Shamrock Open - The Banshee to Dublintown Came (1210 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: uber-related
Rating: 1.96 on 43 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe <fickle.muse.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-03-01 02:13:55 EST
"The following countries have closed their borders due to the terrifying and rapid spread of the Banshee virus. Travel to and from these countries is forbidden until further notice. Attempting to enter these countries will result in swift and immediate action by border guards. New Zealand, Iceland, Japan, Indonesia, Cuba, and Ireland. Due to geographical positioning, these isolated "island" countries have the best shot at keeping themselves free of the virus."
It started in some remote little place in outback Australia, and spread like a rash across the world. It could lie dormant for up to a month, but when it woke up and wanted to play the results were horrific, unnatural, and invariably fatal.
"You don't understand! She's been in London with her grandparents, I need to bring her home, she's only five, please understand."
"We're very sorry, but we can't risk bringing anyone in at this point."
"But you're leaving her there to die!"
"We're very sorry."
"Please, she's my daughter, she's all I have, please."
"Sorry."
The virus attacked the muscles and the brain, leaving the patient in agonizing cramps and with no way to stop it. The body would twist and contort into unnatural, impossible shapes, and bones could be heard snapping as the patients' arms or legs twisted, with incredible strength, into new positions. It was called the Banshee virus because of the screaming - even the most stoic of men couldn't help themselves as their bones were shattered and their muscles torn. Exhaustion or massive internal damage caused death after four or five days.
For two thousand dollars, she sponsored the guard's break, telling him she wanted to leave to be with her family. There was a boat coming for her, she said. Go have a cup of tea in the guardhouse and I'll be out of your way before you know it. At 3am she stood on the pier, cold and damp and scared, the wind whipping her hair into a mess of salty tangles as she stared, desperately hoping, at the dark ocean. The sound of oars was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard and she passed the dark figure in the boat a thick wad of banknotes as she scooped up her daughter and cradled her against her chest.
"Ireland is under full quarantine. We will be very decisive in our actions against anyone who seeks to endanger us by crossing the borders."
Sweating and cursing, she tried to pin her daughter's arm to the mattress to stop it twisting up and behind her back. The little girl sobbed through the gag, eyes streaming tears, her whole body twitching and stiffening. The arm defied every effort and slowly, inexorably, it turned and bent back, the shoulder joint popping loose as the muscles contracted and froze there.
Emily screamed, the sound muffled by the gag, and screamed again. And screamed. And her legs bent, turned, drew up against her belly and turned outwards and the wet sound the knees made as they gave under the strain was drowned out by the raw feral screeching.
"In the thirty days since quarantine began, there have been no reported cases of the Banshee virus in Ireland. We've made it. We'll survive." The crowd cheered its approval and joy and relief. Safe, ran the headlines in the paper. Newsreaders beamed as they announced the news.
And Emily's mother, who had been trying fruitlessly to straighten the limbs of the contorted tiny dead thing in her apartment, went outside for the first time in three weeks and bought a thick tarpaulin at the hardware store. She spoke to four people and was close enough to infect seven others.
And in Dublin that night, people slept safe and content for the last time.
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 22:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-02 11:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very solid take on the title.
i liked.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:32:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I really liked the story and your take on the title.
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2006-03-02 01:51:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very well done.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-02 01:08:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2006-03-02 00:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-03-02 00:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Chilling
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-03-01 22:39:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice take on a rather difficult title.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-03-01 14:35:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-03-01 14:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-03-01 10:26:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Makes me want to head down to the pub for a Guinness!
Oh wait, it's 9:22 am.
Let me repeat... makes me want to head down to the pub for a Guinness!
(Only because it's medically proven to prevent banshee virus-- 4 out of 5
dentists agree).
----------------------------
I need more green... St. P's Day is a-coming
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-03-01 14:09:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A good read with strong characterization, all despite the fact that she didn't pull a new genre from her ass.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-03-01 12:20:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-03-01 11:14:28 (#)
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-01 11:09:36 (#)
Damn. So what you're saying is, the world-ending virus is not a new genre? Really? Well, fuck. I've been living in a cae on Mars and didn't realise.
========================================================================
You catch on quickly, don't you? Does Martian water make your breasts more full and round?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Yeah, what's the big idea ripping off the Decameron like that? Uber is only for original ideas, like viruses that turn people into zombies, dystopian future visions, people who can't seem to get their acts together vis à vis the opposite sex, elaborate revenge fantasies, comic poetry, and amateur porn.
And, it's not the Martian water, it's the low gravity that works that magic on the breasts. Mmmmmmmm, space-breasts...
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-01 12:17:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dope city!
Submitted by Kopesh (user info) at 2006-03-01 12:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW....
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-03-01 11:33:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great interpretation.
Submitted by drivebyasshole (user info) at 2006-03-01 11:27:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-01 11:25:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-03-01 11:14:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-01 11:09:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn. So what you're saying is, the world-ending virus is not a new genre? Really? Well, fuck. I've been living in a cae on Mars and didn't realise.
========================================================================
You catch on quickly, don't you? Does Martian water make your breasts more full and round?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-01 11:09:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn. So what you're saying is, the world-ending virus is not a new genre? Really? Well, fuck. I've been living in a cae on Mars and didn't realise.
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-03-01 11:02:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ever seen 28 days later?
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-03-01 10:50:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A very crepy take on the title.
Can I hold your arms down on the bed? I've been good!
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-03-01 10:26:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Makes me want to head down to the pub for a Guinness!
Oh wait, it's 9:22 am.
Let me repeat... makes me want to head down to the pub for a Guinness!
(Only because it's medically proven to prevent banshee virus-- 4 out of 5
dentists agree).
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-01 10:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Terrorific.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-03-01 09:18:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DOCTOR: "Increase beatjunky's morphine drip, he's still deluded."
NURSE: "But shouldn't I bitch-slap him again? Else he won't enjoy the high before dozing off."
Doctor: "You have a point."
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-01 08:58:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-03-01 08:44:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
this was the opposite of shitty
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-01 08:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good but....lacking something.
But better than Thorns I feel.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-03-01 08:44:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was the opposite of shitty
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2006-03-01 08:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Or how about, beatjunky has come down with a case of STFU n00b and stop making assumptions about why other people have rated a post when it has sweet fuck all to do with you...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-01 07:07:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I approve completely of this use of a difficult title.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-03-01 07:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NURSE: "Dr. beatjunky is suffering from insomnia, and bonitis. Also, he seems to be down with little bitch syndrome."
DOCTOR: "Get him to O.R., STAT! Slap his bitch ass repeatedly. Dammit woman, move. This is critical!"
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2006-03-01 06:57:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-03-01 06:49:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Futurama came up with this disease first, it was called bonitis.
///
That has nothing whatsoever to do with this girl's post. There's 20+ similar or worse diseases (old and new) that take the body through worse scenarios.
Bonitis... Christ in ICU. Begone with that lame cartoon reference.
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FUCK OFF YOU STOOPID DO-GODER THE FACT THAT I DIDNT +2 HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DISEASE I JUST DIDNT THINK IT WAS WORTH A +2, ALSO IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU HOW I RATE POSTS, EXPECT A -2 BARRAGE ON YOURS CUNT FACE.
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-03-01 06:49:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Futurama came up with this disease first, it was called bonitis.
///
That has nothing whatsoever to do with this girl's post. There's 20+ similar or worse diseases (old and new) that take the body through worse scenarios.
Bonitis... Christ in ICU. Begone with that lame cartoon reference.
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2006-03-01 06:31:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked the story, just expecting more from you.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-01 06:22:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
beatjunky - never saw that one. Oh well. Chalk up another resounding failure to me.
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2006-03-01 06:19:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The body would twist and contort into unnatural, impossible shapes, and bones could be heard snapping as the patients' arms or legs twisted, with incredible strength, into new positions. It was called the Banshee virus because of the screaming
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Futurama came up with this disease first, it was called bonitis.
Fry - "Oh my god, his bonitis!"
That guy - "I was so busy being an eighties guy I forgot to cure my bonitis! My only regret is that I had bonitis"
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-03-01 04:37:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It was called the Banshee virus because of the screaming - even the most stoic of men couldn't help themselves as their bones were shattered and their muscles torn. Exhaustion or massive internal damage caused death after four or five days.
//
I read very fast. Re-reading, I see your point. I suppose the daughter's lack of wailing threw me. Now that I say that, there's certainly a line where she is screeching. Well written, so much so I'd like it to have been a bit longer (something I wanted to say in original review). But it was tidy and to the point, very well done.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-01 04:21:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Velvet Elvis - I'm not sure I understand... I mentioned the screaming a couple of times:
"It was called the Banshee virus because of the screaming - even the most stoic of men couldn't help themselves as their bones were shattered and their muscles torn."
"Emily screamed, the sound muffled by the gag, and screamed again. And screamed. And her legs bent, turned, drew up against her belly and turned outwards and the wet sound the knees made as they gave under the strain was drowned out by the raw feral screeching."
What did you mean by "You left out the screaming"?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-03-01 03:50:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
original
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-03-01 03:41:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The daughter wailing like a banshee would have been more in keeping with the folklore.
Screaming at least.
For some reason, I think purposely, you left out the most salient aspect of these mythic creatures: their screaming. Benefit of a doubt +2.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-03-01 03:13:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ENCORE!!!! ENCORE!!!
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2006-03-01 03:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!!
Submitted by vexx (user info) at 2006-03-01 02:35:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I got chills.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-01 02:18:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wowwww.....
I never pegged you as the sci-fi type....well done Lyn!