The Greatest Shit of My Life: a memoir. (1696 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.9 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by FartSmeller (View user info) at 2006-03-09 13:30:10 EST
User Reviews
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2009-05-23 16:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I drank some coffee yesterday that didn't quite agree with me. After holding myself hostage for a few hours, I decided that after one particularly large rumble, I should probably sit down to fart in the the toilet....... I knew enough that you never want to test coffee farts.
Sure enough, God as my witness, I farted and shit at the same time in such a way that the trumpeting that my asshole made was not only impressive, it was the most relieving explosion I've ever had in my entire life. I doubled forward and sat there, brown-eye dripping with fatigue, and savored everything for a good twenty minutes.
Unfortunately, as relieving as it was, I can't say the same that mine had no odor or skidmarks. On the contrary, it was probably the most foul-smelling thing I've ever forced out of my body and I must have used up a half a roll cleaning myself up.
Submitted by Replen (user info) at 2009-05-23 15:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-04-28 14:30:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My best shits are usually No-Wipers because it comes out too hard and compressed to leave any poop behind.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-04-28 14:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Come back Fartsmeller.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-03-16 15:23:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-03-16 13:01:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Daniel, I missed you. Looks like we've both been taking some time off from here lately...
Lusty eyes of the wash boys? I laughed so hard a weevil came out of a pore on my face.
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When I read this review, I urinated a green pea that grew into a garden. Is that weird?
Submitted by Agentmorneo (user info) at 2006-03-09 20:30:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HOLY SHIT!! It fell from the Sky, with a golden light. It's also on display in the smithsonian and you can see it for $25.99 per person.
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-03-09 19:33:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-03-09 18:12:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-09 16:16:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
God I love those shits.
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She must mean looking at it because girls don't go poo.
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Must mean that indeed.
I don't know why but I can't laugh or smile with the thought of fecal matter in my mind, but this was better than anything I've read so far, so here's a 1 anyway.
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-03-09 19:00:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
NICE!
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-03-09 18:12:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-09 16:16:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
God I love those shits.
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She must mean looking at it because girls don't go poo.
Submitted by ScotchTape (user info) at 2006-03-09 17:57:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome. What a great tale: a super shit, the epic mother of shit, the shit to end all shits!
Well, until you have shit again...
<hug>
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-03-09 17:30:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bless your heart for the shit that has been taken on this day.
I miss you.
:(
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-09 16:16:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God I love those shits.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-03-09 15:31:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A true turd-jerker.
Submitted by evesapple (user info) at 2006-03-09 15:30:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2+2+2!
i LOVE shits like that!
i usually get them about once a month!
Submitted by Mike00295 (user info) at 2006-03-09 15:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats fart guy.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:56:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No comment.
Submitted by Tormencha (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:53:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mother of God! I actually felt the envy after reading this. My lip quivers for I to remember growing such a tail. It Carvelled, as if it should have been on a cone.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:52:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm still waiting for mine....I hope, although there's been some outstanding smashes in my day.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:50:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by xanderd (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:49:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
if its your own work, very good!
Coincidentally I was literally just writing my own shit story to post tomorrow. I may have to delay now...
...............
Don't hold it in...
Submitted by xanderd (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:49:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
if its your own work, very good!
Coincidentally I was literally just writing my own shit story to post tomorrow. I may have to delay now...
Submitted by _Aries_ (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:40:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Poopreport.com is the greatest website ever.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:28:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thats the SPT post that i like.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:26:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:21:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Bathroom Reader. God bless Uncle John.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:19:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A prostate-massaging ghost crap?
THAT is some good shit.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:18:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
submit to: www.poopreport.com
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:18:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:11:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
..............as a great Roman once uttered..."Caca, Ergo Sum"
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I always heard it: "Carpe Opportunus Crapum" (Seize the opportunity to shit)
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:11:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
..............as a great Roman once uttered..."Caca, Ergo Sum"
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:00:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-03-09 13:59:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry
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Sorry for what? I thought your review was rather funny.
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I gave you a +1 when I wanted to give You +2. Have another.
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:04:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Holy shit!
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:03:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just had one this morning. Except it was hard to get it out. But that just led to enhanced pleasure after it was out. God bless it.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-03-09 14:00:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-03-09 13:59:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry
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Sorry for what? I thought your review was rather funny.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-03-09 13:59:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-03-09 13:54:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Too funny.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-09 13:50:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Been ages since I've had a proper angel shit.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-03-09 13:50:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
When you start getting the specials at Perkins, you'll be wearing a diaper.
You have experienced something unique. Only 1 in 6 men will experience the 'classic' in their lifetime. Congratulations.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-09 13:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-03-09 13:39:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
In the few occasions when I type a post rather than MS Painting it, I feel dirty. Like MS Paint is cursing me for not using it. So I went ahead and gave it the attention it deserved.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-09 13:36:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome, but why not just type it into the submit window?