UberMadness IV - Show Us Your Tittles! (3433 hits)
Category: UberMadness!Rating: 0.82 on 118 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Razor <Jeremy_21117.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-03-08 09:50:02 EST
So, first a little quick news. I've taken everyone's considerations into view, and I want to thank everyone for their positive feedback.
I'm talking with bart right now about what he's willing to do in technical terms to incorporate some of the suggested changes.
I can already tell that this is going to be the best UM ever!
Use this post to submit titles for UM. Before you do, let me tell you some things about good and bad titles:
A good title will NOT contain any reference to Ubersite or anyone from Ubersite. (i.e. "I'm not an alter, I'm a cute little Danish girl")
A good title will NOT reference any specific person (i.e. "Kate Beckinsale, a vibrator, and the best thirty seconds I wish I ever had")
A good title will NOT force people to write about one and only one thing (i.e. "One time I got arrested for throwing molotov cocktails into my friend's living room.")
A good title will NOT be dumb(i.e. "Rape: The Other Other Other White Meat")
A great title will allow the authors flexibility while offering them inspiration. Remember, not everyone wants to write melodrama. Or comedy. Or whatever.
So please... offer away.
-----------------------
One of the big complaints about UM III was the lack of kickass titles. In UM II, JMG had to make up a bunch of titles for the later rounds because we didn't get enough good submissions.
Please guys, think up some good titles and lay them out there for the sake of the competition!
And a thought for those of you who think you can't find inspiration, here's what the guys who do Robot Chicken were able to come up with for "Scarecrow in Oz"
User Reviews
Submitted by ahdragos (user info) at 2006-09-04 16:04:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When Things go Wrong
The Curious Little Man
My Life in a Nutshell
Hilarity or Horror; You Choose
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-09-01 23:26:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A good title will NOT be dumb(i.e. "Rape: The Other Other Other White Meat")
-
You "example of a stupid title" concept was pretty funny. +3
-1 for auto-Razor hate.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-08-28 16:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate that guy.
...Grandma?
Candy Coated Anal Beads.
Running with Scissors 2.
Club Special.
Patent number: 01101001011011000110100101101011011001010111001101110100011001010110000101101011
Fun with conveinient lies.
Ten and tampons.
Violence in the media: It's a good thing.
Submitted by Magicaddict (user info) at 2006-08-01 07:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Anonymous posting is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-07-30 00:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-05-10 14:43:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-03-08 14:59:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Titles: All BOSH Edition!
The Man from B.O.S.H.
A Bosh in the Dark
A Fistful of Bosh
Detective Inspector Bosh and the Teabag Murders
A Town Called Bosh
Project: BOSH
Get Bosh
Gaybosh
BOSH TV
The Bosh Transplant
The Creeping Bosh
The Bosh from Outer Space
Night of the Bosh
Boshworld
Godzilla VS Bosh
My Daughter is Dating a Bosh Man!
------
do it
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-07-29 23:38:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-29 23:27:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-07-29 23:15:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
I prefer the more organized structure of UM, although the whole "apply to get in" doesn't sit well with me, nor does the length of some of the entries. Of course, it would be unreasonable to impose an entry length on UM; after all, its not ADD, and with fewer entries, it almost seems they should be longer.
When's the next UM being run? I'm looking forward to not losing in the first round this time =P
__________________________________________________________
My point precisely. Apply to get in is a pile of crap, designed to keep it limited
to the ones the elite wish to read. Fuck 'em.
---
Nah, I don't think its that so much as it is most of us are just too lazy to write an application entry, and THEN have to start writing for a competition. I think the judges (or whoever runs it!) are pretty fair when it comes to deciding whether or not posters are...well, good enough. Clearly the system is a little flawed (SOUP'S ON BITCHES!)...
Now, the thing I do like about UberMadness is that the authors of the entries are not known until after voting is closed. I know I've said things about it in the past, but nothing pisses me off more than seeing a certain user post total drivel and get a string of +2s and flattering remarks from all their Ubersite buddies/ass kissers. Or, in the case of the ladies here, from 95% of the men/boys who read it. In UM, there is no opportunity to rate by author, the pieces are judged solely by how well they are written. That makes me fuzzy inside.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-07-29 23:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck ... not this shit again. Can't I just enjoy Ubersite without your shitty contest pooping up the front page and smothering everything else? Boo, go back to Cary, NC, boo.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-07-29 23:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Forgot:
Avatar
God of Thunder
(And Rock and Roll)
These Are Not My Pants
A Bard's Tale
End
I Like This Woodwork
Merely an Observation
It Must Be Inordinately Taxing to be Such A Boob
Go North
Sweet Home...
Piper at the Gates of Dawn
The Sage
Within the Realm of Dreams
Incarnate
Yeah Baby! You Can Do IT! (or Tony Little: The Life and Times)
See You in Valhalla
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-29 23:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-07-29 23:15:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
I prefer the more organized structure of UM, although the whole "apply to get in" doesn't sit well with me, nor does the length of some of the entries. Of course, it would be unreasonable to impose an entry length on UM; after all, its not ADD, and with fewer entries, it almost seems they should be longer.
When's the next UM being run? I'm looking forward to not losing in the first round this time =P
__________________________________________________________
My point precisely. Apply to get in is a pile of crap, designed to keep it limited
to the ones the elite wish to read. Fuck 'em.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-07-29 23:15:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I prefer the more organized structure of UM, although the whole "apply to get in" doesn't sit well with me, nor does the length of some of the entries. Of course, it would be unreasonable to impose an entry length on UM; after all, its not ADD, and with fewer entries, it almost seems they should be longer.
When's the next UM being run? I'm looking forward to not losing in the first round this time =P
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-29 22:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Look at the results of the A.D.D. contest. Tons of good writing.
Ubermadness has way too many restrictions.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-07-29 21:57:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shortcuts
The kill
Rise or Fall
Who wants to be part of ubermadness
Oh! Oh! Oh! Pick me! pick me!
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2006-07-29 19:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nevermind, just talked to Jeremy. Hehe.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2006-07-29 19:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
When is this happening?
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-06-20 18:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you all for submitting titles for D-Prime Madness presented by Darko!
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-06-20 18:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My titles:
I Love Living in the City
Each Dollar a Bullet
Never Again
On a Roll
Your Country
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-06-20 18:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And now what?
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-05-10 14:43:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-03-08 14:59:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Titles: All BOSH Edition!
The Man from B.O.S.H.
A Bosh in the Dark
A Fistful of Bosh
Detective Inspector Bosh and the Teabag Murders
A Town Called Bosh
Project: BOSH
Get Bosh
Gaybosh
BOSH TV
The Bosh Transplant
The Creeping Bosh
The Bosh from Outer Space
Night of the Bosh
Boshworld
Godzilla VS Bosh
My Daughter is Dating a Bosh Man!
------
do it
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-05-10 14:38:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bleeding Red Ecstacy
Triggerfish
The Fetishist
Tincture
The Black Cross
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-04-19 18:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I got a great title:
"Art's Testicles and You".
Wait... never mind.
Some asshole already used it.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86828
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2006-03-24 14:00:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where there's a will there's Bengay
Submitted by lowsodiummonkey (user info) at 2006-03-24 13:50:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Partly Sunny with a sprinkle of "THIS..."
Gomez the discombobulated Jaguar
Flap'a doodle doo doo
Your monkey equals my monkey plus the square root of simian
Ba Ba Blue Sheep
Carpet Fuzz: Numero Uno
My ball ... corner pocket
Cosmonaut - one who drinks cosmos, duh!
Sitting in a tree K I S S ... "What the F#$#!!!"
Power to the Lemurs
Office Politics - An Unopened Letter
A tea pot, a bra, a spoon, and a sock. That's what I call a good time.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-03-18 17:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to think of some, but theres already 2,874 of them.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-18 16:28:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Chocolate Coated Candy Pieces
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-03-13 03:17:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Round Fourteen
Harbour Bound
Poor Plan of Action
Tomorrow Afternoon
Take the Next Exit
Banshee
Like A Looker
Town of Air
Hippopotami Ballet
$5,000 Reward Offered
Amy's Abortion
Chance For A Dance
No More Doughnuts For You
The Empty Guestroom
Look's Like We Made It
The Laziest Generation
Bright Blue Bliss
The Grasshoppers Have It
All Holed Up For Winter
Catch Your Death With This Butterfly Net
Nobody Goes There Anymore
Bloody, Bloody Baby
The Waiter Just Farted
Drunken Log-driver
Operation Quick Silver
Reverse Course
Breaking News
Weren't You Some One Once?
Hurtbag For Hire
Jungles Of The Damned
Damsels in Depression
Ions For Iris
Rickshaw Fantasies
Where The Cabin Burned Down
Catch Of The Day
We're Here For The Wedding
Coconuts For Sale
Natalie's Delights
Just Don't Stop Here
Small-town Bring Down
Until This Day
Kings, Queens And Poison
Passions Of An Empty Suitcase
A Bad Passport Photo
Permanent Ban
Hungry, Hungry Babies
We're Here For Sam
Junk
We're Done Here
Hags
Lane 45
Plush Toy
Explosions Are For Quitters
Reverse Order Of Operation
Jealously Smells Like Lilacs
How He Died And How She Lived
Identical Oppositions
Sit Right Here And Don't Move
She's Like A Stone
The Saviour For Some
Jumbled Up Inside
Cancerous Cure
Velvet On The Inside
Boxcar Prince
The Littlest Gumshoe
Rewind The Tape
Buy Me Some Smokes
Beyond What We Know
Welterweight Turner
Zippo For Sale
Uncle Pop
Mind Your Mother
Useless Information From A Credible Source
Fishing For The Day
The Death of Dan
Underground Circus
Beaver Dams On Halfmoon Lake
TuO edisnI
An Inch Away From Goodbye
An Inch Away From A Good Cheeseburger
A Guy Walks Into A Bar...
Nobody Told Me This Was Formal
I Hate Carl
There's Something On Your Face
Cement Truck Blues
Cook Like a Damn
Slavery Is For Quitters
I Found It
I Lost It
Go Home Until I Call
Sliced Bread
Part Of The Problem
St. Steven's New Pig
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-03-12 20:40:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-03-11 18:39:00 (#)
The Midnight Blue Semi
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I want this title.
Or...
Clawhammer
Operator Error
The Library Job
Run Jane Run
Slow Learner
Your Weight on the Moon
Roll of the Dice
Beowulf's Diaper
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-03-11 18:39:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Candy-Apple Red
The Broken Lamp
A Shoe on the Side of the Road
La Grande Fuck Up
The Man Who Told Tales
With a Gun to My Head
41 Seconds
When She Died
The Suicide Font
They Left It On the Moon
The Devil's Underwood
http://www.iknowwhoyouare.com/
Small Hands
With One Touch
The Midnight Blue Semi
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-03-11 18:03:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Absinthe
Liquid Picnic
On the Water
Consider the Albatross
Limited Time Offer
His Truth is Marching On
Pillow Talk
Anagram for Charm
Point Shaving
Love is a Vector Field with Zero Divergence
The Moosewood Cookbook Murders
Revenge of the Guttersnipe
The Skirtchaser's Holiday
Einsten vs. Crowley
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-11 09:44:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jack, if I get in, and I get Glitter, I will hunt your ass down.
Kidding.
I'll hire someone to do it.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nigger Gotta Get Paid
Lay'n In The Cut With My Gat
Section 8 And 8-Balls
Gimme My Check Foo!
Muh Jimmys Wacked
Where All Da Hoes?
Dis Shit Is Wack
Sling'n Hair'on Outa My Ride
Rollers! Rollers! 5-0!
I didn't Do Shit
20 YEARS TO LIFE?
O HELL NO MOTHERFUCKER!!
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2006-03-10 09:13:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For Whom the Bell Tolls
Weird Love
Adrift in Space
Return to Space
Wish You Were Here
A Kiss at the End of a Rainbow
A Journey of Adventure
To Live is to Die
Final Countdown
Fields of War
Isle of the Dead
Fog of War
Beyond Salvation
Lost in Time
Calm before the Storm
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2006-03-10 08:44:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tomorrow's Children
In the Water
Open Hand
Apostate
Bottles and Cans
Bruiser
A Tinker's Damn
The Lesser of Two Evils
BONUS TITLES: Take the following titles from horrible movies and make interesting stories out of them!
1) Alone in the Dark
2) Catwoman
3) Dirty Love
4) The Avengers
5) Cobra
6) The Postman
7) Heaven's Gate
8) King's Ransom
9) Glitter
10) Kangaroo Jack
11) The Core
12) Lost and Found
13) LEft Behind
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-10 00:31:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
" the camera I found in the taxi cab "
Holy shit, save this one for the finals.
Dead serious, this one kicks all amounts of ass.
Sure, it'll start in the same place, but where the fuck can you go with it?
Fucking everywhere.
Submitted by Impassive-Digressive (user info) at 2006-03-10 00:11:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
- Extra Protein
- Out of the Woodwork
- Mystery Meat
- Juiced
- Pleasantly Surprised
- Underneath the Overpass
- The Slightest of Miscalculations
- Island Life
- Impeccable Timing
- Can You Hold This For Me?
- Ping!
- Actual Results May Vary
- It Happened Again, Didn't It?
- Don't Shake That Thing At Me!
- Washed Up
- Chinese Whispers
- The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread
- I'll Show You Mine....
- Wilted
- They All Look the Same to Me
- When All Else Fails....
- Plan C
- The 'A' Stands For 'Awesome'
- Rewired
- The Boy Who Wasn't
- Table Thirteen
- Cross That Off the List
- Enter At Your Own Risk
- Going Out With A Bang
- Minty Fresh
- Taking Sides
- It's All in the Wrist
- A Common Misconception
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-03-09 16:01:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Loaded Dice
The Deck is Stacked
Last Call
Taken Away
Howling at the Wind
Falling Leaves
The Red and the Black
Safe Passage
High Stakes
Once On a Sunday
A Train That Leaves Tonight
Starry Night
Americana
The Eye of the Beholder
Let Them Eat Cake
Maginot Lines
The Greatest Legend
Once Upon a Time
A Rainy Day
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2006-03-09 10:57:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Lost Horizon
The Beggars Waltz
Wrath of God
Beyond the Eyes of Man
Voices in the Void
You just think you understood
Temples of Gold
The world is a stage
Victim of Progress
The Kingdom Beyond
New World Order
Live the Lie
I mustn't Run away
Karma is but a Concept
I don't think he's that crazy, yet.
A Dance in the Wind.
I think you should smile...
Weaving a Story
One Cannot Live Alone
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2006-03-09 09:32:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Invite to Immortality
Eternally Beyond
Working Class Hero
Under one Banner
Blood of Heroes
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-03-09 03:14:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
piggy bank
the supermarket on 3rd and vine
the camera I found in the taxi cab
room service
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-09 03:06:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-03-08 21:49:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
"One of the big complaints about UM III was the lack of kickass titles."
Oh really? I must've missed the 28 posts bitching about THAT one.
-------------
HA!
Still say it was the committee's fault.
All those folks picked the shitty ones.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:56:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-The dead Jew that stole my heart... and held it ransom.
-He didn't scream till we were 3 inches deep
-Fertilizer, niggers and Spanish fly
-That supermarket has too many wetbacks working in it.
-Bees: Whores of the sky
-I can't tell the difference between rabies, loincloths and that pig.
-There are three types of people. Electro is the retarded type.
-The spider with 8 vaginas.
-When i go to prison, bodybuilders will have sex with my ass.
-He was a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad cunt.
-The man that sold the world... and bought crack.
-My penis is hard in the mornings.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:41:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A Penguin Jumped Off A Cliff....
"...Rectum? Damn Near Killed Em!"
Mine Is Bigger
Headboard
Twenty Naked Pentecostals In A Pontiac
Forfeit :(
Is That My Stapler?
Stand On Your Seat
Grandpa's Advice
Happy Boy
Well Spank My Ass And Call Me George
Beep
Rat Race
Is That a Relay Rack In Your Pocket, Or Are You Happy to See Me?
Devil's Playground
Car Talk
Fucking Tourists...
Slither
Well, Isn't That Special?
And for the final matchup, The Urbane Title....
Sticky Fingers
Submitted by Vomitoxin_AKA_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:10:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OH, AND
CAN A NIGGA BORROW A PENCIL?
Submitted by Vomitoxin_AKA_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:03:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
DUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
I FORGOT TO BUTTER
DEDOS SALCHICHAS BITCHES!!!
FRAGGLE ROCK AND THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM
I CHAFE
NAKED PICTURES OF MY 8-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER
WHY CLEF JOHN 3:16
POPPING ASS PIMPLES AND DRINKING THE JUICE
MY 2-QUART MILK ENEMA
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-03-08 22:56:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can someone please answer me!!!
Can I play?
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2006-03-08 22:44:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Years without light.
I begin to awaken and I realize that truthfully, I probably loved no-one.
Inject the Poison
the neutralization of life, spirals into distortion
To the Birth of Life
The Rain forgives all Sins
like a deep red sun, burns and consumes everything
From Riches to Rot
If only you knew
the prayer of appeal devoured
Silent Omen
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-03-08 22:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Deconstruction
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-03-08 22:27:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
A day in my shoes
The blackening
Thinking outside the box
The time may come
They come at night
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2006-03-08 22:02:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If looks could kill
Next Please
The Answer
No Chance in Hell
The Great Awakening
Life, Death, and Rebirth
The Door of Windows
The Phone that Never Rings
Unfamiliar Ceiling
Life Can be So Nice
Portraits from Memory
You'll never be young twice
Don't make others suffer for your personal Hatred.
Baptism of Fire
Eve of the Feast
Campfire of Dreams
Moment of Glory
I'm not used to being liked. Being hated, on the other hand, is quite familiar
What is Democracy?
The Throne of the Soul
Who are you?
Survivability takes priority
Man fears the darkness, and so he scrapes away at the edges of it with fire
Mankind has no time left
Cerebellum... don't you mean his heart?!
Forever Broke
Knockin on Heavens Door
Opiate of the Masses
Altruism, the dying art.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-03-08 21:49:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"One of the big complaints about UM III was the lack of kickass titles."
Oh really? I must've missed the 28 posts bitching about THAT one.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-08 21:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, you see...
One More Time
Oh No You Di'Int
Oh Yes I Di'Id
Have You Heard?
Drive In, Drive Out
Busted Stuff
What Would You Say?
Can't Complain
When In Rome
Tell That You're Alright
Wait, Excuse Me?
Smoke Break
48 Cents
Life After _____
The Interview
1-876
Winter Wonderland
Summit County
Hashers and Hares
Well, more later.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-03-08 20:57:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damnit! Soup's Off was taken already.
But I second the motion.
My real title idea is:
A Different Kind of Death
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-03-08 20:56:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Soup's Off
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-08 19:52:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oy, committee was at fault last year, there were easily 400-500 decent titles that could beused, but all we got were "difference" and "White Hot" and shit like that.
Anyway, I'm at work, so no titles now.
Later, I promise.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-08 19:06:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Six Kinds of Poo
You Say Pooty I Say Tang
Hot Chair on Chair Action
A Man Called Bitch
Skinna Marink A Dinka Dink Skinna Marink A Cock.
Mommies Greasy Friend.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-03-08 18:44:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dead Like Me
The Monopoly Man
Do-It-Yourself
Out Of Gas
The Assassin
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-08 18:41:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WE'RE NUMBER 1:
Everything you ever wanted to know about Shlongy
User id: 10879
Registered on or around: 2004-08-02 17:37:55
# Messages posted: 99
# Reviews written: 20000 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 7087
# Hits: 154668
Average rating of all messages: 0.24
On a side note, McCallum's "Tabasco Blowout in Stall #7" is the best title ever. It better be used.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-03-08 18:31:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are all of the UM participants locked yet??
Sorry, I haven't been around for a while but would like to participate.
Sorry about the redundancy of this review.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-03-08 16:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Genitals, Inc.
The Apeshit Wars
Sign Here and then Fuck Off
The Scrotum Incident
He Tried to Put It in Your WHAT?
Greased Fist
Tabasco Blowout in Stall #7
Timmy Has Two Daddies II: My Dad Can Blow Your Dad
Spank It, Crank It, or Wank It
Eat This
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-08 15:54:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I'm not an alter, I'm a cute little Danish girl"
"Kate Beckinsale, a vibrator, and the best thirty seconds I wish I ever had"
"One time I got arrested for throwing molotov cocktails into my friend's living room"
"Rape: The Other Other Other White Meat"
I hope nobody mentioned those.
Seriously I hope you are considering my last comments ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/84924#1871374 ) about a blind entry post.
Real titles.
"Next time someone hands you an exploding ham, I am passing the mustard."
"Not my nachos!"
"If this doesn't work out, I want you to know I enjoyed working with you."
"Last time I put that there!"
Submitted by IchBinEinBerliner (user info) at 2006-03-08 15:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've got to scratch this
Your time is up
Clap your hands
Good night, and good luck
When the levee breaks
Keep the dream alive
Undefeated
Submitted by Rope (user info) at 2006-03-08 15:37:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The New Year
It's Turkey Time
By Purpose Not By Plan
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2006-03-08 15:11:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Smoke and Mirrors Don't Mix
Sealed for Freshness
A Walk in the Park
Crowd on Their Feet
They Keep the Darkness In
Opposite of Whatever
Process Me
But What Did He Say?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-03-08 14:59:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Titles: All BOSH Edition!
The Man from B.O.S.H.
A Bosh in the Dark
A Fistful of Bosh
Detective Inspector Bosh and the Teabag Murders
A Town Called Bosh
Project: BOSH
Get Bosh
Gaybosh
BOSH TV
The Bosh Transplant
The Creeping Bosh
The Bosh from Outer Space
Night of the Bosh
Boshworld
Godzilla VS Bosh
My Daughter is Dating a Bosh Man!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-08 14:49:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All will perish before the might of the Orgasmatron, Brdn.
Who knows, I may even say 'fuck it' and slip some prose in there, too.
I just wanted to see if I would be penalized for writing in vese.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2006-03-08 14:43:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
March On
A Little Bit Longer
Green Dreams
Highway One
Ragged Hero
She Waits
The Road and the Radio
After the Game
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-08 14:18:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That actually would be pretty entertaining. If I end up against you O-man I will try to take you out with your element. I may not be as polished when I submit most of the time but I've already decided that I can't just write in the submit box in UM this time so a little extra time spent adapting to lyrical stylings will not be a big deal.
You will fall and when you do it will hurt. You have stiff competition coming up in shamrock open if you make it to the final.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-03-08 14:13:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Gaz... I'm going to discuss this with the committee to get a final decision, but here's my take:
People may be able to figure out that it's you, but you're allowed to submit what you want. I don't think the rules against catchphrases apply here... you could certainly peg me for generally long winded sci-fi, others for comedy/MSPaint, etc.
It's not your fault that not more people are writing poetry. And you never know, maybe some people will, banking on the fact that people will associate it with you, who is popular... I think it would be awesome if someone who is going up against you tries to take you on right in your baliwick.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-08 13:28:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84924#1871187
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-08 13:17:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck my shit and then piss in my mouth.
***
Crossing my fingers for that one. I hate looking through and seeing all the song titles, but..
It's Inevitable - that might be a good one. I'm completely drained of energy today.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-03-08 13:14:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't it Funny How Everything Works Out
Flawed
Perfect
Who's There?
Down and Dirty
Terminal Breath
Whole Again
The Fool's Revenge
Only the Dead Sing the Blues
Letting It Flow
Can You Hear Me?
I'm Not Your Whore
Cutting the Vein
Make Me!
Winning Isn't Everything
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:53:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That's now TWO votes for "Have That Removed"
See: Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:12:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:39:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eat Your Poison
Weeping Willow
Rich Girl, Poor Girl
Have That Removed
I Wanna Party With You
Pick Up That Blood
No Bare Feet
Submitted by Quint (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:29:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This title sucks
We struck oil
I'm not a bum, I'm a streetperson
Lord's gonna get us back, I know
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is
Nigga stole my bike
A mobster with integrity
Humor is a rubber sword
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:44:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
PS. Do These Pants Make My ass Look Fat?
--
You are supposed to be supplying titles, not trying to squeeze your assmeat into your forty year old orange and green striped bellbottoms.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:23:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
when you walk into a shitstorm you want to know which way the wind is blowing
cataract schmateract, at least i still got the feeling in my johnson
buttercup is marrying humperdink in little less than half an hour.
Simoniz your children
eating ass is better than smoking ass.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:15:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:10:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
If I see one more song title I'm gonna puke...
-----------------
Sorry, my fault. I take full responsibility for this reprehensible bandwagon.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:14:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:39:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:20:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
we sat down in my house and played every Nick Cave album in chronological order. It took all weekend, and it was fucking awesome.
---
Except first thing Saturday morning, I would imagine.
Even "Burning The Ice" was better than "From Her.."
The cover of "In the ghetto" makes my bloke ovaries ache.
In case anyone ever wondered, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Nocturama is the best album to listen to whilst assembling any type of flat-pack furniture.
-----------------
I heart all the albums. "In the ghetto" isn't that great, sure, but the title track, the Leonard Cohen cover and "the moon is in the gutter" are all aces.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:10:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If I see one more song title I'm gonna puke...
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:10:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The Rest Will Follow
Down By the River
Touch 'Em All
Stormy Weather
Fear (Part VII)
Over the Top
On Ninth Street
A Most Unpleasant Way
The Brewmaster's Litany
Purity of Essence
The Last Saskatchewan Milk Run
Whiskey Jack
The Current
Over the Falls
Snow Seven and the White Dwarfs
Death Valley Moving Day
Dueling Trombones
In the Shade of the Baobab
Bounty
Point/Counterpoint
Penny Dreadful
Written in the Sky
C.D.M.
On Pins and Needles
Spreadsheet or Centerfold?
Rum, Buggery and the Lash
The Frost Line
Old Nick and the 4000 Virgins
There Goes the Neighborhood
Get Thee to a Nunnery
Let Me
Between Enemies
The Fake
The Shakedown
Journey of the Chosen
4 minutes, 23 seconds
Peaceable Kingdom
Hell, North Dakota
Vapor Pressure
Wandering Star
Minutes to Midnight
The Place Without a Postcard
Inkblot
Male and Malleability
Intelligent Design
Inflection Point
Kill Zone
Khan with the Wind: the Mongol Hordes and the Fall of the Antebellum South
Thesis
Desolation
The Eye of the Storm
The Ararat Protocol
Purple Emperor
The Apophis Impact
On Thursday
Material Witness
The Marching Morons
Quintessential
After the Treatment
Chocolate Phoenix
Illicit Kisses
The Librarian's Conundrum
Seppuku? I said Sudoku!
Open Mic Night at the Reichstag
Orders of Magnitude
Wrong Side of the Tracks
Off the Rails
Night Train
Summer School
Darkness at Noon
Count the Stars
In the Biblical Sense
Give Us Back the Bikes
Evil Eye
Freeze Frame
Last Exit to Babylon
Bottom of the Barrel
The End of the Line
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Let it ride
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:08:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:21:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shine On
__________________
Been listening to the Floyd lately?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:06:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PS. The Polar Bear's Anus
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:04:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:37:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
Fart fucker.
Fuck my fat nigger ass.
Fuck my shit and then piss in my mouth.
Rape that Kike.
Ass fucking ninja aliens molested my husband.
I killed a fucking Jew.
Nigger.
Rape my dog's ass.
Fuck my foot.
The Passion of the Jew.
===============================
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-03-08 12:00:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:56:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
i enjoy me that album only i can't find my copy
YOU TOOK IT DIDN'T YOU
---
Yep, and I left a copy of Crowded House - Woodface in it's place.
Oh, the horror!
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Darker Karma
Seeping From Within
Only Women Bleed <thank you Alice Cooper>
Violet Skies
Peeling The Flesh
Sedation
The Weight of the World
Buyer's Remorse
Little White Lie
The Alpha and The Omega
No Need To Thank Me
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:56:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In case anyone ever wondered, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Nocturama is the best album to listen to whilst assembling any type of flat-pack furniture.
---
i enjoy me that album only i can't find my copy
YOU TOOK IT DIDN'T YOU
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
..... Got Beebed
wouldn't that make for a killer final round title?
Submitted by Vomitoxin_AKA_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:43:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
FUCK MAD TITTIES
or
MY FAVORITE GALOSHES HAVE CUM ALL OVER THEM
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:39:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:20:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
we sat down in my house and played every Nick Cave album in chronological order. It took all weekend, and it was fucking awesome.
---
Except first thing Saturday morning, I would imagine.
Even "Burning The Ice" was better than "From Her.."
The cover of "In the ghetto" makes my bloke ovaries ache.
In case anyone ever wondered, Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Nocturama is the best album to listen to whilst assembling any type of flat-pack furniture.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:37:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fart fucker.
Fuck my fat nigger ass.
Fuck my shit and then piss in my mouth.
Rape that Kike.
Ass fucking ninja aliens molested my husband.
I killed a fucking Jew.
Nigger.
Rape my dog's ass.
Fuck my foot.
The Passion of the Jew.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:37:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Insidious
Backwards Drama
Impersonator
The Ripper's Blessing
Chew Toy
Stalling Mary
All The Wrong Pleasures
Universal Loathing
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:15:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, let the record show that I don't know how to spell Rumikub... Rummikub? Rummicube? That last one isn't right... Rummicubtacular... yeah...
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-08 11:13:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think the thing that's most important about a good title is that it's ambiguous in nature, therefore generic titles that are sappy like "My dying eyes" generally suck, but are often the most contributed.
We need more titles like --
Balls to the wall
Naked time!
Get in the kitchen! (And make me a sandwich)
Reasons why God Blessed me more than you
Bundles of Joy
Burning Urine
Pulp Fraction
Mediocre Storytelling
Lame Joke Bill and his bucket of tricks
Is it hot in here? Signed, Lucifer
I can't see shit! Signed, God
Morals get you pussy, Lying gets you laid
Magneto beat me in Rumikub
We're all ants marching
Yeah, it's cause I'm awesome and such that I could think up the best titles in the whole tournament. This should get me a bye into the final for sure.
But all sarcasm aside, Razor I think that what we do need are more "Uber" titles, instead of shit titles that most of us never write about and cater to a very limited group of people. Not that we can't write about "Long Island Mystery" or "Waiting for Sanity" or whatever else, but I think the contest in itself would garner a lot more hits and voting if the titles were as "Uber" as the front page. Perhaps that would gain interest, even in the late rounds.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:51:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Walking Dead
The Genesis Equation
The Preacher
A Cruel Wind Blows
Picking at the Scab
Slow Bleed
Straight Girls are Easy
That Night in the Abyss
The Sixth Day
American Gothic
Legacy
Summer Breeze
The Massacre
Titan
Suburban Ragnarok -- heh heh, that one sucks
Shadow of the Forgotten
The Gorilla in the Room
Last Night
In Your Honor
Twist
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:45:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
slow burn
up and at 'em
and so it goes..
give up the ghost
flash, flash
revenge
skeleton key
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:44:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PS. Do These Pants Make My ass Look Fat?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:43:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok, seriously this time...
House of Cards
The Preamble to Life
Of Far and Near
Two in the Pink and One in the Stink
My Favorite Tree
Delighting with Dr. Suess
Caffeine Maninpulation
Downcast with Hope
Tea and Hardhats
Homes of Harmony
The Stripes of Candy Canes
Setscrew and Keyway
.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,maybe more.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,,.,.,.,.,.,.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:43:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
She's a Fickle Mistress
From the Belly of the Whale
Three Sheets to the Wind
A Fatigue in the memory of my body
Wine, Women and Song
Knock Back Our Love Like A Glass Of Scotch
Pollo Borracho
Give Me One Reason
Fire and Brimstone
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:32:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ice that Wound
The Pursuit of Excellence
Happy Sappy Love
Pop That Balloon
She's only 16
Sorry, There's Nothing I Can Do
Peace Out
Bare Bottom, No Problem
The Album
Winter Wonderland
Eat
Nature Kicked My Ass
Grave Danger
Colour Blind
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:27:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Something to Believe In
The Chain
Integrity
Behind the Screens
Testament of a Soldier
Anything But Mine
Remember Yesterday
Ride, Cowboy...Ride
Genocide
My Mind's Playing Tricks on Me
You're My Better Half
Do You Want Fries with That?
Brown Sugar
Tumbling Dice
The Man In Black
Outlaw Man
Six Six-Packs
It's Been a Long Time
yeah winamp shuffle feature.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:24:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Something to Believe In
The Chain
Integrity
Behind the Screens
Testament of a Soldier
Anything But Mine
Remember Yesterday
Ride, Cowboy...Ride
Genocide
My Mind's Playing Tricks on Me
You're My Better Half
Do You Want Fries with That?
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:21:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Long Days
I'm Super
Reeling in the Fish
Only You Can Prevent the Future
This is My Country, This is My Home
Soup's Off
You Are Mine
Blue Cars and Broken Hearts
Extra! Extra Read All about it
Ruler of The New World
Dead Daisies
Grrrrrr...
Framed
The Man With the Cowboy Hat
Jumping Jackass!
Yellow
Under The Stars
The Pity of War
Making The Grade
What's in that Box?
What's The Word I'm Looking for?
The Last Shot
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:21:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The Extractor
Shnookered
Give Us This Day
Mercy is for the Weak
The Tattered Tapestry
Telltale
Shine On
The Interrogater
I'll Show You Terrorism
Terror Reigns
The Shackler
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:20:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bite the Hand That Feeds
Into the Deep
Jump the Shark
Holy Vissage
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:10:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Stagger Lee, reading through your titles I only have one question:
Can we PLEASE get maudlin drunk on good wine that's really far too expensive to be poured down our throats this way and listen to Nick Cave?
And when we get REALLY drunk, sing along?
And can I play The Ship Song over and over?
And okay, that's like three questions, but who cares.
---------------------------
Absolutely. My best friend has gone to uni recently, and we never got around to going on a holiday before he left. So instead, we sat down in my house and played every Nick Cave album in chronological order. It took all weekend, and it was fucking awesome.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:18:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Raping Kate Becksdale with That Little Danish Girls Vibrator while Thowing Molotov Cocktails.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:12:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Here I Sit
My Baloney
Ou Est Sylvie
A Horse is a Horse
Eat My Balls, Please - I SAID Please!
Scrot Alert
Pass the Tabasco
How much is that Poo Poo in the Window
Polly Wanna Humjob?
Replace the Nebulator Shaft
Have That Removed
The Toilet Bowl Chronicles
I'll Have the Number 2, Large, No Onions
Mirror Mirror on the Ceiling
Cleanup on Aisle 4
How's Your Ear Wax?
Here's That Minus Two You Ordered
Rules, Schmules
You're welcome.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:10:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Stagger Lee, reading through your titles I only have one question:
Can we PLEASE get maudlin drunk on good wine that's really far too expensive to be poured down our throats this way and listen to Nick Cave?
And when we get REALLY drunk, sing along?
And can I play The Ship Song over and over?
And okay, that's like three questions, but who cares.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:08:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The Makings of a Man
With Heavy Heart
Same Time, Same Channel
I Gave Her My Love and She Fired it Back with a Cannon
Move Over Red Hat
Give Me One Reason
Love Grows Where Nobody Knows
Simple Men
Pack it Up Pack it In
Somewhere Between LA and The Moon
Love's Complications
The Shake and The Shiver
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:05:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
From her to eternity
The firstborn is dead
Kicking against the pricks
Your funeral, my trial
Tender prey
The good son
Henry's dream
Let love in
Murder ballads
The boatman's call
No more shall we part
Nocturama
Abattoir blues
The lyre of orpheus
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:04:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
okay how about
Breaking News
Love Always
Death of a Computer Nerd
Generic Murder
This is Our Time
It's Done Already
Whore's Can't Get No Love
Gentle Giant
Sixty-nine
Tenacity
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:04:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not in this lifetime.
Running jump
Snake in the grass
The Amateur
Ingrate
The Trouble With Kids Today
Seven ways to sunday
Sink or Swim
Dive, dive, dive
This right here
Wasn't me
Dropping like flies
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:04:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not little
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-08 10:00:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That geezer knew his stuff.
Not normal at this age.
It ain't easy being lean.
Pyramids in Peru
The first time I saw my father cry
Advisory Warning: Asteroids may turn right at any time!
Teenage Jihad.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-08 09:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
with these hands? I already wrote for that title in that failed contest by dprime.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-08 09:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't have time to think of any right now, but why not reuse some of the UM titles where people forfeited or even some of the other titles that were very versatile?
Might give a good idea of where the quality of the tournament is for a benchmark.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-03-08 09:58:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The death of hope.
My name is wrong.
And then she knew.
The dogs have it.
The wrong bananas.
Ears to the ground.
Written on the wall.
It was too hard.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-08 09:53:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
O yea.
Some titles:
With These Hands
May Your Strength Give Us Strength
The Rising
Paradise
The Fuse
Mary's Place
Come On Up!
----
see the correlation?