Different Types of Penis (SFW) (5948 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.39 on 113 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MistressFist <mistressfist.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-03-07 14:35:44 EST
In my never-ending quest of sluthood, I have been both delighted and disappointed at the abundance of varied penis on this planet. Gather 'round kids, Mama Fist is going to talk to you about the many splendid varieties of cock.
The Pretty Penis: This is the kind of dick that girls love to gobble. And they swallow too. Most girls will only encounter one of these dicks, and it will probably be the best lay of your life too. It is big, perfectly tubular and the spunk tastes like cotton candy, rainbows and babies.
The Downer's Dong (or AKA Electroeous Engorgeous): This is the kind of cock that every man wishes he could have, but God thought it would be funny to give it to a retard instead. It's large, in charge, and because the owner of downer dong is retarded, it is perfectly acceptable to beat off into your green beans during dinner at the group home. This is also the type of dong that made we wish I raped a few crazies during my jaunt as a group home counselor.
The Flip-Flop Penis: The owner of this penis is a staunch Republican, but his penis is a Liberal. Wait for it....do you get it.....great. If not, shoot your dick off for being an idiot.
The Mexican Poncho: This goes for all Latino penis. Aren't they the same anyway? Fucking small, but fat, and a lot of cheesy foreskin. Don't ask how I know it either.
The Black Attack: I've heard that for me, it would be like a rag doll on the end of a flagpole. I've never gone black (I'm married now...missed opportunities...sigh). The advantage is that the guy can not only fuck you, but be robbing a bank down the street at the same time. They can also pick locks with their junk. Only very big, urbanesque locks though.
The Asian Non-Invasion: Yep, it doesn't even feel like you're getting fucked. It's pointless really. Don't bother.
The Yeti: This penis usually ends up being sizable...if you can get to it. After rooting through layers of pubic hair, you may come across this crown jewel. But don't put it in your mouth, unless you want to puke a Fluffy the Cat sized hairball on his stomach.
The Cherubic Surprise: This dick may not be long, but boy is it girthy!
The Dowel-Thin Penis: It sucks. Don't fuck tall skinny guys.
Here's some cupcakes.
User Reviews
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-11-05 03:37:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Asian Non-Invasion: Yep, it doesn't even feel like you're getting fucked. It's pointless really. Don't bother.
Aww.
This must be a disheartening post for someone who's not very well-endowed. I feel bad giving it a +2.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-07-20 23:41:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Little boys never complain that I'm too small.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-07-20 23:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
touch me where I pee, mistress
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2006-07-20 21:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
funny, ya dirty bird
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-04-21 10:50:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is even funnier coming back to it the second time.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-06 12:11:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
for some reason this was sitting in the info bar of my browser, i didn't bookmark it either... weird.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:55:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I know mine does.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:42:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Genitalia in and of itself is not aesthetically attractive. Neither the cunt nor the cock can equal the visual beauty of a perfectly sculpted breast, a full set of lips, a toned set of abs, etc. However we attach beauty to it because of its connotations of pleasure.
That being said, I find the penis quite charming. It has personality, don't you think?
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:35:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hawt!
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2006-03-13 20:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate myself for being able to picture each of these, and the particular experience that went with
(except for the black and asian, I only go caucasian)
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2006-03-12 18:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot the really nasty colored ones... the ones that are puke greenish-gray.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-12 17:21:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"...the spunk tastes like cotton candy, rainbows and babies."
What the fuck DOES a baby taste like?
yuck
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-03-12 17:09:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:32:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like to smear petri dishes on my girl-slit.
______________
As we speak, I pray that they're filled with culture-colonies of Ebola Virus.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-10 09:47:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm kidding Shlongy. I would idolize you and make your coffee. I would also clean up your dog's poop and "get rid" of that hooker you've been banging, so your wifey doesn't find out.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-09 23:08:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The spunk tastes like cotton candy, rainbows and babies.
____________________
You've eaten babies too, huh?
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2006-03-09 22:57:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oooh ... maca-ma-damia nuts.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart's Dog Gets an F
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-03-09 22:20:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought of having different types of penis but was afraid I'd lose my Allen Wrench.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-03-09 21:57:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-09 17:28:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-09 17:18:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-09 16:51:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
You gonna blow him? That's usually the first way to "break in a new boss". keep me posted.
==========
I'm looking for a job. You hiring? I'm used to working for tiny-peckered, rich, demanding bald asswipes. We might make a good team.
Gee - I don't usually "team up" with broads who insult me 7 times in a 23 word sentence.
---
Unless I suddenly forgot how to count thats 5 times my good sir, and that's counting tiny-peckered as 2 words.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-03-09 21:37:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
holy shit! a post where you actually wrote something that involved thought. even if that thought is just reflecting on how many mexicans and retards you fucked, it's still thought. i'm shocked and minorly impressed. way to go!
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-03-09 19:34:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I delight in the thought of your demise.
Good day.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-09 17:28:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-09 17:18:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-09 16:51:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
You gonna blow him? That's usually the first way to "break in a new boss". keep me posted.
==========
I'm looking for a job. You hiring? I'm used to working for tiny-peckered, rich, demanding bald asswipes. We might make a good team.
Gee - I don't usually "team up" with broads who insult me 7 times in a 23 word sentence.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:40:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
if you ever do one of these again make sure and tell me so i can provide visuals.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-03-08 02:26:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Cherubic Surprise: This dick may not be long, but boy is it girthy!
Thats me.
Submitted by ThatOneGirl (user info) at 2006-03-07 19:29:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Tastes like babies? That has some horrible child-molester overtones...
Submitted by Shaystar (user info) at 2006-03-07 19:20:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmm
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cupcakes
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-03-07 18:24:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:55:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:32:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just got home and this is still going...nice work.
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:32:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yea you tell her adam, she could at least be unintentionally funny like you, tardo.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:23:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
amazingly unfunny
Can we get some effort?
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Better to beat of in the veggies then in a fruit...
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:20:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:19:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. Fist is either a sadist or a lucky fellow. I haven't quite decided.
And by the way...that's the nicest way I've ever been called a retard.
=================
You beat off in your green beans too?
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:19:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mr. Fist is either a sadist or a lucky fellow. I haven't quite decided.
And by the way...that's the nicest way I've ever been called a retard.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I would love to piss and shit on my boss. I'm doing just that in about 1 month or so when I quit this fucking terrible job.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:06:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:02:34 (#)
Ranking: 0
Dunno HV just been quiet lately..
-----
I MISSED YOU WHEN YOU WERE GONE!
THOSE ARE ABOUT THE TIMES I MISS PUPPY!
SCOURGE YOU ARE A WORTHLESS GIRL WHO I PISS ON WHEN I DON'T FEEL LIKE WALKING ALL THE WAY TO THE TOILET BECAUSE YOUR FACE IS THE SAME THING!
IT'S A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE SHIT AND PISS!
LIKE YOUR BOSS!
YOU LIKE IT YOU FUCKING BITCH ASS WHORE!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 17:02:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dunno HV just been quiet lately..
You and Scourge should kiss and make up now.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:58:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU SACK OF GENITAL WART INFESTED PENII. I'LL RAM A BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR MANGY, SCRAWNY ASS YOUR BREATH WILL SMELL LIKE MY FOOT. I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU
I'LL FUCKING KILL YOUR ASS
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:56:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:52:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
HV you need to smoke some kindbud and chill the fuck out, yo! Or get your sassy lady to rub one out for you.
----
MF WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU HAVE BEEN UNUSUALLY QUIET RECENTLY!
IT MAKES ME ANGRY!
RRRRRRGH!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:52:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HV you need to smoke some kindbud and chill the fuck out, yo! Or get your sassy lady to rub one out for you.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:46:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
HV, chill out on the 'roids, will you. They will make you strong, but fuck with your dong.
----
I WOULD BE COMPASSIONATE BUT I AM SO ANGRY ALL OF THE TIME!
I TRIED TO HUG A PUPPY BUT I ACCIDENTLY CRUSHED IT TO DEATH!
I MISS THAT PUPPY! I MISS IT WHEN I AM NOT SO ANGRY!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:46:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HV, chill out on the 'roids, will you. They will make you strong, but fuck with your dong.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:44:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:35:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Take it outside kids! Roll around in the dirt like men and get aroused. <cue gay anal montage>
----
SHUT THE FUCK UP MF! YOU SHOULD BE TO BUSY FELATING AN ITALIAN AUTISTIC RETARD TO TALK!
I WILL FUCK YOUR ASS WITH A RAZOR SHARP DILDO!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:35:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Take it outside kids! Roll around in the dirt like men and get aroused. <cue gay anal montage>
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:34:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:22:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE DID THAT SON OF A BITCH GO?
I'M FUCKING RILED UP HERE
-----
SHUT THE FUCK UP SCOURGE! YOUR MOUTH IS MOVING BUT ALL I HEAR IS A LITTLE GIRL SCREAMING 'WAAAAAAAAAAH! THE BAD MAN TOUCHED MY NO-NO!"
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:26:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:22:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WHERE DID THAT SON OF A BITCH GO?
I'M FUCKING RILED UP HERE
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:17:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's exactly what I thought. Thanks for the confirmation!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:06:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:55:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:47:33 (#)
Ranking: 1
"he Dowel-Thin Penis: It sucks. Don't fuck tall skinny guys."
actually, I have been with black, white, tan, yellow, etc.
and i have to admit, the tall skinny white guys have the biggest and the best.
----
Expect this to be published in every major newspaper in every White majority country everywhere.
We (the tall skiny white guy community) WILL HOLD ONTO THIS FACT FOR ALL OF TIME!
-=-------
Woooo I'm a tall skinny white guy wooo
Submitted by Vomitoxin_AKA_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:05:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MY PENIS IS AN INNIE!!!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:03:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmm, you have teh sexy eyebrows
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 16:02:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:50:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not sure which catagory my inchworm falls into. How 'bout a little help here?
================
It doesn't matter honey, you're rich.
Submitted by _Aries_ (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:59:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:50:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:47:33 (#)
Ranking: 1
"he Dowel-Thin Penis: It sucks. Don't fuck tall skinny guys."
actually, I have been with black, white, tan, yellow, etc.
and i have to admit, the tall skinny white guys have the biggest and the best.
I do like the black man's bubble butt, though.
==========
Slore. Nigger/Chink/Spic/Gringo fucking slore.
___________
HAHAHAHA SOMEONE'S JEALOUS
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:55:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:47:33 (#)
Ranking: 1
"he Dowel-Thin Penis: It sucks. Don't fuck tall skinny guys."
actually, I have been with black, white, tan, yellow, etc.
and i have to admit, the tall skinny white guys have the biggest and the best.
----
Expect this to be published in every major newspaper in every White majority country everywhere.
We (the tall skiny white guy community) WILL HOLD ONTO THIS FACT FOR ALL OF TIME!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:50:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not sure which catagory my inchworm falls into. How 'bout a little help here?
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:50:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:47:33 (#)
Ranking: 1
"he Dowel-Thin Penis: It sucks. Don't fuck tall skinny guys."
actually, I have been with black, white, tan, yellow, etc.
and i have to admit, the tall skinny white guys have the biggest and the best.
I do like the black man's bubble butt, though.
==========
Slore. Nigger/Chink/Spic/Gringo fucking slore.
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:47:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"he Dowel-Thin Penis: It sucks. Don't fuck tall skinny guys."
actually, I have been with black, white, tan, yellow, etc.
and i have to admit, the tall skinny white guys have the biggest and the best.
I do like the black man's bubble butt, though.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:46:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
All this time I thought you were an abstinent angel of god, and now I find out that you've been on more dicks than herpes? My world is shattered.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:39:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:37:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Those are my astrological signs, cockheap, not my horoscope.
===
Same supertitious bullshit.
Anyway, I'm bored...I will go elsewhere.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:37:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Those are my astrological signs, cockheap, not my horoscope.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:36:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Curse you god for making me this way!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:36:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:31:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:29:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
MISTRESSFIST SAYS SHE'S HAPPILY MARRIED YET SHE ADMITTEDLY READS HER HOROSCOPE, AN INDICATOR THAT SHE HASN'T BEEN PROPERLY FUCKED IN YEARS!!!
=================
This stellar scientific thought process brought to you by: The Canadian Board of Edumacation
I actually rarely read my horoscope. Mostly for fun if I come across it in the paper.
===
WEREN'T YOU THE ONE WHO WERE SAYING ON YOUR T.M.I. GAY ASS INTERVIEW "I'M A CANCER WITH A LEO RISING BLAH BLEE BLOH"!? YES IT WAS, COCKRACK! I BET YOU HAVEN'T WET YOUR PANTIES FOR SO LONG THAT YOUR VAGINA WOULD EXCRATE 'LAUGHING COW' CHEESE.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:35:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck is taurine?
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
OH NO, CAUL DID YOUR CAPS LOCK BUTTON GET STUCK TOO....BITCH ISN'T IT?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*snickers to self* Oh I am loving these reviews.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:31:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:29:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
MISTRESSFIST SAYS SHE'S HAPPILY MARRIED YET SHE ADMITTEDLY READS HER HOROSCOPE, AN INDICATOR THAT SHE HASN'T BEEN PROPERLY FUCKED IN YEARS!!!
=================
This stellar scientific thought process brought to you by: The Canadian Board of Edumacation
I actually rarely read my horoscope. Mostly for fun if I come across it in the paper.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:29:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MISTRESSFIST SAYS SHE'S HAPPILY MARRIED YET SHE ADMITTEDLY READS HER HOROSCOPE, AN INDICATOR THAT SHE HASN'T BEEN PROPERLY FUCKED IN YEARS!!!
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:27:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's cool Sicosemen, thanks for the inspiration!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:27:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:26:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry, meant to +2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:26:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry fistress.... but I have to do a worthless link whore to the original...hey you did it to me...still good stuff.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84958 spawned from here.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
SHUT UP WHORE, WE'RE GIVING YOU HITS OR HEAT OR CLAMYDIA OR SOMETHING
EITHER WAY SHUT YOUR FACEHOLE
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:23:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AUTO +2 COCK
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:23:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stop fighting you little runny cunt drips!
Submitted by _Aries_ (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:23:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucked a dead cow once.
OK, twice.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:21:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:15:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
taurine semen? That's got to be good for you.
===
YES, IT GIVES A BOOST TO YOUR PARTNER! IT'S GREAT! ESPECIALLY FOR YOU ANGLOPHONES SINCE HAVING SEX WITH YOUR WOMEN FEELS LIKE FUCKING A DEAD COW.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:20:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JOKES ON YOU DIPSHIT....MY MOM DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A RECTUM...BUT KEEP TRYING BECAUSE ONE DAY, BY THE GRACE OF GOD, YOU'LL BE FUNNY
OR DEAD...WHATEVER
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:17:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HE KNOWS WHY CAUL, HE KNOWS WHY
SO YOURE GONNA FUCK MY MOM HUH? YOU GOD DAMN BITCH, I'LL STOMP YOUR NUTSAC FOR THAT SHIT MAN. I'LL JACKHAMMER YOUR MOMS RECTUM, YOU KNOW, GIVE HER WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS AND LIKES.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:17:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i was wondering how long this would be...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:15:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
taurine semen? That's got to be good for you.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:15:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK YOU MOTHER, THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:14:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn straight I'm threatening you cockgobbler. What the fuck are you gonna do about it?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:13:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:09:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Why don't you shut the fuck up badass? Seriously man. I'd like to put five across the side of your head you fucking asshole.
===
What's your beef with badass? Are you jealous of his RedBull cock?
p.s. I tried it. His semen is loaded with taurine!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:01:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I'm attractive both inside and out.
===
As long as you believe it, that's all that matters.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:12:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ARE YOU THREATENING ME, BUNGHOLE?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:09:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why don't you shut the fuck up badass? Seriously man. I'd like to put five across the side of your head you fucking asshole.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm gonna keep my opinions to myself on this one.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:09:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:06:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
See, you have to find the right balance of girth and length.
I got damn lucky, like Goldielocks on the 3rd try.
It was JUST RIGHT!
============================
Me too!
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:06:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See, you have to find the right balance of girth and length.
I got damn lucky, like Goldielocks on the 3rd try.
It was JUST RIGHT!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:02:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
GIRTH BITCHES....CAN YOU SAY REDBULL CAN
OH AND CAUL...THAT WAS SOME FUNNY SHIT
DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT MY FUCKING CAP LOCKS BUTTON IS STUCK BECAUSE TOM GOT ME SO ANGRY
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:01:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tall skinny guy, that must feel like rolling poop down the hallway in a pringles can....
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:01:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I gotta tell ya, I just don't give a shit. I like my vagina, I'm happily married, and I think I'm attractive both inside and out. So keep flinging the insults if you need to expend energy in that manner, at least I'm getting hits out of it.
Submitted by weasul (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:00:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, I have found that tall and skinny is the way to go. Not all are dowel thin.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:00:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Caul you want to see guys critiquing vaginas? Look down the list. It was submitted before, this is a reply of sorts.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-03-07 15:00:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Penis penis.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:57:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:53:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet your vagina is ugly and feels like fucking raw pork liver. :-D
=====
HOLY SHIT!
No offense to you Fistress, but the shear meanness in that comment was delightful.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:57:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:55:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet your vagina is ugly and feels like fucking raw pork liver. :-D
==============
And you'll never be lucky enough to find out.
_______________
I've seen your picture. I wouldn't qualify this as luck but more like a mishap.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:55:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet your vagina is ugly and feels like fucking raw pork liver. :-D
==============
And you'll never be lucky enough to find out.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:55:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I hear I have a pretty penis :-)
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fortunately, I am pretty satisfied with the dick God gave me...and so do women.
But I believe in equality and women always criticizes penises, like they are exempted from criticism of their own genitals. I wonder if they ever do an instropection of their vaginas.
Not all vaginas are all pink, shaved and neat, you know? In fact, many women fall in one of those caterogy:
- Huge or ugly dark labia
- Huge clitoris that looks like a baby's penis
- Smells rancid no matter how many times the girl washes it
- Not neatly trimmed
- Under developped kegel muslces which feels like you're fucking the Channel Tunnel. It also indicates your partner should be incontinent at age 35.
- Some girls produce some kind of thick weird margarine-like lubricant which is disgusting
- Urbane
And many more...
I bet your vagina is ugly and feels like fucking raw pork liver. :-D
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:50:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 for, of course:
Fluffy the Cat!!!!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:49:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funnier
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:48:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn this Dowel-Thin!
<Shakes fist at nature and heredity>
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:45:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:40:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA
Now give me a cupcake, you bitch!!!!
===============
mmmmm....leilani...lay on me.....<splooge>
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:45:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
B@W
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:43:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:43:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Made me laugh....and categorize.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:43:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shit, +2 my own post. Crap.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:42:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I only dropped Electro's name. He probably has the biggest dick on Uber. REALLY.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:41:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done, however, I agree with HV in that you should have named dropped.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:40:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA
Now give me a cupcake, you bitch!!!!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:39:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The Pretty Penis"
-
I'm reminded of a friend of mine from high school who confessed to wearing pleather pants because they "make my dick look pretty."
It was the phrasing more than the behavior that worried me.
As such, it has stayed in my mind.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:39:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
youre insane
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-07 14:39:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh how I smiled.
You didn't name drop though, how sad!