10 Kick Fucking Ass Movies (2139 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.2 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Pokey "I Pity Da Foo....Fighters" Pecker (View user info) at 2006-03-19 14:23:05 EST
If you don't like it, or agree, fuck you. You're wrong. I'm right. End of story, penis-lovin'.
If you don't like list posts, fuck you. I didn't ask for your fucking opinion, did I?
If you don't like me, fuck you. Believe me, I HATE you more than you'll EVER hate me.
If there are spelling and/or grammatical errors in this post, fuck you.
If you are an idiot, which you are, fuck you.
Basically, fuck you, no matter what.
Here are 10 Kick Fucking Ass Movies.
User Reviews
Submitted by scinut (user info) at 2008-08-08 17:01:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:22:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here, this is the War Room!"
BEST.
LINE.
EVAR.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 10:50:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Seen 1,2,3,7, and 8
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-20 10:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When this is all over, you and me should get an apartment together.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-03-20 08:09:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about PokeyPecker
User id: 18992
Registered on or around: 2005-05-18 14:25:41
# of days you have had nothing better to do with your life: 315
# of times you have felt it appropriate to comment on someone else's lack of sex: 3987
# Times people have felt it necessary to call you "old wrinkly balls" and laugh about it : 6253
# Hits: Not nearly enough for 300 messages
Average rating of all messages: No one really cares about you.
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-20 06:42:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Some good calls.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-03-20 02:38:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Blue Velvet, Withnail, Raging Bull, Dr. Strangelove, Five Easy Pieces, Gallipoli. All Good movies.
I will also give you Blade Runner, as long as you are talking about the directors cut which actually had an ending.
7/10 that I liked or have seen, although not sure if they would have made my top 10.
-Dave
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2006-03-19 22:48:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bear with me. I'm stoned, here.
First off, I will say that I've only seen HALF of your list's films, but I couldn't agree with you more.
- Blade Runner
Everyone who has seen the Fifth Element and loved it (I walked out) should see this film, if they haven't already. Han Solo dreams of electric sheep and gets his shit ruined by replicants, in the year 2019 (I think it was...). The musical score is probably one of my favorite attributes. It had a charming pseudo-futuristic vibe, with long-sustained synth-y pads, yet (some of the time) with an ethereal ambience that really accentuates the sights: A giant metropolis of monolithic buildings sprawling out as far as you can see, and some of them shoot mad fire, yo.
- Blue Velvet
"Mommy! Mommyyy! Baby wants to fuck! Baby wants Blue Velv- Don't you fuckin' look at me!" *Crack*
This is my favorite David Lynch film of all, putting Eraserhead in second place. When I was seventeen (two years ago), my mother constantly urged me to watch this movie. I didn't think much of it until one night, when I'd watched all of my rentals for the week, that Blue Velvet was the only one that I didn't give a chance.
After watching that film, I went out and rented as many Twin Peaks episodes as I could get my hands on. The beginning scene of Blue Velvet - with the colorful neighborhood montage, slowly fading into the ground below to show the bugs and creepy-crawlies fighting through the dirt - really plays out the entire mood of the film.
- Dr. Strangelove (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Blah Blah Blah)
A Clockwork Orange will always be my most favorite Kubrick film, but Strangelove (which I saw at my mother's suggestion once again) is in second, man. Peter Sellers was awesome as the President, Strangelove and that Mandrake dude (he was also really funny as Quilty in Lolita). I wish that they didn't lose the alternate ending to Strangelove (pie-fight in the war room - no joke).
Did you know that when Ronald Reagan became President, he asked to see the war room? "Uh, sir? There IS NO war room."
- Raging Bull
Loved it, but I feel too stoned explain no mo'...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-19 20:07:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-19 14:32:13 (#)
Ranking: -1
2,4 and 7 were worth it.
The rest blow.
300+ posts in 10 months? And only 169,000 hits? What the fuck is WRONG with you?
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-03-19 20:01:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Robert Di Nero is one of,
if not THE greatest actor
of all time. And I mean, in
HUMAN HISTORY.
//
Oh, human history. Thanks for clearing that up. Blue Velvet gets a +, anything by David Lynch, and I agree about "De" Niro.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-19 19:44:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WAIT WAIT I SAW DR. STRANGELOVE
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-19 19:43:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I've seen...
...none of them.
I suck.
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-03-19 18:56:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
we watched gallipoli in history class. good movie.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-03-19 18:42:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yeah, plus 1 for dr. strangelove
Submitted by zajebisty (user info) at 2006-03-19 18:17:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I couldn't even get to the list because you're so bloody defensive. FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK FUCK. Just say what you have to say and be done already. I hate myself already...
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-19 17:48:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i contemplated that you could have been joking, but this is the internet, where anything is possible.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-03-19 17:30:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:53:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:36:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't really want to rate this. Gallipoli is pretty good. So's De Niro...
Needs more rape. Seriously.
And horror movies, as a rule, suck, and belong on no kind of top 10 lists except for top 10 horror movies.
Not a single Vin Diesel movie?
_____________________________
more rape, huh. you must be a "kids" fan. "it's just me, casper"
honetsly, you lose all credibilty when you follow your attack of horror films with a plea for more vin diesel movies.
"gone in 60" blew.
"xxx" blew
"pitch black" was all right, but the follow up blew.
event horizon by itself is better than any vin diesel movie.
==================
What are you, six? Did you HONESTLY think I was serious?
Did you really and truly believe that I was serious when I made that comment? I mean, come ON, that's like saying Brandon Lee was the best actor ever.
You're a sinner. And mildly retarded.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-19 17:15:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*your
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-19 17:14:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i meant fast and furious, not gone in 60 seconds....
dr. strangelove IS bullshit. 5 minutes of sterling hayden and his fucking water fetish and i wanted to gouge my eyes out. also (and this really bugged me) it has no fucking soundtrack. scenes feel way longer than they should.
the movie is way overrated.
from our list, it's evident that you don't like any movies fter 1987. if i was to pick my pokeypecker top movie list, i could say, citizen kane, casablanca, mary poppins, it's a wonderful life, and throw in a few "unapreciated" movies like butterflies are free, and Rocket Gibraltar
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-19 17:00:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
meh. no pulp fiction. no big lebowski. those two alone should be on everyone's list.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:54:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear Pen-Name:
"culty, bullshit movies?!?!?!?"
What the fuck are you talking about? You think a Friday 13th movie belongs on a list like this?
"safe picks?" What up there is "safe?"
Dr. Strangelove is "bullshit?"
Ok, fuck-clown. When you've made a better movie, I'll pay to watch it.
Until then;
STFU!!!
========
P.S. I need a blowjob. I can't remember but I think you're 1) female and 2) relativly attractive. Please suck my penis.
If you're not female and not attractive, forget that offer.
x0x0x0x00xx0x
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:53:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:36:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't really want to rate this. Gallipoli is pretty good. So's De Niro...
Needs more rape. Seriously.
And horror movies, as a rule, suck, and belong on no kind of top 10 lists except for top 10 horror movies.
Not a single Vin Diesel movie?
_____________________________
more rape, huh. you must be a "kids" fan. "it's just me, casper"
honetsly, you lose all credibilty when you follow your attack of horror films with a plea for more vin diesel movies.
"gone in 60" blew.
"xxx" blew
"pitch black" was all right, but the follow up blew.
event horizon by itself is better than any vin diesel movie.
Submitted by malkavian (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:44:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cinema is my life so, thanks for all those good renting suggestions.
And come on people, relax. It is humanly impossible to make the AAABSOLUTE PERFECT best movies list, every one knowa that, if you guys take it seriously, well, it's your fucking problem.
Really, anyone that considers this post something more than just a list of personal bests should be beaten to death with an old fashioned burlesque slapstick (aaah nostalgy).
My Top ten list would have include "Citizen Kane", somewhere. Oh! And Apolcalypse Now Redux. That was fucking cool. Oh and what about Full Metal Jacket?
Well, moving on...
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
typical list. nothing on there i'd really argue with.
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:36:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't really want to rate this. Gallipoli is pretty good. So's De Niro...
Needs more rape. Seriously.
And horror movies, as a rule, suck, and belong on no kind of top 10 lists except for top 10 horror movies.
Not a single Vin Diesel movie? BTW, did you know Vin Diesel was in Saving Private Ryan? No shit, he really was. Caparzo, big eye-tye, get's killed early on. If you DID know that, don't even TRY to say you knew that until after seeing the Fast and the Furious, and then just a random viewing of SPR. What happened was you saw SPR, saw a big bald Italian, spat out you Barq's root beer and tortilla chips, and said, "holy shit, is that fuckin' VIN DIESEL?!"
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:34:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:23:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:05:52 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shitty taste? Those are GREAT fucking movies PEN. What would YOU have picked?
__________________________________________
dr. strangelove is bullshit. it's ok to watch once or twice, but from then on it is dull and boring.
you don't have any arnold schwarzenneger movies.
you don't have any arnold schwarzenneger movies.
you have five easy pieces but you don't have coockoos nest or the shining.
you ignored horror movies....evil dead, dead alive, nightmare on elm street, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (best jason movie in my opinion), EVENT HORIZON...it goes on and on.
you didn't include the matrix...you may forget, but when it came out it was huge, and it gave rise to more rip offs than mad max ever did.
alot of those movies are dated.
and it seemed like, as jack black said in high fidelity, that you had 3 or 4 safe picks, and then sandwiched a bunch of culty, bullshit movies around them.
not a good list
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-19 15:58:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a good point, CO. But I stand by what I said.
And it's not an internet fight. There is no such thing. It's just one random jackass typing away in one random location and ANOTHER random jackass typing away in ANOTHER random location.
So, fuck you.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You're right.
As far as random location though...
The only thing I like more than your mom's wallpaper job on the dining room walls is the job her toothless gums are doing on my cock.
:)
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:05:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shitty taste? Those are GREAT fucking movies PEN. What would YOU have picked?
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-19 16:03:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you have shitty taste, that said, +2 for vernon wells, a.k.a. Bennet
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-19 15:58:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have a good point, CO. But I stand by what I said.
And it's not an internet fight. There is no such thing. It's just one random jackass typing away in one random location and ANOTHER random jackass typing away in ANOTHER random location.
So, fuck you.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-19 15:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-19 15:07:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, I'm an old fucker.
Which means I'm more experienced than you, I've fucked more women than you, I've seen more of the world than you, and, I promise you, I can outsmart you in the business world.
So, like I said FIRST; fuck YOU
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Everything you ever wanted to know about PokeyPecker
User id: 18992
Registered on or around: 2005-05-18 14:25:41
# Messages posted: 315
# Reviews written: 3987
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 6253
# Hits: 169826
Average rating of all messages: 0.86
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WoHOOO! Suckered the old experienced guy into an internet fight!
How the hell are you going to able to do ANY of those things when in just about 10 months you've posted more than 300 times and wrote nearly 4000 reviews?
Doesn't really make me believe you have time for much else, you over-the-internet self-proclaimed wordly, womanizing, travelling Forbes businessman.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-03-19 15:18:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not sure any of these would make my top-ten but that's not a bad list.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-19 15:07:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, I'm an old fucker.
Which means I'm more experienced than you, I've fucked more women than you, I've seen more of the world than you, and, I promise you, I can outsmart you in the business world.
So, like I said FIRST; fuck YOU.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-19 15:03:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
dude.... you're fucking old.
So Fuck You.
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-03-19 14:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 For Dr. strangelove.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-19 14:45:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
1,7,10 for me
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-03-19 14:42:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
3,4,5 and 10 warrant a +2.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-19 14:33:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Have you seen the rest, fuckface?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-19 14:32:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
2,4 and 7 were worth it.
The rest blow.