Blur Of Life (642 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.44 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Ainkara (View user info) at 2006-02-27 06:32:05 EST
Dan tried to focus his eyes on the scene in front of him. Two small children stood holding hands, a boy and a girl. They looked similar, same eyes, same nose. Siblings, Dan's blurry mind decided. He tried to lift his hand, to reach out for their help, but he was too weak. Too much blood had been spilled, the evidence of which could clearly be seen. The little boy looked at his sister and let go of her hand, tottering over to Dan and kneeling by his head.
"Don't worry, we won't tell."
Blackness creeped across Dan's vision and he struggled to hold onto his last strand of consciousness.
"We'll never tell."
It was the last thing he heard that night.
*********************************
Through his eyelids, the light of the hospital slowly came to him. As soon as his eyes opened just a sliver, the brightness invaded his sight and made his head throb. He groaned involuntarily and tried to roll over to block it out.
"I think he's awake officer," said a soft female voice. Dan rolled over and tried again to open his eyes. He saw shapes, dark tall shapes seeming to look expectantly in his direction. A slim lighter shape moving out of the room to other duties.
"Mr. Neare, can you hear me?"
Dan nodded slightly, trying to move as little as possible.
"Mr. Neare, I'm Detective Summ, and this is my partner Detective Fermance. We were hoping ot ask you a few questions about what happened to you."
Dan sat up slowly in his bed, still blinking to adjust his eyes to the harsh light. As he did so, he noticed how much he ached. Looking down at his hands he could almost make out cuts and bruises, and by the feel of it, he could expect much of the same on his legs, chest and face. He opened his mouth to try and speak, but had to close it again as no sound camp out. He tried again.
"I... I don't know what happened."
"Can you remember anything? Anything at all?" Detective Summ prompted.
Dan blinked some more, and tried to cast his mind back. The last thing he could remember was eating breakfast at his home, bacon and eggs. He doubted the officers would be very interested.
"No. Sorry."
"That's no problem Mr. Neare. We'll be back in a day or so to see if you remember anything. In the meantime, if you can think of anything, just give me a call." Summ handed Dan his card. Dan took it from the blur's hand. The detectives walked out of the room, and stood talking to the lighter blur, occasionally turning their faces to look through the glass at Dan.
Dan relaxed. He honestly had no idea what had happened, but was scared that he could be in trouble. At least now he could sleep, slip into that unconsciousness that he had been so unwilling to go to when the children... When the children were there. Why could he remember children? It must have been a trick of the light, or his fading mind. Surely children could not be in a place where this had happened. Sleep took him then, and in his dreams he heard a whisper.
"Don't worry, we won't tell."
User Reviews
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-02-27 11:44:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Amorphous (user info) at 2006-02-27 10:04:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OLEJPO OGT ADPER!
Pass it on.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-27 09:13:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-02-27 09:05:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Intriguing.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-02-27 08:44:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You normally get the standard +2 from me, but this is different. This needed to hook me and it didn't quite get there. Needed to be a bit more developed. I like it though and look forward to the rest of it.
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2006-02-27 07:22:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oooo, Methy, I'm coming to America this year! In june :) Yay me.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-02-27 07:15:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hiya darlin, long time no speak
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-02-27 07:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitly
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2006-02-27 07:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Red, I saw it too, but I thought I corrected it. I must have just made the same typo again.
Oh it was meant to be more than just this one bit. A continuation if you will. If the interest is there.
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-02-27 07:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it. I think if it had been a bit longer and more drawn out, it could have been quite creepy
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-02-27 06:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A nice little excercise there. good use of.. stuff.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-27 06:35:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"He opened his mouth to try and speak, but had to close it again as no sound camp out."
Interesting piece - but this typo is nagging at me and demanding that I point it out. Sorry.