¡Estéban! (460 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 1 on 4 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by icantsurf (View user info) at 2006-02-28 04:12:58 EST
I received a letter from Estéban, that hack that sells beginner guitar packages on late night infomercials, a while back and I would like to share it with you:
Hello Sean Owen,
This is Esteban. Esteban is happy that you have taken an interest in
my guitars. My wife told me that you called the other night, and
Esteban traced the call with my powers.
You know Sean Owen, there are few things in the world as beautiful as
the guitar. It's sound is seductive....haunting. After Esteban's
accident and after Esteban had gone through the great transformation
that has made me what Esteban is today, Esteban found that the only
sound that could subdue The Beast was the sound of the guitar. Esteban
made it my life's work to master the guitar...to tame it's wild
beauty, to become one with the guitar, much as The Beast has become
one with Esteban.
Esteban has spent many years getting to this point in time. Esteban
has overcome many hardships, not least of which is putting together
the incredible offer that you so passionately sought after the other
night. Esteban has had to fight for what Esteban believes my whole
life. Esteban has had to fight with my family and my friends, with
music critics, with record companies, with those who said "Esteban,
you are crazy. There is no way you can offer such a great deal to
people". Esteban has fought them all, and Esteban has come out of it
victorious.
Let me tell you a little story Sean Owen because Esteban can see that
you have a great passion for the guitar, just as Esteban has. After
the accident and The Beast first made his presence known to me,
Esteban fell into a great despair. Those people whom Esteban had just
mentioned, they are all dead now. The Beast had taken control, had fed
on their fear of Esteban, had fed on their shame. Esteban was
powerless to stop The Beast from taking the lives of everyone whom
Esteban loved. And it was not just their lives that The Beast had
taken. It was their spirits. Late at night Esteban can still hear the
tortured screams of those he once loved, crying and begging
forgiveness. Esteban hears this within his own spirit, and he is sad.
Esteban awoke one day and began to play his guitar. Esteban's newly
accquired powers provided him with longer, translucent and shiny
fingernails. This made it much easier for Esteban to play the music he
loved so much. Esteban also noticed that the music was a way to drown
out the eternal screams of the damned, forever suffering in limbo
within the dark prison of Esteban's tortured soul.
Esteban can imagine that you, Sean Owen, have been very moved by
Esteban's story. Of course, Esteban understands that others do not
possess the powers that Esteban does, yet our goals are the same. We
have a love of the guitar and wish to master it completely.
Esteban has enjoyed writing to Sean Owen very much and hopes that
after Sean Owen orders Esteban's guitar, he too can someday become a
master guitar player.
Bless the guitar,
E
(reposted from http://icantsurf.blogspot.com)
User Reviews
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-02-28 10:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
my dad gave me an esteban guitar.
oh, the suckiness of the untunable beast.
it's a great beach guitar, though. it sounds like a ukelele
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-02-28 09:20:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
esteban rules.
Submitted by recall (user info) at 2006-02-28 08:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
mmmmmm high school spanish.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-02-28 04:34:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Esteban - bless my guitar