Bullshit. (676 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.1 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Mr. Sniper (View user info) at 2006-02-23 20:18:55 EST
This post is angsty, but hey, I'm an angsty guy. If you don't like it, you can suck my brother's small, smelly testicles.
The bullshit is everywhere. It's in politics, advertisements, religion, and business. But none of these can hold a candle to the all-time greatest proprietor of bullshit: Relationships.
I'm sick of relationships. All they do is fuck people over. Everyone I've ever dated has either cheated on me or dumped me for dumbass fake reasons to hide the fact that they don't actually care, and most people I know can say the same thing. I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of the bullshit.
And this isn't just me; I'm sure that about 99% of the people who inhabit this giant, sweaty jockstrap known as Ubersite will agree that most people who dump you do so for incredible stupid reasons. "I need some time to get my life back together." No, you found someone who's a better fuck than me. "We've been drifting apart." Yeah, because you've been ignoring me for the past 3 months. "Someone I've h ad a crush on since 10th grade asked me out, and, well... You understand, right?" That's the winner, folks. This douchenozzle actually will break up with you because someone else wants to bang her. The all-time champion of bullshit.
Those of you who are in happy relationships, fuck you. You're the lowest form of life on earth. You're not even human fucking beings. You are the menstrual blood that's absorbed into the enormous used tampon that is life.
So, from now on, I do not go out with anyone. I will not have anything to do with dating. I will be just like the rest of the human race, and satisfy my natural sexual urges in a less painful way. If not having to play flirty grab-ass games means not getting laid, I consider it a bargain(Go Maddox).
Life? It's just a big shit sandwich, and we all have to take a bite.
Fuck it, I want some goddamn pizza.
User Reviews
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-02-24 17:31:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ever heard of a vicious circle? In this case, its where you (the author) are a griping (probably obese) sumbitch who can't maintain a fruitful relationship because of said griping sumbitchedness, therefore exacerbating the problem.
Frequenting gloryholes probably isn't gonna help you either.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-24 17:14:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This post is yeasty, but hey, I'm an yeasty guy.
Submitted by Smooth_Shoes (user info) at 2006-02-24 07:13:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you don't understand someone, try walking a mile in their shoes. That way you'll be a mile away from them and own their shoes. I'm walking.....
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-02-24 07:08:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Angst: A feeling of anxiety or apprehension often accompanied by depression.
Whine: To complain or protest in a childish fashion.
I didn't read any anxiety or apprehension in your prose. This is not angsty, it's whiney, but hey, you're a whiney kind of guy. If you don't like my saying it, you can suck your brother's small, smelly testicles. Again.
Submitted by kitchens_closed (user info) at 2006-02-24 00:39:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont get why jsut because youve obviously had such shit luck you have to go ahead and damn everyone else for being in a relationship. just learn from your mistakes man, thats what relationships are all about.
Submitted by NewestIndustry (user info) at 2006-02-23 21:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Complete Maddox rip, but I don't like people either, so I'll spare you from another -2 and just give you a -1. Lucky ass.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-23 21:41:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH RELAX. go smoke a bowl or something.
Submitted by full_frontal (user info) at 2006-02-23 21:38:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84466
...same story
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-02-23 21:34:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You remind me of this girl at my work who says the whole dating scene doesn't work for her because she doesn't like to plan "hanging out time". That she is fat, ugly and annoying has nothing to do with it.
People like you and her never seem to get the hint if it's subtle, so I'll try being blunt: the reason everyone dumps you for flakey reasons is because you are miserable excuses for human beings. They were drunk when they first agreed to go out with you and they're so tired of paying for it that they'll tell you the first lie that springs to mind to get out of it.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-02-23 21:30:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You wan't some pizza, huh?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84315
Click the link. I DARE you...
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2006-02-23 21:20:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-02-23 21:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You know a post is terrible when a comment like ih8u2man's didn't lighten the heart enough to spare it.
You seem like you believe you're a martyr for your cause. Everyone is rejecting you, and given that you're coming off all "I Will Survive" and whatnot, I'd wager a guess that all this judgement is pissing you off. Do not judge, lest ye be judged, or some shit like that.
I hope to Christ you don't feel that way at all, because you chose the wrong fucking site if you did.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-02-23 21:00:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Dante_Alighieri
User id: 22117 <- somehow been around longer than me
Registered on or around: 2005-09-21 10:40:26
# Messages posted: 8 <-all garbage
# Reviews written: 617 <-means you butt your cystic acne ridden face in other shit too much
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 163 <-means nobody cares about you and your "menstual" rants
# Hits: 3702 <-meh
Average rating of all messages: -0.51 <-nuff said
--------------------------------
If I ever get sucked into clicking a post by you again, I will -2 it without reading it.
I'd do that to all of your others, but I don't want to contribute anymore to your hits.
Die.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-02-23 20:42:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
When you said...
"You are the menstrual blood that's absorbed into the enormous used tampon that is life..."
You meant...
"I am the menstrual blood that's absorbed into the enormous used tampon that is life..."
Correct?
I certainly hope so.
**SUGGESTION**:You should go for a walk. Far away from the rest of us.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-02-23 20:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel like shit todayn too. We can be miserable together.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-02-23 20:27:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"douchenozzle "
Great fucking word, but not enough to stave off the -2 you earned. . . .
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-02-23 20:25:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-02-23 20:22:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-02-23 20:20:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You think YOU'RE sick of stuff...we have to read this post.