The ShamRock Open - The Banshee to Dublintown Came (1087 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.88 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (View user info) at 2006-02-27 12:59:24 EST
The banshee to Dublintown came, in a flash,
Like a bullet that pierced the blue sky.
Demanding both silver and gold 'stead of cash,
To vociferate one lonely cry:
"A sort of homecoming is all that I want!
This isn't too much to implore!
Just give me my due, as I still haven't found
What I seem to have been looking for!"
"My desire is simple; my needs are most clear;
And I have no mysterious ways.
I ask only for silver and gold, and a beer,
To enjoy on this beautiful day."
Then, seizing a man as the clock ticked eleven,
The banshee ran to One Tree Hill,
As he cast the bloke into the river below,
He declared in a voice dark and shrill:
"I'll rob you of pride, in the name of your love,
And I'll kill you like this drowning man!
Then I'll steal the names from most all of your streets,
Except for Smithfield and South Anne."
"Just do as I ask; you have seconds to spare
Before I turn you into a wreck.
I'll ravage your women, your children, and homes,
And perhaps even Bert's discotheque."
The people of Dublin cried out in alarm,
As they puzzled o'er what they should do.
Then one fearless Irishman stood up and said,
"All I want, my dear banshee, is you."
"You've shown up on this bloody Sunday, my friend;
Most unusual for one so vile.
When I look at the world, I just cannot imagine
Life without you on our sacred isle."
Disconcerted and wide-eyed, the banshee stared at him
And scratched his chin most waringly.
The man forged, "Your laborious, deep, haunting voice,
Is the very thing that captures me."
"For your sounds, like a song, are most heavenly sent,"
Claimed the tall and courageous young man.
"Even better than the real thing?" quizzed the demon.
"Most assuredly. Now hear my plan:"
"I'll teach you to write," the Dubliner continued,
"We can author some stories for boys,
Tales of elevation, of grace, and of mothers
whose kids disappeared in the noise."
"Unforgettable anthems, they'll burn like a fire
In the hearts of your own countrymen.
So forget about silver, or gold, or a beer;
You'll be paid for your use of a pen."
Clearly stuck in a moment he couldn't get out of,
The phantasm perpended these words.
In a short little while, he then made his decision,
Which he'd never regret afterwards.
"I'll do it!" the eidolon promised to him,
"Either with or without you, I'll try!"
"Oh, that's wonderful!" cried the man. "I'm Adam Clayton,
And l'll follow your lead, by and by."
"Just promise that you won't be bad," warned a sailor.
"I shan't," said the banshee with glee.
"As sure as my name, which is Bono," he smiled,
"I'll ne'er make Ireland ashamed of me!"
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-01 22:27:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-03-01 14:23:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-01 13:50:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha...thanks Ash, now I'm gonna call the station every day and bug the snot out of you! :)
"Our next request, "Who Are You", goes out to Method from CaptainThorns...you're listening to WMCI..."
-------------------
Haaaahahahahaha! I'm instructing all other employees to run screaming from anyone who calls and asks for AshK
=====================================================================================================
Watch it there, you never know when I might call....
*maniacal laughter*
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-03-01 14:23:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-01 13:50:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahaha...thanks Ash, now I'm gonna call the station every day and bug the snot out of you! :)
"Our next request, "Who Are You", goes out to Method from CaptainThorns...you're listening to WMCI..."
-------------------
Haaaahahahahaha! I'm instructing all other employees to run screaming from anyone who calls and asks for AshK
Submitted by drivebyasshole (user info) at 2006-03-01 11:29:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty good.
Kind of cutsie or something. Nothing like a good gimmick.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-01 08:36:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THE CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED.
Due to the fact that leaving it open might give me unfair advantage in the Shamrock Open in terms of ratings. Any reviews specifically related to the U2 contest above this point should not be counted in the final tally.
So breakfastmaster is the winner! You will receive your prize shortly.
BTW, here's the answer key:
The banshee to Dublintown came, in a flash,
Like a bullet that pierced the blue sky. BULLET THE BLUE SKY
Demanding both silver and gold 'stead of cash, SILVER AND GOLD
To vociferate one lonely cry: ONE
"A sort of homecoming is all that I want! A SORT OF HOMECOMING
This isn't too much to implore!
Just give me my due, as I still haven't found I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR
What I seem to have been looking for!"
"My desire is simple; my needs are most clear; DESIRE
And I have no mysterious ways. MYSTERIOUS WAYS
I ask only for silver and gold, and a beer,
To enjoy on this beautiful day." BEAUTIFUL DAY
Then, seizing a man as the clock ticked eleven, 11 O'CLOCK TIC TOC
The banshee ran to One Tree Hill, ONE TREE HILL
As he cast the bloke into the river below,
He declared in a voice dark and shrill:
"I'll rob you of pride, in the name of your love, PRIDE (IN THE NAME OF LOVE)
And I'll kill you like this drowning man! DROWNING MAN
Then I'll steal the names from most all of your streets, WHERE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME
Except for Smithfield and South Anne."
"Just do as I ask; you have seconds to spare SECONDS
Before I turn you into a wreck.
I'll ravage your women, your children, and homes,
And perhaps even Bert's discotheque." DISCOTHEQUE
The people of Dublin cried out in alarm,
As they puzzled o'er what they should do.
Then one fearless Irishman stood up and said,
"All I want, my dear banshee, is you." ALL I WANT IS YOU
"You've shown up on this bloody Sunday, my friend; SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY
Most unusual for one so vile.
When I look at the world, I just cannot imagine WHEN I LOOK AT THE WORLD
Life without you on our sacred isle."
Disconcerted and wide-eyed, the banshee stared at him
And scratched his chin most waringly.
The man forged, "Your laborious, deep, haunting voice,
Is the very thing that captures me."
"For your sounds, like a song, are most heavenly sent," LIKE A SONG
Claimed the tall and courageous young man.
"Even better than the real thing?" quizzed the demon. EVEN BETTER THAN THE REAL THING
"Most assuredly. Now hear my plan:"
"I'll teach you to write," the Dubliner continued,
"We can author some stories for boys, STORIES FOR BOYS
Tales of elevation, of grace, and of mothers ELEVATION; GRACE; MOTHERS OF THE DISAPPEARED
whose kids disappeared in the noise."
"Unforgettable anthems, they'll burn like a fire THE UNFORGETTABLE FIRE
In the hearts of your own countrymen.
So forget about silver, or gold, or a beer;
You'll be paid for your use of a pen."
Clearly stuck in a moment he couldn't get out of, STUCK IN A MOMENT YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF
The phantasm perpended these words.
In a short little while, he then made his decision, IN A LITTLE WHILE
Which he'd never regret afterwards.
"I'll do it!" the eidolon promised to him,
"Either with or without you, I'll try!" WITH OR WITHOUT YOU
"Oh, that's wonderful!" cried the man. "I'm Adam Clayton,
And l'll follow your lead, by and by." I WILL FOLLOW
"Just promise that you won't be bad," warned a sailor. BAD
"I shan't," said the banshee with glee.
"As sure as my name, which is Bono," he smiled,
"I'll ne'er make Ireland ashamed of me!"
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-02-28 21:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The +2 is for the poetry. If I had to rate for U2, you would
get a -666, because I don't like ANY U2 songs except "When love came to Town,"
and then only because of BB King. . . . . . .
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-28 16:16:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by breakfastmaster (user info) at 2006-02-28 15:16:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
...
What is that...? 27? I suck
==============================
Yeah, you're short three titles...they're pretty obscure ones though. So unless someone else chimes in before the round two deadlines tomorrow with all 30, I'll give you the grand prize.
Submitted by breakfastmaster (user info) at 2006-02-28 15:16:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bullet the Blue Sky
Silver and Gold
Sort of Homecoming
I still haven't found what I'm looking for
Desire
Mysterious Ways
beautiful Day
11 o' clock tic tock
One Tree Hill
Pride (in the name of love)
Drowning Man
Where the Streets Have No Name
Seconds
Discotheque
All I Want Is You
Sunday Bloody Sunday
When I Look at the World
Even Better Than the Real Thing
Elevation
Grace
Mothers of the Disappeared
The Unforgettable Fire
Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of
In a Little While
With or Without You
I Will Follow
Bad
What is that...? 27? I suck
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-02-28 14:25:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-28 11:52:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Gee, no one wants to take a stab at my "Name the U2 songs" contest? :(
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Dude, there are a LOT of them in there - I don't have that kind of time.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-28 11:52:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Gee, no one wants to take a stab at my "Name the U2 songs" contest? :(
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-27 22:23:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by LadyJay (user info) at 2006-02-27 20:35:25 (#)
Ranking: 1
v good, but banshees are female...
-------------------------------------
I know...that was the point of irony behind my story...to imply Bono's homosexuality. :p
Submitted by LadyJay (user info) at 2006-02-27 20:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wrong, they cry before you die, that's why they are so scary, you know someones gonna kick the bucket.... u know its you when you see her, shes beautiful, combing her long white hair, angelic, until she spots you and knows you're the one thats in for the bullet, she grows old, skeletal, throws her comb... the rest is history...
saw one once.. product of scary stories in a hay field with my cousins... will always think I saw one though!!
Submitted by LadyJay (user info) at 2006-02-27 20:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
v good, but banshees are female...
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-02-27 20:15:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good as always!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-02-27 15:06:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:19:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:15:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe. irish fact of the day, banshee means fairy woman.
----
Banshees are suppposed to be dead spirits who inhabit a house and cry when the people living in it die.
~~~~
From a born & bred irish woman - correct.
I'M the fairy woman
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:59:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:28:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm available in 10 minutes. Unfortunately, my calender will then be full until the year 2056.
-----------------------------
Damn!
Now THAT'S a comeback!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:46:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
high voltage - the original irish is bahn sidhe - literal translation means fairy woman.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:28:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm available in 10 minutes. Unfortunately, my calender will then be full until the year 2056.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:22:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:11:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
And another +2 for creativity, calling that prick a banshee and general IL residency dicksuckery.
--------------------------
Dicksuckery? w00t!
When can I stop by to claim my voucher?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:19:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTENTION CONTESTANTS: I miscounted. There are *30* song title references, not 31. Sorry.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:19:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:15:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe. irish fact of the day, banshee means fairy woman.
----
Banshees are suppposed to be dead spirits who inhabit a house and cry when the people living in it die.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:19:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good show
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehehe. irish fact of the day, banshee means fairy woman.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:13:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:11:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And another +2 for creativity, calling that prick a banshee and general IL residency dicksuckery.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:08:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've always said I would +2 the hell out of anything with the word "vociferate" in it.
yes, yes I did.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damnit man.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A challenge Captain? You should be happy the only thing that outdoes my knowledge of U2 is...well a lot of things.
But laziness being paramount amongst them.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:02:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seeing that reminded me of a joke I heard this morning..
Q: Whats the difference between Bono & God?
A: God doesn't walk around Dublin thinking that he's Bono..
HA HA HA HA
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-02-27 13:01:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fucking title. Thanks for whomever submitted it!
By the way - this poem has no less than 31 U2 song titles in it (verbatim and paraphrased). Five +2s on lowest rated posts to whomever finds all of them first, and lists them in order of appearance in the post.