Important and tragic S of relationship challenged, circumstancial virgins / involuntary celibacy, (459 hits)
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Submitted by Incel Awareness (View user info) at 2006-02-23 13:10:12 EST
When people think about hardship in the world, they think of living in an extremely poor region, with constant violence, dead family members, dead friends and risk of attack.
Unfortunately, what people tend to miss out on, is that there are many members of comfortable middle-class society who have far more unfulfilling lives than many of these people. As many shy, socially inept youngsters reading this may be first learning, many males get what seems to you as an almost incredible amount of contact with females, while you, whether you are deserving or not, get absolutely nothing. In an older society, even to a large extent in the later teens, a small proportion of males have sex with the largest proportion of women. What is most painful to learn, is that the seemingly quiet, shy and "pure" girls are often the ones who seek one-night-stands with suitable strangers to satisfy their desires.
And all this while some of us have never experienced any affection whatsoever.
It is almost heartbreaking, when one reads about an area which is slowly growing in awareness, INVOLUNTARY CELIBACY, or "incel". The term incel applies to both involuntary celibacy and involuntary celibates. As http://www.incelsite.com/ shows, the lives of adult males who have never had a relationship with the opposite sex before, usually because they lack skills with women, can be bleak, confusing and overall depressing.
Celibacy linked to depression:
http://www.altpenis.com/penis_news/20010627064754data_trunc_sys.shtml
Note: A line in this article is misleading, as two of the three groups categorised have actually had sexual relationship(s) before, and one is a virgin group.
One thing i noticed on http://incel.tribe.net/ a public forum devoted to incels, is that the typical celibate is usually a virgin in their mid-30s. Here is an excerpt from one of the latest posts.
(34 year old virgin)
"I don't feel fully human. It seems like for
normal people it just happens almost automatically where with me it
has been a lengthy struggle and I'm not there yet. "
"He suggested to me if I wanted to lose my virginity I
should just go to Nevada where prostitution is legal and hire a
prostitute. I couldn't see myself doing that."
Note the last line. While it is possible for these people to lose their virginity by simply hiring a prostitute, many of these incels, no matter how degrading their situation may be, simply see themselves above seeing a prostitute and desire something more, desire being valued as a sexual partner and desire adult affection. It is natural to desire someone who is not paid money to go through the motions. There is a world of difference between a sexually active girl(or "slut" an offensive term) who chooses her partners for a one-night-stand, and a prostitute who spreads her legs and lets the customer use her vagina in exchange for money. Most incels would rather spend their 30 year lives being virgins then being able to tell themselves "i am 30 years old and have had sexual relationships with prostitutes".
It is almost heartbreaking to read accounts such as this one:
" I am a 28 year old male who has never had a "love" relationship. How do I feel? Awful. I'm lonely as hell. Every day is a total bore. My thoughts often fill with disgust for a youth completely wasted. I don't understand relationships that I see on TV or the movies. I can empathise and romanticise with the characters I see, but I don't (can't) really identify with them. It seems to me that I often miss the point or the real emotion in romantic situations in movies.
I have trouble fantasising about sex, as I'm a virgin. I can think about how it must feel, what it is like to touch someone that way. And yet I have no foundation for the experience. This makes me feel very isolated, and alone." "Even worse is the fact that I've never dated, or kissed, or held hands. I'm depressed as hell. And so lonely I'd die if it wasn't for the company of my little dog. Sound pathetic? It is. I don't function in society, and there is little I can do, other than write my story."
While many will discount this issue and perhaps even see it as a joke, please remember that unless one has experienced something, it is sometimes difficult to empathise with another person's situation. This is similar to the fact that people, women in particular get extremely offended and upset when someone does not take rape seriously. Involuntary Celibacy is a serious issue that badly affects the lives and heads of its sufferers.
And rape numbers something which is affected by involuntary celibacy. The fact is, if the number of troubled incels was to decrease, rape statistics would also decrease. Incel has serious negative effects on the mind and can lead to states of mind that the person would not normally be in. Even if it was only a small number of people whose rape were prevented, isn't rape an awful enough crime for this to be worth it?
Rape isn't about sex you say?
Well, 27.5% of rapists are simply unresting 'socially-deficiant' people, who are unable to develop romantic relationships. They are usually not physically aggressive, and fantasize about "CONSENSUAL sexual relationships with women". Often these type of rapists force the victim to "emulate foreplay". This 27.5% is the least violent type of rapist, and their motives for rape fit in chillingly accurately with the typical incel's story.
And even some of the other rapists may be reduced if involuntary celibacy and poor skills with women were made more aware of. Another 28% of rapists are simply mysogynists who feel hatred towards all women. Some involuntary celibates eventually develop a similar hatred and jealousy of women, as often we hate things we cannot acquire. It is only logical that someone who has been starved of something so special and important in life, would become hostile because of being starved. It is similar to a caged animal who belongs in the wild.
To conclude, involuntary celibacy is one of the least recognised, most dejecting problems in the world. It can cause feelings of intense grief, dispair and pain in the lives of it's sufferers. More awareness is needed of this problem, and more work on solving it is needed.
NOTE: While many people manage to project an image to others and themselves that they do not care about love and affection from the opposite sex or in certain cases the same sex, it is human nature to care about this and while there are some exceptions, please remember that you may be fooling yourself when writing a review under this theme.
LINK: http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2372/is_2_38/ai_79439406
JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH: INVOLUNTARY CELIBACY
User Reviews
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-02-23 13:28:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This shit won't get you laid.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-02-23 13:17:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah rape blah blah blah blah blah rape blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah rape blah blah blah blah blah rape blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah rape blah blah blah blah blah rape blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah rape blah blah blah blah blah rape blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Turn your stupid term papers into your Women's Studies professor. Don't post in on here - we're not interested.
But I'm not going to -2 it because of the work put in (I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you wrote it instead of copying and pasting everything), but seriously, we're here to kill time at work and be entertained - not to be lectured.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-02-23 13:13:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Please, this is a SERIOUS writers forum.
Fuck off, pansy.