All Women Should Be Shaved (1220 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.4 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sicknote (View user info) at 2006-03-08 23:09:34 EST
A few weeks ago, emboldened by my mate's decision to get an undercut, I found myself faced with my third double Stoli and a man with a set of clippers in hand. The final tie to my straight laced teenage years was about to be cut...
From the age of 14 (when baggy pants and washed out hoodies started to lose their rebel appeal) I had dressed... conservatively. Never mind that the track blasting over my headphones was Carcass or Crass, I went to school, then college and eventually work everyday looking like a librarian. Knee length skirts, knitted twinsets and stockings, retrained but slightly kinky heels and only the minimum piercings (ok, septum, tragus, lobes etc.), I looked about 25 and acted about the same - my date for my school formal was older than half the teachers, and I put them all to shame in the summer - my dresses were unrivalled. My entire summer wage was spent in Karen Millen, my stockings were ordered from a specialist site (you just can't get quality ones on the high street) and my shoes cost more than my mother's.
Now, you assume I was stuffy, old before my time. Maybe you're on to something, but hang on a second. Piercings were normal when I was a kid - I was brought up on tattoos, drinking heavily and soft drugs. My mum bought me Stoosh by Skunk Anansie when I was still in primary school and wore all black - when I played my extreme metal, she asked me to turn it up. How else was I to rebel? While my mates were dreading their hair and looking like scum, I was blow drying my hair daily and polishing my enormous shoe collection and by the age of 18, I was preparing to head off to Uni looking unlike any teenager you'd ever seen.
I arrived into a sea of blue jeans and blazers, of people desperate to make new friends, where first impressions count for everything. I was fucked. Whereas back in London, everyone knew I went to more punk gigs than any other girl my age, I could drink most of my mates under the table and knew at least 3 people in every bar/venue in a 5 mile radius, at Uni, no one gave a fuck. I looked vanilla, so when I walked into a rock club, everyone would turn and stare. And not in the good way.
I had to grow up fast. Changing the way you look to fit in sucks, and I'm embarrassed to say I did it, but evolve or perish.
The jeans are comfortable enough, and falling over drunk in them has achieved that 'lived in' feel everyone goes for. I don't mind having to advertise my favourite bands on my shirt in order to make people comfortable talking to me - I like Discharge, so I wear the shirt, no problem. But I miss being different, and so I'm heading the other way, towards classic punk rock rebellion. They say you turn into your parents, but I never thought it would happen to me.
So I turned to my boyfriend, grinned, and told him to Mohawk me, shave it off.
You have to grow up someday.
User Reviews
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-14 12:46:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sicknote (user info) at 2006-03-14 09:08:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-03-14 08:15:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-14 08:03:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
So basically you are no different than kids who pick all their clothes from the gap to fit in, except you dress to fit in somewhere else.
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Which was the point of my post! Well done. Next we'll try you on books with chapters, but first, here's a cookie.
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Really? I thought the point of your post was that you are a super-cool rebel because you know people who work in dive bars where they play super-cool rebel music, and you bring super-cool older people to your dances because boys your age aren't mature enough. And that it is okay for you to change your appearance to fit in because you don't listen to britney spears.
But as long as you realize you are no better than those kids who wear $200 jeans from hot topic because they think it makes the unique, good for you.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-14 09:16:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
skinhead chicks rule.
Submitted by Sicknote (user info) at 2006-03-14 09:08:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-03-14 08:15:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-14 08:03:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
So basically you are no different than kids who pick all their clothes from the gap to fit in, except you dress to fit in somewhere else.
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Which was the point of my post! Well done. Next we'll try you on books with chapters, but first, here's a cookie.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-03-14 08:15:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-14 08:03:18 (#)
Ranking: 0
So basically you are no different than kids who pick all their clothes from the gap to fit in, except you dress to fit in somewhere else.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-14 08:03:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So basically you are no different than kids who pick all their clothes from the gap to fit in, except you dress to fit in somewhere else.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-14 08:01:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hehe
Submitted by angel_2k01 (user info) at 2006-03-14 07:40:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i wish i was brave enough to be alternative.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-03-09 09:46:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:40:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting. Why is it that every British and/or Australian writer I can think of here is really good, but there are literally thousands of shitty American writers on this site?
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Because they're trained on the classics whereas we Americans are just bastard copies. That's what WE get for rebellion.
Submitted by Kopesh (user info) at 2006-03-09 09:32:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
interesting
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-03-09 09:21:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Multifarious carnage
Meritriciously internecine
Sublime enmangling steelbath
Of escheated atrocities
I miss Carcass.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-03-09 09:09:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I looked about 25 and acted about the same
HEY are you saying 25YOs are boring?! Im 25 and ...oh, wait, yes youre right. Where did I put my library card?
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-09 06:18:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ha ha, I didn't think anyone had got an undercut since the mid-90s.
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2006-03-09 03:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
you only get a +1 because you decided to change to fit in.
I love going to punk gigs and seeing that one girl all dressed up, skirt, heels, stockings...oooooo... The fact she is wearing it to a gig like that says that she gets 'it'. Cookie cutter teen rebels shit me to tears. Now, i have to get ready to go out....jeans, cons and a hoodie tonight...errr
Submitted by Pervy (user info) at 2006-03-09 03:33:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Exploited! We're the Barmy Army!
Exploited! We're the Barmy Army!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-03-09 03:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uh, too late to read all that, but since I agree with the title, enjoy a +2.
Submitted by damage.com (user info) at 2006-03-09 03:01:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gently humorous and just plain well-written. It's not often you see a person poke fun at themselves without losing their balance and getting overwrought or defensive. Usually when people poke fun at themselves, they go nuts, describe themselves as utter frothing psychos--and of course that can be funny as hell, and I've seen it done here brilliantly, but this was different in a way I really liked. It's clear-sighted and stable and...sweet.
And yeah, you *do* seem like a cool person, someone I'd like to know.
Kudos!
Submitted by weasul (user info) at 2006-03-09 02:51:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 septum piercing. ayay!
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-09 02:30:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you sound really cool
Submitted by dedre (user info) at 2006-03-09 02:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Like the post, reminds me of this punk-model that's going out with one of my military buds.
And I'm American, but I only catch about 3 hours average of TV a week.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-03-09 00:16:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:40:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting. Why is it that every British and/or Australian writer I can think of here is really good, but there are literally thousands of shitty American writers on this site?
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Because America likes television not writing you twit.
Submitted by Sicknote (user info) at 2006-03-09 00:09:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, that's not me, cuntface.
I shall now sulk, as I rely on anonymous internet users for self esteem.
No, I really do.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-03-09 00:03:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha you look like an idiot.
And not in a "Your unabridged flagrancy and self-deprecating grasp of hardcore punk imagery is a challenge to my lite beer and Abercrombie group-weiner runt sentimentality and the fact that you are so open to expressing yourself undermines MY insecurity about standing out from the group even though i really want to but my ego difficulties that centre around my inability to get it up prevent me from stepping out so i'll express that insecurity by challenging your image choices, superior though they are." way.
More in a "you look like every other fucking idiot" way.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:40:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting. Why is it that every British and/or Australian writer I can think of here is really good, but there are literally thousands of shitty American writers on this site?
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:34:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Post every single day.
I don't know why I liked reading this, but I did.
You like Carcass, maybe that's it.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:34:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
carcass = +2
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:22:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Vomitoxin_AKA_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:11:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MY GIRLFRIEND ISN'T SHAVED BUT I LOVE IT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84929
Submitted by Sicknote (user info) at 2006-03-08 23:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
RESTRAINED fuck fuck fuck