I got punched in the face by an Uberuser (4225 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.23 on 145 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MeTHoD (View user info) at 2006-03-10 11:27:46 EST
New York City.
Billions of people milling about like ants, or so it seems. On any one block you can see a mixture of ever fucking race on the planet. Odds are that you won't see the same person twice just walking around randomly. Odds are even slimmer that you won't see someone from Ubersite.
So there I was last night, walking up St. Marks, heading back to my car and minding my own business, when someone tapped me on the shoulder and said "Are you Method?" in a whiny, effeminate voice.
I froze. Before I turned around to see who the fuck just called me Method, the wheels in my brain started spinning, trying to figure out if this was a good thing or a bad thing.
I'm an asshole on this site. That doesn't bode well for me in situations like this. I can take care of myself just fine, but when it comes to fucking nutjobs like ETS, who knows what can happen. I hear he's been considering buying an AK-4 for some ungodly reason.
I turned around to see a sloppy, unkempt portly gentleman staring at me with a quizzical look on his face. I stared at him for a second before I realized who he was and what could possibly happen here.
"Umm, yeah, that's me. What's up Will." I replied as the aroma of his unkempt body finally hit me.
"Heeeey, what's up man."
"Nothing. Listen guy, I gotta go, I'm in a hurry"
"Oh yeah? You weren't in a hurry when you called me a fat unfunny piece of shit"
"Yeah, well, you ARE a fat, unfunny piece of shit. What's the problem?"
And that, dear folks, is when his sausage fingers curled up into a fist and he decked me right in the side of the head.
WillZone had just punched me in the head.
I was assaulted by an Uberuser. It didn't really hurt, felt more like getting hit by a sock full of cottage cheese, but I was still stunned that this was actually happening to me.
"YEAH YOU THINK THAT SHIT'S FUNNY, MOTHERFUCKER? I WORK MY ASS OFF AS A COMEDIAN, AND THE LAST THING I NEED IS ASSHOLES LIKE YOU TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME. I BET THAT'S THE LAST -2 YOU'LL EVER GIVE ME, HUH??"
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. This was absolutely ridiculous. He outweighed me by a good hundred thousand pounds, but I was pretty sure I could leave him in a bloody pile of mucus and broken bones without breaking a sweat. I just couldn't believe that my behavior on this site had finally come to bite me on the ass.
So I did what any cold blooded New Yorker would do in this situation.
I planted my fucking fist right into his nose, leaving a putrid mess of cartilage and blood right in the middle of his face.
"OWWWW YOU BROKE MY DOSE" he screeched like a fat little school girl, holding his face, blood pouring through his hands like a broken dam.
I guess it could have been over by then, but I was a little offended that this asshole:
A. Actually defended himself against comments made on an internet forum about how unfunny he is.
B. Punched me in the head.
So I delivered the Coup De Gras and kicked him in his fat American pubis. He crumpled to the floor like a sack of shit, whimpering and snorting blood through his nose, trying to simultaneously hold his nose and his as of yet unused genitals.
By that time people were staring at us, so I high tailed it out of there. The last thing I need is to be arrested over a fucking nerdy internet fight.
I got in my car and got the fuck out of Gotham City. I think Ubersite has gotten out of hand.
Looks like my Uber career, as pointless as it was, is over. I refuse to deal with this anymore. This is just fucking ridiculous. I come here to make fun of people and write stupid shit, but when it affects my real life, that's when I have to call it quits.
It's been fun, people.
Say goodnight to the bad guy.
User Reviews
Submitted by WillZone (user info) at 2006-03-31 13:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for fantasizing about me. Good to know you think about me in your free time.
Submitted by paulblakeford (user info) at 2006-03-24 17:20:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was about to just give it a 1, but this "kicked him in his fat American pubis" line is excellent. If you want any serious writing advice on this thing, I suggest you tighten it up more just for the flow. You've got EVERYTHING else you need for this one. You should consider submitting it to a real publisher.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2006-03-15 09:44:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet I can hit harder.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-14 09:35:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA how did i miss this?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-14 08:13:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Proof in the pudding (from http://www.ubersite.com/m/85228):
---------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-13 18:41:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not going anywhere, you retard.
Since when does anyone believe a goddamm thing I say on this site?
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Now FOR THE LOVE OF GOD let's let this post die.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-14 08:07:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-03-13 22:30:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah right
and monkeys might fly outta my butt
---------------------------------------
WAYNE'S WORLD
WAYNE'S WORLD
IT'S PARTY TIME!!
EXCELLENT!!!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-14 00:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85276
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-03-13 22:30:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah right
and monkeys might fly outta my butt
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-13 11:36:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2700 hits for this fag-a-thon post?
Uber is getting really sad.
I just had one of those ESP moments.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-13 09:12:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MeTHoD's eulogy: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85228
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2006-03-13 05:53:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-03-11 14:06:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
this did not happen, it was me.
i smacked you in your big fat greek head because the kebab you sold me was shit.
MEXICANS ARE BETTER THAN YOU BUZZCUT
-
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:07:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
who's method?
are you sure it wasn't apollo that punched you?
-
I told you it was that fat headed rapist.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-13 05:52:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But it was fiction. Method actually has a very generic face. He could be anyone of the millions of greeks living in New York. Indeed, you could even mistake some Italian sucka for him. He's just got a very bland yet slightly ethnic face. It's too full for him to pass as an eastern european though. Shame really, I bet he'd love to introduce himself to people as Igor.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-13 05:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-13 05:13:39 (#)
Ranking: 1
oooh so it's like the basement scene in Pulp Fiction? gotcha
-------
Eactly. Only it was Will Zone on a busy street in New York City and there was no rape. Also Method, sadly, did not get a new motorbike out of the whole event.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-13 05:13:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
oooh so it's like the basement scene in Pulp Fiction? gotcha
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-13 04:58:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-13 04:50:26 (#)
Ranking: 1
if anybody deserves to be abused, it's cripples, man. especially retarded cripples.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-13 04:49:21 (#)
Ranking: 1
so... what's wrong with that?
------------
It's just one of those things. It's regarded as 'poor form', like molesting unconsious teenage girls. I mean, we all do it but it's not something that can really be described as laudable.
Then again, masturbation used to be viewed in the same light but now is seen as not only acceptable but neccesary. I mean, I'm a man who believes in freedom for everyone, including drug addicts, pedo's and so on, but can this only be achieved at the expense of the vulnerable members of society?
I hope not because that would make me some kind of neo-liberal conservative. That shit is wack, man.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-13 04:50:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
if anybody deserves to be abused, it's cripples, man. especially retarded cripples.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-13 04:49:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
so... what's wrong with that?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-13 04:37:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-13 04:20:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
funny, but due to the fact i don't really pay much attention to Uberdrama, i have no idea why everybody is all 'wow if that really happened, you shouldn't have done that to him Method, that was mean you big meanie.' someone care to enlighten me??
----------------------
Punching Will Zone would be a bit like punching a wheelchair bound, angry, retarded person who had just called you a "bwastwad".
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-13 04:20:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
funny, but due to the fact i don't really pay much attention to Uberdrama, i have no idea why everybody is all 'wow if that really happened, you shouldn't have done that to him Method, that was mean you big meanie.' someone care to enlighten me??
Submitted by NewestIndustry (user info) at 2006-03-12 22:40:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't quit, you rule. P.S. It's not just Uber that's having bullocks like this go on; it's the whole fucking internet! People these days are so goddamn stupid...
Submitted by Donitsu2002 (user info) at 2006-03-12 10:49:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i like how all of these people come out of the woodwork to say "OMFG I HAT3 U M37H0D FAG! LOLROFLMAOBBQ!!1"
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-12 09:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:41:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
"coka-roach"
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2006-03-12 04:38:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh boo hoo, you haven't had shit until Rads kicked your ass in his front lawn. Fucker
Banga
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-03-12 00:44:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-11 19:04:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-03-11 18:59:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to be punched in the head by a uber user.
_____________________________________________________________
Post yer address....
WillZone is really an alter of Method.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Washington, District of Columbia. I dont know my area code.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-11 22:05:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more rape, though.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-03-11 21:31:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hopefully ubersite will run faster now without 13,000 alters clogging it.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-11 19:04:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-03-11 18:59:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to be punched in the head by a uber user.
_____________________________________________________________
Post yer address....
WillZone is really an alter of Method.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-03-11 19:03:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I really hope you did punch some Uberfuck in the nose.
Don't be a fag and leave, though.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-03-11 18:59:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to be punched in the head by a uber user.
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-03-11 16:51:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Trying to climb back up the MVA again poopy?
This can't NOT work.
I hate you you heat generating bass-tad.
Oh, and I'm probably not the first to call Shenanigans but i'm definitely first to call SHNENANGINANS (unless Electro beat me to it before I was even on OOBERSITE).
Submitted by extacy_red (user info) at 2006-03-11 15:02:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-03-11 14:06:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this did not happen, it was me.
i smacked you in your big fat greek head because the kebab you sold me was shit.
MEXICANS ARE BETTER THAN YOU BUZZCUT.
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2006-03-11 09:46:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shenanigans or not, funny either way.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-11 07:51:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
LOL
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-11 07:02:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahahahahha.
Shenanigans. But awesome shenanigans.
Submitted by Wisher (user info) at 2006-03-11 05:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You made this up, which makes it better. PS: the pic sucked big swollen mule balls. {Do mule's even have balls? That's how messed up this is.}
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-11 04:45:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Astropath (user info) at 2006-03-10 19:22:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
That is so fucking ghey. Who gets all upset over the INTERNET ?!?
----
Astropath = Method.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-11 04:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is everyone taking this post so seriously? It's Method for fuck's sake.
He ain't going anywhere... EVER!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-11 04:43:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You should have kicked him in the eyeball.
You're a fag, method.
Submitted by FannyGrady (user info) at 2006-03-10 23:33:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Aufwiedersehn
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-03-10 23:22:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sh-sh-sh---shenanan (I can't spell it so fuck you).
I think if I saw you in real life, I would say "hey Method" and keep walking along as if nothing happened. ALL YOU UBER CELEBRITIES CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-03-10 21:58:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
go fuck yourself
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2006-03-10 21:24:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was simply awesome.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-03-10 20:12:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You could have said, no not me.
Submitted by Astropath (user info) at 2006-03-10 19:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That is so fucking ghey. Who gets all upset over the INTERNET ?!?
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-03-10 19:16:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:13:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
NOW IS THE TIME WHEN WE DANCE ON SPROCKETS
----
I don't know why, but this had me laughing out loud... Back when that show was good...
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-03-10 19:07:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2006-03-10 18:18:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
"AK-47. When you absolutely, positively have to kill every mother fucker in the room....Except no substitutes."
Anyone?
--------------
Jackie Brown
(Quentin Tarantinowned)
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2006-03-10 18:57:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shenanigans.
Submitted by Smack_Fuck (user info) at 2006-03-10 18:49:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
One for the road.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2006-03-10 18:18:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"AK-47. When you absolutely, positively have to kill every mother fucker in the room....Except no substitutes."
Anyone?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-10 18:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're a filthy fucking liar.
You hate "I'm leaving" posts.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-10 16:56:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought that "tea" could help bring all of these fag/homos together, and peace and harmony could reign supreme once again in Uberland.
I have never had even a sip of tea in my life. I'd rather drink Robitussin. straight up.
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-03-10 16:48:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-10 16:43:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
OK...It seems to be unanimous.
No one likes WillZone...OR Method.
I'm glad that settled.
Now, let's have tea.
What kind of crumpet fucker drinks tea? You're getting soft in your old age Shlongy.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-03-10 16:47:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
bye
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-10 16:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OK...It seems to be unanimous.
No one likes WillZone...OR Method.
I'm glad that settled.
Now, let's have tea.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-03-10 16:41:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why didn't you piledrive him?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-10 16:39:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:33:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
"He outweighed me by a good hundred thousand pounds"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I have no idea why I find WillZone bashing to be so hilarious.
---
Because he's not as funny as he used to be?
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2006-03-10 16:20:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope this is true. Nothing personal, but you bother me.
I guess theres really no other way to take that but personally.
Meh.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-03-10 16:02:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
don't let the door hit ya and all that shit.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-03-10 15:41:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No you can't leave!
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-10 15:36:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was assaulted by an Uberuser. It didn't really hurt, felt more like getting hit by a sock full of cottage cheese, but I was still stunned that this was actually happening to me.
------------------
hahaha!!!!!!!!!
i pee peed a little.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-03-10 15:17:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My husband is straight, thank you. Swingers do play alone, you know. Plus factor in the actual chances of this happening.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah but if michelle gives you head i think her husband has to be somehow involved. you should probably try and get some from a single chick. there won't be a dick/finger/fist waiting for the right moment.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:58:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:53:01 (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
===
?????????????????
SAY SOMETHING, FUCKIN COWARD
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:18:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll blow you and make it all better.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:42:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I kiss it and make it all better?
------------------
SOMEONE PUNCH ME IN THE FACE!!! HURRY!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:13:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
NOW IS THE TIME WHEN WE DANCE ON SPROCKETS
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:13:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAVEN'T I?
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
SURELY I'VE GIVEN BETTER RATINGS THAN THAT?
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:11:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I CLICKED ON THAT VAG! FUCK CAULAINCOURT
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:11:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
awwww my biggest fan is warming up to me! My first -1 from him!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:10:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
omg! funniest story ever method! your the cats meow.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:07:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha u dirty sonofabitch, you got me
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:06:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Click here! http://tinyurl.com/cob77
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:05:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no shit einstein, but you brought it into use on this site, no one ever did before and it's quite amusing
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-10 14:04:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:55:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, there's Caul to nitpick. I knew there was somethign wrong with that phrase.
But hey, I used your word pubis!
===
Pubis is an english word, my gras friend.
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:58:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha.
I guess ETS wasn't kidding when he said that negative ratings could lead to dire consequences.
DIIIIIRE CONNNNNNNSEQUENCES!
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:41:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
i wish this were true - not that you're leaving - but that you met willzone in the street and punched him in the face.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:55:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, there's Caul to nitpick. I knew there was somethign wrong with that phrase.
But hey, I used your word pubis!
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:54:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:03:42 (#)
Ranking: 1
it's more like a loser fantasy
______________________________
Bingo!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:47:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
felt more like getting hit by a sock full of cottage cheese,"""
HAHAHAH, best analogy ever +2
Coup De Gras? How american of you: Gras=Fat. IT'S "COUP DE GRÂCE" YOU ILLITERATE FETA MUNCHER! -2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:41:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you didn't seem to care that you drove ME from the site by calling me a 'nutjob'. this is karmic!
i wish this were true - not that you're leaving - but that you met willzone in the street and punched him in the face.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:41:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah, sure Urbane, see you next week...
Submitted by Misanthropic (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:37:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Some people take this site waaay too seriously
Submitted by angryrob (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:35:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for letting a fat little bitch get what he wants out of you... go ahead stop posting, he wins and i have one less person to cheer me up when im sitting in the reality of my shit life.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:30:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're gonna have to travel though, Method. I don't dare drive in NYC. I hardly drive in Philly.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:26:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A blowjob offer is usually more than enough incentive to bring someone back from the "I'm taking my ball and going home" list.
Submitted by _Aries_ (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:21:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Bummer dude.
So, wanna come over later and watch the Big Lebowski?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:19:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, that's a pretty tempting offer
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:18:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll blow you and make it all better.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:42:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I kiss it and make it all better?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:07:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't leave, Method. Without you to slap me down occasionally, I'll have to pray for the same lame shots from TigerLilly....
And on the extraordinarily outside chance this is true, you should have had him arrested for assault so he could more accurately portray prison rape in his "funny" act.
Submitted by beatjunky (user info) at 2006-03-10 13:07:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
who's method?
are you sure it wasn't apollo that punched you?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:57:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well what do you know?
I don't give a fuck either way. Method makes me laugh, but so do plenty of other people around here. They'll take your place Papadopolous.
In the same way that people signing on now have no idea who Eric Rice is, or Urbane or any of the other "in" jokes on the site, you'll become a footnote. The most heartening thing about that is that you wouldn't care in the least.
But....I don't think he's gonna leave. If you really did kick Will's ass though I'm pretty horrified. That's fucked up in a VERY big way. I'll need some documentation on this one. I want to see Will post a comment here about the incident.
Maybe, in light of this, there will be no more information released about scourge on this site ever again.
I've never really fought with ETS, but it's bound to happen, and he lives rather close to me. And I did see some comment about him and an AK-47 somewhere
gah
bart, please erase a few of my posts for me? Okay? Thanks.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:43:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'd say nutjobs in nyc are at a higher concentration than even uber.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:43:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:12:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
willzone is a hack auto +2
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:42:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I kiss it and make it all better?
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:41:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"coka-roach"
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:38:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For some weird reason, I'm reluctant to believe you...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:36:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's ok. better that than banning.
It was a nice gesture, though..
and here on Uber, we are all about gestures.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 08:15:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Crystle, looks like Bart took away my heat generating abilities = (
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:33:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a NON nutjob but an ardent identifier of this affliction.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:31:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Speak for yourself, Shlongy. All crazy and shit down in South Carolinaland.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:27:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is fucking hilarious AND 100% TRUE.
Nutjobs are everywhere in society and probably, of an even higher proportion on Ubersite.
Submitted by Grimm (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:26:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:06:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
"The last thing I need is to be arrested over a fucking nerdy internet fight."
This was probably one of the best sentances I've ever read on this site.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:19:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not gonna bother asking if this is true or not.
I'm just gonna say the first thing I did after reading this was to make sure Method himself really posted this.
Oh, and if it's now socially acceptable for Uberusers to strike one another, can I go hit Habeeb? Please?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:14:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't worry...I'm not going anywhere.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:12:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
willzone is a hack auto +2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:07:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:03:42 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:00:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is cool if it's true, and also if it isn't.
______________________________
not really. it's more like a loser fantasy. all he left out was the beautiful girl that saw his amazing exhibition of masculinity.
----
No it's awesome. If Merlina or W_A_Y_S_T_R_Y_M turned up and started a street fight it would be great fun. And if it's made up it's funny cos of all the drama that has already ensued.
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:06:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The last thing I need is to be arrested over a fucking nerdy internet fight."
This was probably one of the best sentances I've ever read on this site.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:05:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
actually, i got to drop it down, because you think you're mickey rourke.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:04:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fibber.
It is funny though.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:03:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:00:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is cool if it's true, and also if it isn't.
______________________________
not really. it's more like a loser fantasy. all he left out was the beautiful girl that saw his amazing exhibition of masculinity.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
After you leave will you send me nekkid pics of yourself??
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:02:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Started a review and only filled out the rating which I set to a +2. Then I left my computer and now came back. I don't remember what this was about but apparently I enjoyed it.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-10 12:00:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is cool if it's true, and also if it isn't.
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:59:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I believe this like I believed the "naked pictures of my ex" post
willzone is a hack auto +2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:58:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:36:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Not shenanigans, sorry. I'm changing my password and never coming to this God forsaken place ever again. I'm sure I'll browse, but no more posting or reviewing.
=========
DON'T GO.
Oh wait..you didn't say no alters.
I feel better now.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:52:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Also, make a list of the people who think this is true so I can call them idiots for future reference.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:52:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yep, definately shenanigans
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:52:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha, I forget to take out the original submition, I suck...
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:52:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Get your licks in while you can, GLALL. Too bad you're gonna have to find someone else to stalk on this site from now on. But hey, you always have that wall in your house that you've plastered with all of my posts
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:51:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:44:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude when you called me last night and told me this, I was stunned. I couldn't believe you had the nerve to try and reverse charges on an international call and the fact that it was 3am here.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:51:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
well the story up until the part where you said you're leaving was funny. that's not funny. wtf you're like a founding father that molests us in our sleep, you can't just bail. we NEED you here to function properly. come on, when life gives you aids, make lemonaids.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:50:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This story is pathetic. I wish that I could get the wind to make a fist and punch you in the stomach for thinking this is funny. I hope you die before you have another chance to copulate into a woman's hair. Maybe you should take that shampoo bottle you like making out with and try to eat it. Maybe then you would experience and understand the pain that this is putting WillZone through.
I can't wait until you die at 30 from being a general obese fatfuck yourself. Go eat some more McDonald's and write another post about how cool you are while the world passes you by. I also heard that working and getting things accomplished prevents you from having time to be a sour cunt towards everyone. Is that true? ETS is cool.
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:49:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You've got to be fucking kidding me. I'll call you in a bit.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:48:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is this a joke? You are my favorite.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:47:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
no
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:46:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If it makes you feel any better, I always thought he sucked.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:44:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn caps lock...
Dude when you called me last night and told me this, i was stunned. I couldn't believe it. I really couldn't. I'm so sorry babe.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:43:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
#1 Most Heated by 3:00 PM CST. Any bets?
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:43:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG! NO ONE EVER SAYS THEY ARE GOING TO QUIT UBER 4EVA AND DOES A GOODBYE POST!
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:42:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't leave Method. Without you, Caul wont have anyone to keep him in check. Before you know it, Uber is full of Frenchies.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:42:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:39:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking a. You know, you could auction off your account for a hefty sum, I bet.
-------------------
Who would pay for an account that automatically gets banned once every 2 months?
-Dave
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:42:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't believe this.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:42:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
That would be really fucking sad if I actually got money for this account
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:40:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're leaving, then are you also gonna come clean on who all of your alters are?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking a. You know, you could auction off your account for a hefty sum, I bet.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:37:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"like getting hit by a sock full of cottage cheese" +2 brilliance.
Just make sure you stay out of Fat Tony's hood in California (or wherever that fat fuck lives). Would be humiliating to get decked by your own alter.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not shenanigans, sorry. I'm changing my password and never coming to this God forsaken place ever again. I'm sure I'll browse, but no more posting or reviewing.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:35:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fat American pubis
--------------
I can see Pubis becoming the new 'in' word.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:35:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shenanigans?
Uber wouldn't be the same without you.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:33:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"He outweighed me by a good hundred thousand pounds"
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I have no idea why I find WillZone bashing to be so hilarious.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:32:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nare malaka, you just gonna let him run you out of town?
Pussy.
Take 2, 'cos i gang-banged your friend, and it was the best advice you've ever given me.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:32:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like my Uber career, as pointless as it was, is over. I refuse to deal with this anymore. This is just fucking ridiculous. I come here to make fun of people and write stupid shit, but when it affects my real life, that's when I have to call it quits.
----------
NOOOO! You can't go. Most Uber people are normal people, normal and excellent people!
If you leave I'll kill myself! No, wait, if you leave I'll kill your mum!
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:32:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha. You so deserved it.
Although this is clearly assault - call JewToast.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:32:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's always hard to put any validity into anything you say, but true or not the idea of getting into a fight over ubersite is definately funny.
Unlike Will.
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-10 11:30:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Say goodnight to the bad guy. "
Bickerstaff?