things I Hate About You ... and badly, I might add. It's almost like the Academy pissed off the Gay and Lesbian Alliance and is now saying: "No really, we're tolerant. We promise. Watch this. Watch what we do right here. We're going to nominate this guy just to appease you." Did you ever think Heath Ledger would be nominated for Best Actor in your lifetime? Jack Nicholson, Tom Hanks, Heath Ledger? No way. What's worse is if he wins this award, he'll forever be known as Heath Ledger: Academy Award Winner. Seriously, this can't happen - it's Heath Ledger! Someone needs to put a stop to this.
Aside from that travesty, the worst thing about Brokeback Mountain is the "jokes," and I use the term jokes loosely) that have come from it (no pun intended). "Brokeback to the Future," "Top Gun 2: Brokeback Squadron," people talking about someone and calling them a Brokeback Hotel Clerk or a Brokeback UPS Delivery Man. ENOUGH ALREADY. The last thing we need is another slang word in our vernacular for homosexuality. What, the 2,400 we already have are not enough? I say we write in an amendment to the US Constitution that anyone who makes a Brokeback Mountain joke will be castrated and forced to live the rest of their life as a eunuch cowboy in North Dakota.
Speaking of homosexuality, I think it's awful that certain things are suddenly synonymous with homosexuality - as if the car you drive or music you like has any bearing on whether or not you willingly give or take cock from/to a man. What, straight men are not supposed to like certain things because they're straight? Fuck that noise. Take me, for instance, I like the theater, I drive a Jetta, I like to read, I dress fairly nice. Because of this, I get hit on by guys quite often, even though I'm minding my own business. It's not like it freaks me out or disgusts me, I just find it obtrusive and presumptuous.
User Reviews
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-02-27 01:37:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This gave me a great idea for a post. I do much the same with the ideas when in bed, except I DO write them down. I also have a voice recorder there. Let me tell you it makes no difference - they are all indecipherable, and the ones I do understand are random pieces of rubbish I could only have thought entertaining while that close to passing out.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-02-24 03:30:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Voice recoreder?
Nonononononononononbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad....
YOu hear yourself one time in the middle of the night chanting for some strange demon to awaken in your apartment, and you're never the same.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2006-02-24 02:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Maybe you could keep a voice recorder next to your bed. They are handy for taking notes in so many situations, and you won't poke your eye with one.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-23 16:47:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
SOLID +1
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-02-23 16:20:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
put paper next to your bed...
jot down your ideas quickly in point form...
when you read your notes.. the idea should come back to you...
not sure why guys are hitting on you... good luck with that!!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-02-23 15:33:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"What, straight men are not supposed to like certain things because they're straight?"
yes, shagging girls.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-23 13:50:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-23 13:30:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-23 12:43:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
goonies never say die!
'But I'm not a Goonie'
:p
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I forgot. But still...don't you realize? The next time we see sky it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the bestest stuff for us. But right now they gotta do what's right for them, 'cause it's their time. Their time, up there. Down here it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up "Troy's bucket".
(Mikey pauses. He gives a long hard look at everyone. They look at each other. Mikey takes a puff and continues.)
(Troy and his friends are pulling up the bucket and the rope. When it gets to the top we see that Andi has put Troy's sweater on the bucket.)
Troy: Andi! You Goonie!!
--
best scene/movie ever1
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-02-23 13:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Guilty by Reason of Penis"
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-23 13:30:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-23 12:43:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
goonies never say die!
'But I'm not a Goonie'
:p
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-02-23 12:43:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
goonies never say die!
Submitted by ThatsGodToYouBitches (user info) at 2006-02-23 12:08:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Gotta love SPT
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-02-23 12:06:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-02-23 12:02:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:48:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:40:46 (#)
Ranking: -1
www.myblog.com
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Fuck off, ozzy. Everything on this site could be considered bloggy - including everything you write.
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Right........ you have me confused with Loki.
I post random unfunny bullshit mostly. But rarely, if ever, bloggy stuff.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:48:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:40:46 (#)
Ranking: -1
www.myblog.com
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Fuck off, ozzy. Everything on this site could be considered bloggy - including everything you write.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:45:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hopefully Foulke will be so pissed at how last season went that he'll light a fire under his ass to return to form.
Too many 'hopefully' situations out there for my taste, really.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:40:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
www.myblog.com
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:40:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, it's certainly no SHLONGY RANDOM THOUGHTS post, but it is random, so what the hell.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:36:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop thinking so much and start beating your wife/gf.
Words of wisdom.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:30:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If Schil's ankle holds up he's winning 20.
This is going to be an interesting season. If the pitching staff stays healthy, they should win 95-110 games. If not...I don't even want to think about it.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:18:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Schilling looks trim(mer) this year. Fucking svelte.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:18:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
uh....Brokeback Tom Sorrell?
Isn't a Sorrell a horse?
Hmmmm.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:17:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"It's like women have a switch in their brain that immediately flips over to "I HATE MEN" mode. Even though their husband/boyfriend did nothing wrong he's still Guilty By Reason of Penis."
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Can I get an amen?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-02-23 11:16:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh... ok.