Uberhistory: Shlongs and Vulvas, 2005 (finally not nsfw HighVoltage900) (13895 hits)
Category: Computers & InternetLabels: Uber-related/Bandwagon
Rating: 1.52 on 167 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Axolotl (View user info) at 2006-03-07 09:55:03 EST
Uber's Childhood - '99-'00: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84645
pUBERty - '01-'02: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84700
Uber Loses It's Virginity - '03: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84763
Uber's Peak Times - '04: http://www.ubersite.com/m/84904
This one is finally not nsfw. Which forced me to block out the pictures I had of Urbane's vag, not that anyone would be interested there anyway.
2005, here we go.
---------------------------------------------------------------
2005 (Posts 55643 through 81744)
2005 was a year of drama. A fight between Shlongy and Jimthefiend ended in Jim's banning, and Shlongy's personal information being spread all over the internet. Urbane Mischief gave pictures of her vulva to Vulva, strangely enough (yeah, like no one's every made that joke before. Funny, Axolotl); and Wiggles posted them online. Apollo and Caulaincourt were seen doing the dance of joy from Perfect Strangers together.
The first drama of the year began with Carol Richards, who signed up 1/28/05 http://www.ubersite.com/u/carolrichards. She was some kind of fembot alter who made a list of all male chauvinist pigs on Uber and wanted them to change. This was when she claimed that all Habeeb has ever done was cartoon pornography. Not so! Read his third post. She also used hitwhore tactics to get her insidious message across.
She left sometime in February or March, but she came by to "check up" on us later.
Meanwhile, Circe got a bunch of Uber wenches together and for a Valentine's Day present posted The boobs of Uber: Happy Valentine's Day, 2/14/05 http://www.ubersite.com/m/59505. It was a catalogue of lovely breasts, the most famous of which were Tigerilly "Soapy Tits" beshowered mammaries.
While the REAL men were enjoying lovely lady lumps, tool Dripping Abscess http://www.ubersite.com/u/drippingabscess was befouling Uber with his "gothic" poetry and -2 spamming. People began to hate him, but Ladyplural would make a tribute post to him later...
One of the more interesting pieces of Uberdrama happened when Jgreening lost his job because of an idiotic Electro post that he had not labeled as NSFW: Fucking Electro, I swear I might have to find you and end you 2/25/05 http://www.ubersite.com/m/60656. You can search the title if you're interested in fucking Electro, whether in reference to Jay Peg or if you seem to find Electro's bloated teenage body attractive.
Electro responded with sarcasm and dismissiveness, entirely unaffected that because of him a man had gotten in trouble. His poor apology merited THE greatest hate post in the history of Uber, by Ingsoc: I love electro, and you should too http://ubersite.com/m/60691 2/26/05. This is the ultimate hate post, covering every single base.
He tore Electro apart in vicious hatery, and set the example of hate posts everywhere. Electro's response was to stare at the pretty flowers on the wall.
On March 4th, Jack McCallum carved a place for himself in Uber lore by starting the After the Pandemic series: http://www.ubersite.com/m/61238. The idea was to create a great deal of zombie posts, which was continued by McCallum in Smith: The End of the World, The Caes in his own series, and Axolotl (yep, me) which is still being continued. Other Uberers did it as a one-shot deal, but it was good overall.
On March 7th Filthy Assistant posted Nature: It's fucked up http://www.ubersite.com/m/61429, which was put up on B@W and is now one of the most viewed posts. The next day, one of the most disgusting posts in Uber history was created by Jarvis (now banned). With the appropriate title NSFW NSFW THE MOST DISGUSTING THING YOU WILL EVER SEE NSFW http://ubersite.com/m/61506, it was a compilation of a gentleman cutting off his own penis. I'd advise you not to click there.
Blitzkrieg Bob's post The Ultimate Weapon for Exacting Revenge on Co-Workers 3/14/05 (woo my mom's birthday) http://ubersite.com/m/61908 got Uber a mention in a paper, I can't remember which. It was also featured on Slash.org, as well as CNN or Fox I think. It was also a fairly cool post; I tried to make one of the cardboard guns, but I had the wrong kind of materials. <Weeps>
One of the posts I remember from this period was Wazza camwhores! by Thorpe, 3/20/05 http://www.ubersite.com/m/62304. It featured Thorpe, looking like a 12-year old, among other things. He fought people with a plastic bat as well. This posts leads me to believe that I like Australians in general.
On April 2nd, the Pope died, and the shenanigans began. On the 3rd (my birthday woo) Snuggles the Assassin posted A view in heaven http://www.ubersite.com/m/63341, which features Pope John Paul II, Johnny Cochran and Terri Schiavo having an orgy, featuring the classic quote, "If the dick don't fit, you must feed the bitch." Dr. Pimpossible posted Pope Idol, which doesn't deserve the low rating it has 4/23 http://www.ubersite.com/m/64875.
Shandy the Dog posted his seminal (in many ways) Hippos Don't Swallo http://www.ubersite.com/m/63516 April 4. It features Shandy's erect penis ejaculating into the mouth of a toy hippo. This would start an entire series, with Shandy splooging on angels, globes, and other various objects.
Captain Thorns 4/14 posted the Shlongy Dance http://www.ubersite.com/m/64272, which was first on Best Ever for a LONG time, until G-Prime decided to drop a +1bomb on it.
Corn Nugget posted 5/12 her highly-reviewed post Shiloh http://www.ubersite.com/m/66204, in which she alleged that she had become pregnant by Shiloh (http://www.ubersite.com/u/screamfeeder). This started a massive discussion where nobody seemed to be able to mind their business, least of all Mystiamoon, as seen in this, the most psychotic review on Ubersite: http://www.ubersite.com/m/66204#1324706. Mad, that one is.
For various shenanigannery and undue heatedness, WhatTheHell was banned 6/6 after this post http://www.ubersite.com/m/67896. Also banned was Zakalwe. Zakalwe had made quite a name for himself posting porn, but Bart felt he took it a bit far after http://www.ubersite.com/m/66041 5/10/05 Hardcore animated sex. It was an anime babe being penetrated in x-ray, and...ah, just look at it yourselves. My words can't do it justice.
And that is the reason that Zakalwe has posted no porn. On 5/23, Ladyplural delivered a hate post directed at Dripping Abscess: For you, Dripping Abscess http://www.ubersite.com/m/66930. I thought it was disgustingly brilliant, although there was a mixed reaction. Truly awesome troll Professor Fuck Face decided to kill himself the next day: http://www.ubersite.com/m/67037.
Fat Tony started the infamous South Park Bandwagon 6/2/05 http://ubersite.com/m/67650 by posting a picture he had taken of his screen, presumably because he didn't know how to use PrintScreen. For the entire month of June, EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON UBER posted what they looked like in South Park. I missed it by just a few days...
Spooner posted his classic Liberal Agenda 6/5 Spooner http://www.ubersite.com/m/67824, which was instantly put on B@W. Half the people loved it, and the other, less subtle, half found the irony a bit much. On June 8th, Uber was changed forever, as the greatest poster in all six years signed up, someone so great that I have to delve into my large collection of superlative adjectives to describe: me! Wooo go Axolotl, and bears as well.
I registered, posting The Kicker. I'm not going to link it here, I'm not that much of a whore. I was back then, and linkwhored my post all over the MVM and the front page, earning some -2s and pwnage from the rest of Uber. One of my favorite posts was made the day after I registered, 6/9: Bobby Noooooo by Jack: http://www.ubersite.com/m/68161. Absolutely hilarious.
A new alter, Transformer http://www.ubersite.com/u/transformer, was registered, one of unusual creativity. He would imitate a user everyday for a bit over a week, and try to fool people. He was fairly good, except for spamming Adam. The idea has recently been brought back up by alter Amorphous http://www.ubersite.com/u/amorphous, who is either Method, Habeeb, Apollo...
Method, researcher premier of Ubersite, found that Electric Tooth Syndrome and Filthy Assistant were the same person, in You Internet people are fucking creepy 6/15 http://www.ubersite.com/m/68618. I was right convinced for a while, but somehow Method was proved wrong. It seemed so airtight, too...started a nice bit of drama. SG the Platypus Master attained B@W with Damn You Google! Google is my new arch enemy 6/28 http://www.ubersite.com/m/69481. I recall it starting a large bandwagon...
Though Ha Ha Rabbit appeared back in November 04 such as No Rabbits in this post GK http://www.ubersite.com/m/52100, it was resurrected in summer 05. People would post something like "A Nipple and a Bowl of Jello" or "This is Urbane, what's going on in my life" and have nothing in the content but a picture of a rabbit. A fucking rabbit. God, you guys are reTARDed!
Habeeb scored once again with his insightful A Thing to Do On a Warm Summer's Day (?NSFW?) 7/1 http://ubersite.com/m/69743. It was a picture of a young lady vomiting all over a young man's knob, to say the least. The Beeb was banned for what was the sixth time, I believe. And then, London was bombed 7/7. Cindy created the main discussion post on that, the simple Bombing in London today http://www.ubersite.com/m/70103. Brendan posted his guide to banning 7/15 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/70803. He could have added Beeb's post onto that...
RaineLark signed up, and posted some stupid joke. I had my first Uber-influence-moment by suggesting to her that she post something interesting...so she posted Fashion Tips for a Sexy Summer, 7/13 http://ubersite.com/m/70571. Good lord...that started some good Photoshops.
Ubermadness III started, and there were some notable posts, especially by Electro. "Whom killed him and why?" was the tagline of Paid In Full, 7/15 http://www.ubersite.com/m/70816. The phrase is not used as much anymore, but it was funny as hell when it came out. Shitfuck mocked pretensious UM titles in the uproariously random Soup's On 7/18 http://www.ubersite.com/m/71031. SOUPS ON, BITCHES!!!
Also, people started saying "sauce." Long story, which even I don't get. Kai and Sphagnum's fight came to somewhat of a conclusion in Fagnum's Big Day 8/4 http://www.ubersite.com/m/72496. It was a fairly good hate post, but now the entire country of Laos kates Kai, because they apparently had a king called Fagnum...
Jimthefiend joined Uber and settled into a bitter rivalry with Shlongy. They would fight on each others' posts, bringing Jim 60,000 hits in a matter of two months. Their fight came to a criminally hateful conclusion when under an alter, Jimthefiend posted Shlongy's personal information 8/12 in Guys, I Need You To Make a Prank Phone Call http://www.ubersite.com/m/73055. Bart immediately deleted this tool's post, but it's still in google's cache. Jim was immediately banned, but the damage was done.
People began making posts in reference to Shlongy's 80s punk band, and Bart made a new rule that anyone mentioning Jeff's - eep, I mean Shlongy's - name would be banned. It was an updated version of the Eric Rice treatment, except that Shlongy really didn't deserve it. Fetish was a rapist, Shlongy's a cool cat.
More drama occurred when MyNameIsTim broke up online with Krissi 8/17 http://www.ubersite.com/m/73351. It sparked a massive discussion, and it eventually had to be taken off heated. I don't know these people, so I'll keep my opinions to myself on this one. Spooner thankfully punctuated the infighting with Idiots Discuss Complex Subjects 8/17 http://www.ubersite.com/m/73335, but the worst was yet to come.
Urbane Mischief had sent naked pictures of herself to Vulva, who (unsure about this) began sending them around people's email inboxes. They made their rounds before Wiggles posted them in Naked Pictures of Urbane Mischief NSFW 8/21 http://64.233.179.104/search?q=cache:2M9BilYAD7wJ:www.ubersite.com/m/73568+&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1. That's the cached post; I don't feel too bad about giving this out, as the picture is broken. I'm sure many others, including Bart, have saved the rotting oyster on their hard drives.
Urbane decided to leave us, sparing us from months of drama revolving around her chubby box. Kaelic made a reply to the entire shenanigans, but Bart deleted the post, sparking another debate about how Bart's powers should be used.
While Urbane resigns Ubersite in one final grab for attention, WhatTheHell returns and brings a ray of light by posting Ubersite is awesome 8/31 http://www.ubersite.com/m/74252. Teephphah is offended by the child rape, for some reason. Even better, ProfessorFuckFace returned from suicide with Squattail's First Children's Book 9/1 http://www.ubersite.com/m/74404.
September was a bit better without Urbane. Comedic writer Wtaystrm posted At Least My Generation Have Excuses 9/13 http://www.ubersite.com/m/75036. On 9/16, Method asked the question, What Does Method Do When You Send Him a Video of You Stripteasing? http://www.ubersite.com/m/75337.
William Q Percy scored a B@W with the Pornographic Language of the Oil and Gas Industry 9/23 http://www.ubersite.com/m/75751, which featured a donkey killing a mountain lion while some dogs watched.
ProfessorFuckFace was back and up to his same old talented trolling. He posted Uberhistory 9/16, a more condensed version of mine http://www.ubersite.com/m/75308. 9/19, PFF sent up his Best MSPAINT EVAR! http://www.ubersite.com/m/75459 which now has 85,000 hits. Is it better than Forthewin's? You decide.
Arguably PFF's greatest post, Generic B@W Post was submitted 9/27 http://www.ubersite.com/m/76012. However, he soon fell into his own bitter, cynical ways, posting about rape over and over 10/8 http://www.ubersite.com/m/76691. After listing hacks to an internet game, he was once again banned.
15-year-old D-Prime had started D-Prime Madness in August, but had revived it again for October. Apparently though, he decided not to finish it, wasting the time of many Uberusers. He would thankfully soon be gone.
A new user called the Cyst Master signed up, posting masterful works of art like Vagina Spelunking http://www.ubersite.com/m/77467 10/21. He was soon known for his violent MSpaint artwork, which usually featured swollen bloody labia, split urethras, and cows saying "FUCK MYYYOOUOUUU!"
Pen_Name posted 11/4 Remembering Fallen Heroes http://www.ubersite.com/m/78386, which was put on B@W. However, an even post was Habeeb's Urbane in 50 Years 11/7 http://www.ubersite.com/m/78554. Beeb was banned for the SEVENTH time.
On the Friday of 11/11, Fartsmeller was having some problems putting attachments on his posts. He posted the same thing about twelve times, but the attachments weren't working for anyone. That night, the posts themselves failed. The weekend of 11/11-11/14, whenever someone posted, not only would it not appear on the front page for several minutes, it would have no text.
Was this a test to Bart's virtual community? Was Bart purposely taking away posting capabilities and making us converse in reviews? In any case, Thorpe got pissed, both at Uber breaking and at advertisements being put on Uber. He and some others decided to spam http://www.ubersite.com/m/1 to get it on heated, something that Thorpe and Williamson were temporarily banned for. ETS posted some B@W stuff, and Tigerlilly got 5000 hits on a blank post. Bart's friend Whirlycott came in to fix Uber, and we could once again waste our time at work.
Tigerlilly began the TMI series 11/16 http://ubersite.com/m/79333, telling personal information about Uberusers. She would ride this heated series onto the MVA, displacing Gibberish and Smurfs.
Suddenly, thanks to a young, upstart called Orgasmatron, poetry became cool. Whereas in the past, poetry would be met with -2die, violent, sexually repulsive poetry like 11/23 Gobble Gobble, Beak and Wottle http://www.ubersite.com/m/79734 became the fashion.
People like Captain Thorns, MandaPanda, and I tried our hand at some poetry, and Orgasmatron started his trend of leaving derisive poetry in bad posts. November was good...Matron's sonnets brought joy to all. 11/24 relatively new user Redskieslookfake posted Canada Is the Laziest Country in the World http://www.ubersite.com/m/79768, which sparked a huge debate and flames flames flames!
Habeeb was allowed to come back 12/4. He was so excited about his unbanning, he posted a picture of a man with a huge penis, labeling him Bart http://www.ubersite.com/m/80382. Banned for the EIGHTH time. I just found Habeeb's exuberance hilaroius.
On 12/7, Wtaystrm posted Jesus stopped me getting a job http://www.ubersite.com/m/80577, a classic which soon went on B@W. Christmas time was here, and people were getting into the holiday spirits, such as Ubermas 2005, and my Holiday Songs from Uber Post.
Mistress Fist registered, and soon became a prominent Uber user in less than a week (Jeebus...), mostly by her Badass Children's Cartoon Characters that I Fucked 12/8 http://www.ubersite.com/m/80656 and 12/9 http://www.ubersite.com/m/80738. Method liked her...a lot. People all over from Shlongy to JonnyX tried to line up to get with her, disregarding MasterFist. We got her to camwhore eventually...
In the days leading up to Christmas, the Uber Tree bandwagon started, where people posted Christmas trees filled with Uber-related things (goatse, Lemonparty, emus, rabbits, autists). On a quiet note, 2005 ended.
Some prominent people who signed up in 2005 were Thorpe, CaptainThorns, Pantsarestupid, Kaos-King, Unabonger, Sphagnum, Joedaddy, Confuzitron, Ozzy, Pokeypecker, Vulva, Xcuses, Axolotl, Ghola, Orgasmatron, Rainelark, AverageDan, Krissi, Forthewin, Nellypaal, CystMaster, Retrospect, Redskieslookfake, Foolproof, Highvoltage900, MistressFist, and somewhere in there, ScourgeoftheSeas.
As a bonus for WTF I READ ALL THAT?!?!?, here's an Uber easter egg for you lot.
http://www.ubersite.com/stats/, which is the stats page of Uber.
http://www.ubersite.com//, which is the Uber directory
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/users, which is all users on Uber
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/stats.cgi, which is another stats page
Thank you all! 2006 coming up shortly!
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These are some pictures that remind me of Uber. In some way, shape or form, these represent Uber and its users.
PS: Urbane is lovely, isn't she?
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-12-19 09:02:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This stopped me sulking
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-18 20:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and I'm ACTUALLY sorry about DPM. It was a mistake, I lost the Internet for a while, very unfortunate.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-08-18 20:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew DPM would be in this. Sorry about that guys.
Um, I'm also the one who 'started' the South Park fad... Tony just made it BIG.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66217
You better officially correct yourself.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-08-18 19:48:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-18 16:51:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
love those floppy Urbanes
------
I KNOW i still have that picture SOMEwhere in my hard drive. Let's get wiggles to post it again.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-08-18 17:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-05-18 16:30:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-18 16:19:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever happened to High Voltage 7209?
==========
He said he was leaving. He did. He never returned. Sometimes, I cry.
--------
So I was missed.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-18 16:51:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
love those floppy Urbanes
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-15 00:07:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who wrote this post?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-19 11:31:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89321
Submitted by JumpingJax (user info) at 2006-05-18 17:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, Urbane's cunt. What a day.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-05-18 16:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-18 16:19:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever happened to High Voltage 7209?
==========
He said he was leaving. He did. He never returned. Sometimes, I cry.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-05-18 16:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatever happened to High Voltage 7209?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-05-09 11:29:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh I forgot you're the one who did this.
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-04-12 17:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"His poor apology merited THE greatest hate post in the history of Uber, by Ingsoc: I love electro, and you should too http://ubersite.com/m/60691 2/26/05. This is the ultimate hate post, covering every single base.
He tore Electro apart in vicious hatery, and set the example of hate posts everywhere. Electro's response was to stare at the pretty flowers on the wall."
How did I miss this? I'm glad that didn't go overlooked.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-01 18:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-01 03:09:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
How the fuck did I miss this?
Thanks for the props, sex muffin.
====
You know it, cutie pie.
Submitted by dirtycyberdawg (user info) at 2006-04-01 10:40:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent post
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-04-01 03:09:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How the fuck did I miss this?
Thanks for the props, sex muffin.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-09 18:30:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberhistory: Shlongs and Vulvas, 2005 (finally not nsfw HighVoltage900) (2999 hits)
1 more...
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:45:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
11/11. The new 9/11 as far as I'm concerned...
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-09 10:25:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-08 13:36:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:03:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:58:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:37:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Captain Thorns 4/14 posted the Shlongy Dance http://www.ubersite.com/m/64272, which was first on Best Ever for a LONG time, until G-Prime decided to drop a +1bomb on it.
===============
IT FUCKING HAD TO BE DONE! THAT WHORESHIT DID NOT BELONG ON BEST EVER AND YOU KNOW IT, DERRICK!
-----
DO NOT TAKE MY NAME IN VAIN, COCKJOCKEY!
================================================================
Frankly, I can't disagree with G-Prime's decision. Why that particular post got solid +2s for nigh on a full YEAR is beyond me. It was one of my early n00bish desperate attempts at name-dropping for attention. And certainly not more than a 1.0 post in my opinion.
But what the hell man, the Uber population made its decision...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
THANK YOU. You say you can't disagree with my decision, but I bet that secretly you're kind of pissed off for ruining your luck.
==============================================
No, not really....honestly, like I said, I had no idea until this post that it was ever ON the "Best Of" list, much less at the top. So I don't care. :p
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-08 18:38:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WE'RE NUMBER 1:
Everything you ever wanted to know about Shlongy
User id: 10879
Registered on or around: 2004-08-02 17:37:55
# Messages posted: 99
# Reviews written: 20000 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 7087
# Hits: 154668
Average rating of all messages: 0.24
Now THAT'S historic.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-03-08 15:03:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
:-(
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-03-08 14:02:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't count.
:(
good thing you're funny...
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-08 13:36:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:03:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:58:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:37:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Captain Thorns 4/14 posted the Shlongy Dance http://www.ubersite.com/m/64272, which was first on Best Ever for a LONG time, until G-Prime decided to drop a +1bomb on it.
===============
IT FUCKING HAD TO BE DONE! THAT WHORESHIT DID NOT BELONG ON BEST EVER AND YOU KNOW IT, DERRICK!
-----
DO NOT TAKE MY NAME IN VAIN, COCKJOCKEY!
================================================================
Frankly, I can't disagree with G-Prime's decision. Why that particular post got solid +2s for nigh on a full YEAR is beyond me. It was one of my early n00bish desperate attempts at name-dropping for attention. And certainly not more than a 1.0 post in my opinion.
But what the hell man, the Uber population made its decision...
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
THANK YOU. You say you can't disagree with my decision, but I bet that secretly you're kind of pissed off for ruining your luck.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-08 09:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2006-03-07 19:46:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Really super...but...
You only inspired me to write the post about why boobs are great, not those insanely wonderful fashion tips.
-----
YOU'RE BACK!
I think you should post.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-03-08 02:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i appreciate being included in this post (i knew i posted too much crap)
but you...and EVERYONE else has failed to even mention the name of the best,
in my opinion, writer on this site:
Everything you ever wanted to know about jack11058
User id: 11440
Registered on or around: 2004-08-19 22:01:18
# Messages posted: 95
# Reviews written: 2522
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 1974
# Hits: 92461
Average rating of all messages: 1.77
now...fix it!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-03-08 00:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i think i was the first person to ever post that damned rabbit pic.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-03-08 00:21:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Even if you DID get the title wrong. It's, 'A Peace Offering To Dripping_Abcess'
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-03-08 00:18:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because that post of mine got mentioned. I was always somewhat amused by it. And that is important, damnit.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:03:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:58:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:37:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Captain Thorns 4/14 posted the Shlongy Dance http://www.ubersite.com/m/64272, which was first on Best Ever for a LONG time, until G-Prime decided to drop a +1bomb on it.
===============
IT FUCKING HAD TO BE DONE! THAT WHORESHIT DID NOT BELONG ON BEST EVER AND YOU KNOW IT, DERRICK!
-----
DO NOT TAKE MY NAME IN VAIN, COCKJOCKEY!
================================================================
Frankly, I can't disagree with G-Prime's decision. Why that particular post got solid +2s for nigh on a full YEAR is beyond me. It was one of my early n00bish desperate attempts at name-dropping for attention. And certainly not more than a 1.0 post in my opinion.
But what the hell man, the Uber population made its decision...
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-07 19:48:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Badass.
Submitted by RaineLark (user info) at 2006-03-07 19:46:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Really super...but...
You only inspired me to write the post about why boobs are great, not those insanely wonderful fashion tips.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-03-07 19:02:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by dubya (user info) at 2006-03-07 18:18:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
omfg i knew tiger lily leg got bitten by a shark
it was like jaws
da shark be like
suprize bitch!
and she be like
GO BEARS WOahhhhhhhhhhhhhAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
MAH LEG NOT BE DERE NO MORE
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2006-03-07 18:10:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sheesh what do you have to do around here to get onto a list?
"Sniff"
God knows ive tried "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps"
Well done anyways, but no mention of me hurts my ego. Oh my god i just realised im not a prominent member of UBER "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
Meh that might be a good thing.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 18:01:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's a direct correlation in how many people hate you and how many lists you get put on in Uberland.
Let that be a lesson to all you ass kissers out there.
Submitted by no_one (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are probably by far the most bored at work...
Everything I ever wanted to know.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:19:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow I was quiet that year...
*cough cough*
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:10:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
60005 hits
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:05:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"On March 7th Filthy Assistant posted Nature: It's fucked up http://www.ubersite.com/m/61429, which was put up on B@W and is now one of the most viewed posts."
Heh, holy shit, I hadn't even noticed. There's only one decent joke in it too.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:04:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AND I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE 4 POSTS ON THE BEST EVER PAGE AND ONE THAT ISN'T...ALL WITHIN THE LAST YEAR AND STILL NO MENTION....ITS YOUR FAULT MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK...YOU'RE THE ONE THAT HAS PISSED ME OFF
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am a prominent people?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:58:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:37:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Captain Thorns 4/14 posted the Shlongy Dance http://www.ubersite.com/m/64272, which was first on Best Ever for a LONG time, until G-Prime decided to drop a +1bomb on it.
===============
IT FUCKING HAD TO BE DONE! THAT WHORESHIT DID NOT BELONG ON BEST EVER AND YOU KNOW IT, DERRICK!
-----
DO NOT TAKE MY NAME IN VAIN, COCKJOCKEY!
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:52:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:23:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:52:26 (#)
Ranking: 1
WOOOO! Name officially DROPPED!
************
Oops, forgot HV name dropped me in a post.
And to quote Confuzitron - "When the fuck did I become a prominent user?"
----
I believe that you have thought "Wow. I am a respected member of Uber" though.
Don't doubt my memory to recall stupid and pointless things.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:49:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"This was when she claimed that all Habeeb has ever done was cartoon pornography. Not so! Read his third post."
That made me laugh out loud. I LOL'ed for you, you bastard!
But the rest of it is weak sauce. FAC never does anything noteworthy, apparently.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo! I got mentioned twice!
No mention of the start of Awkward hand Turkey Theatre, but meh, whaare ya gonna do, right? It's no big thang.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:38:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, people started saying "sauce." Long story, which even I don't get
-------------------------------------
iNDEED
THIS STILL GIVES ME NIGHTMARES
WEEEEEEEEEEEP
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:37:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Captain Thorns 4/14 posted the Shlongy Dance http://www.ubersite.com/m/64272, which was first on Best Ever for a LONG time, until G-Prime decided to drop a +1bomb on it.
===============
IT FUCKING HAD TO BE DONE! THAT WHORESHIT DID NOT BELONG ON BEST EVER AND YOU KNOW IT, DERRICK!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:46:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well put young man
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:21:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I still like these.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:51:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yes...for you obviously deliberate omission of me
i'm sorry but i have an ego to uphold you know
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:47:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:30:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
hate
---------
Hate me?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:30:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hate
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:24:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, has anyone heard from Blitz_Bob? Haven't seen his name 'round here lately. Was he banned for toasting again?
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:23:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:52:26 (#)
Ranking: 1
WOOOO! Name officially DROPPED!
************
Oops, forgot HV name dropped me in a post.
And to quote Confuzitron - "When the fuck did I become a prominent user?"
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:21:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DAMN IT!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84953#1870973
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow I was quiet that year...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:58:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was unaware there were more Urbane shots.
I always thought it was just the one.
---
There were four of them. Two of her breasts, two of her vulv. I got em all.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-07 13:04:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:18:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
When the fuck did I become a prominent user?
----------------
I don't remember what I was gonna say, but I copied this out of all the reviews I just read.
Go figure.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:58:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was unaware there were more Urbane shots.
I always thought it was just the one.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:54:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:04:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
All of the pictures on the web site were snapped between 1980-83.
I was only 5 years old then.
---------------------
---------------------
---------------------
WHOA!!! WAIT A MINUTE, THAT WOULD PUT YOU IN YOUR LATE 20'S.
I thought you were an old man. Is Shlongy a fake?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Transformer, too.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:41:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:32:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:29:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:16:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not sure where you work, but blocked out nips on an otherwise nekkid picture really aren't that SFW.
-------
I had to make it sfw because HV requested it.
---
Well to be frank, I also knew that Urbane was coming up and I just didn't want to have to see that.
But I had never seen the other Urbane pics, just the infamous one.
---------
I have the uncensored ones on my hard drive if you're interested.
...Simply for the purposes of archiving Uber.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:41:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"skate it off"
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice!
I'm grateful I'm not on here because it means that I didn't public do anything stupid.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:32:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:29:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:16:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not sure where you work, but blocked out nips on an otherwise nekkid picture really aren't that SFW.
-------
I had to make it sfw because HV requested it.
---
Well to be frank, I also knew that Urbane was coming up and I just didn't want to have to see that.
But I had never seen the other Urbane pics, just the infamous one.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:31:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:22:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Urbane decided to leave us, sparing us from months of drama revolving around her chubby box.
__________________________
If only.
---------
Well, she came back a bit. Hopefully she's out and banned.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:16:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not sure where you work, but blocked out nips on an otherwise nekkid picture really aren't that SFW.
-------
I had to make it sfw because HV requested it.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:27:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:26:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:16:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Speaking of which - WTF is the deal with no Shenanigan Pie mention? That was HUGE on Uber for a long time, for both the O-Man and me... http://www.ubersite.com/m/79919
---
The man makes a killer point here.
No one brought the house down quite like Thorns with his version of this song.
I'm listening to it now, and I'm seriously just about ready to impregnate my boxers.
---
*adds to ipod*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:26:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:16:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Speaking of which - WTF is the deal with no Shenanigan Pie mention? That was HUGE on Uber for a long time, for both the O-Man and me... http://www.ubersite.com/m/79919
---
The man makes a killer point here.
No one brought the house down quite like Thorns with his version of this song.
I'm listening to it now, and I'm seriously just about ready to impregnate my boxers.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:25:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:18:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just skimmed it so far but you had two of squattail's alters in there.
----------
Who? Carol Richards and Dripping Abcess?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:24:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nahhhhh...I never feel like a douchebag. I love myself too much.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:22:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Urbane decided to leave us, sparing us from months of drama revolving around her chubby box.
__________________________
If only.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:20:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:15:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
I had him on the short list of perpetrators, Sphag. I think it was fuckface who was also calling my house every twenty minutes for a day or two, also.
-----
I remember you saying that I was on that list as well. I bet you felt like a fucking douchebag after that?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:19:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:15:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
I had him on the short list of perpetrators, Sphag. I think it was fuckface who was also calling my house every twenty minutes for a day or two, also.
----
No matter how much you like PFF, you have to admit he has no life outside Uber.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:16:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.boredatwork.com/bart_barts_secret_menu.cgi
---
I have absolutely no idea what this means, but I'm laughing at it insanely.
---
Me too. The "No Girls Allowed, that means you Michael Jackson" had me cracking up.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just skimmed it so far but you had two of squattail's alters in there.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:18:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When the fuck did I become a prominent user?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:16:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.boredatwork.com/bart_barts_secret_menu.cgi
---
I have absolutely no idea what this means, but I'm laughing at it insanely.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:15:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had him on the short list of perpetrators, Sphag. I think it was fuckface who was also calling my house every twenty minutes for a day or two, also.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:13:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:04:40 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:56:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just remember who scored you the snatch.
===========
Oh sure, mention snatch and THEN my name comes up. It's fine, I enjoy superficial attention, too.
If O offers me, then it's me you shall have, Ax. My ass shall bounce with glee, indeed.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:12:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:50:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Swampy posted the original personal info link...who knows which coward posted the rest of the shit.
It was probably wildcat...he's a spineless asshole so there's a chance it was him.
----
It was Fuckface who posted that.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:08:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:06:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
retrospect has one helluva shot at becoming the next jgreening of Uber.
BTW, that's not a compliment, Slick.
----
What, the fat, lazy, internet-obsessed tattletale guy that everyone makes fun of?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:06:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
retrospect has one helluva shot at becoming the next jgreening of Uber.
BTW, that's not a compliment, Slick.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:05:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:38:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
The Shlongy dance made me spit coffee onto my computer screen. I'd never seen that before.
==========================================================================================
Glad to be of assistance to you, Mr. Sorrell. :)
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:05:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatever you say Shlongy, what's the matter run out of toilet humour? Perhaps you are just not witty enough? I'm going home.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:04:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:56:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just remember who scored you the snatch.
Cross me and I'll have Urbane's shellfish-like stinkhole eat you alive.
-----
I'll have my flamethrower ready.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:04:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes! i'm on a list! but not only that, but its fun to read the different happpenings on this site that i wasn't around for.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:04:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All of the pictures on the web site were snapped between 1980-83.
I was only 5 years old then.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 12:01:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:55:39 (#)
Ranking: -2
Not ONE of those links at the bottom work, poindexter.
How the FUCK did you manage that?
---
They don't work, genius, because they have a comma on the end of them. This can be rectified by simply hitting backspace and deleting the comma in the address bar.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:59:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:50:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
Swampy posted the original personal info link...who knows which coward posted the rest of the shit.
-------
HAHAHAHAA IT WAS ME!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHA
No really, I was talking about Swampy. It's like he only covered half the story.
You have to admit though, it was a pretty funny picture he found of you. When was that taken?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just remember who scored you the snatch.
Cross me and I'll have Urbane's shellfish-like stinkhole eat you alive.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:56:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:34:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Sweet, I missed another.
Here's some real history for you: Jimthefiend didn't post Shlongy's info. That was just a speculation several people had. You need to either rewrite this or make a retraction since Jim didn't out Mr. Labia.
--------
Jimmy was still an asshole, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if he was the one behind the alter Bindlestiff, who was the one who posted it. As far as this is concerned, there is no proof, but because of their fight, I am fairly certain it was him.
Any reason you're sticking up for Jimthefiend?
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:55:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Not ONE of those links at the bottom work, poindexter.
How the FUCK did you manage that?
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:52:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:59:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Axol sat upon his throne and chronicled the Uber
While QueenAshlee sucked his nuts and he did Tiger's pooper
Standing by him Fist and Licious offered him their teats
Both his hands a-writing, Axol thought "this sure is neat."
One by one the womenz came and offered up their gifts
Each one knelt before him, faced away and rocked their hips
"Write your words upon our backs and make of us your tables"
Ax, so young, was full of spunk, and thus was more than able.
He filled them each with soul and spirit as his history
Unfolded on the parchment as their asses bounced with glee,
Thus he serviced all of them, and fucked each one in turn,
Emptying his nuts and mind so Uberites would learn.
Satisfied, reclining, Axol looked upon the mess:
His room a sea of ink and paper, tangled legs and breasts,
If you think that history is stupid, you're a fool,
Look what it got Axol...well done sir, here's a +2.
-----
haha
This is the greatest thing ever. I don't mean the greatest poem, but greatest THING. This is the greatest series of words, poem, sentences, lines, anything! that humanity has every created, ever.
Remember Uber ladiez - don't call the cops!
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:52:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
WOOOO! Name officially DROPPED!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:51:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
how could you leave Gellieman out of 2004?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:50:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Swampy posted the original personal info link...who knows which coward posted the rest of the shit.
It was probably wildcat...he's a spineless asshole so there's a chance it was him.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What about me? Huh? I even won one of your photoshop contests....
I am hurt.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:43:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:34:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:07:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, scourge is bringing up the rear on the list of notable users.
I'll say no more...
===
Cute
---
There is no greater scoure of the sea than a Rear Admiral.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:39:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I didn't realise that ETS was a n00b.
I guess you learn something new everyday.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:38:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Shlongy dance made me spit coffee onto my computer screen. I'd never seen that before.
Thanks for doing this, Axolotl. I'm sure it took quite a bit of time and effort.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:34:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great, now some other lonely idiot is going through my posts.
When are you fuckers going to learn?
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:34:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sweet, I missed another.
Here's some real history for you: Jimthefiend didn't post Shlongy's info. That was just a speculation several people had. You need to either rewrite this or make a retraction since Jim didn't out Mr. Labia.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:34:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:07:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh, scourge is bringing up the rear on the list of notable users.
I'll say no more...
===
Cute
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:33:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Unfortunately for this latest asshole, CHR15 or whatever the fuck his name is, isn't even interesting - or relevant - enough to continue arguing with.
Try again when you grow your first pube, Sparky.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:26:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cause it had my name in it.
seriously. it mattered that much.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:24:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Where did Princess ETS go?
Probably retaliating on some dipshit's 99th post.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:22:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for that upstart line, too, by the way. That didn't go unnoticed.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:16:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more Sacrilicious.
---
Why you little whore.
(I'm so proud of you)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:16:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more Sacrilicious.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:16:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Captain Thorns 4/14 posted the Shlongy Dance http://www.ubersite.com/m/64272, which was first on Best Ever for a LONG time, until G-Prime decided to drop a +1bomb on it."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Really? I wasn't even aware of that. I just know it's gotten a buttload of hits.
I'm surprised that you chose this post instead of the Rocky Horror Uber Show series (http://www.ubersite.com/m/71093), or one of my many music posts.
Speaking of which - WTF is the deal with no Shenanigan Pie mention? That was HUGE on Uber for a long time, for both the O-Man and me... http://www.ubersite.com/m/79919
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:16:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I am not sure where you work, but blocked out nips on an otherwise nekkid picture really aren't that SFW.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:15:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:02:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey fucktard...I'm only a septagenarian. I can still get wood.
Now pipe down until I give you permission to speak...again.
---------------------------
What a dog hears - BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH WOOD.
BLAH PIPE DOWN BLAH BLAH BLAH
What I heard - Hey my most excellent friend... I'm quite old. I can't get wood.
Now I realise you don't need my permission to speak, I apologise... again.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:08:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Once again, well done.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:08:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Some prominent people who signed up in 2005 were ... Nellypaal"
That's all I needed to see (!), but on behalf of the rest of Uber, let me just say 'yeah, right...'
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:07:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah...thanks for the trip down Mammary lane.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:07:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ratings mean nothing, you emo dickeater.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:06:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG! It's the ETS bomb
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:04:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin' ETS...I cannot think of anyone I'd like to give an open handed slap to - 9 times - more than that asshole.
Yeah, this deserved a -2. Crybaby.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:02:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey fucktard...I'm only a septagenarian. I can still get wood.
Now pipe down until I give you permission to speak...again.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think i've definitely given this post what it deserves.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:01:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ETS mustn't have turned any tricks last night.
Poor boy.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:49:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
----
Entirely expected. Still, I thought you might say SOMETHING.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-07 11:00:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's nice to have a shout out, but did you have to juxtapose it with habeeb's wrinkled bajiner?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Axol sat upon his throne and chronicled the Uber
While QueenAshlee sucked his nuts and he did Tiger's pooper
Standing by him Fist and Licious offered him their teats
Both his hands a-writing, Axol thought "this sure is neat."
One by one the womenz came and offered up their gifts
Each one knelt before him, faced away and rocked their hips
"Write your words upon our backs and make of us your tables"
Ax, so young, was full of spunk, and thus was more than able.
He filled them each with soul and spirit as his history
Unfolded on the parchment as their asses bounced with glee,
Thus he serviced all of them, and fucked each one in turn,
Emptying his nuts and mind so Uberites would learn.
Satisfied, reclining, Axol looked upon the mess:
His room a sea of ink and paper, tangled legs and breasts,
If you think that history is stupid, you're a fool,
Look what it got Axol...well done sir, here's a +2.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:52:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:49:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
-----
Someone has penis envy.....
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:49:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:48:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:45:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:31:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
---------
You suck at/on everything MF.
========
Har Har master fist wishes I did.
----
You have 'no fly' zones?
I'm disappointed in you...
*masturbates sadly*
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:31:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
---------
You suck at/on everything MF.
========
Har Har master fist wishes I did.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:43:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:25:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:19:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
how about you kiss my black ass Shlongy?
Who let the Negro in? Also, who told you you could even SPEAK to me?
Eat my shit, toddler.
-------------------------
I speak to octagenarians every day without permission micro penis, anyway I thought you were talking to me, hence the "my bad".
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:31:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:29:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Har Har super. Those badass characters I fucked, and also Teen guide were fun posts to write. Too bad I suck at life now.
---------
You suck at/on everything MF.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:30:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:29:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Har Har super. Those badass characters I fucked, and also Teen guide were fun posts to write. Too bad I suck at life now.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Soory, chief. Here's your +2 for kicking ass with this series.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:25:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:19:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
how about you kiss my black ass Shlongy?
Who let the Negro in? Also, who told you you could even SPEAK to me?
Eat my shit, toddler.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:22:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my bad..
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:21:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:18:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
You gotta love it when the fucking idiot/alters screw up when logged on under two names.
Can you say DIPSHIT???
---
Can you say I'M FUCKING WITH ALL OF YOU?
no one outs their alter that many times. come on already.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:21:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh yes shlongy...you've got me...i am a dipshit
all hail king slueth
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:21:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What! No mention of my former alter ego?
2005 was a huge year for MJ:
1. Bart testifies http://www.ubersite.com/m/65816 & http://www.ubersite.com/m/66048
2. First alter to get on bored at work http://www.ubersite.com/m/67599
3. Found innocent of wrong doings http://www.ubersite.com/m/68491
4. Kicked out of Uber madness and sexually harrassed by William Q Percy http://www.ubersite.com/m/71008
5. Found Bart's menu for editing bored at work http://www.ubersite.com/m/73265 & http://www.boredatwork.com/bart_barts_secret_menu.cgi
6. Fake banning http://www.ubersite.com/m/76209 & http://www.ubersite.com/m/78145
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:21:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-08-04 18:30:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-08-04 17:20:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
It would be nice to be important enough to have a hate post, like this, made about me one day.
----------
This IS about you....bahahahaah!
------
HAHA! What a retard.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LEILANI TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME! SHE PROMISED!!!!
OMG I AM TEH GHEY! I HAD CYBER SEX WITH BAMF!!!! NOOOES!
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:19:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how about you kiss my black ass Shlongy?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:18:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You gotta love it when the fucking idiot/alters screw up when logged on under two names.
Can you say DIPSHIT???
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:17:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I just finally realized what is wrong with this series.
It's good, and you exhaustively researched it, but this is a bit like me hearing about the history of baseball from a monster Yankees fan... I think if I were to do the same thing, it would wind up with me having the same number of posts per installment as you, but maybe two or three of them total in common because the interesting stuff happening on Ubersite to me is just not the same interesting stuff happening on Ubersite to you.
Of course, that doesn't mean I wouldn't have listed the Urbane drama.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:17:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was on the fucking phone with customer service as I was reading this, and I had to hold the phone away from my mouth because I burst out laughing several times
You really did a great fucking job with this
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:17:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:16:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
tools the lot of you.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:15:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:08:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe you forgot me AND Leilani. You got something against NJ? Dude this was pretty disappointing indeed.
------
*snickers*
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:14:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:08:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't believe you forgot me AND Leilani. You got something against NJ? Dude this was pretty disappointing indeed.
----
badassmofo let it slip.
Oops right?
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Badass is right, you know?
Why didn't he get a mention? That's pretty fucked, considering he has about 180 posts and 200,000 hits.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:12:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sunblock gave me far more attention than I deserved.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:12:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2005