Shlongy is the fucking man. (1032 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.26 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HH (View user info) at 2006-03-20 17:24:23 EST
Tribute:
Did you guys get the fucking memo? Shlongy is the fucking man. He is 6'8'' and eats babies for breakfast. His dick is larger than anything any of you could ever even dream of.
He plays video games, jerks off, and jerks you off all at the same time without you even knowing it. Never mind that whenever he goes anywhere he smokes White Owl strawberry blunts and does whatever he wants to do.
If you are reviewed by Shlongy you should be so fucking lucky to get a -2 because he is above all that is Uber.
Random Facts about Shlongy:
Ever wonder why the little mermaid couldn't walk or talk after becoming human? Shlongy just got through with her.
When he was nine, Shlongy dressed as himself to go trick-or-treating. He came home with a bag full of candy, a bag full of miniature liquor bottles, an Irish Setter, and two underage prostitutes carrying more of his candy.
Japan was attacked by Shlongy in ancient times. They have recently made movies about him. They are called "Godzilla"
If you play Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side of the Moon' album whilst watching 'The Wizard of Oz' on the TV with no sound Shlongy appears and begins raping the shit out of Dorothy.
Ubersite without Shlongy is like a world without rape. It just doesn't happen.
User Reviews
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-23 20:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff, man. Good stuff.
...but if you really want to know about Shlongy; his deepest darkest secret:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85265
For serious.
Submitted by Still-Life (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:01:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This kicks ass.
Its like a GOOD chuck norris facts.
Mostly because Shlongy > Chuck Norris...
... Chuck drinks bitch beer. Its a proven fact.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:29:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2006-03-20 23:13:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank god it wasnt a picture of Shlongy in his underwear.
No kidding...
Hey, wait a second here...
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:17:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking classic
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:54:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:34:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This fucking blew ass. Just like the one about Chuck Norris. Any moron can write a bunch of one liners.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:34:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Allegedly, a few things in here made me smile.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:25:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you replace Shlongy with AJ you still have a few lines that are applicable.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:08:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is proof positive you can smoke pole, take it in the butt and type, all at the same time.
Submitted by Sheba (user info) at 2006-03-20 23:37:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Homo.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2006-03-20 23:13:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank god it wasnt a picture of Shlongy in his underwear.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-20 22:33:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about Kale
User id: 5476
Registered on or around: 2004-01-29 13:37:54
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 369
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
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Who the fuck woke you up, KaleFuckstick?
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2006-03-20 22:24:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-03-20 22:12:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy is indeed, the fucking man.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-20 22:12:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The Shlongster has more tribute posts than anyone else here. Deservedly so. . .
But your writing blows, HH. . .
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:58:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlongy's pretty funny.
You aren't.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:53:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And THAT body of work is over a year old. Volume two is even more impressive.
I'm a veritable cottage industry of hate.
Submitted by hactar (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:43:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm astonished. completely, utterly fucking mind blowingly in awe. quite an empire, shlongy.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:13:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Meh
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:08:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
People are naming themselves after Hawthorne Heights now? Repent Repent the end is nigh!
The random facts were funny though.
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:18:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, that is hilarious.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:16:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait a second....I was Wrong??? Me, Shlongy...WRONG???
Maybe I should have +2-ed you then.
This will get you started...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64248
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It wasn't a rip at all.
I laugh at almost every review you write.
I did this tribute because it was you're 100th post.
That... and ... I love you.
...
...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:10:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:55:10 (#)
Ranking: -1
Im not gonna kiss shlongy's ass like every other worthless asshole around here...
Flack- You saw this as ASS KISSING? I saw it as an attempt at a rip.
A shitty one, but an attempt nonetheless, so I gotta give this toolboy "mad props".
Isn't that how you young whippersnappers say it?
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:04:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for comical improvement.
I actually thought the one about halloween best.
Submitted by Flack (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:55:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Im not gonna kiss shlongy's ass like every other worthless asshole around here...
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:50:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I haven't been here very long and even I knew this already!!
+1 for stating the obvious!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:45:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you kidding me? This is the land of Uber, where anybody who is anybody knows that Shlongy is KING..and you think we need someone named after a shitty band to tell us where to direct our worship?
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:39:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
news? this isn't news.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:33:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He sure is.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:11:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You SAW THAT???
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If you play Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side of the Moon' album whilst watching 'The Wizard of Oz' on the TV with no sound Shlongy appears and begins raping the shit out of Dorothy.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:56:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
alright shlongy, here's a zero. this actually does show considerable improvement from his other stuff.
you got off lucky, hawthorne man sir. if i didn't owe shlongy a shiny apple i'd have said fuck it and left. you're lucky to have such powerful friends.
your soon to be naked lover,
wardy.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:54:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey, the kid's just going for a + and a few hits...You can't really blame him.
Up to now, no one has ever even heard of this dork.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:54:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because my name was not mentioned once in that post. it's a well known fact that during shlongy's college years a skinny punk with a rock guitar and a blue parakeet helped him pick up vagina, lift stereos, and cheat on his econ tests. that silly little man was me, and i am a major reason that shlongy is a contributer to the world in its present day, even he can't deny that.
go ahead, ask him. either way, nothing against you, it's just the rules.
i love you,
wardy.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:51:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for namedropping, even if it is that of an elder.
+2 for being able to type with Shlongy's nuts on your chin and the screen blocked by his pelvis, trying to blink the pubes out of your eyes as you alternately hit keys with your forefingers and tap his brown spider thumbwise.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:42:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy likes fucking men.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:42:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This might be your first + post. But you can't continually use the Shlongy name or the fans start to tire of it, and they see right through your little charade.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:41:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You left out some stuff - my life is even BETTER than just that list...and couldn't you AT LEAST have photoshopped my head on to that dead guys' body?
This wasn't very good. But I + almost all tributes. And there hasn't been one in, what, 4 days or so.
So consider this charity.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:36:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed.
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:36:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85533.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:31:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
you forgot about the golf, scotch, gambling, and greyhounds...but essentially correct.
Submitted by Paddles (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:28:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Thanks for searing the image of Superman's tight underpants onto my retinas for the rest of all eternity, tool.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:27:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:27:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
If you play Pink Floyd's 'Dark Side of the Moon' album whilst watching 'The Wizard of Oz' on the TV with no sound Shlongy appears and begins raping the shit out of Dorothy.
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Hell that made me laugh.