The Art Of -2 (1141 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.9 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Brendon (View user info) at 2006-03-20 17:46:25 EST
Crushing someones hard work &/or desperate pleas for approval with a swift -2 kick in the nuts is the best thing about uber. In fact on my Top Three Great Things About Uber List >>
1 the immensely likeable PEOPLE that comprise the soul of ubersite, with their thought provoking posts which make us laugh and sometimes cry
2 charismatic leadership of it's founder and
3 feeling like a big man after giving out -2 accompanied by snide remark
>> two of them aren't even true hence -2ing is the best thing, by the process of elimination.
And what post about -2ing would be complete without an "ode" to shlongy-
hickory, dickory dock,
yadda yadda, suck my cock.
(shlongy).
There, now this post has a top such n such list AND homo erotic poetry. All it needs now is an exaggerated anecdote, or a completly falsified story (ala meth, uber's resident psychotic fantasist- every single one of his posts is a complete fabrication, he doesn't even know he's lying).
Also ... do not -2 this post, it's only funny when it's happening to someone else.
As for the art of it, well, the most important thing is picking your targets. The best people to hit are the cry babies, the serious writers, & the crippled-by-insecurity-women. Although I draw the line at low blowing girls, over their looks especially. This is where "characters" like caulaincourt come in, as he was tragically born without the part of his brain that controls shame/morals/chivalry/heterosexuality. A good TECHNIQUE for your -2 should get some laughs aswell as humiliating your victim. The most lowly type of -2 is executed by the crybaby types, all emotional with no funny.
Audience participation: link a classic -2, older the better. Best one wins a tour of urbane's snatch.
User Reviews
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2006-05-01 22:38:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There's no art to this.
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2006-05-01 22:24:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ARE U BLIND U DUMB INBRED SOB BASTARD ?????
LOOK CLOSELY AT KIETHES CROTHTAL AREA
HIS PEENER IS THE SIZE OF YER MOMMAS THIRD NIPPLE
FUCKI HATE STUPID PEOPLE
GO SOX AND BULLS WOO
CHUG CHUG CHUG
Submitted by Chillax (user info) at 2006-04-20 09:30:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
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Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-04-19 19:49:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
chillax I see that youre an easily impressed idiot, you should check out my posts.
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If I'm so easily impressed, what does that tell you about how good *this* was?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-02 22:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That post kicked so much ass it's not funny.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-04-02 21:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
(ala meth, uber's resident psychotic fantasist- every single one of his posts is a complete fabrication, he doesn't even know he's lying).
The best part is that people keep believing the things I say and egging me on! I'm still getting email addresses on my ex girlfriend revenge nude pictures post
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-04-02 21:25:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Besides, Decon has at least rated 700+ times.
Unlike you.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-03-23 22:11:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-03-23 21:38:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-03-23 21:13:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-03-22 18:44:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm too real for uber, people can't handle how real I am.
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that doesn't even make sense you joke of a human being
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-03-22 18:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm too real for uber, people can't handle how real I am.
Submitted by Brendon (user info) at 2006-03-21 18:23:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:14:26 (#)
Ranking: -2
-2s are gay
_______________
so this is your way of coming out the closet? like you even neeeded to, fag-o.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:14:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2s are gay
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-03-21 05:06:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
If you raped a girl who was deemed too fat and ugly by society to lose her virginity or be happy, is that a crime?
If you answered 'no' to the above question then Birmingham Minicabs wants you! Call +00 44 121 636 0756 to make your tommorow today!
Submitted by Some_Type_Of_Super (user info) at 2006-03-21 03:15:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I think he wants to vent a little here, then post some emo cutting pictures.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:01:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Reading this is like your nasal passages being assualted by the smell of another person taking a dump.
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-03-20 22:53:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hahaha. You don't get it.
Submitted by hactar (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:18:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my mistake. i didn't really mean to use 'erecting' and 'shlongy' in the same sentence. my bad, people.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:17:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
SHITY
ALTER
ALERT
Yes. There is an art to the -2.
No, you don't know it.
No, we won't teach it.
die.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:54:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Somebody already did that before I could get around to mixing up the plaster of paris, Barney.
Submitted by hactar (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:40:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
...shlongy is probably erecting a statue of himself somewhere. yuck
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:06:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
B@W
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-20 18:04:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:53:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
I think this is just SmackFuck again.
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Jeesus, I hope not - that fucker has been banned more than the Beeb.
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:53:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Review my post then Shlongy http://www.ubersite.com/m/85533
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:53:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I think this is just SmackFuck again.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:50:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
thanks for tellin me how that works. ever met a pirate before?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:50:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this the Brendon who just got out of Parris Island?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 17:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Genius Behind the Schlong (1066 hits)
Category: None
Rating: 1.67 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V) (Label this item) X
Labels:
Submitted by cexshun<uber.at.libbintech.com> (View user info) at 2004-09-23 12:13:57
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I was reading over my reviews, and came across a couple that were very creative and funny. Left by some guy named Schlongy. His posts are hardly readable, but most people don't understand him. His literary genius is not in his posts, but in his reviews. All I can say is, I'm glad he semi-enjoyed my post, so I was exempt from the wrath. So, I decided to compile my "Schlongy Hall of Fame" quotes. I see 1 other person did a schlongy tribute, but I thought this guy deserves a proper tribute. And come on people, even if you hate him, read the quotes as if it was just a collection of funny phrases. You're sure to get a chuckle.
Is he a troll? No. A troll puts no thought or effort into their actions and acts purely for the response they get. Schlongy goes beyond this. He puts more thought and effort into his reviews then many of the posts I've seen on here. This guy is a literary genius. So, without further ado, the "I Love Schlongy" SPT.
"People LIVE for my reviews...a positive review from Shlongy is like a private audience with the Pope.
I'm THAT fucking important."
"Well, Q, as the chat room expert on 'sucking', you would be qualified to express your opinion, no matter how misguided it may be.
You fucking pansyass."
"Would you rather have 200 lines of happy horseshit, or a 4-line masterpiece.
It's a USA TODAY/McDonald's fast-paced world out there, son. Get used to it."
"Fat Mike is the man. The fat man but the man nonetheless. "
"Ummmm, is -1.58 considered 'stellar'? "
"Suicide might be the best option based on that schedule. "
"Yeah, good idea not to comment Fetish.
Every time you 'speak', you give away the fact that you're a fucking imbecile.
PS> A homo imbecile at that."
"Apparently this room is full of cunts. Verrrrrry interesting... "
"If Loren's a cunt, at least she's a cunt with brains enough to know that this retard isn't funny."
"Whoopti-fucking-doo, Tardo. "
"I don't think it's very polite to give this retard +2's. "
"I've not witnessed gayness of this magnitude since....uhhhhhh...well, I suppose I never have.
Thankfully. "
"While I appreciate your 2, heater, I still don't find any amusement in your posts. I think they suck balls."
"It's a fucking SONG, you stupid fucks.
Don't despair. Next time, I'll add an attachment of a cartoon penis for you fucking wankers. "
"What's with all the hate? This must be "too deep" for the average Uber dipshit.
Oh, and there's no poop jokes or stick figure drawings with cartoon penises. My mistake. "
"Well, I guess you could always go fuck yourself, matey."
"Bet it made his day having an ignorant fucktard like you for a friend, eh? "
"You can't make up shit THIS ridiculous.
Well, I suppose you could...but who would want to?"
"Before you get too fucking elated, have another -2 for being a dork. "
"I've taken dumps that can write better than this. "
"I wish we had -3's for this fucking dipshit. "
"I kind of like the name Bart.
I named the dump I took this morning, Bart. "
"Well, in all fairness, in addition to boring, don't forget it sucks ass. "
"If you think she looks bad, wait until you get a load of her 'personality', or lackthereof."
"This response is dumber than the post itself, dipshit."
"Cancel that +2. I didn't realize the moron behind this incoherent rant was Koolmang, the dipshit."
"The next person who copmplains about one of my shitty posts should be forced- at gunpoint if necessary- to read this shit. "
"It's been confirmed by NASA. You're an ass eater. "
"This is so horrid you should win an award. "
"Today, I strive to be a kindler, gentler Shlongy.
But after reading dickSTAIN's stuff, that may be hard to maintain. God knows I'll try."
"The gayness never stops around here. "
"You are a loser, but an amzingly patient loser at that. Alright...I'll only -1 ya...how's that for a compromise?"
"It had the potential to suck worse than your last 4. "
"Keith seemed to have spelled his own name incorrectly."
"Please, never do this again.
And throw out your camera, while you're at it. "
"Why are you alive? "
"Well, I don't have my college ranking handy but I got through it and got to throw that stupid cap in the air, shitforbrains. "
"I give out +2's when they're deserved, gayboy...not because I want to suck some other guy's cock like you or I'm under the extremely false impression that if I give out enough +2's, maybe the chicks will dig me, dipshit."
"Why Dear God, oh why? "
"That one where he sticks a 30" samarai sword up his ass and gyrates like a dreidel. "
"Your number is the epitome of horseshit. "
"I didn't know you were gone, dicklick. "
"This happy horseshit is not improving with age."
"Good thing you have Uber friends to +2 you because quite frankly, that was fucking brutal."