The Shamrock Open - Fuck Me I'm Irish (2091 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: competitions
Rating: 1.91 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-03-01 23:21:46 EST
Wellllllll oh
Theresa O'Grady
The wee village lady
That proper old maid-y
Has needs, dont'cha know
For in her room, shady
Her long hair all braid-y
She made it invade-y
Her gray lovin' hole,
She
Moaned
"Fuck me, I'm Irish
And between my thighs-ish
My braid will reside-ish
Till I'm spent and flushed
Fuck me, I'm Irish
I need not a guy-ish
To make me perspire-ish,
My hair is enough."
~
Sweet Mary McCarthy
Was down at the bar-thy
A man played guitar-thy
He captured her heart
Things turned all bizarre-thy
He slid a cigar-thy
Right up her fishstar-thy
And corked up a fart
She
Gasped
"Fuck you, I'm Irish
Don't slip smokes up my-rish
Tight little behind-ish
Without my ok
I bid you goodbye-ish
For you I won't cry-ish
I think this implies-ish
That you may be gay"
~
Wild Brendan O'Hara
He gave not a care-a
He'd fuck anywhere-a
And didn't care who
He'd bed wolf or bear-a
And once did a mare-a
No one could compare-a
To this twisted fool
He'd
Shout
"Fuck me, I'm Irish
My mind's gone awry-ish
It brings me a sigh-ish
But damn it feels good
To nature defy-ish
And lay an'mals wild-ish
I get almost high-ish
From sex in the woods"
~
Ms. Shannon McDougal
Did not want mens' bugles
Instead she loved boob-gals
And pussy the most.
The daisy chain grew-gal
When lezzing with two-gal
She knew what to do-gal
And made quite the host
She
Cooed
"Fuck me, I'm Irish
Of cock I've grown tired-ish
I need chicks by-the-by-ish
To keep myself pleased.
If they taste alkaline-ish
Well that suits me just fine-ish
For I love to dine-ish
On most any steeze."
~
Young Greg'ry O'Tego
Sat down by his keg-o
His skin white as eggs-o
And took off his pants
He freed his flesh peg-o
It fell 'gainst his leg-o
The ladies all begged-o
And started to dance
They
Cried
"Fuck us, we're Irish
Oh, Greg, don't deny us
Our needs are quite dire-ish
Your juice we desire
Come hose off our fire-ish
And pluck us like lyres-ish
We'll suck you quite dry-ish
You'll leave with a smile"
~
At last Bob McDunnagh
Could have him some fun-ah
For years he'd had none-ah
From service abroad
He found himself stunned-ah
Once he'd used her bum-ah
She said "I'm a nun-ah,
You've made me a bawd"
She
Purred
"Fuck me, I'm Irish
Your holy pink spire-ish
Stick deep in my pie-ish
Let's go one more time
My vows I'll decry-ish
If once more you'll try-ish
To tremble my thighs-ish
And fill my behind."
~
Young Carol McGreggor
That drunk ham & egger
Threw many a kegger
And had him a time
His cash gone, McGreggor
Wound up a poor beggar
He'd lick workmen's peggers
For money for wine
He
Hawked
"Fuck me, I'm Irish
Your dough I require-ish
I'll suck you vampire-ish
If you've got the cash
You all might inquire-ish
If my butt's for hire-ish
My state is so dire-ish
That I'll sell my ass."
~
And Margaret McFadden
She loved the young lads-den
Though they called it a fad-den
She loved their wee forms
She spanked them when bad-den
She was scantily clad when
The police paddywagon
Stopped outside her home.
She
Begged
"Fuck me, I'm Irish
Young boys are desire-ish
Though I have drawn your ire-ish
My reason I'll lend:
Their adulthood is nigh-ish
Yes, they'll soon grow quite spry-ish
I can't help it if my wish
Is to turn boys to men."
~
Jim "Barnburner" Coglin
Had a girl suck his log-lin
With his eyes tricked by grog-lin
He thought her a beaut.
He awoke from his fog-lin
And his mem'ry did jog-lin
Then at last his eyes saw-glin
She was two times a deuce.
He
Wailed
"Fuck me, I'm Irish
And my sips too inspire-ish
God above has conspired-ish
To stop me to drink.
For you're huge, you're not wire-ish
And my eyes they were liar-ish
You've got sixteen spare tires-ish
I don't know what to think."
~
Brave Fintan McBryelic
Was known far and wide-ick
As someone who died-ick
In hon'rable form
He took his new bride-ick
He spread her legs wide-ick
Applied Astroglide-ick
And felt her grow warm
He slid deep inside-ick
Their bits did collide-ick
They went for a ride-ick
But she wanted more
Again his one eye-ick
Plunged deep in her hide-ick
For more she still cried-ick
This virgin turned whore
He humped and he tried-ick
Hours more did he slide-ick
In and out her behind-ick
Till his heart grew sore
They fucked there outside-ick
The stars as their guide-ick
Her twin lips he'd divide-ick
Yet still she cried more
After twelve hours' time-ick
His heart failed, he died-ick
But he passed with his pride-ick
As he fell to the floor
He
Sighed
"Fuck me, I'm Irish
And in you I've shot fire which
Means soon you'll bear my-rish
Children into the world
Your needs I admire-ish
Cock sure makes you smile-ish
It's sad I must die-ish
You're my kind of girl"
~
In Ireland the kissing
Is worth not a piss-ing
Do that and you're missing
The true Irish luck
Just find you a miss-ing
Or a mister amiss-ing
They'll show you the bliss-ing
Of a real Irish fuck.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:12:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-03 23:52:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And which one WAS it, CB?
(For research purposes, of course.)
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-03-03 22:41:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I've only read one Orgasmatron post that hasn't entertained me. This was not it.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-03-02 23:04:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've been avoiding the Shamrock Open since I caught Slainte a couple weeks ago.
This was good though. I wasn't expecting much with a title that makes me want to kill baby deer, but it came out nicely.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-03-02 22:48:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you are disturbed in the funny endearing way.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-02 22:30:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just train the intern and stop killing our accountants (Rating: 1.95 on 58 reviews, last by ampersand 3 hours ago)
Submitted by HighVoltage900 [Authenticated] (View user info) at 2006-03-02 10:24:57
The Shamrock Open - Fuck Me I'm Irish (Rating: 1.9 on 44 reviews, last by Susie_Derkins 3 hours ago)
Submitted by Orgasmatron [Authenticated] (View user info) at 2006-03-01 23:21:46
Forgiven (Rating: 1.9 on 19 reviews, last by Snark 53 minutes ago)
Submitted by Sacrilicious [Authenticated] (View user info) at 2006-03-02 16:47:58
=============
Damn, you guys..can I get on top JUST ONCE?
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 19:00:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No worries, dear one
I know you kid me 'cause you love
My poetry compares not to yours
I thought I'd give it a try, dove
I'm not bitter and bear no ill to you
I am flattered you were impressed
I enjoyed myself thoroughly this aft
Even though we were both dressed
The boring Thursday afternoon has passed
We bantered back and forth to kill time
Got some Uber users all hot and bothered
It was a good repartee, yours and mine
Until the next time, dear Orgasmatron
I bid you adieu and for now goodbye
The next time we meet, I'll have at that flute
Just try to keep it out of my eye.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 17:23:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Come let's be friends, for you know that I jest
That I played with you to pass the hours
Your comment I changed to a curse to build drama
And add fuel to this battle, ours
A worthy opponent you were in the end
Considering that I hoodwinked you
But don't leave here thinking me hateful or cruel
Just because I had a bear rape you
You held your own, Derkins, now you can hold mine
Feel free to have at my skinflute
For you owe me some suckin', so pay me in full
And in time on your face I will shoot
You're only a whore if you streetwalk for me
And you understand I am your pimp
So put on that outfit I told you to wear
If you do there's no way I'll go limp
We'll rut and we'll tumble from evening to dawn
Humping till we collapse and expire
Then we'll both die from smoke inhalation because
Of the heat from our genitals' fire
The headlines will read "two poor victims found dead
Burned alive by their fucking's hot flames"
But together, in heaven, we'll boom-boom longtime
With the angels all singing our names.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 16:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry HV, it's almost five and I'm out of creativity. If he cares to continue tomorrow, I'll try my best. I liked the scene you set though, very nice.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-02 16:37:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh please don't tell me I typed all that and now your quitting....
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-02 16:34:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thunder claps overhead and the people in the crowds winced at the noise. A tempest was raging overhead pelting the onlookers with hard rain but no one was going to leave. No one would dare move from their seat lest someone else take it.
This was the event to see.
Emperor HighVoltage looked out over the arena from his covered stadium box and smiled. It was a great turnout, but one would expect that for such an event. Getting up from his chair and making his way to the edge of his box, he cleared his voice and then cried out for all to hear.
"CITIZENS OF ROME! YOU ARE TO WITNESS A MOST DAZZLING SPECTACLE THE LIKES OF WHICH HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE!" His politician's voice was powerful and echoed across the acoustically designed stadium, barely heard over the raging storm overhead.
"WE HAVE THE CHALLENGER, AND THE CHAMPION! READY TO SPILL THEIR METAPHORIC BLOOD FOR YOU TODAY!" With this the crowd let out a deafening roar that took several minutes to die down.
"WE HAVE FROM THE NORTH, A MAN OF POWER AND SKILL! HIS EXPERIENCE UNMATCHED, AND HIS NAME KNOWN FROM CARTHAGE TO PARIS TO CONSTANTINOPLE! THE REIGNING CHAMPION...ORGASMATRON!" And with that signal the champion Orgasmatron stepped into the arena glad in his finest gladiatorial armor, the crowd roaring his name and women throwing small coins at him from above.
Once the buzz had died down again, Emperor HighVoltage spoke again.
"BUT HE IS NOT ALONE! FROM THE FERTILE WATERS OF THE GREEK ISLES, WE HAVE A WOMAN OF AGILITY AND CUNNING! A WOMAN WHO IS KNOWN FOR HER TONGUE, IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!" At this comment a brief spill of laughter rippled through the crowd. "SHE IS HERE TO DETHRONE OUR CHAMPION, WHO MUST BE WARY LEST HE LOSE HIS PLACE IN HISTORY TO THE BETTER OF THE TWO!"
As Susie Derkins stepped through her stone archway and onto the arena floor the men in the crowd became extra vocal, roaring of her beauty and lithe grace.
The two gladiators stood, naught but a hundred feet away from each other. The roaring crowd behind them and the gods own eyes watching through the turbulance of the darkened sky.
"AND NOW!" Emperor HighVoltage cried out...
"THE BATTLE BEGINS!"
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 16:26:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, Orgasmo, you do cut me to the quick
I have offended you and you have turned insulting
It started with a slip of the tongue
Your poetry and wordplay I was exhalting
The wrong word was used, and I proclaim'd myself dumb
You assuaged my fears with words gentle and sweet
All I was to do, to make amends with you
Was to accept your offer and take your meat
We volleyed back and forth
I was being set up, I was unaware
I thought we were done and even
And you bring in a BEAR??
I retort as best I could while under attack
Hunched o'er my desk and my keyboard
At the end of my sad offering, I know I am beat
I read your response and you call me a whore
I bow to you, O dear Machine of Pleasure
Here, have another trophy to put on your shelf
If I may offer a suggestion as I take my leave
And ask you to perform an anotomical impossibility upon yourself.
Well done, Orgasmatron. This was a fun way to kill time on a boring afternoon.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 16:10:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMFG ORGASMATRON JUST GOT POETRY PWNED!!!!!1!!!!11!!!111!11!1113!11!!!!
---------------------------------------------------
HV, you're very kind. But I think it's the other way around, unfortunately. All my base are belong to him.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 16:09:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You think death the end to our battle infernal?
Well just think again, love, our war is eternal:
I'll follow you down to the hot pits of hell
Where malcontents burn and the sinners all dwell
And find you there, shakin' your ass on the corner
Just like you did here on earth before your former
Life ended and you couldn't turn tricks no more
I'm sorry I cut short your life as a whore
But in death we turn into our ideal selves
So it's likely that you'd want the best for yourself
Which explains the fur coat and the leopard-print dress
Though it doesn't explain why your hair's such a mess
Then it hits me, those demons, they love to get rough
When they pay for a throw and make chickenheads cluck
Yes, your eyes both mascara-run, puffy and painted
Your nose slighty brown from close calls with their taints and
I see when you walk your bow legs bear a hitch
I guess they hellfucked you both that way and this
But that's nothing compared to what I'm bound to do
To ensure retribution and hear "sorry" too
Let's just say we'll start with a pitchfork and nails
And maybe two gallons of sperm from a whale
And fetuses, wriggling and warm to the touch
And maybe the plastic tip found on a crutch
This I know, there'll be blood, there'll be screaming, oh yes
For in wetworks I'm known as the best of the best
I won't stop 'til you're quartered and I hold your heart
I'm coming, my dear...but here, have a head start.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-02 15:59:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 15:42:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus, that went in a bad direction
And I won't stand for your insurrection
The bear, once he was through
Turned his attention onto you
After you'd laughed yourself into a tizzy
The bear saw his opening with you all dizzy
From the lager you had pour'd down the hatch
You realised too late that you'd met your match
You threw your beer can as he advanced
But your sweet ass has him entranced
Nothing will deter him from more buttsecks
Not even the pile of chunky flecks
After you'd thrown up in fright on the floor
And futilely made your way to the door
As the bear seizes you by the hips
A scream escapes your lips
And the sound that you hear
As you shake in fear
Is my maniacal giggling
at the sight of you wriggling
I take my leave of you, my dear violated fellow
I've had my fun and now I'm all mellow
My latest attempt at poetry, it did suck
But at this point in the day I don't give a fuck.
----
OMFG ORGASMATRON JUST GOT POETRY PWNED!!!!!1!!!!11!!!111!11!1113!11!!!!
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 15:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus, that went in a bad direction
And I won't stand for your insurrection
The bear, once he was through
Turned his attention onto you
After you'd laughed yourself into a tizzy
The bear saw his opening with you all dizzy
From the lager you had pour'd down the hatch
You realised too late that you'd met your match
You threw your beer can as he advanced
But your sweet ass has him entranced
Nothing will deter him from more buttsecks
Not even the pile of chunky flecks
After you'd thrown up in fright on the floor
And futilely made your way to the door
As the bear seizes you by the hips
A scream escapes your lips
And the sound that you hear
As you shake in fear
Is my maniacal giggling
at the sight of you wriggling
I take my leave of you, my dear violated fellow
I've had my fun and now I'm all mellow
My latest attempt at poetry, it did suck
But at this point in the day I don't give a fuck.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-02 15:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man...that's some hot cyberpoetry...
*ejaculates*
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-02 15:13:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Susie has become something all the more desireable for me.
It just took another man to get it out of her.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 15:12:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 14:47:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 14:23:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
Make of your twin lips a bullseye
The base, red with lipstick, means you're doing fine
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
In minutes I'll blow and I'll make your face shine
And 'cause I'm a money shot guy
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
Make of your twin lips a bullseye
--------------------------------------------
Turning your attention to my silken slit
Gently teasing the awaiting clit
My breathing, which had been steady and slow
Now shortens and quickens while in the throes
The rushing in my ears a roaring thunder
While clutching my clothes that you'd torn asunder
Now tired and spent, this body you did tap
Has drifted off into a blissful nap
---
At last, you're asleep, I can now have my way
You think that my tonguelashing you can repay
For your thoughtless transgression
Your insult that lessened
The words that I slaved o'er and wrote yesterday?
How dare you think this was a mutual affair
Your sucking was payment for kicking me right where
It hurts the most, right in my lyrical jollies
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DEEPTHROAT TO MY BALL-IES
Not lay back and offer your bald, harelipped clam
I was the one wronged, it was I, the wronged man!
But now that you're napping, I say nevermind
I can bind your wrists, ankles and smear your behind
With a mixture of honey
Slapped all o'er your cunny
To mix with your juices while you sleep closed-eyed
I'll open the backdoor and let in a bear
Who'd savored the fresh scent of sweets in the air
He'll lumber in, find you there splayed out and open
And lick your box longtime 'fore he starts to pokin'
For see, I'll have left a black pelt on your back
To encourage the bear in his anal attack
Then I'll kick back and open a beer as I watch
How the animal takes your peg down one big notch
You'll likely soon wake once the bear dick starts rockin'
You'll open your mouth but I won't hear you talkin'
For oh, I'll be laughing so loud I'll go deaf
As I watch you get slowly bear assfucked to death.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-02 15:03:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-03-02 14:52:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
I've heard of cybering, but that is a whole new breed of animal.
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Yes. More, please. And faster.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-03-02 15:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
quite involved dirty little rhyme
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-03-02 14:52:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've heard of cybering, but that is a whole new breed of animal.
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Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-02 14:51:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 14:23:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 13:56:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
A lim'rick this wasn't, dear Susie
Each section had one line too fewsie
The beat, off, was lame
But thanks all the same
For reading and for your plus twosie.
-------------------------------------------------------------
My apologies to you, Orgasmatron
My ignorance is plain to see
Be it limerick, ode or lyric poem
It all reads the same to me.
---
Fair enough, feminemisis of Hobbes and Calvin
You're not ignorant, keep your 'pology hushed
Just take down your pants and present your she-mouth and
Let me have my way with you till your skin's flushed
---------------------------------------
Your offer is tempting, O Machine of Pleasure
I surrender myself to do with as you please
Your skills as a poet and lover have no equal
Your artful words have brought me to my knees
---
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
Make of your twin lips a bullseye
The base, red with lipstick, means you're doing fine
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
In minutes I'll blow and I'll make your face shine
And 'cause I'm a money shot guy
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
Make of your twin lips a bullseye
------
it's like watching a tennis match.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 14:47:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 14:23:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
Make of your twin lips a bullseye
The base, red with lipstick, means you're doing fine
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
In minutes I'll blow and I'll make your face shine
And 'cause I'm a money shot guy
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
Make of your twin lips a bullseye
--------------------------------------------
Turning your attention to my silken slit
Gently teasing the awaiting clit
My breathing, which had been steady and slow
Now shortens and quickens while in the throes
The rushing in my ears a roaring thunder
While clutching my clothes that you'd torn asunder
Now tired and spent, this body you did tap
Has drifted off into a blissful nap
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 14:23:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 13:56:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
A lim'rick this wasn't, dear Susie
Each section had one line too fewsie
The beat, off, was lame
But thanks all the same
For reading and for your plus twosie.
-------------------------------------------------------------
My apologies to you, Orgasmatron
My ignorance is plain to see
Be it limerick, ode or lyric poem
It all reads the same to me.
---
Fair enough, feminemisis of Hobbes and Calvin
You're not ignorant, keep your 'pology hushed
Just take down your pants and present your she-mouth and
Let me have my way with you till your skin's flushed
---------------------------------------
Your offer is tempting, O Machine of Pleasure
I surrender myself to do with as you please
Your skills as a poet and lover have no equal
Your artful words have brought me to my knees
---
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
Make of your twin lips a bullseye
The base, red with lipstick, means you're doing fine
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
In minutes I'll blow and I'll make your face shine
And 'cause I'm a money shot guy
While down there and kissing my dangle divine
Make of your twin lips a bullseye
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 13:56:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 13:26:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 12:52:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 11:49:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
A lim'rick this wasn't, dear Susie
Each section had one line too fewsie
The beat, off, was lame
But thanks all the same
For reading and for your plus twosie.
-------------------------------------------------------------
My apologies to you, Orgasmatron
My ignorance is plain to see
Be it limerick, ode or lyric poem
It all reads the same to me.
---
Fair enough, feminemisis of Hobbes and Calvin
You're not ignorant, keep your 'pology hushed
Just take down your pants and present your she-mouth and
Let me have my way with you till your skin's flushed
---------------------------------------
Your offer is tempting, O Machine of Pleasure
I surrender myself to do with as you please
Your skills as a poet and lover have no equal
Your artful words have brought me to my knees
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-03-02 13:51:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF-ish, I'm not reading all that!
actually, I did.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 13:26:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 12:52:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 11:49:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
A lim'rick this wasn't, dear Susie
Each section had one line too fewsie
The beat, off, was lame
But thanks all the same
For reading and for your plus twosie.
-------------------------------------------------------------
My apologies to you, Orgasmatron
My ignorance is plain to see
Be it limerick, ode or lyric poem
It all reads the same to me.
---
Fair enough, feminemisis of Hobbes and Calvin
You're not ignorant, keep your 'pology hushed
Just take down your pants and present your she-mouth and
Let me have my way with you till your skin's flushed
Submitted by Spacegrass (user info) at 2006-03-02 13:03:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good show. I bet this is how Shel Silverstein would have written had he done coke instead of acid.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 12:52:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 11:49:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
A lim'rick this wasn't, dear Susie
Each section had one line too fewsie
The beat, off, was lame
But thanks all the same
For reading and for your plus twosie.
-------------------------------------------------------------
My apologies to you, Orgasmatron
My ignorance is plain to see
Be it limerick, ode or lyric poem
It all reads the same to me.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 12:23:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-02 12:09:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you gay? sorry, I asked that out loud didn't I? Twosie? Damn.
---
I am a slave to the rhyme, not the penos.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-02 12:18:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bwhahahahahhaha-ish
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-02 12:09:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you gay? sorry, I asked that out loud didn't I? Twosie? Damn.
This was funny and good and even though you are knocking me out I commend you on a fine effort.
PSA: to read O-man's competitor's (Mine) piece please follow this link: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84708
Feel free to linkwhore your own if you like though it's not like you're needing any help to push me out. bastard.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-02 11:49:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-02 11:29:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't worry. He hit me too.
---
Aces.
(I don't think he likes us. I fear I may weep.)
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 11:37:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Quality limerick
---
A lim'rick this wasn't, dear Susie
Each section had one line too fewsie
The beat, off, was lame
But thanks all the same
For reading and for your plus twosie.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-02 11:37:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Quality limerick
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-02 11:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-01 23:59:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Always nice to see you stop by, Wild.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-03-01 23:55:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
weak sauce
----
Don't worry. He hit me too.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-02 10:57:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it really picked up midways or so.
perfect i say.
damn you.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-03-02 09:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I looooved this!
She
Cooed
"Fuck me, I'm Irish"
Especially those parts.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:52:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Genius! I liked it a lot.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:51:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, O-Man...
This is obviously far below your usual standard of writing.
And would have been a solid 1.5, simply because it was amusing.
But then I got down to the "Carol McGregor" stanza...
I WORK WITH A CAROL MCGREGOR.
You fucking dick. You made me snort Mountain Dew out of my nose when I read that.
Marry me?
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:05:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
I liked the general rhythm of the thing. Good Irishness.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-02 06:16:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantast-ick
Submitted by LadyJay (user info) at 2006-03-02 00:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
liked it, had me swayin' as I drank my guiness with whiskey chaser... bring on paddys day!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-02 00:01:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Something about you makes me want to drink and sway and engage in debauchery.
It's a rare condition known as rhyming lust.
There's no known cure, and I like it that way.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-01 23:59:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Always nice to see you stop by, Wild.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-03-01 23:55:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
weak sauce
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2006-03-01 23:46:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Submitted by bonnee (user info) at 2006-03-01 23:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it kicked ass
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-01 23:35:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-01 23:23:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe I hit 'submit.'
I couldn't have been less inspired by this title. I blame Voltage, really.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Are you out of your mind? This was brilliant. I want to sing this next time I drink Guinness.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-01 23:25:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ms. Shannon McDougal
Did not want mens' bugles
-----------------------------------
Bitch.