Natural Colors - Fiction by Rizzo (887 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.7 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rizzo (View user info) at 2006-02-26 11:40:58 EST
Natural Colors
***
Yesterday I drowned in the ocean. Drowning is probably one of the more peaceful ways of dying. I can't make an accurate comparison to any other form of death, because drowning is the only one I have ever experienced.
I died on a sunny, summer afternoon. The last thing I saw was the back of a boat, a low-elevation mountain range in the distance, a piece of shore line, and blue. I saw a lot of blue. The sky was blue, the water surrounding me was blue. As I struggled, I saw these things, but the most overwhelming thought in my mind was blue. Indeed, when I finally succumbed to the darkness, it wasn't the black I had learned to expect, but rather the blue I had learned to accept.
I fell in love with death. There comes a point when you drown where you know it's over. That's the best part. My breathing stopped, my chest was heavy, and I sank. Slowly, surely, the world faded away. I was going somewhere else. The cool part was that I knew I wasn't coming back to the world I once knew.
I didn't suffer long. Physically, my body stopped receiving oxygen, which allowed no chemical processes to form adenosine triphosphates, the chemical that produces energy. Without energy I could no longer thrash to the surface or fight the currents. It was over, and I was left with less of a choice and more of an acceptance. I was done, and that was just fine. Everything became quiet as I sank.
It was over.
I didn't think of my family, my friends, my problems, my pet dog. I didn't think of Laura in her pink nightgown, her sexy hair wisping over her shoulders the night before when we made love. I didn't think about work, or graduate school, or my car. I didn't think of my stuff. My thoughts were self-centered. At the point of death, there's only two things - you, and the anticipation of what's next. You know it's over, but it's not. Something else is about to happen, and you can't wait to see what's next.
Unfortuately, I never got to see what was next.
When I woke up, I was sure I was dead, but it was morning. I wasn't on the boat. I wasn't anywhere near a boat. It wasn't warm at all. I was breathing in bed, relaxed, but breathing. The covers were everwhere. It was freezing cold and brighter than I ever remembered it being. My Skoal was still on the nightstand. The alarm clock read 9:36. I was home.
It was Sunday.
There was no Laura. There never was a Laura. I owned a TrailPass, not a car. I wasn't allowed to have a dog in my apartment. I had been denied application for student loans to go to graduate school. I had never been on a boat, and I would never get on a boat. I have unbelievable problems with motion sickness that not even modern day medicine can alleviate.
It was Sunday, and yet somehow, somewhere, I had drowned in the ocean.
Could it have been a dream? I pinched myself to make sure I was real. I looked around the apartment for all the familiarities. The same room lights that were always on were still on. My shoes were all lined up like they always are. The pile of unpaid bills on the desk hadn't budged. My computer was still broken. So was my TV.
The faucet continued to drip like it always did.
I couldn't shake reality. Somehow, somewhere, I had drowned in some goddamn ocean. I was sure of it.
The frig was stocked with beer and Mountain Dew. The beginnings of last night's horrible hangover began to attack my body. I chose Mountain Dew, the red kind. I drank hard and read the ingredients of another can as I gulped. Carbonated water. Citric acid. Natural flavors.
My stomach turned, and the soda came right back up, through my nose and mouth. I was drowning again, only this time I was surrounded by red and the feeling was anything but pleasant.
I spit and coughed bloody red. Was that the soda, or my stomach lining? I had to stop drinking soon. Potassium benzoate on the floor, to preserve freshness. Citrus pectin on my Foreman grill. Aspartame on the microwave for flavor, potassium citrate on the frig. Caffeine. Doesn't that help a headache? I gulped again. Calcium disodium EDTA, to protect the flavor of Heinekin and old smoked-out pot. Red 40, and I was drowning in it. Red 40. It reminded me of those large bottles of Piel's we used to get as kids, when it was the only thing we could steal that would fuck us up on a Saturday night in the woods. I puked again, burning acid and beer and Mountain Dew shooting through every orifice in my head. Red 40 in the sink, an artificial color. What happenes to all those artificial colors in our bodies? Do they stay there forever? Will the Mountain Dew addicts of the world eventually drown in Red 40 and Yellow 5 and Blue 1?
I threw out the remains of the soda, the remains of this shitty day. It was sunny again, I was hung over again, and I was looking forward to wasting the day worrying about my life. Somewhere, somehow, a guy that looked like me, thinked like me, and had a lot of things I didn't have drowned in the ocean. Somewhere, in some universe, I was dead. They were fishing my remains out of some warm, pleasant ocean, and I didn't give one flying fuck because I was dead and I was waiting to see what was next.
Phenylketonurics. I threw out the full can of Mountain Dew and puked again in the trash. Phenylanaline in the trash, and the unpaid bills were about to follow. I stared at them, and laughed. Somewhere, I was dead in the ocean, and in that life too the bills would probably go unpaid and in the trash.
To be continued ...
User Reviews
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-02-27 23:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Drowning sucks.....ALOT
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-02-27 22:58:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. I really really like this.
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2006-02-27 12:24:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jimi Hendrix drowned in his own vomit.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-02-27 09:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about recall
User id: 23299
Registered on or around: 2005-11-14 09:48:39
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Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-27 00:45:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by recall (user info) at 2006-02-26 14:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I didn't suffer long. Physically, my body stopped receiving oxygen, which allowed no chemical processes to form adenosine triphosphates, the chemical that produces energy. Without energy I could no longer thrash to the surface or fight the currents.
_________
If you weren't such a pussy maybe you could learn to swim without ATP.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2006-02-26 13:27:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cool story...and bitchen picture!
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2006-02-26 12:20:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heres to unpaid bills
Submitted by queenemily (user info) at 2006-02-26 12:16:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think drowning would be one of the more painful, if fairly quick, ways to die.
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Oh, I'm not sure about that. If I were ever stupid enough to kill myself, drowning'd be the way to go. It's peaceful underwater, and if you fail you aren't going to end up with huge scars or liver damage. As far as I know, anyway.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-02-26 11:58:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think drowning would be one of the more painful, if fairly quick, ways to die. I enjoyed this, I look forward to more.