I had a threesome, and loved it! (& NSFW Camwhore) (4008 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.64 on 57 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Pragmatic (View user info) at 2006-03-19 22:56:47 EST
Okay, in 'real life' I am a good girl, respectable, innocent, and don't do things like this. I need to tell someone what happened Saturday night (anyone, even nerdy internet people) so you're all blessed with my latest obsession.
Cock. I like it. I like it in any orifice, any time, any where, and get me in the sack and I turn into a raging cum-slut. And for as long as I can remember, I've wanted more than one cock. It turns out, my boyfriend wants a credit so that he can have his MFF threesome (I'm not telling him that he doesn't need a credit, I'm just as keen as he is) so this weekend, we went out, and I got myself another cock.
I went out clubbing, had a couple of wines under my belt, and no knickers on. A below knee-length black skirt, black high heels, and a sheer black top that kinda wraps around me and doesn't require any thing worn underneath, despite which I wear a bra.
Anyway, I drag my boyfriend to the dance floor and kinda rudely barge myself into this circle of friends, including two good looking guys. And boyfriend gives me a nod and a wink and wanders off to watch from a distace. I zero in on one of the guys, and while we dance, have a loud dance-floor conversation. I suss him out: He's a loser who talks too much about himself, but for the purposes of this experiment, I don't care, I don't need to hear him talk. I grab him and rub him up, and he asks me if my boyfriend doesn't mind what I'm doing?
My response was:
"Well, no point beating around the bush. I like cock and I'm looking for another one. I want a threesome tonight and I'd like you to be my third. Ideally I want to have my bf fuck me from behind while I suck you off, but I'm open to DP etc. You keen?"
The poor guy, his eyes just about pop out of his head. He looks at me, says 'I want to, but... another cock? I don't think I could... you know... perform....'
He looks frantically around for his mates, and I know he's wanting to get their advice and tell them all he'll be getting some ass (Principally mine) and he excitedly tell them the news. They look at me and obviously inform him that he take up my offer. So he comes back over and I grab him and ask for his decision. He tells me he'd do anything to get into my pants, so I grab him and the three of us exit the club, hop into a taxi, and go back to my place.
We have a drink to loosen us up, and I move in for the kill. I sit in his lap, one leg either side of him, facing him, and kiss him, running my hands over him. He responds, and I start undoing his shirt. I feel a pair of hands undoing my bra and removing my top, and then my skirt is lifted up and my bf starts playing with me from behind. My victim below me has discovered my bra has been removed and plays with my breasts, then removes his mouth from mine and adheres them to my breasts. I'm in heaven, it's fantastic having two pairs of hands, hard to tell where one person ends and the next begins. I cum all over my bf's fingers... fantastic.
I slide down till I'm on all fours and start sucking the guy off, my bf starts licking me out... and then we naturally progress and he's fucking me, getting his rocks off as I make choking noises having the other guys cock rammed down my throat, and guy no. 2 seems to be enjoying himself too. My bf cums all over my back and no. 2 blows his load all over my face and breasts.
I won't go into huge detail because I'm not writing a porn here, just telling you that it was fantastic.
So I have a chick lined up for this weekend, (a treat for my man) and I'm looking forward to it. After that.... I want another guy again. And I want to try other things. And I'm looking forward to it.
I assure you, the sex I have with my man is fantastic, but I don't want to go through life wondering what something would feel like, wondering if I had missed out.
And although you won't believe me, this is me.... I'm not putting my face on Uber because if this gets out, I'll be Urbane all over again.
User Reviews
Submitted by rosemadder (user info) at 2007-10-05 22:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was one of the first posts that caught my attention on this site.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-30 15:35:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:10:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
you get a +2 for being the muse of this
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-20 00:42:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh my God, I fucked two guys!
I took two men between my thighs!
My skin received their loads of cum!
Some on my face, some on my bum!
I'll share my tale, but not too much!
It's phoned in, sure, but just a touch!
The details: sure to stiff your dick!
The payoff: one cropped alter pic!
I'm scandalous, but now I'm sore!
The curse of the attention whore!
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-03-30 15:29:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice ass.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-03-30 15:19:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If that really is you, I'd let you blow warm breath on my anus hole!?!
Submitted by EdselSpeedy_THC (user info) at 2006-03-24 00:18:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
New outfit - $80
Club admission - $20
Drinks - $120
Having your boyfriend ditch you because you're a filthy slut, and having to pay for a cab home because the two slimeballs that you fucked bareback in the men's bathroom took off - $35
Posting some made up story, and a stolen picture on Ubersite to cover your pathetic life of bullshit....
PRICELESS
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2006-03-24 00:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
for needing to share that
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-03-23 23:55:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by fading_suns (user info) at 2006-03-23 21:23:07 (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah, I know pleny of nice, good girls who toss around "cumslut" and "DP" while their boyfriend tosses off on their back.
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-03-23 23:42:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Original Submissions
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Everything you ever wanted to know about Deconstruction
User id: 24097
Registered on or around: 2005-12-15 22:41:17
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 699
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-03-23 21:44:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
whoreiffic
see what I did there?
Probably not.
Text can't portray the amount of hate I feel for this post and the "author" behind it, so I'm leaving it alone with my stupid pun and explanation of.
Submitted by fading_suns (user info) at 2006-03-23 21:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Yeah, I know pleny of nice, good girls who toss around "cumslut" and "DP" while their boyfriend tosses off on their back.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2006-03-21 19:16:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Prag, it's not so much the content of your message, its the way you delivered it.
I've written about fucking and getting fucked by other men, but Ive done it in an interesting way.
You just wrote about getting fucked by other men. Nothing insightful, nothing funny or even the least bit interesting, just poorly worded and hardly attention getting pornography.
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-03-21 17:48:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You should join MY religion, we welcome your open legs with open arms.
I'll even "christen" you myself.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-03-21 17:46:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I won't go into huge detail because I'm not writing a porn here, just telling you that it was fantastic.
-------------------------
suuuuuuuure
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-03-21 17:37:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rock on
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-20 23:11:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 for being unafraid to express yourself sexually.
-2 for doing a really bad job of it.
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:24:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not a whore in the traditional sense of the word- I haven't slept with everything and everyone around me. My boyfriend is the first guy I have slept with in 2 years- since my last serious man.
And yes, I believe in God. Yes, I feel guilt. But unfortunately, I'm FAR from perfect, I'm human, fallible, and the physical urge is stronger than my desire to be the perfect christian.
And that's why I don't go around telling everyone that I'm perfect or trying to force them to believe my religion- I'm not the role model I'd like to be.
Everyone understands sometimes that the physical needs outweigh common sense? How many times have people woken up to someone who is so ugly, they would gnaw their own arm off to escape unscathed?
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:32:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You believe in god right? Aren't you worried your imaginary friend can see you doing this stuff?
Submitted by psychodude98 (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:18:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:02:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
did this have a point?
aside from you being a vapid whore?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-20 16:10:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you get a +2 for being the muse of this
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-20 00:42:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh my God, I fucked two guys!
I took two men between my thighs!
My skin received their loads of cum!
Some on my face, some on my bum!
I'll share my tale, but not too much!
It's phoned in, sure, but just a touch!
The details: sure to stiff your dick!
The payoff: one cropped alter pic!
I'm scandalous, but now I'm sore!
The curse of the attention whore!
Submitted by mikeedapikey (user info) at 2006-03-20 11:36:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Category: Romance
Eeerrrrr....Romance? What part was romantic? Man fat shooting over your back or the way you slug stained your bf's fingers?
Just curious as my girlfriend says I should be more romantic.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-03-20 09:37:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-20 04:45:56 (#)
Ranking: 1
Four out of ten for effort I'm afriad. This could have been lifted from any one of those 'sexy short stories' which seem to glut the internet. That's really not a bad thing in and of itself but here at Uber we prefer rape.
With regards to the actual piece (ha ha) I would suggest focusing more on the bodily fluids. If you write in greater detail about the feel of ejaculate on her thigh then your audience will be better able to suspend their disbelief. You could try masterbating into a plastic cup and then flinging it on yourself. You could even heat it up in the microwave to make it feel more 'fresh'.
Other ideas could be talking about reading a man's pulse through your lips or highlighting physical aspects of the partners, such as downy hair on the buttocks.
<><><><><><><>
BWWWWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
< cough, choke, falls over and dies >
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-20 09:21:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ew. letting some random guy with who knows what strain of herpes splooge all over you? just ew.
oh and HA HA KNICKERS
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-20 09:14:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Didn't even read it.
Submitted by JackalFett (user info) at 2006-03-20 08:50:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:12:03 (#)
Ranking: -1
I gave you a poor rating because despite the old saying, to me sex does not sell. I am not turned off by people writing it as long as it has purpose. I am sure some people will like this and others won't.
I do not.
Write something that will make me laugh or cry or think or scream. This just made me go "Okay I'm glad you got to do that. Why should I care?"
Submitted by hactar (user info) at 2006-03-20 08:34:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm pleased to see that this did not pass for content. Excellent.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-03-20 08:29:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-20 05:04:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 04:59:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
"such as downy hair on the buttocks. "
haha, i did this in my post about losing my virginity. listen to berty! he knows his shit!
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I don't really. I just rob all this stuff from the Chanel Four forum.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 04:59:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"such as downy hair on the buttocks. "
haha, i did this in my post about losing my virginity. listen to berty! he knows his shit!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-20 04:45:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Four out of ten for effort I'm afriad. This could have been lifted from any one of those 'sexy short stories' which seem to glut the internet. That's really not a bad thing in and of itself but here at Uber we prefer rape.
With regards to the actual piece (ha ha) I would suggest focusing more on the bodily fluids. If you write in greater detail about the feel of ejaculate on her thigh then your audience will be better able to suspend their disbelief. You could try masterbating into a plastic cup and then flinging it on yourself. You could even heat it up in the microwave to make it feel more 'fresh'.
Other ideas could be talking about reading a man's pulse through your lips or highlighting physical aspects of the partners, such as downy hair on the buttocks.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-03-20 04:43:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sort of interesting story... but the description of the sex didn't sound very....well...sexy actaully. And by saying that no one will believe its you in the photo is a bit vain. She/you/whatever... looks pretty average. We all wear stockings darling.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 04:21:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
so... ummm... yeah....
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-03-20 02:07:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:41:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
This is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo close to setting off the shitty alter alert.
Seriously.
Not even a hooker would call herself a "cumslut"
-----
QueenAshlee once spent an entire weekend referring to herself as a "dirty little cockwhore."
Surely you remember that drama. And if not, here's the link to why I don't think I'll be going to any more Ubercons. http://www.ubersite.com/m/69071
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-20 01:53:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-20 00:42:47 (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh my God, I fucked two guys!
I took two men between my thighs!
My skin received their loads of cum!
Some on my face, some on my bum!
I'll share my tale, but not too much!
It's phoned in, sure, but just a touch!
The details: sure to stiff your dick!
The payoff: one cropped alter pic!
I'm scandalous, but now I'm sore!
The curse of the attention whore!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You'll get a +2 from me on your next post if the pictures bigger and more revealing...hahaha
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-03-20 01:31:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
+2 Orgasmatron poem
-4 you kinda suck
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-20 01:14:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
link whore
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85533
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-20 01:12:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:17:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
Sizzle, next time (hopefully this weekend) I'll have a MFF threesome, and will possibly post again, if I'm this excited still.
I've slept with a chick before, it's kinda cool thinking my bf will be watching me lick her out- and then we can suck him off together- how's that for teamwork?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That is the right kind of team work. Besides the fact that I don't like the whole MMF threesome I think this post is pretty good. I don't know why everyone is being a fuckhead about it.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-20 00:42:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh my God, I fucked two guys!
I took two men between my thighs!
My skin received their loads of cum!
Some on my face, some on my bum!
I'll share my tale, but not too much!
It's phoned in, sure, but just a touch!
The details: sure to stiff your dick!
The payoff: one cropped alter pic!
I'm scandalous, but now I'm sore!
The curse of the attention whore!
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-03-20 00:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:41:16 (#)
Ranking: -1
way to long for "i was one guy away from being airtight and then got jizzed all over. had a great weekend"
==================================================
Fucking hilarious.
-1 for making two guys see each other's cocks.
Submitted by JSultan (user info) at 2006-03-20 00:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:41:16 (#)
Ranking: -1
way to long for "i was one guy away from being airtight and then got jizzed all over. had a great weekend"
____________
haha..exactly..
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:58:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fair enough
I'll go sit in the corner for a while then, I'll wear my dunce hat.
Why is it that I want to be accepted and loved by the Uber community at large? Why? I actually have a life, i don't need to be here... yet I am, and still a slobbering brown-noser to earn Uber's love.
Enough already, work has finished, Monday is over, and I've got training, time to go punch the living shit out of the poor sod I'm sparring tonight.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:53:39 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"I won't go into huge detail because I'm not writing a porn here"
Yes you are.
Look, the reason this is annoying and the one you linked to isn't is because -
That one was funny.
That one didn't go into detail about what he was wearing
That one didn't call himself a cumslut
I mean, do whatever you like, call yourself whatever you will, but if you put it up on here don't word it like something off a seedy porn website: "Watch good girls become total cumsluts!! She's up for DP!!"
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:41:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo close to setting off the shitty alter alert.
Seriously.
Not even a hooker would call herself a "cumslut"
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:41:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/67933
How come he can get away with it but I can't?
I'm not being a bitch here, but a genuine question... why? Should I have posted a pic of something else? Is it my writing style? Is it too much like porn?
Meh
Submitted by Kracka (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:41:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
way to long for "i was one guy away from being airtight and then got jizzed all over. had a great weekend"
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
back to penthouse forum with you.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:31:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Holy shit I didn't mean +2.
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:30:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, in 'real life' I am a good girl, respectable, innocent, and don't do things like this.
_____________________________
WHORE ALERT
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*sigh*
No use saying I'm not an alter I guess, but I'm not.
And I thought ETS was hot. (I go for that loner, emo, I'm against the world kinda thing) You've just ruined yourself for me.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:22:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope no one else reviews this piece of shit post by a piece of shit alter.
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:17:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sizzle, next time (hopefully this weekend) I'll have a MFF threesome, and will possibly post again, if I'm this excited still.
I've slept with a chick before, it's kinda cool thinking my bf will be watching me lick her out- and then we can suck him off together- how's that for teamwork?
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:16:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's hoping AIDS is just around the corner.
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:15:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks for explain, H V. I don't care too much about the ratings, unless it drags me down further than I already am, but I just needed to tell someone, and seriously, I'm such a good girl in real life, I couldn't tell any of my mates. Sad aye. But I think a lot of people are quite different in the bedroom to how they are in real life.
Also a lot of people think they have sick perversions.... I thought I was weird til I found this website... http://grouphug.us/
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:14:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1. -1 because I don't like MMF threesomes. Its not the right kind of team work.
2. +1 for giving me a hard one
3. +2 as incentive to video take your next threesome
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:12:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I gave you a poor rating because despite the old saying, to me sex does not sell. I am not turned off by people writing it as long as it has purpose. I am sure some people will like this and others won't.
I do not.
Write something that will make me laugh or cry or think or scream. This just made me go "Okay I'm glad you got to do that. Why should I care?"
Is that a better explanation? I increased your rating (albeit slightly) since you felt I did not explain previously.
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:06:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I knew it, now for the stream of -2's. This really is me. I can go home tonight and put some pretty lingerie on and make a sign that says 'I'm pragmatic and High Voltage gave me a -2 for no reason at all'
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-19 23:00:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Bullshit that is a picture of me I took during my 'questionable' years.