Midget tossing, barbaric sport or salute to history? (712 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RockDocc (View user info) at 2006-03-13 21:58:11 EST
To sit on my moral high horse, and decry lobster tossing as a barabric sport, is akin to me saying that midget tossing should be made illegal in switzerland.
I'll elaborate, in an SAT format:
Midgets are human, most humans want to fly; therefore most midgets who are human, want to fly.
In come midget tossing, that marvelous game that involves midgets, mattresses and zombies.
The object is of course to toss the midget over the zombies who are hungrily waiting to fill their craw with tasty midget flesh. The target, a group of mattresses (extra-springy) perched perilously close to a pit of crocodile-like poodles.
See, not barbaric at all. In fact, if one were to delve into the subject further, then the midget-tossers (drunk white males with a bone to pick to pick with children) are doing the midget-tossees (their child-like appearance yet adult maturity levels make them the perfect outlet for the above described people) a favour. Think about it, the zombies want a taste of midget. We all know, that of course, midget is a delicacy in Manhattan, where all zombies are from, and we all know how zombies get when they're hungry. They want some famouse midget in gravy. Honselty, who can blame them?
I digress.
You must understand, dear reader, that midget tossing is a sport derived from a centuries old life-saving practice. When the roving bands of zombies and cher lookalikes threatened the very existence of new zealanders. The maori, being the bright bunch that they are, were able to toss their children and midget-shamans over a river, thus saving their lives. Until they were eaten by the fast moving hordes of Crocodilus Caninus Poodilius. The ravenous crocodile-like poodle.
In honor of this sacred event, bars all over switzerland, and sometimes sweden, hold midget tossing contests.
See? Now that one knows the history of this grand sport, one can see how NOT barbaric midget tossing really is.
and the whole lobster thing?
Well, that's just fun.
User Reviews
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2006-03-14 04:45:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
KA MATE! KA MATE!
KA ORA, KA ORA!
KA MATE! KA MATE!
KA ORA, KA ORA!
TENEI TE TANGATA PU'RU-HURU
NA'A NEI TIKI MAI WHAKA-WHITI TE ...
... RA! HUPANE! KA-UPANE!
A HUPANE! KA-UPANE!
WHITI TE RA!
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-03-14 01:37:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I agree.
Now, let's all find a miget and commence with the celebration of Maori history.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-03-14 01:08:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not a negative for the pure genius that is midget tossing.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-03-14 00:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
but not your brain.
and that makes me happy in my special place
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-14 00:41:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
MAKE IT SO THAT THERE ARE EXTRA SPACES BETWEEN THE LINES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES IT HURTS MY EYES!
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-03-14 00:03:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
chameleons eh?
Sometimes I think about penguins, then koalas. I seem to stick mostly to warm-blooded creatures. Though the iguana does give me a rise.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-03-13 23:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Try thinking about chameleons. I like them.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-03-13 22:36:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it is something to think about
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-03-13 22:31:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You put too much thought into this.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-03-13 21:58:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ha! I didn't edit this, that's funny.
yet sad