The Shamrock Open - Fin (951 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: Shamrock_Open_2006
Rating: 1.38 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (View user info) at 2006-03-17 11:58:37 EST
Happy St. Patrick's Day! The Shamrock Open draws to a close today and only one of the twenty that started emerges the victor. In my opinion this competition has brought out some great writing, if you want some good St. Patty's day reading follow any one of the links below.
Round 1
The Glass Shillelagh
HighVoltage900 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84336
MickGinny - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84396
Slainte!
wardy - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84406
Jacobt26 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84384
What's Beneath The Kilt
Orgasmatron - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84420
The_taste_of_Monkeys - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84366
Boondock Saints
Brdn_Nkd - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84411
Chroniclysm - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84391
Chasing The Snake
Circe - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84409
Doberish - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84426
They're Magically Delicious
inion_de_trua - FORFIET
CaptainThorns - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84370
A shot of Rock and Rye will clear that cough right up
simple_catalyst - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84398
Crystle - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84441
The Ides of March
Ghola - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84394
MyNameIsTim - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84408
Good Gracious Good Guinness
Ripple - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84436
badassmofo - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84440
The Luck of the Irish
PokeyPecker - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84372
scourge - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84413
One time....in Ireland....(Think "One time...at bandcamp....")
HighVoltage900 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84696
wardy - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84710
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Round 2
Fuck me I'm Irish
Orgasmatron - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84746
Brdn_nkd - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84708
The Banshee to Dublintown Came
Circe - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84685
CaptainThorns - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84607
The Blarney Stone
Crystle - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84748
ghola - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84693
Where's Me Lucky Charms?
badassmofo - FORFIET
scourge - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84738
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Round 3
You'll Never Get Me Pot O' Gold
HighVoltage900 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84971
CaptainThorns - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85027
Stroke Me Clover
Orgasmatron - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85066
Circe - http://www.ubersite.com/m/84952
Leperchauns tell me to hurt people
Crystle - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85005
scourge - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85052
_____________________________________________________________________________
Final
Darby O'Gill and the Revenge of the Little People
Circe tells us how the man who soiled the leprechauns reputation was able to redeem himself by creating a reality game show for the leprechauns to showcase their true nature.
Circe - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85300
HighVoltage900 shows the true nature of the pot of gold in his story of a leprechaun using a man's cherished bits of life to pay the debts he incurs when he loses a wager.
HighVoltage900 : http://www.ubersite.com/m/85295
Scourge wins with a near perfect record during the competition. Leprechauns are like zombies? They sleep in the ground and eat human flesh? Betray the land or the people and you will join them, become one of them.
Scourge - http://www.ubersite.com/m/85391
Congratulations Scourge on winning the fist Shamrock Open. You've won a great big pile of NOTHING and the bragging rights associated with winning an internet writing competition.
Seriously though, Congratulations scourge and thanks all who participated. This was a great competition because of you.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-02-27 05:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i shouldn't have won this.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-18 23:50:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I won.
Fuck off Uber.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 18:56:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry man I was talking about the bye. I thought it was interesting.
My bad.
*snickers to self that he made Brdn panic*
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2006-03-17 18:48:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 18:11:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, that's right she got the bye as the highest rated round two loser. damnit HV I was very careful and you had me all worried. that is intersting that she did lose to him then came back.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 18:10:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know how that's possible. I will have to look at my notes on monday to see if I noted the conclusion. I double checked all that shit. Thorns, if I made a mistake I appologize.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-03-17 17:51:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOOOHOOOOO!!!
I lost, but only to the winner!!
congrats, Scourge. And thanks for putting this together, Brdn!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:51:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And the everyone faltered and failed before me. 'Twas truly glorious
HV I answered your question on my post.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just noticed something.
Circe actually lost to Captain Thorns...but then went on to beat the (arguably) first seeded contender.
Crazy...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:41:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks ghola.
A b-cup will serve admirably Brdn. Thank you for the consideration towards my pocket needs.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:21:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
rock on scourge
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:52:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha!!!
Actually if you saw me you wouldn't think that. But I love Brave Sir Robin.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:50:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
that'll cost extra for sure. I was thinking you needed something a little midevil like. Every time I see your picture I picture Brave Sir Robin for the Search for the Holy Grail.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:40:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I always thought I looked good in Argentinian.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:30:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
regardless of race I can get you short and curly. You want small pockets? I was goona look for some b-c sized boobs for that.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:27:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
From what race of people is the hair? I prefer the hair of African Americans. The curls just do something to the look of the coat. Are you going to make the pockets out of hollowed out scrotums? That would be awesome.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:23:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh I know. It was great meeting them and I look forward to July when I can meet some more. The flack we've gotten this week was my fault but I would say it was worth it because it was a great trip.
HV, did you see I'm making gifts for my "no longer imaginary friends":
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-15 11:30:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Schlong, this is more than just a moathong now. These people are now special friends of mine. They might not know yet but when they start getting the special clothes I made for each of them, based on measurements taken while asleep, I know they'll recognize how important they are to me. I've already started harvesting for the suit I will make MyTee, the trick is finding enough people with the same skin tone so it matches. Hilarity will recieve some special underclothes, and scourge will get getting coats for him and his family. Scourge, do you want the hair to line the collar or should I remove it for you?
If there's something you and Circe would like me to make let me know, kind of a runner up gift. Scourge you never did let me know if you wanted the collar fur, i mean hair lined or not.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HV - it's ok, I know you're busy this week, no emo tears here. I would try to outdo you in depravity, but I'm trying to maintain my ladylike cover on this site....AHAHAHAHA I couldn't type that with a straight face.
Brdn - I'm glad to hear you weren't violated in your sleep. We're all very different people when we can hide and be anonymous behind our monitors.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:12:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Susie alot on this sight scares me. You meet these people in person and they seem so nice and normal then you find out they like small children, dead virgins, and just about any other deviant thing you can think of. I swear when I was sleeping in chicago I had one hand over my mouth and nostrils and one hand over my corn hole for fear I'd be violated in my sleep.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:10:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the fuck is AshK when I need her?
She is the one who always tries to out do me in deprived conversation.
Susie- I am trying to send you an email but am super busy. I will try and shoot you one tonight if I can.
Don't fear me, I'm just the messanger who molests little children as they take their afternoon naps and then wake up complaining that they taste something funny in the back of their throats.
....(/Ejaculates)
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:57:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:52:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Because four year olds give CRAPPY head.
-----
Not if they're asleep.
---------------------
Hahaha you scare me sometimes
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:02:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This has gone to an awful, awful place.
I like it.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:57:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:52:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Because four year olds give CRAPPY head.
-----
Not if they're asleep.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:48:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
We're out of beer.
that would be an awful thing.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:52:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because four year olds give CRAPPY head. They don't understand the "no teeth, no teeth, aaahhh god blood" thing.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:52:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Scourge - good point. I'll bring the beer. I'm afraid I don't have any virgins for you though.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:51:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Circe why would that bother him?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:50:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:45:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
GOD DAMN IT.
Live human virgins, no penii, vaginas only, no uglies, no dwarves, one smallish fatty for variety.
__________
Looks like I'll be paying another visit to kindergarten.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:48:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
We're out of beer.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:48:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The line "You didn't say they had to be alive" comes from something I said to a young cousin.
When I was 15 my 7 year old cousin Carolyn was talking to me about Christmas gifts that she wanted. One of which being a pony.
To which I replied:
"You didn't say the pony had to be alive."
Heehee... I still chuckle at the memory of her face.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:45:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
GOD DAMN IT.
Live human virgins, no penii, vaginas only, no uglies, no dwarves, one smallish fatty for variety.
And a cold beer.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He didn't say they had to be human. I think There might be some virgin llama's available at the unniversity here.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:40:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:38:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:13:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:12:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I demand more virgins. Virgins with vaginas this time. No penii.
I DEMAND IT AND MY DEMAND ARE TO BE MET.
----
You didn't say they had to be alive.
=====
??
DAMN IT ALL TO HELL.
Live virgins with vaginas, no penii, no uglies.
------
You are so picky....
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:39:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I demand that you decree that my new title is Grand Poobah. Do it now BITCH!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:38:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:13:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:12:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I demand more virgins. Virgins with vaginas this time. No penii.
I DEMAND IT AND MY DEMAND ARE TO BE MET.
----
You didn't say they had to be alive.
=====
??
DAMN IT ALL TO HELL.
Live virgins with vaginas, no penii, no uglies. Maybe one fatty just for variety.
Susie- Why not?
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:32:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Congrats all. Scourge, you really want your name amid a noxious green fart?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:27:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, I actually did revise it that way then changed it back.
YOU GO TO FAR FUCKER! You were granted full bragging rights but as Grand Poobah and organizer I can rescind those rights. You do not have permision to dismiss the other 30 posts in this competition. BASTARD!
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:13:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:12:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I demand more virgins. Virgins with vaginas this time. No penii.
I DEMAND IT AND MY DEMAND ARE TO BE MET.
----
You didn't say they had to be alive.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:13:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should have changed the graphic to have my name in the green ass cloud.
I demand that someone do this and post it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:12:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It did generate great pieces.
FOUR OF THEM ALL. WRITTEN BY ME.
Everything else sucked ass.
I said to myself when I first saw this contest, "Self, we're going to win that thing hands down. Because all those other monkeys are total shite in comparison to you. You kick untold amounts of ass."
That's verbatim what I said.
Then on contest post day, I just thought at the keyboard and submitted whatever appeared in the submit box. Swear to God it's true.
I demand more virgins. Virgins with vaginas this time. No penii.
I DEMAND IT AND MY DEMAND ARE TO BE MET.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:10:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Whatchoo gonna do with broke ass nuke-you-lar relics? They're not suppositories you know.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:08:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, three way championship. They earned thier places, they brought what they had and you're the only one to mention it. Ubertines also had a three way. I think it worked out ok and this comp generated some great pieces.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 14:01:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 13:50:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
MALE VIRGINS? I don't want them.
As runner up, you may have the he-virgins Circe.
HighVoltage, the chocolatey gold is yours.
I'm keeping the nukes.
-----
*munches away happily on chocolate gold*
^.^ *munch munch*
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-03-17 13:53:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice fucking BS bracket you got there.
Three way championship?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 13:50:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MALE VIRGINS? I don't want them.
As runner up, you may have the he-virgins Circe.
HighVoltage, the chocolatey gold is yours.
I'm keeping the nukes.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-17 13:35:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See, now, THAT'S some high quality gloating, right there.
The virgins are male, the nuke-you-lar weapons are busted ass relics, and the gold has a delicious chocolatey centre.
And you'll like it.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 13:26:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I WIN MOTHER BITCHES!!!
I RULE OVER YOU ALL.
Meet my demands or face my wrath.
1. I demand 10 virgins at the start of every day to be placed nside my bed chamber
2. Gold. All of it. Go forth and gather the precious gold my minions.
3. I changed my mind. I want 20 virgins a day.
4. Make that 25
5. Three intercontinental ballistic nuclear missiles. But pronounce nuclear in the same manner as George Bush when you speak to me about them.
6. I'll get back to you with the rest of it after I take a nap.
7. I'll take that first batch of virgins now.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 13:22:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:13:38 (#)
Ranking: 2
Scourge dissed my intraweb boyfriend minicliquester!!!
===
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85242#1888677
No, no, no. See this. It explains what I was talking about. That whole interchange started because of a different post altogether.
We're cool.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So is this it? All that writing and retaliation rating to end without fan fare? Our winner doesn't even want victory?
Well PISS OFF TO ALL OF YOU! YOU ARE ALL BASTARDS AND I HATE YOU!
I WILL FIGHT ANY ONE OF YOU! I ONCE KILLED A POLAR BEAR WITH MY BARE HANDS AND ATE HIM WITH TACO SAUCE!
I HOPE YOU ALL DIE OF RECTAL BLEEDING!
Oh and congrats to scourge.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:32:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, I suck.
I didn't manage to devote enought time to read and rate properly, and I spaced out on the fact that results were being posted today.
This comp was AWESOME. So, so much good writing came of it.
Congratulations, scourge.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:15:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Aces all around, mates.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Scourge dissed my intraweb boyfriend minicliquester!!!
Hey, scourge, you grandstanding child minded autist, quitting after you win - while undoubtedly a grand and eloquent gesture, which is not unnoticed by the easily awed buffoons that lap adoringly at your feet - still leaves you room TO HAVE WON.
I see through you. You can't fool me.
(You are aware that we're cool and I want to bear all eighteen of your two headed armless tentacled eyeless freakbabies, right?)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:13:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great job, everyone. Every round had quality stuff.
Hail scourge, Shamrock King.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:11:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I thought scourge did better than I have seen him in a while. Everything was excellent.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:09:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Circe, it isn't true.
I've been dis-associating myself from my mini-clique in my move towards a more truthful, fair and just scourge. I need to get away from this being untruthful to myself.
I think barely anyone read the last round submissions anyway. Oh well.
I feel hollow inside. The sweet taste of victory just isn't there. I quit.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:06:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A very well deserved win I believe.
Everyone who contributed are winners!
No wait that's not right. That's communism.
Everyone who made it to the finals are sexy!
There we go. I feel better about that.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:04:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-17 12:03:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Scourge only won because of his little mini-clique, waah waaah waaah etc etc bitch moan whine.
Good contest, I had fun.