A request to every junky of this world (866 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.2 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Malkavian (View user info) at 2006-03-14 19:53:53 EST
It's a very simple request : If you are a junky, addicted to any illegal kind of shit there is, please consider seriously the option of buying a cellphone.
You'll see, everything will be easier when you'll have a cell phone! When your pusher doesn't show up after waiting for him for an hour in a local crappy video store parking, you could simply call him with your cell phone, instead of borrowing the sadi video store phone every two minutes.
Don't you have enough of bugging the employee all the time? Don't you have enough of all those small surbubia bourgeois, the client of the said video store, looking at you as if you're some specifically digusting cockroach when you yell at the top of your lungs with every existing curses on your late pusher's answering machine?
Cell phones, it's not that expensive nowadays. In fact, there is a cell phone for every kind wallet. Why not try prepaid minutes cards? It's not very expensive, plus you won't use it very often if it is only for getting your hit. You won,t even remember you have a cell phone half the time.
And don't tell me you still don't have enough money, if you're able to buy yourself drugs regularly enough to get addicted to it so much that you absolutely have to borrow the video store's phone every two minutes, because you need it so much and every second is an agony and YOU REALLY HAVE TO HAVE IT NOW AAARGH , well you can buy yourself a cell phone.
A little money raising suggestion : During a complete day (yes, yes, 24 very long hours), don't take any drugs. I know, I know, it's hard, but it's worth it. Take the money you would have normally spent for the said drugs and buy yourself a cell phone. You will then be able to call your pusher anywhere, anytime! Just imagine all of destiny's doors opening! The sky is the limit!
Plus, the next day, when you'll get your hit, after such a long agony, your high will be a lot more intense, garanteed.
I have a dream : Every junky would have his own cell phone. It would be a day worth of creating yet another mass suicidal cult. Because not only will all those smelly litlle surburbia bourgeois in search of the latest Sandra Bullock new turd-on-tape will live in peace but I won't have to suffer your STUPID BADTRIP!!!
P.S. Another otption would be to get a new pusher, a more reliable one if possible. It's an awesome idea, I know, but buy yourself a new cell phone. Just in case the new one turns out to be worst. Plus, if you ever get the overdose you deserve, it's a very handy way of calling an ambulance.
User Reviews
Submitted by malkavian (user info) at 2006-03-15 11:59:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Woa guys, you just need to calm down ok? I know that most junky owns a cell hpone and blah blah blah, this is just something I wrote while I was pissed off at that particular junky who culdn't quit bugging me that day.
If you read the post not in that ADD way of yours, you'll see that it's not *really* about all the junkies of this world, but rellay just about that one.
It's all make-believe, folks. welcome to my dream-factory.
Ssheesh.
You guys are retarded. *storms out of the room*
Submitted by Good (user info) at 2006-03-15 09:46:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
whatever
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-03-15 07:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Sounds like something that might happen in Clerks. I laughed.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-03-15 07:11:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-15 06:12:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Most junkies have cell phones. O2 do a special Pay as you
Ok I'm going to put the lame joke down and step away, no need to get excited. Ok, ok, we cool? Tell her man! Tell her "Bitch, be cool!". Okay. Good.
Now I cannot give you the positive rating because it does not belong to me. Look in the bag, find my wallet. It's the one that says 'Paralysed Mother Fucker'. In there is a card. Read it.
Bertyism 16: 'Just because I failed College doesn't mean I didn't learn anything'
You can have that. It's yours. But I cannot give you the positive rating.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-03-15 01:04:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're an idiot.
Most serious junkies <see that?...DO have cell phones, because most of the phone services
do not allow in-coming calls on their pay phones anymore.
Just because an individual requires an expensive and illicit product on a daily basis
doesn't mean he, or she, lacks the funds to buy a phone since you can even activate a
stolen phone, with no monthly charges or sign up, if you've got $19.00 in your pocket.
You just buy a time card.
Did it ever occur to you that an individual, who requires such constant contact with their
dealer, would do everything in their power to make the exchange as easy as possible,
especially at such a low cost, since they're locked into the same behavior day after day
after day utill they get busted, get warehoused, or die?
I didn't think so the short answer is this was Shit!
Ignorant, Unoriginal, Unfunny and out-of-touch Idiot.
Submitted by malkavian (user info) at 2006-03-14 21:45:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah it happened to me when I was working in the crappy indy video store. I'm glad I'm outta there.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-03-14 21:25:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Try marketing this to Jessie Jackson.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-03-14 20:51:02 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Quit your job at the video store and start selling cell's to junks.
Who the fuck goes to video stores nowadays anyway? Ohh right, junks.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-03-14 20:21:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A beautiful dream.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-03-14 20:19:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nyeeehhhh...
a zero means "worth reading" and i guess this qualifies.
Coulda been better, but whatever. Whaaaatever.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-03-14 20:04:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, meant to +2.
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-03-14 20:04:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hilarious.
Does this happen to you?