Road tax can kiss my ass... a letter to the DVLA (1390 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.94 on 32 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Paul Hibbert (View user info) at 2006-03-16 07:27:40 EST
For our American readers, the below is a letter I have written after an exasperating debacle with The British driving agency who tax our roads following a fine I recieved for 40 pounds.
Clive Bennett.
Chief Executive.
DVLA.
SWANSEA.
SA6 7JL
16/03/06
Dear Mr. Puppet,
I hope that I have cost you at least £40 worth of administration throughout this fiasco.
You are by far the most tight-fisted, morally corrupt company since British Telecom. I pray now on a nightly basis that following this letter I never have to correspond with you by phone or letter ever again.
Please accept this epistle as a token of my absolute disgust and contempt for the DVLA and feel free to forward it to every member of staff working for you; they should all be ashamed of themselves for having taken up their post in the first place.
I do not accept that it is in the best interests of the public to withhold what the DVLA does and does not consider exceptional circumstances. I consider it a nice little loop-hole for you to exploit as and when you see fit and I wonder about the legality of withholding such information in the first place.
I find your view of the £80 fine being reduced to £40 if paid within the specified time laughable. You know full well that it is the other way round, and you also know full well that is a bullying tactic you use to reduce the amount of Paul Hibbert's that reach your desk.
Your response times are a joke. Your claim that I have had adequate response times from your underlings when I had almost forgotten I'd written to you before finally receiving your response is a joke. The fact I googled your name to find your address again and found a letter from another one of your "customers" complaining about response times had me in stitches.
I am bowing to the pressure and paying you your £40; don't spend it all at once. I'm also writing to my MP in the hope that I can waste some more of your time with this nominal and debateable crime.
Finally, please stop referring to the general public as customers. If the British public had a choice who robbed them of their hard earned money so that our crooked pot hole filled roads could remain crooked and pot holed I'm pretty damned sure they would all take their "custom" elsewhere.
You are a filthy disgusting government organisation and don't you forget it.
This letter and its accompanying cheque have been sent by recorded delivery so please don't "lose" the letter because I will not be paying £80.
If the DVLA and Justice were people, the DVLA would force Justice against a hot radiator and rape him.
Regards,
Paul Hibbert.
User Reviews
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2008-08-13 17:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You were right, I do love it
Submitted by haikumikoo (user info) at 2008-08-13 15:22:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty great.
Submitted by Judgement (user info) at 2008-08-13 11:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2008-08-13 09:27:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-13 09:15:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-13 08:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha!
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Bows, thankyou thankyou :)
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-08-13 08:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha!
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-06 07:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because I hate car tax too
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2006-03-17 11:55:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll wait till you've finished sucking him off.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-03-17 11:35:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shurrup.
And go help that old man carry his shopping to his car.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2006-03-17 11:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This has been the most irritating correspondance I have ever had.
The original letters were quite biting but I was hoping to get my money back. I've given up on the cunts now so I'm getting abusive.
Anybody have any idea on the legality of me sending the 40 pounds as a massive card board box of 1p's? or some kind of foreign currency? Anything to get my own back.
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-03-16 16:38:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great stuff!
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-03-16 15:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-03-16 15:18:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck. A Pock sighting.
-Dave
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-03-16 15:03:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a filthy disgusting government organisation and don't you forget it.
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HE SHOOTS HE SCORES!
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-03-16 11:54:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This makes me want to write a strongly worded letter.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-16 11:50:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I swear I already rated this.
I hope there's not some random shitpost floating around with my previous review on it....
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-03-16 11:50:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pure awesome
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-16 11:37:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay it was that last line that made me crack up laughing. The whole thing was funny, but that made me burst out with laughter.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-16 11:11:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Outstanding letter.
I, too, never let anyone get away with anything without writing a letter or making a phone call to bitch about it.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-03-16 11:09:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the sheer ire amuses me
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-03-16 11:01:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oops.
Sorry kid.
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-03-16 10:57:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-16 10:48:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
That last line did it for me.
Why I don't drive.
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I know, it's bloody hilarious.
"Paul Hibbert"
Mwahahahahahaha!
What were his parents thinking?
Other than adoption, obviously.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-16 10:48:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That last line did it for me.
Why I don't drive.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-03-16 08:46:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
oh pock, pockly, pockly, pock.
I have told you on numerous occassions that those clown cars with thirty people in are, whilst mildly amusing, illegal to operate on a public highway.
Of course it's okay for you and your dwarf mates to giggle around the local B&Q car park but as soon as you go on the A1 to the Ice Rink you are asking for a fine.
40 quid is a lot for you though, are they deducting it from your benefits?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-03-16 08:32:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pock won't be able to reply at the moment as he's back at work counting masonry bits at B&Q.
However I'm sure he'll stop off at the library on his way home to answer your questions.
Until then, I'll field all enquiries.
He got a parking ticket for stopping on double yellows in Derby city centre whilst he popped into Jahmals newsagents for his bi-monthly "Domestic Animal Fornicators" magazine.
He would have set up a subscription to save embarrassment, but as this post makes painfully obvious, he's practically illiterate.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-16 08:13:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What did you do?
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-03-16 08:09:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Stop pissing about and get on with your work.
They're running out of floral wallpaper on aisle two and that BBQ display isn't going to assemble itself.
Submitted by Jai (user info) at 2006-03-16 08:07:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for sticking it to the DVLA, from a fellow Brit who understands.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-03-16 07:56:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aaaand he's back!
And angry too.
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-03-16 07:51:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What'd you do to get the fine?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-16 07:30:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hear you.
However, I do not think the road tax is an unjust tax. The DVLA are a bunch of shitters who deserve to be trapped in a garage with the smokiest car in the world until they asphixiate.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-03-16 07:30:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awright Pock? How's Tricks?