FUPA - Sepia (1258 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: uber-related
Rating: 1.76 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe <fickle.muse.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-03-15 09:39:54 EST
Remember it through the sepia tinted filter of years
Remember it in smells and sounds, in a certain feeling,
In beach sand and Pink Floyd
In a tall man with long hair walking away
(Remember it under my nails)
Remember:
Wide eyed adoration
A child's infatuation
And naive veneration
And the way you touched my hand
(And the taste of your skin and sweat, and I miss you)
Remember pot smoke and Paul's garage
Your guitar, and my voice
straining to keep up
As it ever was
(and everything is fuzzy at the edges, and has a soundtrack, and I remember but maybe not correctly)
Your book, your songs,
and pictures
and the cliche of you
And how perfect you were
Black jeans and coffee
Handrolled cigarettes and
And everything
(I have to go, he said, I'm going. Leaving. We'll still be friends
Liar
We were never friends)
A sonata in cigarette smoke
A portrait in blues music
And the smell of paint
Down through the years
Untouched
Inviolate
Perfect
I remember you.
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 22:07:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by Doodles (user info) at 2006-12-09 12:19:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn it +2ing all of circe's posts is MY QUEST.
MINE.
FIND YOUR OWN.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-12-09 12:13:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, Circe rocked out with her...well, she just rocked out during FUPA.
Oh SUPA - you're only so many months away.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-12-09 12:06:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
beautiful...
Submitted by paulblakeford (user info) at 2006-03-24 16:53:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-03-22 18:15:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:28:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking beautiful.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-20 13:16:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sphagnum predicted an overall Circe victory before a ball had even been bowled in this tournament.
What a great way to start.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-17 11:24:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1.5
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-17 11:24:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i thought this was fairly fabulous
Submitted by Waxinmyeye (user info) at 2006-03-16 19:26:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
winner?
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-16 18:32:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i knew i respected you for some reason.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-16 14:21:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-16 12:33:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Needs more blow jobs.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-16 12:25:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2006-03-16 12:12:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Words escape me.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-16 03:12:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great great stuff.
*sigh*
Submitted by Can_Always_Trust_A_Liar (user info) at 2006-03-15 19:24:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked this a lot. It certainly seemed different from most of the FUPA stuff so far. It wasn't quite perfect though. I'm still waiting for something to just blow me away in this comp.
So far I think it's been cool, and this is certainly a great result, but I want something more people. And I'm not talking to any people in particular, I'd love for everyone to just post whatever. In the comp or out. Already submitted one? Do another.
C'mon people, let's try and make this a great competition and have a little spirit! Write, rate, review! Leave your own thoughts and comments. Be helpful and supportive. The only way we're gonna make this a great comp, expo, and generally fun experience is if we have the right attitude.
Now I'm just arbitarily posting all this on this piece, i haven't read any reviews on this yet, and doesn't really reflect this piece.
Anyway, great poem.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-15 14:25:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was cool.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-15 11:17:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the only thing I've read today that made me smile. I guess I had a comment after all.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-15 11:07:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-15 10:56:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This took me back to the eighth grade dance, slowly moving to the beat of "I Remember You" by Skid Row.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-03-15 10:44:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2006-03-15 10:34:55 (#)
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-03-15 09:45:56 (#)
The beach, in winter, is the loneliest place in the world. Nicely evoked.
--
Not on the Gulf, winter is the only time we get surfable waves, and the only time the locals come out to play. But I know what you mean.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I'm coming from a New York/New England perspective, so that bias is showing through...
this just reminded me of New Year's Day on Fire Island, 30 degrees and a 20 knot wind
off the ocean.
Submitted by DanielH (user info) at 2006-03-15 10:34:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Unsure what FUPA is, but evocative, like the smell of bonfires on unwashed clothes.
--
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-03-15 09:45:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
The beach, in winter, is the loneliest place in the world. Nicely evoked.
--
Not on the Gulf, winter is the only time we get surfable waves, and the only time the locals come out to play. But I know what you mean.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-15 10:31:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whooooopiteeeeeedooooo!!!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-15 10:30:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-15 10:11:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
beauty
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-03-15 10:02:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad. Any poetry or music usually gets a neative score, but this is ok. Its better if it has an underlying sexual theme, or is a Cat in the Hat parody.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-15 09:58:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I suppose I have to leave a comment here. I don't really want to though.
The better poetry I read doesn't really require any commentary on my part, and this certainly doesn't. It leaves me introspective, the feelings that the author tried to evoke should be racing through my mind, leading me to some personal thoughts and insight on the subject. Silent introspection is the best way I have to show appreciation for something like this.
Consider any and all of the words that followed the line that says "Submitted by scourge..." to be obligatory in nature and of no consequence.
Thank you.
Carry on.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-15 09:48:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've not gotten around to rating any entries so far. I have to make an exception for this.
The ideas remind me of the relationship I've considered writing mine about. I wouldn't be able to touch this, though.
This is really good, Circe.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-03-15 09:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The beach, in winter, is the loneliest place in the world. Nicely evoked.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-15 09:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know what I hate, and I don't hate this.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-15 09:43:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(and everything is fuzzy at the edges, and has a soundtrack, and I remember but maybe not correctly)
----------------
This line clinched for me. +2.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-03-15 09:42:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i loved the two different commentaries in this. i dont know, thats a bad way of expressing it. but it was really good. the best ive read in this competition so far.