Uberhistory: Uber's Peak Times, '04 (nsfw) (7222 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetLabels: Uber-related/Bandwagon
Rating: 1.55 on 162 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl (View user info) at 2006-03-06 09:25:47 EST
Uber's Childhood - '99-'00: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84645
pUBERty - '01-'02: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84700
Uber Loses It's Virginity - '03: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84763
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2004 (Posts 21863 through 55642)
2004 was in the eyes of some a high point of Uber. There were intelligent discussions, hilarious posts, original and creative users, and attention from outside Uber. There was a great influx of posts and registered members, and Uber went through some beneficial changes. The Uberboard was invented, allowing anyone to put up a message at a cost, and anonymous comments were forbidden. The very first Uberboard message, somehow posted mere seconds after Bart actually implemented it, said as follows: "Naked pictures of my 8 year old daughter."
Method really is on here 24/7.
An email was then sent from Bart to Method saying "What the fuck is wrong with you?", to which Method replied "My bad, homo."
The very first uberboard message was taken down soon after, as soon as Bart figured out how to actually take it down. He had never had to do it before, obviously.
In the eyes of others, 2004 was bad. The reason anonymous comments were blocked was because of spammers and trolls like Koolmang and Fetish. There was drama, shitposts, Vermin, and rape, both literal and figurative. ProfessorFuckFace was banned and came back, as was Koolmang and other trolls. Gibberish died (?), following rumors from a certain user, StonedSilly.
Incidentally, this was around the time StonedSilly's mom signed up to Ubersite, becoming the first MIWF (mom I wouldn't fuck) http://www.ubersite.com/m/40587. And then there was Kristen. Ah, Kristen. What can be said about Kristen that we don't already know? Let's not forget, she is THE reason for Eric Rice's existence on ubersite. http://www.ubersite.com/u/kristen.
And then it all came to a crashing halt http://www.ubersite.com/m/42964.
...and Lojope was raped...pass it on.
The first bad sign was on January 14, when I Have a Kristen Fetish signed up to Ubersite. If there could be a more hated man, I've yet to see him. Fetish spent most of his early posts hitwhoring his way to hundreds of thousands of hits and trying to hit on the Uber-wenches, unsuccessfully.
Some drama began when a new user, Lord of the Post http://www.ubersite.com/u/lordofthepost created a series called Uberia 1/17 http://www.ubersite.com/m/23306 that chronicled the lives of Lord Bart and the Uberites, his trusted servants and warriors. However, Razor saw this as a direct copy of his idea from UberPulp http://www.ubersite.com/m/13355 some months before.
The idea of Uberpulp was that the characters of Uber were starring in a pulp detective novel, and Lord of the Posts was that they were set in a medieval era; Razor felt this an infringement on his creative rights and posted Dear Lord of the Post: Fuck You 3/3 http://www.ubersite.com/m/26865. It was posted to mixed reviews; most people (whataefag, Phinch) saw Razor being defensive and unfair, while it was only Firefly who agreed with Razor. It set off a bit of drama, and Lord of the Post eventually discontinued his series - after a year.
Phinch posted his much referred-to Bitch, Moan, Sigh 1/27/04 http://www.ubersite.com/m/24173; in other threads, other users got in trouble at their jobs or in their relationships due to their posts on Uber. After being begged over and over again to let people delete their posts and reviews, Bart replied with a long post: Deleting Things 2/19/04 http://ubersite.com/m/25979. In the discussion that followed, it was decided that for freedom of speech and liability reasons, there would be no deletion of posts.
JMG scored his first major hit with Beware the Clitoris Ring on 2/23/04 http://ubersite.com/m/26219. Tom posted his now-famous and plagiarized all over the internet Exploiting peer to peer networking: I have lost all faith with humanity 4/5/04, http://www.ubersite.com/m/29438. It is always showing up on other forums, and is one of Uber's crown jewels.
The first Ubermadness started up in April 2004, fueling the myth that Ubersite was a serious writers' forum. This myth was soon broken by Zakalwe, registered 5/8/04, who posted nothing but porn for a year until getting banned. The young Scotsman had a fine taste, and posted beautiful pictures of the unclothed female form, most prominently Luba, an object of his desire.
Though Uber was thriving under its many new users and benevolent dictator, there was a user called Gascs who rebelled against the Creator. In Ubersite's next evolution, 6/3/04 http://www.ubersite.com/m/34913, Gascs announced the creation of his new website, http://www.pulsehead.com, created from the stolen source code of Ubersite. Though Bart reluctantly approved this project, Gascs was met with the bile of Uber, and denounced as a traitor
Pulsehead is nowhere now. There's about five posts a day, which is around where Uber was in the beginning. Due to the lack of an outlet like Bored@Work, it is not expected that Pulsehead will grow. The users are either on Uber as well, or just trolls.
Comicbookguy signed up on 6/4/2004, and began regaling the internet with his tales of Indian shenanigans and such. He joined Kracka as one of the few dark-skinned Uberusers. Enraged Baboon became an interesting troll when he posted Bart is a Fucking Queer 6/25/04 http://www.ubersite.com/m/36749.
One of Ubersite's unwanted brushes with the outside world occurred when Tom Sorrell posted Blink-182s lead singer hit me in the face with a water bottle on 6/15/04 http://www.ubersite.com/m/35873. Due to the amount of hits it garnered, it attracted google hits from people looking up Blink-182, and many fans of the band came and argued/flamed Tom's post due to his dismissal of the group.
It became a battle between the well-known registered users and a plethora of Random Joe anonymous comments from Blink-182 fans, and the post was even noted on forums at http://blink182.com. Yeesh. Goes to show you, you gotta stay away from those Blink fans. They're hardcore.
A new level in alter was registered on 6/21/04, with LittleMiss69, a young lady who talked in nothing but AOL speak, and found nothing on Ubersite but hatred and revulsion. She was quite a popular alter for a while, but after claiming that she was dying of cancer Gibberish had given to her, she was banned. Sorry Method.
Another one of Method's alters was the 10,000th user, Anti-Bart, who on July 4th (just a coincidence) posted http://ubersite.com/m/37509, one of the greatest pieces of wit on Uber. However, Method forgot to log out and revealed himself as the creator. Method engaged in a lot of Uber-shenanigans that summer, the greatest being Always Let a Fat Man Burn 7/08/04, http://www.ubersite.com/m/37922. By writing a script to automatically +2 his post and placing it on the Uberboard, he received over 600 reviews and +2s from unsuspecting users, including Bart himself. This type of loophole was soon fixed, but Method gets credit for trying.
Let Christ into your life and abolish fags or burn in hell http://www.ubersite.com/m/37725 was the title of a long-winded post by Christian evangelist JeremiahC on 7/7/04. Disgusted by people like Habeeb, Squattail and Shitfuck who always seemed to be doing non-Christian things, JeremiahC told us all to repent or burn in hell. We didn't. He was an alter in the end, as usual.
Another Uber classic: Mary Kate Olsen doing crack pic, by Patrick 7/14 http://www.ubersite.com/m/38407. Uber took great joy in spamming this loser. It is now on the worst-ever list, where it deserves to be.
Gibberish turned MS Paint into an art form that summer with posts showcasing his heart, such as his masterpiece I Am the Unholy Master of MS Paint 7/15/04 http://ubersite.com/m/38520. While Habeeb had only done cartoonish pornography, Gibberish proved himself to be an unholy master by creating ten feet of pop culture mayhem. Another classic post from this era was Rizzo's 7/15/04 I popped a boner...all I got was this lousy t-shirt http://www.ubersite.com/m/38540.
Due to Squattail's insatiable flaming and trolling, he was banned in late July, but soon signed up for another account 8/11/04, ProfessorFuckFace, and posting the exact same kind of material, only better and more refined. While Squattail veered more toward Goatse and NSFW pornography, ProfessorFuckFace had a more delicate method of trolling, and infinitely more humorous.
Shlongy signed up 8/2/04, and Tigerilly the next day. Uber would never be the same with the two of them around. Jack McCallum came on 8/16, and Adamdidit2u on 8/30. In August 2004, Ubermadness II took place, and I believe Jack McCallum won...? My research is incomplete in that section.
And then it happened, the post that started it all, responsible for innumerable bannings, hit-reductions, and removals from MVA, as well as the loss of respect for humanity.
On 8/3/04 Lojope made a tremendous mistake by posting Path of Thorns: Healing Sexually After Rape. http://www.ubersite.com/m/40524. This started it all...even well over a year later, the word "rape" in a lot of our minds is associated with "Lojope." Koolmang endlessly derided Lojope, spamming her posts, and eventually beginning RapeMadness.
RapeMadness occurred for the first time in September 2004, where people like Koolmang, PFF, Fetish, Method, Tuesdaydelay and Degreeless posted, the subject line being Rape. There were about ten of these posts in a row, and Bart threatened bannings after Lojope complained about it. Fetish stopped trying to rape Lojope, and turned his attention back toward trying to rape 16-year-olds.
Speaking of 16-year-olds, Wazza posted the greatest sentence of all time in his post Re - 16 y/olds 9/07/04 http://www.ubersite.com/m/44213. We all know it by heart now, but it deserves repeating.
What the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want something ,more better you look after them and take care of them then they get on the street uh?
Nobody recognized his genius until it was too late. It is now the most reviewed message, with over 3000 reviews.
Rad1101 signed up 9/19, and Cabaret Girl (again, proven to be Method) posted I'm looking for a boyfriend http://www.ubersite.com/m/45677 on 9/21.
I Have a Kristen Fetish began his oh-so-successful-and-very-normal series Users I'd Like to Suck the Piss Out Of that September 23rd, with http://ubersite.com/m/45940. He got onto the MVA, while other trolls like ProfessorFuckFace had to make do with excellent but mostly underrated posts like Sim Jesus 10/3/04 http://www.ubersite.com/m/46896.
On a sadder note (if true), Gibberish, the master of MS paint, declared he had cancer and would be leaving Uber: http://ubersite.com/m/48465 10/14/04. Though some insist he still lives on in StonedSilly (http://www.ubersite.com/m/52322#974300), I prefer to believe that Gib has gone to the great pixilated paintshop in the sky. StonedSilly made http://www.ubersite.com/m/51824 on 11/16 about his death, which was later shown to be false. The real fate of Gibberish was never known. Stonedsilly told everyone that Gibberish had pancreatic cancer. He had received a call from Gibs brother at one point who told him Gibberish had died. Chaos ensued.
First to respond on the scene was Habeeb Thomas, who posted a tasteful tribute to the MS-paint master 11/16 http://www.ubersite.com/m/51854. Next in line was ProfessorFuckFace, who showed Gibberish pulling his ass inside out ala Goatse, displaying his pancreatic cancer 11/17 http://www.ubersite.com/m/51869. Slypher posted 11/18 where he refuted Gibberish's death, passing it off as an attention stunt
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51979. No one will ever know...
In October 2004 the trolls grew very active. PFF, Fetish, Spiral, Cigar, Degreeless and Koolmang were all hitwhoring up a storm, and raping everything in sight. Spiral Abraxis got 90,000 hits alone for his Bart and Ariel post 10/15/04 http://www.ubersite.com/m/48569. Thankfully, these hits were discounted from his hitcount, and he was soon banned. Not even Bart's Happy Halloween 10/31/04 http://ubersite.com/m/50208 could satisfy these demons.
Koolmang began RapeMadness once more, this time with "Lojope got raped, pass it on" as the post. Each was under Election 2004, and he got out all his alters to help him out. Poster_boy_koolmang, Banned_Cigar, Stevendurle, Equalizer, Banned_Koolmang, Untitled_User, Dead, The_Nipper, Koolmung and Convicted_Child_rapist all joined in on the fun as well as Degreeless, Cigar and Spiral. All involved were banned immediately, excluding Lojope.
Koolmang, tenacious bugger that he was, used proxies to bypass ban, spamming Lojope to try and get her posts on most heated. Though she hated her posts being heated, Fetish and Koolmang both tried to get three on at the same time. Account verification was set in place, and Bart manually verified accounts once a day. In desperation, Koolmang used Random Joe to spam Mickginny eight hundred and fifty-six times. Anonymous comments are over. That was the end of Random Joe, who was discarded 11/4/04. Great alters like Shlongy's gay lover were silenced.
Meanwhile, the idea came to Squattail's to -2 every single post by Fetish. In retaliation, Fetish wrote a script to -2 posts with idiotic comments, and was banned. He played with scripts and bots, pushing PolyamorousAJ to MVA, eating up bandwidth and generally hurting the site. It came upon Bart-Bart to expose Fetish as the pederast that he was.
Bart made Fetish's name (Eric Rice) and website public. On his website was a section devoted to Eric stalking his "fresh meat" with a digital camera - young teenage girl's. He would sneak up on them in the mall, and take shots of their asses or up their skirts. He had an entire part of his website devoted to underage flesh. His mugshot can be found here: http://www2.ubersite.com/m/42934. Lojope translated one of Caulaincourt's comments, and posted that Eric was a child molester. The damage was done, try suggesting the name Eric Rice in google, and the first things that will pop up are Eric Rice child molester: http://www.google.com/webhp?complete=1&hl=en.
On 11/23 the post Questions about Fetish http://www.ubersite.com/m/52426 was made, in which Squattail and Fetish had one final flame war. Fetish's last real post was on 11/19, his Holy Grail of Hitwhoring. http://www.ubersite.com/m/52187. He was soon after banned permanently by Bart. See ya, Eric.
While all this rape and bot shenanigans were going on, the normal people (i.e. Thorpe and Williamson) were getting drunk: We're drunk ya faggots 11/21/04 http://ubersite.com/m/52261. Funnily enough, this is #1 on google for the search "We're drunk faggots." Other normal people were masturbating RIGHT NOW! (i.e. Hidden101, 10/27) http://www.ubersite.com/m/49854.
The Ha Ha Rabbit phenomenon began in November 2004, started by Happy Tree Friend http://www.ubersite.com/u/happy-tree-friend. Over the course of two days, every one of his many multiple posts was a hitwhoring title followed by HAHAHA!!!!RABBIT! GK replied 11/18/04, with No Rabbits in this post, by GK http://www.ubersite.com/m/52100. Look what they started...
Michael Jackson, arguably the greatest alter, and apparently a 23-year-old blonde Danish girl (go figure), signed up 12/7/04, and Chris Evans, another great alter wrote his classic and much-parodied Fuck nerds, jocks get what they want because they earn it 12/15/2004, http://www.ubersite.com/m/54375.
On 12/21, Yidele, the ancient Uberuser who had been around forever, went out in a blaze of glory. He posted animated pornography seventy-six times in a single day, and was subsequently banned, and his hits erased. That ended 2004 on a sour note.
Some other prominent people who joined in the year 2004, by date of arrival, starting with the earliest: Falco, Creep-Firebombing, Fartsmeller, Polyamorousaj, Caulaincourt, Mikethescottish, Circe, Netprophet, Shitfuck, Echoboxing, D0s, DonovanMD, Filthy Assistant, Zakalwe, Munkeypants, ETS, Agent_Smith, Lechuga, Brnd_nkd (got into a large fight with Habeeb), Teephphah, sg, Pentameter, Lordofduct, Donkeyontheedge, Chroniclysm, PhallicCymbals, Funnyascancer, Mynameistim, G-Prime, Williamson, Wazza, G-Prime, Hadtobedone, JonnyX, Jeaneee, Mandapanda, Jgreening, Thecaes, and Manicmother,
It had been an interesting year. Y HELO THAR had made its run on Uber, as did Emus, Fluteboys, and Habeeb's caw-ing birds. The search function reduced, and tougher restrictions were placed on posts and banning. Bart could ban you for neglecting a NSFW tag, or for a litany of other reasons not told. 2005 hopefully would be better.
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These are some pictures that remind me of Uber. In some way, shape or form, these represent Uber and its users.
PS: I find Goatse fascinating. Beware.
User Reviews
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-11-27 17:00:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and in July 04 Merlina joined too...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-15 00:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LOL
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:25:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pretty good life.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-03-11 14:47:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For my arrival.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-09 17:17:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I find it amusing that everyone thinks I'm every fucking alter - the real people behind them probably get so fuckin steamed that I get all the credit
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-03-09 17:13:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"In August 2004, Ubermadness II took place, and I believe Jack McCallum won...? My research is incomplete in that section."
--
You are correct, sir.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-03-09 17:09:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:45:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Probably Method's alters:
DarrenJaimes
--
Actually, it's Daniel Jaines.
I don't think he is a Method alter...
Hmmm... who was that redneck bastard?
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?user_id=10875
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-03-08 13:49:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMFG I WAS 2 YEARS OLD BACK THEN!!!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-03-08 02:43:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
rape.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-03-08 02:33:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
needs more rad.
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-03-07 18:30:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hell, he gave us skate it off!
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-03-07 18:18:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't mind not being in there, since I'll just rack it up to my inability to hold on to an account without forgetting the damn password, but WHY is stevie missing? He was w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m before Nath signed up, and is on bored at work what, 4 times? 5 maybe?
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A great historical reference.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 09:33:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm posting it right now.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 09:28:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:36:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
CookieLass, Pentameter, Leilani, Kristen, GoodGirl, RaineLark, CabaretGirl, LittleMiss69, Sacrilicious, Krissi, MistressFist, Loki, Loren1, Circe, TheTasteofMonkeys, OhLookASquirrel, Deidre, Lisa, Jeano, Corn_Nugget, Filthy Assistant, JonnyX, QueenAshlee, C1ndy, Michael Jackson, BelleBrown, MandaPanda, Merlina, LadyPlural, Siren, Clare1, Jeanneee, ForensicGirl3, Val, Mrs. Flibble...
------
Clare1 isn't a girl either.
It's the account this guy used after he got banned :- http://www.ubersite.com/u/standardeviant
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 09:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
POST THE NEXT INSTALLMENT, YOU BEEFEATING CUNT!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 09:13:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And now I'm going to go and cry about my ever-dwindling ratings, because it upsets me how a whole bunch of random strangers don't like me.
I might even kill myself.
Scratch that, I'm going for a smoke and a chat about Cricket instead.
Idjuts.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 09:09:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JonnyX is an obsessed loser.
He will play nice and stroke the collective ego, but drop a -2 on one of his shithouse offerings and be prepared to have EVERY SINGLE one of your posts retaliatorized! (I know this is a made up word. So fuck off)
He sits at home and spanks off to his user info page, looking at his ratings. If anyone drops the bomb on them, he cries himself to sleep and vows revenge. He has rated all of my posts with a -2 because he believes everyone shares his obsession with the ratings. If I cared, I'd stop posting.
In order for him to branch out and carry on with more shenanigans (Like trying to convince everyone that he is a female? Morons), he has decided to create Smack_fuck and see how far he can take him.
Honestly, if you are that obsessed with an anonymous internet forum, you should run through a bandsaw at full tilt.
Congratulations, you are now enlightened on the identity of Smack_fuckhead.
The end.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 09:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 18:51:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-03-06 18:37:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Smack_Fuck is NOT PFF.
Whoever smack_fuck is has a strong hatred of Rad, Sphagnum, myself, shlongy, JonnyX, and Method.
Not to mention his OWN self loathing...
I can understand his hatred for you dorks - but how did Shlongy get mixed into that list of characters?
------
JonnyX is the cover, tool. Hate yourself and no-one will suspect you.
He sounds the same and carries on the same.
It's him.
I know this because he didn't rate one of my posts until I engaged him somewhere else. He obviously decided that he could now start up his Auto -2 because I would never suspect.
Played again, dipshit.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 08:57:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-06 23:22:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I +2ed it. I just thought maybe you wrote it to start shit.
I'm not saying it isn't commendable but for fuck's sake when did Ubersite become happy-jolly-no-critique-place?
Next time don't forget your balls in your boyfriend's ass, G.
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Starting shit? We're gonna have a Uber-Pulsehead gang war? All right, count me in.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 08:56:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 21:32:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-06 18:57:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
stabkill:
I don't hate you, I just think you're a retard- do you agree?
----
Coming from the alter with no desire to reveal himself.
----
Dude, it's JonnyX. Very, very obvious.
The end.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 08:54:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
weeeeeep
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 08:54:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2006-03-06 23:29:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
kirby puckett died
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepp
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84938
----
YOU WANTED TO FUCK ME IN YOUR POST< YOU MS PAINTING BALL MONSTER
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-03-07 08:49:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you, Axolotl.
Submitted by Vomitoxin_AKA_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-06 23:35:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kirby Puckett: In Memorium (better than Habeeb's)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84929
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2006-03-06 23:29:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
kirby puckett died
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepp
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84938
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-06 23:22:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I +2ed it. I just thought maybe you wrote it to start shit.
I'm not saying it isn't commendable but for fuck's sake when did Ubersite become happy-jolly-no-critique-place?
Next time don't forget your balls in your boyfriend's ass, G.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-06 23:10:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Um, if you notice... I gave him a ***+2*** with the -2die written.
Joke.
Read my review from last post, aight?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-06 23:05:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you AJ, I didn't write that; unless you have the patience to write all this shit, lay off the kid
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-06 22:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just had time to read through all of it...
"Though Uber was thriving under its many new users and benevolent dictator, there was a user called Gascs who rebelled against the Creator. In Ubersite's next evolution, 6/3/04 http://www.ubersite.com/m/34913, Gascs announced the creation of his new website, http://www.pulsehead.com, created from the stolen source code of Ubersite. Though Bart reluctantly approved this project, Gascs was met with the bile of Uber, and denounced as a traitor
Pulsehead is nowhere now. There's about five posts a day, which is around where Uber was in the beginning. Due to the lack of an outlet like Bored@Work, it is not expected that Pulsehead will grow. The users are either on Uber as well, or just trolls."
***
Paragraphs like these are why your series overall is a little lacking. I hope you didn't let Method write that section. Pulsehead wasn't really a rebellion, it was a revision.
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2006-03-06 22:46:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm really enjoying this ... wicked job on all the research.
------------------------------------------------------------------
btw ... AH-HEM
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:36:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
CookieLass, Pentameter, Leilani, Kristen, GoodGirl, RaineLark, CabaretGirl, LittleMiss69, Sacrilicious, Krissi, MistressFist, Loki, Loren1, Circe, TheTasteofMonkeys, OhLookASquirrel, Deidre, Lisa, Jeano, Corn_Nugget, Filthy Assistant, JonnyX, QueenAshlee, C1ndy, Michael Jackson, BelleBrown, MandaPanda, Merlina, LadyPlural, Siren, Clare1, Jeanneee, ForensicGirl3, Val, Mrs. Flibble...
AND ME!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 21:32:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-06 18:57:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
stabkill:
I don't hate you, I just think you're a retard- do you agree?
----
Coming from the alter with no desire to reveal himself.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 21:31:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-06 21:19:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew it was inevtiable that you'd get get "So where the fuck am I?" -2's.
---
I expected it too. I'm never going to make everyone happy, so I don't try. I make 'em as utilitarian as possible.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-06 21:19:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew it was inevtiable that you'd get get "So where the fuck am I?" -2's.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-03-06 21:00:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Two more years too go, and then I expect you to get on that religion... I'm far to lazy to remind you again.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2006-03-06 20:46:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2006-03-06 15:27:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
2004 was the year that I catapaulted to number 6 on the MVA, received 4 posts on B@W, 2 of them taken off for controversial reasons, etc. This isn't a -2 for a pompous "Hey, you didn't mention me!" reason, but rather a "Hey, include all the historical facts" -2. On second thought, here's a 0. It was worth reading.
---------------------------------------------------
No Sideburns? But he's... like... Sideburns.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-06 20:29:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All I get is a NAME?
-2die
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-06 18:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
stabkill:
I don't hate you, I just think you're a retard- do you agree?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 18:51:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-03-06 18:37:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Smack_Fuck is NOT PFF.
Whoever smack_fuck is has a strong hatred of Rad, Sphagnum, myself, shlongy, JonnyX, and Method.
Not to mention his OWN self loathing...
I can understand his hatred for you dorks - but how did Shlongy get mixed into that list of characters?
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-03-06 18:38:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Uberhistory: Uber's Peak Times, '04 (nsfw) (1337 hits)
Hmmmm....
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-03-06 18:37:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Smack_Fuck is NOT PFF.
Whoever smack_fuck is has a strong hatred of Rad, Sphagnum, myself, shlongy, JonnyX, and Method.
IHAKF never had it out for Method, PFF has a sense of humor in his insults... not the stupid comments Smack_fuck makes.
It is anyones guess who it is....it really doesn't matter. I pay no attention to the guy because his insults are merely a lashing out because of his inner hatred over his hidden homosexuality or abuse at home. Stoned Silly, perhaps?
Submitted by laika (user info) at 2006-03-06 18:16:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what about "chronicles of college guy"?
im curious what the veterans think of him.
strangely enough, some of his posts were the first thing
i ever read on ubersite.
he probably went too far sometimes, but his posts were
more interesting than at least 90 percent of the stuff on here.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-06 18:08:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So leilani is mofo's alter? Huh?
hey axolotl, remember when I reminded you about a certain post, and linked to it? And you said "yeah I got that masterpiece"? go check that link closer. User info. I was looking for some mention about my failed attempt to redo the crack pic.
You failed.
Suck it bitch.
I'm sorry!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:55:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:49:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
i was just kidding axolotl, i know you are a big strong uber menz. it doesn't stop me from spouting cheesey love song lyrics in my reviews though.
--------
"Big"... "Strong"...
Derp.
I love you too, Badassm...
Leilani.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:49:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i was just kidding axolotl, i know you are a big strong uber menz. it doesn't stop me from spouting cheesey love song lyrics in my reviews though.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:34:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:08:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
axolotl, you are my lady!
you're everything i need and more!
-------
weep
As seen in my camwhore, http://www.ubersite.com/m/83509, I am a gentleman.
I will be happy to provide you with everything you need nonetheless, unless you would prefer me to be a girl.
In which case I can always get the surgery.
weep
dies
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:18:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm one of the 'prominent people'?
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
-------
ETS has already cried on this post, I suggest you laugh, scotsman.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:14:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Another Uber classic: Mary Kate Olsen doing crack pic, by Patrick 7/14 http://www.ubersite.com/m/38407.
===
Quite possibly my favorite post of all time.
This makes for interesting reading, and I shudder to think of the amount of time you spent on it. Good stuff dude.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It looks like I spent a lot of time, but not as much as it looks.
I searched for the highest reviewed and highest-hit posts, notable Uberdrama in my memory, stuff Squattail has talked about, and funny things from links back in Uber. Once I had a compilation of important posts and users, I just put them in chronological order and strung them together with prettiful words.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm one of the 'prominent people'?
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF im not reading all that!
actually i did very good job
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:14:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another Uber classic: Mary Kate Olsen doing crack pic, by Patrick 7/14 http://www.ubersite.com/m/38407.
===
Quite possibly my favorite post of all time.
This makes for interesting reading, and I shudder to think of the amount of time you spent on it. Good stuff dude.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:08:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
axolotl, you are my lady!
you're everything i need and more!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:03:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Seeing as how that fat loser method is on here 24/7 and makes up around 1/3rd of the clientele he should get 1/3rd of my abuse. Killing 5000 birds with 1 stone.
----
lol u made a joke about Method having lotsa alters lol!!11! ur so original1!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-06 16:03:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-06 15:31:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Seeing as how that fat loser method is on here 24/7 and makes up around 1/3rd of the clientele he should get 1/3rd of my abuse. Killing 5000 birds with 1 stone.
hahahahahahahaahah that ruled
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2006-03-06 15:58:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-06 15:31:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ive been here since the dawn of uber mostly just silently in the background, like "the watcher". Every now and again I climb down to your level to make an important announcement about what a bunch of fags you are, or about how this new batch of fags has out-fagged the last wave. Now we have men writing pages of poetry about each other, this place is dangerously close to being the world's first online gay-bar.
Seeing as how that fat loser method is on here 24/7 and makes up around 1/3rd of the clientele he should get 1/3rd of my abuse. Killing 5000 birds with 1 stone.
__________________________________________________
...the dawn of Uber? Yeah, nice try.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-03-06 15:43:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:51:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Fact: He's been here about 2 years and doesn't have 100 posts.
Fact: The asshole hasn't even posted since Dec. 20th.
----------
i'd say in about two years that'll be me... except i can't get away with saying suck my balls or blow me as much.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-06 15:43:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-06 15:31:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ive been here since the dawn of uber mostly just silently in the background, like "the watcher". Every now and again I climb down to your level to make an important announcement about what a bunch of fags you are, or about how this new batch of fags has out-fagged the last wave. Now we have men writing pages of poetry about each other, this place is dangerously close to being the world's first online gay-bar.
Seeing as how that fat loser method is on here 24/7 and makes up around 1/3rd of the clientele he should get 1/3rd of my abuse. Killing 5000 birds with 1 stone.
---------------------------------------------------------------
"Since the dawn of uber", Mr. User ID 21728?
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-03-06 15:32:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You forgot Ubercons again dude... the first was in 2003, but in 2004 Ubercons hit full swing with Dan's fuck-tastic parties.
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-06 15:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ive been here since the dawn of uber mostly just silently in the background, like "the watcher". Every now and again I climb down to your level to make an important announcement about what a bunch of fags you are, or about how this new batch of fags has out-fagged the last wave. Now we have men writing pages of poetry about each other, this place is dangerously close to being the world's first online gay-bar.
Seeing as how that fat loser method is on here 24/7 and makes up around 1/3rd of the clientele he should get 1/3rd of my abuse. Killing 5000 birds with 1 stone.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2006-03-06 15:27:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
2004 was the year that I catapaulted to number 6 on the MVA, received 4 posts on B@W, 2 of them taken off for controversial reasons, etc. This isn't a -2 for a pompous "Hey, you didn't mention me!" reason, but rather a "Hey, include all the historical facts" -2. On second thought, here's a 0. It was worth reading.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-06 14:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I genuinely feel enlightened
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-06 14:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-03-06 14:25:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about stevie_says
User id: 10125
Registered on or around: 2004-07-08 20:07:52
# Messages posted: 139
# Reviews written: 4356
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 4523
# Hits: 244261
Average rating of all messages: 1.60
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-06 14:20:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeaeh, and ets is a bitch. whiny bitch.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-06 14:18:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:36:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
CookieLass, Pentameter, Leilani, Kristen, GoodGirl, RaineLark, CabaretGirl, LittleMiss69, Sacrilicious, Krissi, MistressFist, Loki, Loren1, Circe, TheTasteofMonkeys, OhLookASquirrel, Deidre, Lisa, Jeano, Corn_Nugget, Filthy Assistant, JonnyX, QueenAshlee, C1ndy, Michael Jackson, BelleBrown, MandaPanda, Merlina, LadyPlural, Siren, Clare1, Jeanneee, ForensicGirl3, Val, Mrs. Flibble...
==================
So JonnyX really is a chick? ReallY? Are you sure?
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2006-03-06 14:09:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting. But I wasn't mentioned. So no +2 for you.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:49:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Every single one of Smack_fucks posts have been cut and pastes of retarded political articles that dipshits like ETS, who know nothing about the topic, flock to and argue about like fucking lemmings
------
Someone else joining on the ETS-is-a-bitch bandwagon.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:47:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great.
You appear to have forgotten to mention the fact that I joined in May 2004 and have since contributed... uh... nothing.
----------
Not at all. I liked your chav post.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Every single one of Smack_fucks posts have been cut and pastes of retarded political articles that dipshits like ETS, who know nothing about the topic, flock to and argue about like fucking lemmings
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:47:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is great.
You appear to have forgotten to mention the fact that I joined in May 2004 and have since contributed... uh... nothing.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:45:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Smack Fuck has never posted anything even remotely interesting so it COULDN'T be PPF.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:44:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:43:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No, smack_fuck is some other asshole - he went by the user name of leroy_brown, either got banned or the fucking dipshit forgot his password.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:41:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:38:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree.
Hey Smack_fuckinretard, I +2ed this post, shouldn't you be -2ing it?
---
I have the suspicion that SmackFuck is PFF.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:40:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:37:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
03 was better than 04.
people that signed up in 04 were chubby homo-slobs, without fail.
-------
Who are you, Squattail?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:38:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree.
Hey Smack_fuckinretard, I +2ed this post, shouldn't you be -2ing it?
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:37:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
03 was better than 04.
people that signed up in 04 were chubby homo-slobs, without fail.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:36:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
CookieLass, Pentameter, Leilani, Kristen, GoodGirl, RaineLark, CabaretGirl, LittleMiss69, Sacrilicious, Krissi, MistressFist, Loki, Loren1, Circe, TheTasteofMonkeys, OhLookASquirrel, Deidre, Lisa, Jeano, Corn_Nugget, Filthy Assistant, JonnyX, QueenAshlee, C1ndy, Michael Jackson, BelleBrown, MandaPanda, Merlina, LadyPlural, Siren, Clare1, Jeanneee, ForensicGirl3, Val, Mrs. Flibble...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:29:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:28:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Usually a broad. ANY broad.
--0---------
Tigerlilly, Munkeypants, Always_an_Eagle, Mystiamoon, Urbane Mischief, ThatOneGirl, Ghola, Ainkara, ETS...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:28:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Usually a broad. ANY broad.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:26:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:22:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Except ETS is TOTALLY serious when his "widdle feelings get hurt" while Shlongy is just being Shlongy and trying to make just ONE fucking person - besides myself - laugh.
--
He seemed very bitter, didn't he? Who is the person you're trying to make laugh?
My screen just froze just when I was stopped at the Goatse. Weeps.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:24:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:19:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:48:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way, ETS, the only mention I gave of Shlongy was a single sentence, stating that both he and Tigerlilly registered in early August.
Jesus, ETS, I used to think you had some sensibility. No need to start a fight over nothing.
----------
Dude, ETS wouldn't be ETS, unless he was whining - kinda like how Shlongy says 'dipshit' all the time...
-------------
Sometimes I agree with him.
Ha! I was going to put his childhood camwhore in the 2005 installment, but now I'll TAKE IT OUT!!
Or not.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:22:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Except ETS is TOTALLY serious when his "widdle feelings get hurt" while Shlongy is just being Shlongy and trying to make just ONE fucking person - besides myself - laugh.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:48:20 (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way, ETS, the only mention I gave of Shlongy was a single sentence, stating that both he and Tigerlilly registered in early August.
Jesus, ETS, I used to think you had some sensibility. No need to start a fight over nothing.
----------
Dude, ETS wouldn't be ETS, unless he was whining - kinda like how Shlongy says 'dipshit' all the time...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:08:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:07:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
I saw that on Thorns' post before. Not a surprise, given how he trolls.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:04:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84900#1868591
----------
Hmmm...I can see him being an alter.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:07:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And I forgot to rate, since I usually don't bother. Sorry.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:07:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I saw that on Thorns' post before. Not a surprise, given how he trolls.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:04:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84900#1868591
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rating: 1.69 on 70 reviews
-------
Har har 69
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:59:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
"Falco, Creep-Firebombing, Fartsmeller, Polyamorousaj, Caulaincourt, Mikethescottish, Circe, Netprophet, Shitfuck, Echoboxing, D0s, DonovanMD, Filthy Assistant, Zakalwe, Munkeypants, ETS, Agent_Smith, Lechuga, Brnd_nkd (got into a large fight with Habeeb), Teephphah, sg, Pentameter, Lordofduct, Donkeyontheedge, Chroniclysm, PhallicCymbals, Funnyascancer, Mynameistim, G-Prime, Williamson, Wazza, G-Prime, Hadtobedone, JonnyX, Jeaneee, Mandapanda, Jgreening, Thecaes, and Manicmother"
You should have filed me under alters, Blinky.
-----
It had to be done.
Why, you're an alter?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:01:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:53:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
well, thanks for mentioning me, I suppose.
unban yidele.
and koolmang.
fuck fetish.
this guy was the funniest poster of 2004 though:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/sausageking
a brief but glorious posting career.
we shall never see their like again.
-----
Unban Koolmang!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 13:01:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:53:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Technically ETS is the sixteenth footnote to all of the users mentioned 'in detail,' with Falco, Creep-Firebombing, Fartsmeller, Polyamorousaj, Caulaincourt, Mikethescottish, Circe, Netprophet, Shitfuck, Echoboxing, D0S, DonovanMD, Filthy Assistant, Zakalwe, and Munkeypants coming before him.
Can't people just be happy to get a mention at all?
Electrotoothsyndrome wept tears in the night
He sobbed and he bawled and hoped he'd be all right
For Ax disrespected and shamed him that day
A second banana to Shlongy the Gay,
Weep, ETS, but your tears quickly dry
For this latest outburst makes Babe Jebus cry.
------
Haha
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:59:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Falco, Creep-Firebombing, Fartsmeller, Polyamorousaj, Caulaincourt, Mikethescottish, Circe, Netprophet, Shitfuck, Echoboxing, D0s, DonovanMD, Filthy Assistant, Zakalwe, Munkeypants, ETS, Agent_Smith, Lechuga, Brnd_nkd (got into a large fight with Habeeb), Teephphah, sg, Pentameter, Lordofduct, Donkeyontheedge, Chroniclysm, PhallicCymbals, Funnyascancer, Mynameistim, G-Prime, Williamson, Wazza, G-Prime, Hadtobedone, JonnyX, Jeaneee, Mandapanda, Jgreening, Thecaes, and Manicmother"
You should have filed me under alters, Blinky.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't mind being a footnote to Shlongy considering I've been here 2 years TODAY (just realized that) and only managed to throw up 27 posts.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:55:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this guy was the funniest poster of 2004 though:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/sausageking
---
Abe Froman? The Sausage King of Chicago?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:53:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
well, thanks for mentioning me, I suppose.
unban yidele.
and koolmang.
fuck fetish.
this guy was the funniest poster of 2004 though:
http://www.ubersite.com/u/sausageking
a brief but glorious posting career.
we shall never see their like again.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:53:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Technically ETS is the sixteenth footnote to all of the users mentioned 'in detail,' with Falco, Creep-Firebombing, Fartsmeller, Polyamorousaj, Caulaincourt, Mikethescottish, Circe, Netprophet, Shitfuck, Echoboxing, D0S, DonovanMD, Filthy Assistant, Zakalwe, and Munkeypants coming before him.
Can't people just be happy to get a mention at all?
Electrotoothsyndrome wept tears in the night
He sobbed and he bawled and hoped he'd be all right
For Ax disrespected and shamed him that day
A second banana to Shlongy the Gay,
Weep, ETS, but your tears quickly dry
For this latest outburst makes Babe Jebus cry.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:48:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way, ETS, the only mention I gave of Shlongy was a single sentence, stating that both he and Tigerlilly registered in early August.
Jesus, ETS, I used to think you had some sensibility. No need to start a fight over nothing.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:53:52 (#)
Ranking: 1
Jesus Christ, I'd like to know how many alters Method has had since he first registered. 20? 50? 100? My God man, get a hobby other than Ubersite. Please. You're an addict. Hell, buy a PS2 and start playing SOCOM 3 online with me. Just do anything to stay away from here.
And Jeffy, your "year" was 2005. I didn't even know you were on the site until Thanksgiving of 2004.
-----------
Known Method's alters:
CabaretGirl
TheAntiBart
ZeroBootFuck
Many others.
Probably Method's alters:
LittleMiss69
DarrenJaimes
The rest of Ubersite
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:44:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:40:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
This really does go along with my idea of getting to 200k hits without anyone giving a shit.
why doesn't anyone love me?
I love back.
-
Oh, I love you, badass.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:42:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:31:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
Falco, Creep-Firebombing, Fartsmeller, Polyamorousaj, Caulaincourt, Mikethescottish, Circe, Netprophet, Shitfuck, Echoboxing, D0s, DonovanMD, Filthy Assistant, Zakalwe, Munkeypants, ETS, Agent_Smith, Lechuga, Brnd_nkd (got into a large fight with Habeeb), Teephphah, sg, Pentameter, Lordofduct, Donkeyontheedge, Chroniclysm, PhallicCymbals, Funnyascancer, Mynameistim, G-Prime, Williamson, Wazza, G-Prime, Hadtobedone, JonnyX, Jeaneee, Mandapanda, Jgreening, Thecaes, and Manicmother,
----------------
Any one of these people have contributed WAY more than fucking Shlongy. Jesus...CIRCE! Shitfuck! FA! MONKEYPANTS! DONKEY! TEEPH! PHALLIC! All these people are footnotes to fucking SHLONGY!?!?! WTF?
Come to think of it, -2 just for that. And I'll -2 the next one if you bloat Shlongy's contribution even futher than it already has been bloated.
You should be calling this a history of uber's stupid dramas now. I thought it was going to go further than that. My mistake, I guess. You should rake in the hits though.
------
This is chronicling:
1) Major posts
2) Drama
Circe will be in 2005, as will be Shitfuck, SwampDonkey and others. Shlongy has a skill at starting fights and drama, and the people you mentioned were important on Uber, but never really had any major hits.
Complainers, if you want to make a history post yourself, be my guest. I can't make everyone happy, and I'm not going to try, but most people reviewing this feel it is a fantastic job. I'm not one to stroke myself, but I agree; this took a lot of research. -2 me all you like, but you're showing jealousy from lack of attention.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:40:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This really does go along with my idea of getting to 200k hits without anyone giving a shit.
why doesn't anyone love me?
I love back.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:35:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:20:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is quite possibly one of the best series ever for this site. The idea was to build a self sustaining community. It clearly is. What a great way to showcase the works of UBER in some type of order. You rock.
-
Woo
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:35:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:17:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep it up man.
BUT QUIT MAKING THEM NSFW!
-----
BWA HAHA
Okay, the next one won't be.
I'm still putting in a pic of Urbane's verjiner.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:00:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't forget about Jimthefiend in your next one.
That guy was fucking hilarious, hey Shlong?
----
Definitely not
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:31:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really need to learn this shit; I'm only a yearling.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:14:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do I need to get a gun and hold this post hostage? HEY!! OVER HERE!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:10:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who...Frank Constanza?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:10:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
is it sad that i find this terribly interesting?
glah.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:05:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy reminds me of the father from Everybody loves Raymond
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:03:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone give ETS a fucking towel.
WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Jealousy is such an unattractive trait, although, even if he wasn't jealous, he would still look like shit.
That's gotta be it. doodee doodee doodee doodee doodee doo....
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:57:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Never anything less than fascinating.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, not to brag or self-promote, but I'm surprised the whole "Tom Sorrell was interviewed by an NFL announcer for an article he wrote on Ubersite" thing wasn't mentioned.
Ah, 2004: the year when I actually used to write stuff.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:53:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Jesus Christ, I'd like to know how many alters Method has had since he first registered. 20? 50? 100? My God man, get a hobby other than Ubersite. Please. You're an addict. Hell, buy a PS2 and start playing SOCOM 3 online with me. Just do anything to stay away from here.
And Jeffy, your "year" was 2005. I didn't even know you were on the site until Thanksgiving of 2004.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:51:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ETS only hates you because he wants you... or wants to be you... or something like that, I forget how the old addage goes.
Either way it ends up in buttsecks.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fact: 33 out of Shlongy's lat 40 posts have contained his own name (included below) No wonder all we ever hear about is Shlongy.
Fact: He's been here about 2 years and doesn't have 100 posts.
Fact: The ones he does have are complete shit.
Fact: The asshole hasn't even posted since Dec. 20th.
Fact: People on this website seem to think he's funny.
Fact: He's not.
My Sexual History - The Shlongy Years
Brand New Shlongy! (Vol. II; SFW)
Brand New Shlongy! (With Brand New Camwhore!)
Shlongy's Uberversary - 1 Year Today; Can You Believe It?
Shlongy's Favorite Spank Sites (NSFW) - With Picture!
Shlongy Hears a Who
Shlongy's Top 10 Random Things He Likes
Shlongy's Latest - Name That Uberite Quiz!
Shlongy's Favorite Sluts - Vol. 1
Who Needs Shlongy's Last Six Votes?
Shlongy Comes Clean - Reveals Alter!!!
Shlongy's Thoughts on Dying and Stuff
Shlongy Gets Promoted! - UberSite Career on Hold
Shlongy Saves The Day - A True Hero w/ Camwhore to Prove it!
ShlongyMadness-2005 "The Rules" (Kinda NSFW)
Shlongy's "UberMadness" Consolation Post - For those not invited to participate (NSFW)
Shlongy's Strategy on Cleaning Up Ubersite
Name Shlongy's Latest Stalker...
Shlongy's Favorite Posters
Shlongy and His Fans - A Uber Love Affair - Part Deux
Another Shlongy Milestone - 10,000 Reviews!!!
Shlongy's Sex Tips - Vol. XII How to Get Chicks To Spread Their Legs (NSFW)
Alright, Dammit- Shlongy is in for the Uber Directory
Shlongy Starts His Summer Diet - Thank God
Shlongy Kills Easter Bunny- Film at 11
After The Pandemic - Shlongy's Treats Hit The Market
Shlongy's Sex Tips - Vol. VI (NSFW)
Shlongy Leaves UberSite- Kind of
Shlongy's Latest Quiz: "Name That Uber Poster" (NSFW)
ShlongyWear- On Sale Now at Your Finer Clothing Establishments - Part 1
Shlongy's "Test Your Memory" Game- (NSFW)
Shlongy Takes a Bride - And People Magazine Was There!
Submitted By Shlongy but Too Fucking Late
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:34:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Now you've gone and made the little boy ETS cry...again.
Christ, you're a fucking woman. And I apologize to all women FOR that remark.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Falco, Creep-Firebombing, Fartsmeller, Polyamorousaj, Caulaincourt, Mikethescottish, Circe, Netprophet, Shitfuck, Echoboxing, D0s, DonovanMD, Filthy Assistant, Zakalwe, Munkeypants, ETS, Agent_Smith, Lechuga, Brnd_nkd (got into a large fight with Habeeb), Teephphah, sg, Pentameter, Lordofduct, Donkeyontheedge, Chroniclysm, PhallicCymbals, Funnyascancer, Mynameistim, G-Prime, Williamson, Wazza, G-Prime, Hadtobedone, JonnyX, Jeaneee, Mandapanda, Jgreening, Thecaes, and Manicmother,
----------------
Any one of these people have contributed WAY more than fucking Shlongy. Jesus...CIRCE! Shitfuck! FA! MONKEYPANTS! DONKEY! TEEPH! PHALLIC! All these people are footnotes to fucking SHLONGY!?!?! WTF?
Come to think of it, -2 just for that. And I'll -2 the next one if you bloat Shlongy's contribution even futher than it already has been bloated.
You should be calling this a history of uber's stupid dramas now. I thought it was going to go further than that. My mistake, I guess. You should rake in the hits though.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:28:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You were a "footnote" to Shlongy long before Uber came along, Sally.
Hey, wanna bet you never marry the chick from across the pond? She'd blow her brains out if she had to cohabitate for a week with your whiny, emo ass. I'm game.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why anyone ever gave a shit about Shlongy, I still have no fucking clue.
Now I'm a footnote to this asshole. Brilliant.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:24:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wonder what 05's gonna be.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:46:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:40:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
We called Eric Rice a child molester way before lojope translated that comment. He got banned at that moment because he spammed her.
I miss yidele.
One proeminent user I do not miss however is Donne Fan.
--
Unban Yidele!
On one hand, Baking_Lady is Eric Rice's alter.
===
I thought so too about Baking_Lady but it is rad's alter.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oops. sorry.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm close to posting Shlongy post #100. Just trying to learn the nuances of the goddamn digital camera.
It'll be an event. It'll also, probably suck.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:16:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
You think JimtheFiend is doing time for child pornography?
No way could that asshole quit this dump cold turkey.
-----
Good question. I thought Swamp_Donkey and WTH would have trouble as well, but they seemed to have just disappeared.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:20:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is quite possibly one of the best series ever for this site. The idea was to build a self sustaining community. It clearly is. What a great way to showcase the works of UBER in some type of order. You rock.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:17:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep it up man.
BUT QUIT MAKING THEM NSFW!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:16:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You think JimtheFiend is doing time for child pornography?
No way could that asshole quit this dump cold turkey.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:11:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and in the next installment we'll look at all the great writesr who signed, scourgeoftheseas and....well that about covers it for 2005
These are great.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:09:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey! leave the self promotion to Shlongy, he's the only one who deserves to promote himself...
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:35:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:09:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG! G-Prime signed up twice!
*Dies*
-----
He said that he wanted to be in this, so I made sure that I didn't forget him by putting him in...again!
========
SHH!!! SHHHH!!! don't ruin the illusion that I'm an important user!
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:09:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG! G-Prime signed up twice!
*Dies*
=========
God damned right, sfag!
How could I not love this? MENTIONNED TWICE BIATCH!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:00:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't forget about Jimthefiend in your next one.
That guy was fucking hilarious, hey Shlong?
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-03-06 11:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn good stuff!
I had a dream about Eric Rice this weekend. Kinda creepy, considering I never got caught up in all the drama and I barely knew what it was about.
Don't forget that 2005 was the year of the boobs!
Which, you know, I thought my Uberboobage was just a fun contest, but the claws definitely came out after I posted. I do believe that that was the post in which Circe said that she wasn't going to post her boobs on Uber, and lo and behold, a Valentine's Day Boob post was born.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:58:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:55:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Not enough Shlongy.
I WAS Uber, 2004.
----
You don't post enough.
I demand you make a post this very day.
Talk about...why you hate emus, or something. Or touching oneself.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:57:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:54:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-06 09:53:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
As we stand here at the edge of 2004, its depth and history spread out behind us like a tableau of the divine, we peer into the reaches of 2005 and see a glimmer, a spark, and hear a whisper on the wind: "O."
-----------------------------------------
And in late 2004, a most musically inclined upstart soon to be known as CaptainThorns was lurking in the shadows, observing the mysterious ways of the Ubervillage.
-------------
Hey, so was I. I lurked since September 04.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:55:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not enough Shlongy.
I WAS Uber, 2004.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:54:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-06 09:53:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
As we stand here at the edge of 2004, its depth and history spread out behind us like a tableau of the divine, we peer into the reaches of 2005 and see a glimmer, a spark, and hear a whisper on the wind: "O."
-----------------------------------------
And in late 2004, a most musically inclined upstart soon to be known as CaptainThorns was lurking in the shadows, observing the mysterious ways of the Ubervillage.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:51:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:35:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I meant 'o' for axOlOtl of course.
---
Ah, but of course.
And my real name has THREE os in it.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:46:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:40:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
We called Eric Rice a child molester way before lojope translated that comment. He got banned at that moment because he spammed her.
I miss yidele.
One proeminent user I do not miss however is Donne Fan.
--
Unban Yidele!
On one hand, Baking_Lady is Eric Rice's alter.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:40:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We called Eric Rice a child molester way before lojope translated that comment. He got banned at that moment because he spammed her.
I miss yidele.
One proeminent user I do not miss however is Donne Fan.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:35:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:09:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG! G-Prime signed up twice!
*Dies*
-----
He said that he wanted to be in this, so I made sure that I didn't forget him by putting him in...again!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:35:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I meant 'o' for axOlOtl of course.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:34:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-06 09:53:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
As we stand here at the edge of 2004, its depth and history spread out behind us like a tableau of the divine, we peer into the reaches of 2005 and see a glimmer, a spark, and hear a whisper on the wind: "O."
Soon, pilgrims. Soon.
----
Guess who else signed up...a week before YOU did...
ME!
GO me woo!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-06 10:30:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-06 09:44:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm important MOTHER FUCKER
Everything you ever wanted to know about badassmofo
User id: 15038
Registered on or around: 2004-12-29 12:57:36
# Messages posted: 170
# Reviews written: 6408
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 7884
# Hits: 180198
Average rating of all messages: 1.43
--
I put you in there. You signed up in late, late 2004, so I couldn't do any posts of yours