The Story of Jimmy, The Oddly Self-Aware Idiot Who Learns From His Mistakes (1075 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: storyof...
Rating: 0.75 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spencer Thompson (View user info) at 2006-03-07 22:57:46 EST
-We begin our tale with Jimmy, the Oddly Self-Aware Idiot Who Learns From His Mistakes, looking outside his window as it rains-
"I want to go outside and play in the rain!" says Jimmy.
And so he walks outside in his t-shirt and grabs a golf club and swings it wildly about. He provokes a large dog. The large dog mauls him.
"I shouldn't provoke large dogs with golf clubs!" says Jimmy.
-Our tale resumes at a later time with Jimmy, the Oddly Self Aware Idiot Who Learns From His Mistakes, looking outside his window as it rains-
"I want to go outside and play in the rain," says Jimmy, "but I won't provoke any large dogs because they will maul me!"
And so he walks outside in his t-shirt and grabs a golf club and swings it wildly about, at nothing in particular. He is struck by lightning.
"Golf clubs act as conductors for lightning when it is raining out, so I should never play with a golf club in the rain!" says Jimmy.
-Our tale continues with Jimmy, the Oddly Self Aware Idiot Who Learns From His Mistakes, looking outside his window as it rains-
"I want to go outside and play in the rain," says Jimmy, "but I won't provoke any large dogs or play with metal objects that could attract lightning!"
And so he walks out in his t-shirt and plays in the rain for many hours, catching pneumonia and getting very sick, nearly to his death.
"I shouldn't play in the rain without a coat, because the cold impairs my immune system and makes me more susceptible to disease!" says Jimmy.
-Our tale returns a short while later with Jimmy, the Oddly Self Aware Idiot Who Learns From His Mistakes, looking outside his window as it rains-
" I want to go outside and play in the rain," says Jimmy, "but I won't provoke any large dogs, play with metal objects, or forget to wear my coat!"
And so Jimmy walks outside in his coat and plays in the rain. He has learned from his mistakes and taken every precaution to ensure his safety. He is very safe and no harm comes to him.
But he left the oven on and his house burned down.
They never discovered the source of the fire so Jimmy never learned from his mistake. He did it a couple more times before finally dying.
User Reviews
Submitted by no_one (user info) at 2006-03-08 09:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs a better punchline or something
Submitted by Icedragon (user info) at 2006-03-08 09:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny story, could have been a little longer...
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-03-08 09:13:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-08 09:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
apparently i and jimmy have a lot in common...
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-08 08:55:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hate to do this, but...
+0 No comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-08 08:22:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-08 08:00:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
this lacks everything necessary to garner a positive rating. everyone that gave this a good rating is full of shit, because if this was anyone else it would've been flamed to shit.
no offenSe, of course.
----------------------
Ahem. Don't tell me what I would or would not have done.
No offense.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-08 08:00:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
this lacks everything necessary to garner a positive rating. everyone that gave this a good rating is full of shit, because if this was anyone else it would've been flamed to shit.
no offenSe, of course.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-08 07:22:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think you are lovely.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-08 06:16:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Needs more retards.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-03-08 06:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
really, quite ordinary.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-03-08 02:27:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow.
Submitted by dedre (user info) at 2006-03-08 01:08:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I dunno why exactly, but this I liked.
Submitted by PoTtY (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:48:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:45:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A while back, I had sex with Habeeb's ear while he was sleeping.
I think the splooge is still crusting on his brain, which would explain a lot of things.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:28:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's just a quick dumb thing. In response to yet another "DUMB PEOPLE DO DUMB THINGS" flash I saw. I figured it might be funny if you take one of thsoe characters and make them more self-aware of what they do.
It's a very hit or miss kind of thing just because it's so short. You're either going to find the idea amusing or not.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
haha good point.
i like your stuff.
this was gayer than you, wearing lilac.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:11:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck, I liked it.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:09:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This had both good and bad points, but overall I
can't give it less than a +2. Fuck anyone
who rated it lower. . .
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:09:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't take offense from from people who can't spell it.
Dumb brits with their soccer and favorite colors.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:04:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
not funny in the slightest.
No offence.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:03:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:02:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what?
I love you.
I love you like mad.
Cause this shit amused the fuck out of me.
Seriously.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:02:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was meaningful. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2006-03-07 23:01:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
IF I WERE IN 1840'S VIRGINIA AND IN THE 5TH GRADE, THESE STORIES WOULD BE FUNNY AND MORALFULL
IN THESE TIMES THEY MAKE MA TOOTH HURT AND GIVE ME GLACOMA
FUCK U AND YER TALES
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-07 22:59:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm still grinning like a chump.