FUPA: Round 1 Matchups/Theme (7305 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: fupa
Rating: 1.1 on 596 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-03-13 12:36:09 EST
You all know how this works by now: We post, we rate, we tally, we win and lose. Lather, rinse, repeat...until we have a winner.
Here's the basic timetable for this beast:
With 28 competitors we're looking at five rounds: 28 - 14 - 8 (7 winners + highest rated loser) - 4 - 2 - victor.
Rd. 1: THEME: LOVE/LOSS -- posts due by 3.20
Rd. 2: pairings/theme posted 3.23 -- posts due by 3.27
Rd. 3: pairings/theme posted 3.30 -- posts due by 4.3
Rd. 4: pairings/theme posted 4.7 -- posts due by 4.10
Rd. 5: pairings/theme posted 4.13 -- posts due by 4.17
Winner announced 4.19
I've drawn pairings at random from the Almighty Boston Red Sox Hat of Venture Capitalism and Samba Beats. Some of them are...we'll, you'll see. Some of them should prove interesting.
The bracket is designed such that it looks like winners will filter down to meet up with the winner of the match below them. This is not the case. Each round will have pairings drawn at random, and I'll update the bracket accordingly.
In addition to names, I also threw a number of themes into the hat and drew those randomly as well, so each round already has its corresponding theme. Whenever one was drawn I added its opposite, partner or logical relation to it to make it a bit more engaging and open. Look below, you'll see.
A word about this 'theme' idea: I didn't want everyone to swap titles for fear that would be too limiting. I did't want to assign every pairing a theme of their own, because that would be too crazy. The theme is simply a jumping off point from which to draw inspiration, and with which to invovle your poem...you can involve the themes however you want to in your pieces, provided that the posts have something to do with them. So, for 'love,' you can pretty much do anything under the sun involving the joy of, loss of, growing of, physicality of, start of, depths of, pain of, or craziness of love (or more...you get the point). You can write a love story, examine the emotion, whatever. Whatever you're moved to do. I know this is much, much more open-ended than other writing comps around here. I think we'll be fine, though.
Feel free to use any form or style you wish. If you're new to this game and want a bit of a jumping off point, check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poem Towards the bottom of the page there are a number of links that detail a variety of forms and structures, if you're looking to try your hand at something different or want to know what all of your options are. I'll post some more reference links down below when I have the time.
When you've posted your piece, provide the link to it here in a reply.
To make it easier on everyone, include 'FUPA' somewhere in your post's title.
Feel free to ask questions below. I'm sure I've forgotten something.
I hope everyone enjoys this. Good luck.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:11:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-23 12:59:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85358
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-23 12:28:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Woo-hoo! Ass-poeming offer duly rescinded.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-23 12:23:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
O-Man, you'd better be posting the round 2 stuff up soon or I'm gonna go medieval poem style on your ass.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-22 20:55:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-22 20:40:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
My folks said
I gotta get myself a job
Cause they ain't gonna support me
Well if all I am to them
Is just some lazy slob
Why didn't they abort me?
__________________________________
How many people here have asked you that question? :)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-22 20:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My folks said
I gotta get myself a job
Cause they ain't gonna support me
Well if all I am to them
Is just some lazy slob
Why didn't they abort me?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-22 20:38:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
+4 for Dead Milkmen!!!
-6 for posting it in this garbage post.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-22 19:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I've got nowhere to go
Just hang out on the street
My folks say I've got no ambition
At least I give a shit
About the stuff I eat
Yeah! I care about nutrition!"
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-22 11:36:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 22:53:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
ghola, have you tried Baker's Square? Their pies are deeeelish!
-------
no but i shall promptly go and purchase one to devour.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-22 10:08:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlong- I don't believe you rated mine. Can I expect my rating to drop any time now?
I'm not sure how I feel about bringing this to your attention.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-22 09:59:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I rated them all.
But then I got DQ-ed.
Life is strange like that...you do a nice thing...make a thoughtful gesture...really put the time and effort to care about your fellow competitors...
...and you get kicked out by the homo poetry gestapo.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-22 09:13:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a little disappointed in the number of reviews on some of these so far, to be honest. I expected at least the contestants to put forth enough effort to rate the entries- it took a bit of effort, but I made the time to do so. I hope things pick up before the round closes tonight.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-22 08:58:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, O-Man, when are the results gonna be posted?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-03-22 02:26:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
did I even sign up for this?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 22:53:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ghola, have you tried Baker's Square? Their pies are deeeelish!
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-21 21:42:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-21 21:39:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-21 20:57:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
wifey, i have no pie as of yet.
i'm getting pissy.
everyone can expect -2's in the morning if i have no pie.
seriously.
------------
Oh noes!
+
posh. she'll have cake on thursday...
have cake and eat it too.
and then she goes on and on about how god is an indian giver...
life just doesn't satify a ninja living a pirates life who randomly zombies people.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-21 21:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-21 20:57:15 (#)
Ranking: 2
wifey, i have no pie as of yet.
i'm getting pissy.
everyone can expect -2's in the morning if i have no pie.
seriously.
------------
Oh noes!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-21 21:13:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fur burgers. Bearded clams (hold the red sauce)...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 21:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't you have hair pie?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-21 20:57:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 19:45:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
I have finally, officially, and diligently rated all of these bitches.
And now I want pie.
ghola, I'm looking at you.
Wake me from my nap when it's ready for me, please.
------------
wifey, i have no pie as of yet.
i'm getting pissy.
everyone can expect -2's in the morning if i have no pie.
seriously.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-21 20:08:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sacky wants Ghola's pie? Heh......
Don't we all?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 19:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have finally, officially, and diligently rated all of these bitches.
And now I want pie.
ghola, I'm looking at you.
Wake me from my nap when it's ready for me, please.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 17:54:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
...as Shlongy takes a bow...
MNow, I think I'll take a dump, too.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 17:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:34:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Orgasmoe- Keep up the good work. Love what you've done with "the rules".
Auschwitz had fewer rules.
At your present pace, you should have this down to 7 people that you can easily manipulate, and victory in your little pee party will be within your grasp!
You have a helluva career ahead of you in upper management - in fact, I'm thinking "consultant" - that way, you can spread your incompetence around in a magnitude last seen in Donald Sterling, 1988-2005.
---------
This is classic Shlongy.
One of the best reviews EVAR seen in this talentless hell-hole
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-21 17:21:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
where is my pie bitches.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:40:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oopsie.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:38:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:15:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:04:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
What, you didn't get MY e-mail?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Yours isn't the one with the tits???
==================================================================
Fuck. I meant for THAT e-mail to go to ETS.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:04:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:52:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
3 more emails have arrived on this latest Uber controversy.
One said "Why do you want to even be IN that dick sucking contest anyway?"...
Number 2 said "Why don't you shut the fuck up, you scrawny old faggot?" That one was "anonymous" - THAT'S a big surprise.
The third one was a cell phone picture of one of our esteemed female Uberite's tits.
Thanks sweetie...I needed that "pick me up".
So it looks like three more votes for reinstatement for Shlongy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
What, you didn't get MY e-mail?
Yours isn't the one with the tits???
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:07:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:01:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy has been DQ-ed and I'm pretty certain that somehow, it's YOUR fault.
That about sums it up here, Bob.
---
Thanks Neal.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:04:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:52:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
3 more emails have arrived on this latest Uber controversy.
One said "Why do you want to even be IN that dick sucking contest anyway?"...
Number 2 said "Why don't you shut the fuck up, you scrawny old faggot?" That one was "anonymous" - THAT'S a big surprise.
The third one was a cell phone picture of one of our esteemed female Uberite's tits.
Thanks sweetie...I needed that "pick me up".
So it looks like three more votes for reinstatement for Shlongy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
What, you didn't get MY e-mail?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:01:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy has been DQ-ed and I'm pretty certain that somehow, it's YOUR fault.
That about sums it up here, Bob.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:01:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
nothing really, scourge. some guy just got mad at me because i -2ed his poem and he thought it was retaliation. so then he tried to get me kicked out based on that review by orgo. thing is, i really didn't care one way or the other, so i was just saying "whatever dude...."
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:58:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:29:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
orgasmatron man sir --
i would like to respectfully submit my resignation in this contest. based upon a review of yours that has recently (and thankfully) brought to my attention (http://www.ubersite.com/m/85248#1888015 ), i feel it would be unfair for me to continue on. i would not like to be the reason for this contest to be subjected to criticisms of unfair practices, and my particpation could do just that. thank you for all of your hard work, and thank you coleslaw for bringing this to my attention.
===
I believe he was talking about multiple posts wardy, not multiple pieces within a post. I reviewed your post as a whole and each part of it contributed to the single rating.
What the hell has been going on here?
I'm too lazy to read all those new reviews. Somebody summarize in 30 or so words so that I'm up to speed and know who to think poorly of.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:55:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:34:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
Arf!
Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!
Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!
Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!
Arf! Arf!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:52:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
3 more emails have arrived on this latest Uber controversy.
One said "Why do you want to even be IN that dick sucking contest anyway?"...
Number 2 said "Why don't you shut the fuck up, you scrawny old faggot?" That one was "anonymous" - THAT'S a big surprise.
The third one was a cell phone picture of one of our esteemed female Uberite's tits.
Thanks sweetie...I needed that "pick me up".
So it looks like three more votes for reinstatement for Shlongy.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:39:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ah, shlongy i just cracked up. thanks.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:34:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Orgasmoe- Keep up the good work. Love what you've done with "the rules".
Auschwitz had fewer rules.
At your present pace, you should have this down to 7 people that you can easily manipulate, and victory in your little pee party will be within your grasp!
You have a helluva career ahead of you in upper management - in fact, I'm thinking "consultant" - that way, you can spread your incompetence around in a magnitude last seen in Donald Sterling, 1988-2005.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:30:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, well nevermind that.
hooray!
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:29:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
orgasmatron man sir --
i would like to respectfully submit my resignation in this contest. based upon a review of yours that has recently (and thankfully) brought to my attention (http://www.ubersite.com/m/85248#1888015 ), i feel it would be unfair for me to continue on. i would not like to be the reason for this contest to be subjected to criticisms of unfair practices, and my particpation could do just that. thank you for all of your hard work, and thank you coleslaw for bringing this to my attention.
love,
wardy.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85555 -- forfeit. sad tears, cry river, die lonely. :(
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:28:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:10:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Orgasmatron,
Based on what you said here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85248#1888015 (which was in response to the question directly below it).
Could I, say, post an entry with 15 (or so) haikus in a series? Just wondering.
---
As long as what you write is contained within the frame of one post, knock yourself out.
What I meant was that you can't submit a Round 2 post on Tues., then another Round 2 post later that day, or on Wed., and another on Thurs., etc.
So...you can't submit 15 individual posts and expect them to all count, but if you want to write 15 haikus that work together in one post that's great.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:18:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Uhhhhhhhhhh...
Neeeeeeeeeeooo.
I can't do that. If I did, I'd never be able to live with myself.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:12:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:59:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
It sounds simple to me. Nitty penned an entry. Shlongy didn't. You can't go on to round 2 if you didn't write for round one. I would have loved to see them both move on, but Shlongy chose not to write so he made that decision for himself.
Orgasmatron didn't ask for any of this gayass drama, and now he's being forced to answer to you crybabies? This is so lame.
What's done is done, but I imagine if the contestants HAD voted, the results would have been about the same.
--------------------------------
I think the woman has just put all of us in our place. For the love of God let's let this post DIE!
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Orgasmatron,
Based on what you said here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85248#1888015 (which was in response to the question directly below it).
Could I, say, post an entry with 15 (or so) haikus in a series? Just wondering.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It might be tough coming up with an original idea for my Round 2 submission.
I might need some assistance from an outside source.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oooohh...another tough match-up!
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:39:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'll play you!
What a matchup!
Whatever will be the outcome?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:33:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So, who do I play next???
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:32:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's funny that you asked for a "petition", orgasmoe -
I happen to have received 15 e-mails to the nolan.at.baseballwriter.net account.
The tally so far:
12 "You should still be ins"
2 No opinion
1 "You're still a faggot" (That one was from Swamp Donkey, I believe)
So it looks like I'm BACK IN THE GAME!!! Congratulations to me, and a smart move by you, Tagliabue.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Go ahead and put together a petition, Shlongy. Or an informal vote.
See how many of the 28 participants think that your entry deserves to be treated the same as theirs.
That should give you something to do for a while.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:18:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:02:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I remember why I only use my alter to give negative ratings. 'Cause even when you're being honest you still get the whiny retaliatory ratings. Lesson re-learned.
------------------
whoops... i responded to this on your post, not this one.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:09:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Alters are almost as bad as poets, Eisenhauer.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I remember why I only use my alter to give negative ratings. 'Cause even when you're being honest you still get the whiny retaliatory ratings. Lesson re-learned.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:28:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:13:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
4) Shlongy was the big audience draw IN this contest --- um, sir... i believe i am the big draw in this contest -- but it's okay.
5) Who died and made orgasmo the "poetry czar"? --- no one, he just has six followers that make it appear that way.
6) Poetry homos need to learn a sense of humor --- i like butt sex, i don't really know how to respond to this.
7) Fuck me --- see above line.
8) fuck you --- three times a day since i was twelve.
9) This contest will die a long, slow, sleep inducing death before it gets to the end --- not if i can help it. you ever think somebody would advance with haikus? huh? just wait for the shit storm i'm brewing for the next round....
and sacrilililicious, i have giant, grapefruit sized balls. one time, during a late night teabagging, i actually killed a woman. i can see why shlongy is probably sitting at his keyboard laughing histerically at the heat he's generated from his 100th post... bravo shlongy, bravo...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:09:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, I apologize. I'm not mad at you.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:07:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm pretty sure you've been asking contestants for a vote from the beginning, no, Shlong?
I was paying you respect by casting mine.
And I have more balls than a lot of you so called "men", so if you can't find one, you know where to find me, darling. But make it important, because my patience for this shitstirring is wearing thin.
Kisses.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:02:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Who asked you, bitch?
Go make me a sandwich and leave this discussion to the men...I just hope I can find another one to discuss this issue with.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:59:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
For people who don't give a fuck about poetry or "silly internet contests" there seems to be a whole lot of panties in a bunch.
Orgasmatron offered to organize something that would encourage us to write, and I imagine he didn't know he'd have to pen a fucking charter for it to keep anything or anyone fair and in line.
It's sounds simple to me. Nitty penned an entry. Shlongy didn't. You can't go on to round 2 if you didn't write for round one. I would have loved to see them both move on, but Shlongy chose not to write so he made that decision for himself.
Orgasmatron didn't ask for any of this gayass drama, and now he's being forced to answer to you crybabies? This is so lame.
What's done is done, but I imagine if the contestants HAD voted, the results would have been about the same.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:54:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:36:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sphagnum:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85248#1892610
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85248#1892708
-----
Ok, so Shlongy came up with the idea and Nitty constructed the piece.
Seems to me they were working as a team.
Therefore, neither of them plagiarised anything.
Why do I bother arguing? I don't even care.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:43:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you, orgasmoron...What if I lied to keep one of us in the contest?
Maybe we just gave you an answer that you wanted to hear.
You should NOT be making any unilateral decisions. This is NOT your contest. It's Ubers.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:36:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sphagnum:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85248#1892610
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85248#1892708
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:34:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:13:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Are we really still discussing this?
Sphagnum:
I'm making up rules after the fact?
There was nothing suggesting that plagiarism wasn't allowed?
Does that really need to be spelled out?
If someone posted a Wordsworth poem, would it be wrong of me to disqualify them?
If someone submitted copied and pasted something from another forum - that they didn't write - would I really have to go into the reasons why they should be disqualified?
------
How is this plagiarism? Unless I am missing something in the 8million reviews this jerk-fest got, it has been established that nitty and/or shlongy wrote the poem, then they both posted it.
If the idea were that of the two of them, then neither has been guilty of plagiarism.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:26:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:15:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:56:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
And you did not.
I guess what I'm trying to say is;
"Shut the fuck up, nobody"
-----
And yet, I did participate: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85248#1893059 , which is what allowed you to give a retaliatory rating.
Go eat more dick, alter.
-----
Great! Now lameass alters are calling ME an alter.
Like I said, it wasn't a retaliatory rating. Your post was just crap.
You should feel blessed that Sphagnum even bothered clicking on it, assface.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:16:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think any call on a DQ should be put to a vote of the participants.
Like I said earlier...this is NOT your contest - you are simply organizing it and running it for the 64 Uberites who signed up for it.
Put it to a vote of the Uber Tribunal of Rules and Regulations.
Make sure it's made up of at least some B-Listers...not C-listers like most of the participants in this thing.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:15:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:56:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
And you did not.
I guess what I'm trying to say is;
"Shut the fuck up, nobody"
-----
And yet, I did participate: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85248#1893059 , which is what allowed you to give a retaliatory rating.
Go eat more dick, alter.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:13:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are we really still discussing this?
Sphagnum:
I'm making up rules after the fact?
There was nothing suggesting that plagiarism wasn't allowed?
Does that really need to be spelled out?
If someone posted a Wordsworth poem, would it be wrong of me to disqualify them?
If someone submitted copied and pasted something from another forum - that they didn't write - would I really have to go into the reasons why they should be disqualified?
Shlongy:
You remind me of the antics-pulling kid in high school who gets a free pass from everyone after he's been called out on his shit. Moan all you like if you think I'm playing the disciplinarian, but you shouldn't participate in something if you assume you're just going to get your way.
As I said, I know you're better than this. I'm sure you knew this is what would happen. It's a shame, too, because as a concept your idea was pretty funny. You just picked the wrong time, or the wrong venue, to unleash it upon the masses.
If anyone really wants to discuss this more, feel free to email me: orgasmatron2029.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:10:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:05:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't see how. I'm NEVER wrong.
-----
Wrong AGAIN, dickeater.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:05:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't see how. I'm NEVER wrong.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:04:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:00:18 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:21:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
Please point out exactly where it says that two opponents in the bracket could not work together or anyone else for that matter?
I'm all for you DQing someone if they break the rules, but making rules up retrospectively after someone has manipulated your crap competition is extremely pathetic. Not that expected any better from you sandal wearing, ass grabbing, pencil pushing pullsmokers.
I thought Dprime madness would be the worst competition I'd ever see here.
Miraculously, for the first time in my life, I was wrong.
When Spfaggy is on Shlongy's side in a dispute, you KNOW you fucked up your decision!
On a side note, I'm also thinking that this WASN'T the first time Sphagnum's been wrong.
------
Well you're wrong.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:21:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
Please point out exactly where it says that two opponents in the bracket could not work together or anyone else for that matter?
I'm all for you DQing someone if they break the rules, but making rules up retrospectively after someone has manipulated your crap competition is extremely pathetic. Not that expected any better from you sandal wearing, ass grabbing, pencil pushing pullsmokers.
I thought Dprime madness would be the worst competition I'd ever see here.
Miraculously, for the first time in my life, I was wrong.
When Spfaggy is on Shlongy's side in a dispute, you KNOW you fucked up your decision!
On a side note, I'm also thinking that this WASN'T the first time Sphagnum's been wrong.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:56:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:48:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
And yet, you participated.
|
|
|
v
------
And you did not.
I guess what I'm trying to say is;
"Shut the fuck up, nobody"
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:48:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And yet, you participated.
|
|
|
v
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:21:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Please point out exactly where it says that two opponents in the bracket could not work together or anyone else for that matter?
I'm all for you DQing someone if they break the rules, but making rules up retrospectively after someone has manipulated your crap competition is extremely pathetic. Not that expected any better from you sandal wearing, ass grabbing, pencil pushing pullsmokers.
I thought Dprime madness would be the worst competition I'd ever see here.
Miraculously, for the first time in my life, I was wrong.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:13:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
1) I don't read rules
2) I don't FOLLOW rules
c) orgasmo is an asshole - I also don't like dictators
4) Shlongy was the big audience draw IN this contest
5) Who died and made orgasmo the "poetry czar"?
6) Poetry homos need to learn a sense of humor
7) Fuck me
8) fuck you
9) This contest will die a long, slow, sleep inducing death before it gets to the end
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:50:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:39:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
"O-man said the brackets are fixed. "
FIXED? So this has been a conspiracy...the entire time?
Well, I don't think bart will be very happy to learn that his forum is being used for unethical purposes...a fixed contest.
I think that I will request a banning from bart...unless I'm allowed to compete in which case, I'll forget I ever read that juicy tidbit of information.
You have 30 inutes to reinstate Shlongy back into this contest - at that time, my hand will be forced.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Shlongy, I wasn't aware of this either, but there it is, clearly stated above in the rules:
"The bracket is designed such that it looks like winners will filter down to meet up with the winner of the match below them. This is not the case. Each round will have pairings drawn at random, and I'll update the bracket accordingly."
In short, I guess each of us had the opportunity to contest this rule prior to submitting entries, and ignorance doesn't count after the fact. So unfortunately I guess this means I may NOT get to face off with you or nitty.
Que sera, sera.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:34:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 05:23:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:10:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm. Yes, look below.
===
Are you trying to be a smartass here? Just wondering.
If not, good luck!
If you are, well, just go ahead and eat some glass shards.
===
Easy there, killer. I wasn't, but I'll still eat glass shards, just to prove a point.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Axolotl: Big Butt Buck Butt Fuck Duck - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85402 (NSFW)
Circe: Sepia - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85350
simple_catalyst: Echelon Your Dreams - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85536
ghola: Why? - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85532
nitty: Nitty takes on Shlongy - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85572
Shlongy: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85571 - DQ
CaptainThorns: Maculation - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85303
Sphagnum: Poetry is Really NOT My Thing - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85561
goferforhire: Headlights - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85280
MyTeeOne: The Riddle - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85423
Sacrilicious: About a Boy - http://www2.ubersite.com/m/85538
badassmofo: DNP
ColeslawMurphy: The Mail Order Soul-Mate - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85588
Brdn_Nkd: Woman at the Window - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85353
Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar: The Sun's Lullaby - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85278
Bubba2341: Unrequited - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85383
inion_de_trua: Things Done - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85476
Doodles: DNP
rad1101: DNP
HighVoltage900: Coat Hanger Lovin' - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85514
Orgasmatron: The Apologist - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85585
Susie_Derkins: The Spinster - http://ubersite.com/m/85356
ampersand: DNP
ess-arr: Watch out for ess-arr, he just raised the bar - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85349
JMG114: A Girl I Knew - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85407
ripple: Untitled - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85314
Stagger_Lee: She Moves - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85281
wardy: Sweet baby beer drinking, lady bull riding... - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85555
scourge: DNP
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Round 1 loser with the highest rating will advance to Round 2 and take the place of the winner of the Doodles/rad1101 pairing.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:48:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That's ok. I got you 2 tickets to Guys and Dolls!
I'm gonna go with ya!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:39:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"O-man said the brackets are fixed. "
FIXED? So this has been a conspiracy...the entire time?
Well, I don't think bart will be very happy to learn that his forum is being used for unethical purposes...a fixed contest.
I think that I will request a banning from bart...unless I'm allowed to compete in which case, I'll forget I ever read that juicy tidbit of information.
You have 30 inutes to reinstate Shlongy back into this contest - at that time, my hand will be forced.
I will then email jgreening and have him rat you out to bart - he lives for that kind of thing - and we'll let the chips fall where they may.
Although, if they fall anywhere near Colorado, jgreening will have them eaten before they hit the floor.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:32:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait a second...you made SHLONGY post something penned by Bette Midler???
I thought YOU wrote this. Or "we" wrote this. Or something.
I've been bamboozled.
I'm appalled.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, I just copied mine from 'The Collected Works of Bette Midler"
The song is called 'Penoz'
It's a b-side track.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:58:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nitty, by all accounts, actually wrote something.
I debated disqulifying him outright, or letting his work stand on its own.
I figured I'd let him stay because he made an effort, regardless of the nonsense surrounding it.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:53:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You guys...O-man said the brackets are fixed. They are just a visual to show how things will progress.
Every round the pairings will be drawn randomly. They have NOTHING to do with the brackets.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:51:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I really, honestly, don't care who I compete with in round 2. I just wondered why O arbitrarily DQed only one of you for the same violation. Whatever happens, happens. And be prepared to eat my meter.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:48:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OK- Here's my final compromise or I'll have to shut down the entire contest.
I'll step in - because I'm above all of the bickering and monkey business - and I'll take over a spot where someone forfeited - and we'll just all forget that you've been acting like whiny poetry writers. Then, I'll continue to plow my way through to the finals.
This is my final offer.
(I said "final" three times in 60 words or less)
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:43:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit. For the first time I just looked past the 1st round.
NOW I know why you asked that, Thorny.
Don't be upset. I remember the first time I was scared.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Because a poetry contest - without Nitty, is like a foot - without a big toe.
Orgasmatron won't always be here to be our 'big toe'
I'm gonna go out on a limb here. I hereby offer my leadership to this contest.
And let's all give a big hand to our newest, bestest friend - and big toe - Orgasmatron.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:30:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is nitty not also DQed then, if Shlongy is? I thought they were BOTH guilty of the alleged offense.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:20:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Let's be real, Shlongy - it's better that it turned out this way, right?
You were looking for controversey and you got it.
Your act would have become tired if it was repeated.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 07:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
See...you had people who didn't or wouldn't play...and you had Shlongy who DID play, albeit in his own unique, comical and controversial manner.
And you had the nerve to DQ him.
Fucking asshole.
PS. Poetry is gay. You are gaying up UberSite.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-03-21 05:34:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I HAD NO IDEA I WAS IN THIS
sorry dude.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 05:23:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:10:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm. Yes, look below.
===
Are you trying to be a smartass here? Just wondering.
If not, good luck!
If you are, well, just go ahead and eat some glass shards.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-21 01:25:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so i guess ets kinda fucked me in that respect then, huh? perfect 2 rating without his emo ass. oh noes...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:30:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Forfeits: badassmofo, scourge, ampersand, Doodles, rad1101
DQ: Shlongy
I drew from the four opponents who were left w/o competitors - Sacrilicious, wardy, Susie_Derkins, and nitty - to determine ColeslawMurphy's Round 1 opponent.
That lucky user iiiiiiiiiiiis: Sacrilicious.
Since both Doodles and rad1101 forfeited, the loser w/ the highest rating will advance in their stead to ensure that an even # of competitors advance to Round 2.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:15:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
scourge- I'm sorry you couldn't post. I'd be honored if you let me read it sometime, though. I know it means a lot to you.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:10:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I detest the idea of winning by default due to a forfeiture.
BADASSMOFO, I DEMAND YOU SHOW YOURSELF, SIR.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:10:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm. Yes, look below.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:09:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
With midnight come and gone, here's how we'll proceed:
Shlongy - admitting the post he wrote was not his own - is DQd.
I will place the names of the users whose competitors failed to submit a post in a hat and draw one at random for ColeslawMurphy to be paired with.
Voting will end 11:59PM Wed., 3/22.
Round 2 matchups posted 3/23.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:06:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ummmm
Look directly below your review maybe?
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-20 23:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
In case someone forfeited (I hadn't tracked this whole thread):
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85588
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 23:05:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My concession speech:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1142866052414119228#1892995
I just couldn't get it done. Alos I scrolled down and saw that the deadline said EST. Not that the extra hour would have made much difference. I'd rather forfeit then post crap.
I'll post it later.
Or maybe I'll just email it to Sacrilicious.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:43:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, everyone who can write decent poetry is a fag? Jump on it,
Shlongy.
O-man, are they DQed, or what?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:15:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
See...That's where I disagree, Thorny.
I don't think it's orgasMO's contest at all.
It's the 64 participants' contest..he's just running it for US.
He has no business making an arbitrary DQ on anyone, much less us.
He should let us have our battle - as silly (and hilarious) as our little scheme is, just like the rest of the head-to-head battles...and the winner - however the fuck that's judged (I never bothered to check that part out) moves on to the second round.
If we suck - our weaknesses will be exposed soon enough in a matchup against some poetry writing fag in a later round.
SEE???
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:08:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:17:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
Thorns wants a free ride because he knows that either one of us would destroy him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
No I don't. I'll take either of you on gladly, and to the victor goes MistressFist's cupcake.
I just think that a blatant violation of the rules calls for DQs. But Orjizzmo makes the final call, since it's his contest.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:00:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm trying it right now sir!
Why do you assume that I take this personally? Really? Is it just because you can laugh harder that way? I just like the bickering.
Oh well.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:18:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Pay close attention...Here's free tip number 1:
"Learn to laugh at yourself."
THAT should be easy.
You'll pop fewer blood vessels in your wideass noggin that way.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Whatever you say Shlongy!
I only hope to learn from you, and aspire to one day be half the man you are. Please continue to show me the way.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:12:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It's good to throw up the white flag when thoroughly defeated.
You may be smarter than I think.
You sure are wider than I thought.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:02:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Shlong! You always do just get me don't you? Nonstop, you are, every comment hits its mark dead center.
How could I have won against such keen wit? I'll never even try again.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:51:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
scourge - just submit your bank statements and post it under "comedy".
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:33:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it's all good dude. the deadline doesn't mean shit to me. it's also cool if you can't get it done, i understand the shit goes down sometimes and the world needs to get saved and the garbage taken out before you can do the things you enjoy. that's why i kill people -- keeps distractions to a minimum.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:30:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know wardy.
I had an idea and a rough sketch. I'm having trouble with my computer connection at the hotel I'm staying at. My first rough draft was saved on my companies server. I had to remotely access to work on it. I went and was working on it this afternoon and lost my wireless connection. When I went back the changes weren't there.
I have the rough saved on my laptop hard drive now, but I won't post it the way it is. I don't want to forfeit, but it may happen.
This makes me feel rather shitty actually.
IF I DO get it done and post it, it will likely be late, late tonight.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:19:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The reviews here were comedic gold for all the wrong reasons.
Thank you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:19:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
As long as he grovels- a LOT - he's welcome. I'm a fucking great host. And the garage fridge is always full of food...Omaha Steak and Bubba burgers, not to mention lots of beer. And soda for the pansyasses.
I don't REALLY hate everybody.
A lot of people....SURE - but not everyone.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:17:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
so scourge, are you not submitting anything?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:16:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:14:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
ghola- All I need is a little warning and you're more than welcome to swing by. Everyone is welcome.
I mean, nitty did and I sure the fuck didn't invite HIM!
And he can attest that my bar may have more liquor on hand than many small taverns do, although he didn't partake - he was driving.
----
simple catalyst and i now have plans to visit you in the near future.
you don't still hate him for the whole -2'ing all your posts thing do you?
heh.
we'll bring you the corpse of an undead bunny as offering.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:14:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:07:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, at least I finally agree with scoureg.
Of COURSE, I "won".
I'm Shlongy!
---
Congratulations big guy!!!
I had faith that you'd win the day all along. I don't know what I was thinking to even try.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:14:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ghola- All I need is a little warning and you're more than welcome to swing by. Everyone is welcome.
I mean, nitty did and I sure the fuck didn't invite HIM!
And he can attest that my bar may have more liquor on hand than many small taverns do, although he didn't partake - he was driving.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:09:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"I'm gonna send you a nice fruit basket. "
Is that Ghostbusters???
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:08:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:34:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
BUT - the idea was TOTALLY Shlongy's. It was a well hatched plan that began over email and culminated while drinking beer in his front yard Thursday night.
-------
I want to drink beer in shlongy's front yard.
Every time I'm in that area I think.... that could be shlongy's house. He's got money. Maybe he could feed us.
Then I remember.
Yeah.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Well, at least I finally agree with scoureg.
Of COURSE, I "won".
I'm Shlongy!
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:02:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This comment, on Method's Ubercon AC post, is the greatest thing your bent mind has ever conjured.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-16 22:59:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Caul and I would walk the runway, posturing like fags
I'd win 'cause we know his nature...up with the white flag
I'm gonna send you a nice fruit basket.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I called you sacrilicious. You weren't home.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:59:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Coleslaw, did you take my advice from the last post and cook something up in case anyone forfeited?
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:49:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:52:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
That's what I say...Just let the ratings fall where they may and teh winner is that person who moves on.
That's fair...and that's actually the beauty of our posts. A simple rating let's the reader's determine who gets to proceed.
But for some reason, OrgasmoHitler is too blind, or just too stupid, selfish and power-hungry, to see it.
Our "bracket" is in actuality, the FAIREST of ALL the brackets
----------------------------
whoa whoa whoa... shlongy, your comments of orgasmo and your declaration of being the "FAIREST" are borderline ets. you'd better watch yourself or i'm going to dive bomb your house with hang gliders for the next week.
orgasmo, i was just fucking around. shlongy is too, i'm sure. right shlongy? yeah, that's right, see? do whatever you want. what're they going to do? let's all go have some beer and pretzels.
hooray for love.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:35:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:31:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:22:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
As much as all this drama makes me hot in the panties and all, it'd be swell if y'all could limit the hate to the issue at hand, which is the competition. Please direct all non-FUPA related complaints here:
http://www2.ubersite.com/m/82824
===
No need. He won the fight.
=========
Not by my tally, but whatever you say, scourge.
(p.s.- Your good sportsmanship has earned you a sacrilicious prize. Call me to claim it.)
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:34:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:33:13 (#)
Ranking: -2
Nitty wrote it all. But I refuse to be disqualified, eliminated, ignore or insulted.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Confirmed.
Yes, I did write the whole thing.
BUT - the idea was TOTALLY Shlongy's. It was a well hatched plan that began over email and culminated while drinking beer in his front yard Thursday night.
I feel the idea is worth at least 50% of the accolades.
nit
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:31:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:22:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
As much as all this drama makes me hot in the panties and all, it'd be swell if y'all could limit the hate to the issue at hand, which is the competition. Please direct all non-FUPA related complaints here:
http://www2.ubersite.com/m/82824
===
No need. He won the fight.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:30:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
jesus christ
'How I argue with people and get upset when someone picks on me?'
I don't get upset moron. I just find the grade school level insults you, a man in his 40s, throw around to be fucking incredibly stupid. If I needed to fight on that level I'd go start one with the neighbor kid. He's nine.
I truly do wash my hands of this now. You win BIG GUY.
Here's my concesion speech:
Yep, you got me pegged Shlong. In a nutshell man.
IN. A. NUTSHELL.
I tried so hard here to win approval...your opinion means so much to me. I'm wringing my hands together in dismay as I type this. Not sure how I'm accomplishing that, but I am.
I think I need some more devastation to get the idea through my head. All the fat you know?
Maybe you can make ridiculous comparisons to Bruce Villanch or call me ETS again? Those oh so great insults, great because they held so much truth, really put me in my internet place.
Oh wait, I know tell me I'm gay. That one always makes me cry.
Know what, nevermind. It won't be necessary. You've completely outmanned me on the internet already. You win man. You win.
Now puff up that little rooster chest of yours and crow big boy! Just let it out. You're an internet winner!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:22:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As much as all this drama makes me hot in the panties and all, it'd be swell if y'all could limit the hate to the issue at hand, which is the competition. Please direct all non-FUPA related complaints here:
http://www2.ubersite.com/m/82824
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
scourge- Just keep trying, son. You're succeeding. I'm starting to believe, through your constant whining, pleading, crying, convincing, cajoling, etc...that you really are cool.
I wish I was you!
I like how you argue with people and get upset when someone picks on you.
I bet you get red in the face sitting at your desk.
Then, you blow a little puft of bad air through your chubby ass cheeks and send everyone around your cubicle scattering like the cockroaches under your fridge when you turn on the light getting your nightly midnight snack.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:04:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why does everyone feel they need to make this as difficult as possible?
Schlongy, if you refuse to be disqualified, fine. Post whatever you want, your own work or someone else's. A collaboration or not.
Ogasmo, this is your competition, you make the rules whether people like/accept it or not. In the end you decide who moves on and who has won.
Everyone post whatever they want and people will react to it in their own way. So Schlongy you can keep posting and doing whatever you want and if in the end you believe you've won, then go right ahead and believe that. Orgasmo may not believe that and say someone else won, but that's not gonna change your mind, is it?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:55:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's the most fair because you posted someone else's work and now you want to be judged on it?
If, of course, you're being honest about that.
If you're interested in a popularity contest then put together something of your own.
Maybe everyone can submit blank posts and duke it out with hits and ratings, or maybe copy and paste someone else's post and go from there.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:53:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Show me a picure where I'm fat Shlongy. I have maybe eight/nine pounds I could lose, that's true. So do you, you admitted it in comments once. Hell, on that little flame me post of Methods you even made a disparaging remark about your own physical state. That flame post where you and Caul jumped at a chance to add meaning to your life by fucking with someone for absolutely no reason, you remember it..
Send Bank statements to you? Right, I'll get right on that. That would certainly be a wise thing for me to do. How about leaving your home address here so I can be sure it gets to the right place. That would make about as much sense
The same arguments you make about proof could be said about what you claim here Shlongy. I'm guessing you're bright enough to know that.
Prove that you're rolling in the dough. Prove to me that you worked in television for 7 years (how exciting for you. I care an awful lot). You can't do it by writing it here. Nothing written here counts as proof. It doesn't fucking mean much one way or the other either.
So we have something in common. People don't internet believe us. Huh.
I guess you and I are just about even up aren't we?
But you're still an internet troll who gets off on trying to piss people off; you've said how much happiness it brings you. That, my dear diminutive little bitch, makes you a fucking loser.
I guess I win.
I'm all done with this now.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:52:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That's what I say...Just let the ratings fall where they may and teh winner is that person who moves on.
That's fair...and that's actually the beauty of our posts. A simple rating let's the reader's determine who gets to proceed.
But for some reason, OrgasmoHitler is too blind, or just too stupid, selfish and power-hungry, to see it.
Our "bracket" is in actuality, the FAIREST of ALL the brackets.
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:50:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We need to have a song contest. Here's my entry http://www.ubersite.com/m/85533
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you want confirmation, oragsmo? YOU WANT CONFIRMATION?!!??!!? i'll give you confirmation, you goddamned power hungry cock monger. i fucking hate you and everything about you, your silly name and your silly face.
yeah, i know i've never seen a damn picture of you. i've also never madeline albright's pussy but i know it exists and i know it ain't pretty, either. you make the connection, cunty mcgee.
i'm just kidding, nothing but love all on this end of the monitor. might i suggest something regarding the shlongy/nitty debacle? perhaps whoever has the highest rating at the end of the voting wins it? i mean, make it in to a popularity contest? i know i hate losing those, especially on the internet, which woe is me, happens all the damned time.
your partner in poetic justice,
wardy the purse-snatcher.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:41:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nitty, confirm this please. Quickly.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:33:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Nitty wrote it all. But I refuse to be disqualified, eliminated, ignore or insulted.
OK, you can insult me if you want.
I will continue to submit my classic prose until I am CHAMPION NERD POETRY GEEK of UBERSITE and King of the world.
PS. scourge, I guess, and I know this from working in television for 7 years, I guess what they say is true - that the camera adds a few/30 lbs, eh?
You try too hard, Slim. If you really want to impress me, send me copies of your bank statements and an accounting of your net worth.
Because nothing else you threw out there did a fucking thing for me, Albert.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:22:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But, then I thought:
One of them should just lie and say they wrote the whole thing, get the other one to go along with it and forfeit, then...
I could be inserted into the forfeited spot, submit not even my best effort, and beat them easily to advance to the next round.
MUHAHAHAHA. Er, wait, did I just give away my plan?
Damnit!
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:18:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to suggest that, actually, based on nitty's admission of how it was written.
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Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:10:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's all a matter of individual effort.
Did you, and you alone, write your post?
Did nitty, and nitty alone, write his?
No.
If you both want the disqualifications suspended then the both of you need to resubmit immediately, posting only the lines that you wrote. If it really went nitty/Shlongy/nitty/Shlongy, line by line, then you'll both have a broken, half-poem for the audience to read.
They won't make much sense, but at least you'd each have your own work.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oops. I answered the usual Shlongy gloatiing question trifecta.
Left out good looking and substituted money. Oh well.
As for good looking.... Beauty is in the eye and whatnot, right, you bastard child of Robert Englund and Woody Harrelson?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:08:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, you make me cry with laughter. A more pathetic old sack of shit I've never run across in all my life.
I'll take the bait, here are your answers:
1. Money- I make enough that when my son was born my wife was able to take off work for as long as she chooses. I sock a third of what I earn away into various investments still, while supporting three people on my salary. I own my home free and clear. Paid off. I'm 28. How about you Englund?
2. Broads, as you so eloquently refer to them- One. My wife. That's all I need.
3. As for being in shape?- 'let's just say that maybe, someday, we'll be at the same "ubercon".'
How's that do you, you fucking moron?
I think Shlongy has jumped the fucking shark. Pathetic, tantrum throwing bitch.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:00:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
scourge- remind me how good looking, how many broads you pull, and what kind of excellent shape you're in, again.
I forgot. And after looking at your picture, I need your "verbal" reassurance of all of those things.
Dipshit. Crawl back up High Voltages ass for a couple of hundred reviews.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:57:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:45:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't that the point behind a "contest"- the silly internet variety or not? Isn't the principle supposed to be fairness, even if the end result is some decent writing?
How is a grown man threatening someone over the internet with physical violence any "cooler"?
1) I never threatened anyone. I just inferred that it would suck, for some posters, if I was ever in the same general geographic location as they were. You never know what happens when "friends" get together for a cocktail or 12.
2) What's "unfair" about my post? Or nitty's? Explain to me how something is unfair.
We're matched up against EACH OTHER, you fucking imbeciles.
One of us wins, the other loses. What's so hard to understand about that?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:57:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:31:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Does High Voltage need a fucking tissue? Maybe you and ets - and your fucking boyfriend scourge, can get a room and tongue each others' asses.
I'll tell you what, you fucking crybaby.
If I'm disqualified, let's just say that maybe, someday, we'll be at the same "ubercon".
I'll leave it at that.
use your imagination.
====
Don't bring me into this you pint sized little rooster bitch of a man.
I'd snap your sorry ass over my knee like the fucking twig you are you fucking nitty-cum guzzling sack of ass.
Piss off. Really man.
Go into a fucking internet threat rampage over THIS and you bash ETS, or anyone else (particularly me) for that matter, and you want to talk about people being whiney bitches?
You little fucking shitsmear...
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:52:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:47:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Rocky. Is there anything he can't solve?
----
He never did solve that Rubiks cube....
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:49:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You're right, it is a silly internet contest.
However, it's still a competition - silly or otherwise - and as such there are rules.
You're above this. You know what the issue is here.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:48:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:41:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
The way that a person with ANY sense of coolness would respond would be to allow the critics to make their choice as to who moves on...and leave it at that.
Or, you can continue to act like a fucking baby.
Your call.
I always HATED that kid who would take his ball and go home in the middle of a game if everything didn't go his way.
I didn't have you pegged as that kid, orgasmo.
...but now that I know that you WERE that kid, I'd like to state for the record, that I used to beat that kid's ass about once a week for about 8 consecutive years back in the 60's and 70's.
----
First off, I'm sure a guy as old as you is the goto guy for what is 'coolness'.
Second off, I'm sure you work for that kid now.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:47:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:45:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't that the point behind a "contest"- the silly internet variety or not? Isn't the principle supposed to be fairness, even if the end result is some decent writing?
How is a grown man threatening someone over the internet with physical violence any "cooler"?
---
Competition is an American trait surely Shlongy/Nitty? Rising up, to the challenge, of your rival?
Rocky. Is there anything he can't solve?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:45:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Isn't that the point behind a "contest"- the silly internet variety or not? Isn't the principle supposed to be fairness, even if the end result is some decent writing?
How is a grown man threatening someone over the internet with physical violence any "cooler"?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:45:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Crybaby huh?
"Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:17:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
Let the fans speak out. "
I spoke.
You sucked.
End of story.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:41:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The way that a person with ANY sense of coolness would respond would be to allow the critics to make their choice as to who moves on...and leave it at that.
Or, you can continue to act like a fucking baby.
Your call.
I always HATED that kid who would take his ball and go home in the middle of a game if everything didn't go his way.
I didn't have you pegged as that kid, orgasmo.
...but now that I know that you WERE that kid, I'd like to state for the record, that I used to beat that kid's ass about once a week for about 8 consecutive years back in the 60's and 70's.
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