I Bring You, The Future! (623 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.4 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by beatjunky <prez_ident.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-03-02 06:20:23 EST
In the not so distant future I shall be King and I shall rule your asses on a throne of enlightenment and with a sceptre of instant displeasurement, for so it has been decreed by God himself.
God did speak to me one evening from on high, and he said "Chris, you may not be my true son like Jesus or Hitler but I have come to think of you in that way."
I replied un to him "Oh mighty Lord, I see you also as my father and wish for us to make things from wood and nails together."
Our conversation lasted well into the night and I do not want to bore YOU, my soon to be peon subjects, with the entire script, besides most of it will be too philosophical for you to understand. So I have created a list of changes that will happen when I am King:
I will be referred to only as "The King Of The Jews"
Existing taxes will go down - HUZZAH!
*Note New taxes will come into place to cope with existing tax cuts
Immigration will be judged solely on how good looking you are
*Note Men need not apply
I shall judge all trials and there shall be no need for juries.
Children will be shipped away to Romania where nannies will look after them until they are ready to be functioning members of society.
Anyone not +2ing my posts on Ubersite shall be struck down with my sceptre of displeasurement.
*Note SPT & APW will be outlawed and the instigators executed.
It will be mandatory for musicians to take mind altering drugs.
I will not be a fair King, my reign should be remember not as a time of fluffy rabbits and wealthy pensioners but as a time of misfortune and begrudgery. I shall strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my regime, and you shall know my name as the lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
Only a few shall be favoured, those who show extraordinary love for me.
*Note Men need not apply.
I have spaces for close advisors, poets, that sort of thing. Also concubines.
*Note Men need not apply.
I shall commission a grand palace made of solid gold, outside there will be a 500ft statue of me also made of solid gold. Ye peons shall build said things and I shall pay you a pittance.
God will rule at my side although he will not be as powerful as me. He will be responsible smiting my enemies and running my overcrowded prison system. He will find me minions to do my bidding who will serve for a minimum of 2 years and will then be entered into my deminionisation program to integrate them pack into peasantry.
I will be changing the name of Earth to Alpha uno because I think it sounds cool.
I know all of this may be difficult to take in but I think you need to be prepared now while there can be an adjustment period. Thank you for your loyalty.
User Reviews
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-03-13 10:50:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-03 17:52:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2006-03-02 10:20:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't think this deserved -2's.
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WELCOME TO UBARSITE1111!!!1!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-02 10:56:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
not so good.
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2006-03-02 10:20:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't think this deserved -2's.
Submitted by everett3 (user info) at 2006-03-02 09:12:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
lame
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:36:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:25:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:20:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
Anyone not +2ing my posts on Ubersite shall be struck down with my sceptre of displeasurement.
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Bring it, you worthless fairy.
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Pwned, by a noob no less.
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Ahaha. I've been drinking.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:25:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
you suck hard
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:25:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:20:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
Anyone not +2ing my posts on Ubersite shall be struck down with my sceptre of displeasurement.
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Bring it, you worthless fairy.
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Pwned, by a noob no less.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:20:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Anyone not +2ing my posts on Ubersite shall be struck down with my sceptre of displeasurement.
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Bring it, you worthless fairy.
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2006-03-02 08:06:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont believe in SPT or any of your stoopid rules, blow me
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-03-02 07:01:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think you forgot to label this SPT.
Submitted by DrKlepto (user info) at 2006-03-02 06:48:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
0 - because it is I who shall be king of Alpha Uno, erm, earth! So I must smite thee mighty smighter.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-02 06:34:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm