The Chinese Are Not Like Us (2094 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 1.27 on 60 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Teephphah (View user info) at 2006-03-17 15:49:32 EST
PROBABLY COMPLETELY UNECESSARY INTRODUCTION:
My father-in-law is a professor at a local college. My wife is the Head of the Occupational Therapy Department at the place where at she works at. Yesterday was "Career Day" at the college at which my father-in-law works. He roped my wife in to coming to tell the little losers he teaches about Occupational Therapy. She went. Had a nice lunch, talked to losers.
BUT! Kind of like the presenters at the Oscars get valuable gifts and prizes for appearing, my wife received a bag'o'goodies for showing up. This particular bag'o'goodies was hand-crafted by my father-in-law's secretary. It featured, among other things, a little outfit for the child we are expecting in July emblazed with the College's logo; a thing of some sort of motion or loisturiser for my wife (the typo was funny so I kept it), and a "toy" for my son.
But, what a toy!
It's technically a tape-measure. But oh so much more. It is a "Tickles the tapeworm" tape measure.
"Tickles the tapeworm?"
YESSIR! Tickles the tapeworm. One of the "Parasite Pals" (TM).
I don't really have anything more to say about that. What else CAN you say?
Parasite. Pals.
http://www.parasitepals.com
I wish I was making this up.
Also, here's a little bunch of crap I threw together after I found that website.
User Reviews
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-03-24 01:30:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am drunk and confused.
Did anyone mention you're yellow fevor, or you being a dink, or you being a race traitor?
If not, I jammed her, it is my kid, and I will end you.
Submitted by Arthur_Dent (user info) at 2006-03-23 21:21:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yidele called, he wants his title back
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:02:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:56:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Another time . . . another world . . . in the age of wonder . . . .
Another time . . . another world . . . this land was green and good . . . until the crystal cracked.
Once more, they must replenish themselves.
Cheat death again.
The power of their source?
The crystal.
(The crystal)
(If you have no idea what this is about, you NEED to download the original version of "Trip Like I Do" by the Crystal Method (not the version with Filter) off the album Vegas. You have to love ANY band that takes the intro from a creepy muppet movie and switches it to be a reference to crystal meth, AND THEN ROCKS YOUR FACE OFF.)
...
----
I want to gargle your sperm.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:15:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you know, shlongy should nickname his peener tickles the tapeworm!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:13:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to tell you something now, and you need to make sure that whichever one of your personalities is the most rational is in charge to hear it, okay? Here it goes: You are a joke. """
HAHAHAHAHHAHA
There is so much laughing material about ETS, he's the IHAKF.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-03-21 15:05:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your smugness has shorted out my last nerve"""
ETS speaks in such grandiloquent ways, like he's some kind of great character in history.
He lives in a movie.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 04:34:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
if there was more to this it'd be b@w for sure. can't believe i missed it... you should do another one with more, and i'll send it in to bored at work.
also, ets is tool. i disagreed with him on his most recent post, so he -2 me with himself and his alter on my b@w post. it was sweet.
love,
wardy.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-20 04:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by supadupapupa (user info) at 2006-03-20 04:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was a good creative effort!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-19 01:54:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But elect... Wildman, sorry.
Wildman, I thought you were against globalization?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-03-19 01:51:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
They are just like us except they have all of our manufacturing base now.
BTW- this was crap
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-19 01:35:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-18 22:43:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit is that funny. Rate the post, lithium-boy, not the poser.
----------------
Ok, Mr. Freud.
Here's your zero, poser.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-18 22:53:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-18 10:19:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
Your smugness has shorted out my last nerve.
------
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
POT AND KETTLE ALERT!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-18 22:43:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-18 10:19:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
No, I am very serious. To me, you are nothing now - like so much worm shit.
Your smugness has shorted out my last nerve, and now I will hit you and keep hitting you for as long as you keep coming on my posts acting like a little Republican child.
I've given you the benefit of the doubt long enough. Now you just piss me off.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Holy shit is that funny. Rate the post, lithium-boy, not the poser. Unless you want to argue that your ratings on this one had nothing to do with me being a Republican. And you call me the a child. Nice. Has anyone ever accused you of having blinders on? Anyone? Ever? Maybe?
I'm going to tell you something now, and you need to make sure that whichever one of your personalities is the most rational is in charge to hear it, okay? Here it goes: You are a joke.
Your job now is to accept that fact and move on.
Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, someone really needed to do it. Sorry. Still buds?
Istaros - The title was indeed a harkening back to the days of Yidele. You are probably the only one who caught it though.
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-03-18 12:16:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Tick. And the effort.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-18 12:00:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-18 10:19:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
No, I am very serious. To me, you are nothing now - like so much worm shit.
Your smugness has shorted out my last nerve, and now I will hit you and keep hitting you for as long as you keep coming on my posts acting like a little Republican child.
I've given you the benefit of the doubt long enough. Now you just piss me off."
ooooooo better be careful Teeph. i hear mindless zombies have a particular preference for young children.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-18 12:00:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haahaha you drew an ovary
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-03-18 11:49:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See? SEE??? This is where bipartisan politics have gotten us. Arguing over cartoon parasites.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-03-18 11:05:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I found it funny.
-Dave
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-18 10:19:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No, I am very serious. To me, you are nothing now - like so much worm shit.
Your smugness has shorted out my last nerve, and now I will hit you and keep hitting you for as long as you keep coming on my posts acting like a little Republican child.
I've given you the benefit of the doubt long enough. Now you just piss me off.
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2006-03-18 09:58:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2006-03-18 08:35:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
They sell these toys in the art shop near my house. I've come close to buying a Tickles the Tapeworm pencil box but didn't cause despite its strange appeal it made me cringe.
Eugh. Tapeworms.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-18 08:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-18 04:58:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
this fondly reminded me of yidele("the japanese are not like us"), so +1 for that
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-03-18 04:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-18 02:50:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck it, I like this.
There's also some stuff like that on ThinkGeek.com
I have like, 7 little plushies.
My niece has NO idea what they are, and she keeps asking every time I babysit her.
One day I will tell her, and I'll have to explain to my sister why her daughter is walking around with a surgical mask.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-18 02:16:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Serioulsy though, "you've been measured and found lacking."
Could you BE any more pretentious?
Come on, spill it. You LOOOOOOOOOOOOVE the cock, don't you?
It's okay, I won't tell anyone. Pinky promise.
Submitted by itchysfakepersonna (user info) at 2006-03-18 02:12:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
One of ETS' alters told me to spam this with -2s.
Submitted by itchy (user info) at 2006-03-18 02:11:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE WORD AND THE WORD WAS WITH GOD AND THE WORD WAS GOD AND ETS (aka GOD) SPAKE AND SAYETH, "TEEPHPHAH, I JUDGEST THEE UNFIT BECAUST THOU DOST NOT READ MY SHIT, BECAUST THOU HAST DISMISSED ME AS IN IDIOT AND IN SO DOING PISSEST ME OFF.
THEREFORE BE IT FOREVER HENCEFORTH DECREED, "AUTO WHINY PISSANT BITCH ALTER -2!"
If I didn't think you were a joke before Brad, you've sealed the deal now.
Good luck with all that.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-18 02:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Get the fuck over yourself B-Rad. Are you honestly trying to get me to retaliate against you by coming in here with your Messianic complex inspired alter? Or what's the "motivation" here? I ask, knowing that you're an artist, and that's how folks like you operate.
What the fuck is your issue?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49423#900378
Submitted by Vengance (user info) at 2006-03-18 00:40:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You've been measured and found lacking.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-03-17 20:23:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love how weird other cultures are.
I think I have a friendly parasite in my pants. My pubic zone has much itching.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-17 20:02:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
They sell plushes of Tickles the Tapeworm. And damn, do I want one.
If you got a kick out of this, you might like GIANTmicrobes at http://www.giantmicrobes.com/
I want Ebola, or E. coli
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-17 19:17:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
...Not necessarily...Your Japs and your Chinks could be there...3a...3b..."
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-03-17 18:06:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
they vely bad dlivers and they talka rik dis.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-03-17 17:39:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
duh, they have these tiny vagina clit eyes that makes it harm for them to drive
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2006-03-17 17:36:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:01:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Awwwwwwwww. ETS has a tapeworm. =(
Why to kill the parasite ETS? Give it a name and become happy!
-----------------------------------
Hahahaha! I'm dyin ovah heah!
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:53:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I would have given this a good rating if there was a fucking AIDS virus, that alone was ignorant enough to warrant a -2.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well that sounds stinkerish.
That's the last time I trust the stupid "MADE IN CHINA EXCLUSIVELY FOR ACCOUTREMENTS, P.O. BOX 30811, SEATTLE, WA 98113 USA (C) 2004 ACCOUTREMENTS. MADE ON RECYCLED PAPER." label.
I bow to your superior knowledge of kitsch, and indeed, all things. Your Google research Kung-Fu is strong.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You even made the broken English in the descriptions match. What a pro!
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:20:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Interesting... but two minutes of cursory examination via google reveals that:
A. The Parasite Pals are Japanese, not Chinese
B. They are a novelty gag even in Japan, sort of like Anime Garbage Pail Kids
C. The "Engrish" on their website is a marketing gimmick.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:17:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was great.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:16:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh....my....fucking....god.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:11:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:09:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PROBABLY COMPLETELY UNECESSARY INTRODUCTION:
Yes and it itches too!
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:05:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's neato man. Far out groovy like kind of thing, holmes. Fer sure and totally. OMG! You are so NOT SQUARE, Da-Da-Daddy-O.
xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo.
smoochies!
Submitted by Mandamus (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:02:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Bizarre, and funny.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:01:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Awwwwwwwww. ETS has a tapeworm. =(
Why to kill the parasite ETS? Give it a name and become happy!
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-03-17 16:01:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:58:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:58:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck....
That's funny as shit.
Submitted by DizzyMissus (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:57:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:56:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"My wife is the Head of the Occupational Therapy Department at the place where at she works at."
That is perhaps one of the greatest sentences ever composed in the English language.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:55:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See, some peoples have just as much time to waste as me!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:55:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I HIGHLY recommend the annimations to be found under "Fun Stuff" on that website.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:55:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wowwwwwwww.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:54:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am so disturbed by this that I choose to believe that you made it all up. It's just better that way.
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:54:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W
fucking funny
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-17 15:53:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whew...good thing I finished lunch