The Adventures of The Sammich and The Pickle (742 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.83 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by S R (View user info) at 2006-03-03 13:28:20 EST
The Sammich woke up earlier than usual on this Sunday Morning. Usually his buddy the Pickle is up watching his morning Jackie Chan movie, but he had not gotten up yet.
Therefore the Sammich decided to make breakfast for both of them as a nice gesture for the splendid dinner the pickle made the night before. The Sammich decided to make his special Apple strudel à la Vache. As the Sammich set the table realized that the Pickle still hadn't gotten up to watch Jackie Chan fight the evil carrots of Nexon 56. So he went to go check his room.
The Sammich found the room empty with only a note left in the middle of the oval shaped room, which read:
Dearest Sammich,
I do not hold you responsible for my leaving but you leave me no choice. I could not dare tell you face to face, as I know it would be a bad scene. I decided I needed a change in my life and am not going to tell you where I am going because I know you will follow. Please respect my decision and I am sorry for the candlestick incident but hopefully the wax will melt in the summer. Good-bye dear friend and good luck.
-The Pickle
This letter confused the Sammich because the Pickle seemed real happy with their arrangement. He's and sammich and he's a pickle it was a great combo. His emotions rose so high he had to change his mayonnaise, his lettuce became soggy and he couldn't control his mustard run-off. That's when the Sammich noticed a little brown spot on the edge of the note.
'What's this? Peanut Butter' he said to himself.
He knew right away that the Pickle was in trouble. His ex Shelly must have gotten to him. She had fallen in with a bad crowd after her stint with the Sammich. She met the wrapper Milky Sway and his big long black chocolate bar. She has never turned back from the dark side.
He saw the ring on the floor from the pickles jar. It was still moist. He must not be far. But what would Shelly and Milky Sway want form the Pickle? He kept thinking to himself. So he decided to hit the streets and see what people know. First he met with a real jerk. But Beef Jerky knew his shit.
'Yeah I saw 'em, Pickle didn't look happy though.'
'Really where were they headed?' the Sammich exclaimed.
'I'm pretty sure I saw 'em head into the salad bar.'
He couldn't figure out how pickles went with chocolate or peanuts but he had to make his move and the Sammich was off in search of his good friend the Pickle.
Stayed tuned for more Adventures of the Sammich and the Pickle...
The Sammich used his lettuce to get into the salad bar. Little did the bouncing Radish know.
As soon as the Sammich got inside he saw Shelly. 'That little tramp' he thought. 'She's her shell is wide open and she's exposing both her nuts.' Memorized by the sight the Sammich didn't notice the Pickle being taken to the back room.
Right behind the Sammich a large portly round egg came in. He rolled right passed the Sammich towards Shelly and Milky Sway.
'You got the goods?' he asks Sway.
'Yeah I do, Mr. Dumpty, You got the cash?' Sway responds.
'I wanna see him first, I need this he'll be our flavour of the month.' Mr. Dumpty, Shelly and Milky Sway all laugh at his bad joke.
Choose your own Adventure...
A-the Sammich should spray them with hot mustard and attempt to free the Pickle
B-The Sammich should wait for the trade and then ambush Mr. Dumpty by rolling him up in a carpet throwing him off a bridge
C-The Sammich should go under cover as a badly wrapped store bought hoagie
User Reviews
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-04 05:25:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The hell... 20 minutes to happy hour? I can't figure anything out today. My watch says it's the first of March, so I think that's wrong and I'm not sure what day this was posted, but where I am it's 11:30 am. And I thought it is Friday. I am fucked up. So fucking hungover...
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-03 18:18:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Milky Sway"
Word.
C! - I used to love those books.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-03 17:05:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-03-03 16:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
20 minutes until happy hour... wooooooooooo1
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-03 16:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
D - I eat them both, with a side of fava beans and a nice key-anti....FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-03-03 16:37:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Sammich
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-03 15:58:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cé
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-03 15:58:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
C
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-03-03 15:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
C!!
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-03-03 14:49:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
B....
Submitted by Spacegrass (user info) at 2006-03-03 14:16:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
C
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:59:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
C
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:50:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B - fuck Dumpty bastard up!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:41:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
b.
milky sway and his long chocolate bar made me laugh.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And another. Why not.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:37:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great, now I've fucked up the rating.
Sorry.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
drink*
See what I mean.
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
C
I need to get myself a frink too. Just over an hour to go. :)
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:31:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
drugs are bad, m'kay?
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-03-03 13:29:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh god... Happy Hour is only 3 hours and 31 minutes away... I badly need a drink.