The Story of Jennifer (1948 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: storyof...
Rating: 1.8 on 67 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spencer Thompson (View user info) at 2006-03-20 19:30:57 EST
The books were stacked on her desk as they were every morning: neatly organized, the widest at the bottom, the smallest at the top, forming a pyramid. Her small black purse sat beside the books, though she only ever opened it to get a clean tissue to wipe her nose with. She was short and frail, too small to fight back against bullies, but thankfully small enough for even maladjusted teenagers to pity. There her classmates watched her as she picked through her stack of books and finally settling on one she immediately buried her nose in.
Jennifer was definitely a mysterious girl in the class. She rarely talked, and few people knew anything about her. Only once had she ever mentioned about her past; how her father had been jumped by gang members only days after they'd moved into Pittsburgh, killing him for the thirty dollars in his wallet.
The other students were curious, simply put. The girl had been in their class for years, yet little was known about her. She was a senior, but her picture had never been in the yearbook.
Now she put down her book and picked up her small notepad, and in it jotted down a few lines. The books se carried changed, but the notepad never did. It was the same blue one with the hand-painted flowers. Some people said she wrote letters and notes to her dead father in it. Other people assumed it was poetry.
"Hey, so how long do you guys think it will take Jennifer to lose her virginity?" joked one of the students who was sitting in a group a few desks from Jennifer.
"Hey, just because she's shy doesn't mean she's a bad person, ok?" Ty shot back.
Ever since he'd first noticed her freshman year, Ty had been interested by her. Not sexually, he was gay and the entire school knew it, but he was still compelled by the air of mystery she commanded. He knew that one day he would engage her, they would talk, and slowly he would make her life cheerier. Maybe she'd stop reading so much and actually go out every once in awhile. Maybe she'd wear something nice for a change. Her spotless GPA might drop a point or two, but it would all be worth it.
Today was the day he would finally make good on that resolution. Ty stood up, and slowly walked over to Jennifer's desk, who didn't seem to notice him. He looked at the book she was reading, and saw that the title was three words long, none of which he knew. The book bore the school library's sticker, and was in awful shape. The cover was almost torn in half, and creased.
"That book's in pretty bad shape," Ty noted aloud, trying to get her attention. She stared at the pages, as if she hadn't even heard him.
"That book's in pretty bad shape," he said again, louder this time. Jennifer didn't look up from the book when she responded to Ty.
"Maybe the library could get some funding to buy new ones if you dumb niggers could take a fucking standardized test."
Ty stood there agape.
"Or if the government didn't have to pay for AIDS research so you goddamn faggots will stop giving it each other," she added.
Ty punched her in the face, but that didn't make her hate niggers or faggots any less.
User Reviews
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-29 23:18:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 again. this will always be one of my personal faves
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2006-03-25 15:44:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cause it's what Jesus would do.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-03-23 13:43:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THE best uberpost i've read today.
Submitted by Icedragon (user info) at 2006-03-21 23:49:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:51:46 (#)
Ranking: 1
You don't get a +2 cos I don't agree with punching women. He should have charmed her with his wit and made her feel so bad she killed herself.
---
Punching bigots in the face is great, though.
Submitted by Oxymoron (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:36:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Short and sweet. Mahvelous
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-21 14:39:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:39:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG!! A +1! OH NOES!!! I don't think it's a +2, ass. But here, just in case you decide to be all weepy.
---
It's too late to take it back. It has been done and the damage is irreversible.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:51:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You don't get a +2 cos I don't agree with punching women. He should have charmed her with his wit and made her feel so bad she killed herself.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:39:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG!! A +1! OH NOES!!! I don't think it's a +2, ass. But here, just in case you decide to be all weepy.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:15:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
RAAAAAA YOU GAVE ME A +1
NO LONGER FRIENDS
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-21 13:13:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yea right. As if you even care.
Bastard.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:48:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This made most heated? What? How?
Must be slow times on Uber.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:48:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:08:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:43:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait, did Tom just totally diss AHTT?
I thought we were like friends and stuff.
--------------
No, you idiot. Yours was the one worth reading.
---
Phew! For a minute there I thought we weren't friends anymore!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:08:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
and NOTHING is worth a few lost points on your GPA. nothing
Submitted by ruthless (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:59:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not what I expected at all.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:57:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i didnt really think this was that funny. surprising yes, funny? no.
Submitted by Astropath (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:50:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:37:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by NotSteve (user info) at 2006-03-21 11:23:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<high five>
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:28:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-03-21 10:26:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not sure if there is something i missed, but good stuff nonetheless.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:57:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bwhahahahahahahah and it's funny because that's my name.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:22:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:59:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:35:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was going to be the first serious spooner post I recall reading.
I was wrong.
Gold.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-03-21 09:08:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:43:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
Wait, did Tom just totally diss AHTT?
I thought we were like friends and stuff.
--------------
No, you idiot. Yours was the one worth reading.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-03-21 08:30:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:06:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
...didn't see THAT coming.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-03-21 07:37:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
comment
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-03-21 05:32:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
A couple of poorly written sentences in there but good for a chuckle.
Submitted by DizzyMissus (user info) at 2006-03-21 04:38:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
am still in a state of shock. excellent!
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-03-21 04:26:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the kind of post which keeps me coming back to Uber.
Fucking gold, dude.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2006-03-21 04:22:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn straight! Goddamn fags and niggers and kooks polluting our gene pool!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-21 03:55:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-03-21 03:52:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
There's nothing funnier than AIDS and bigotry.
-----------
What about a bigot who gives AIDS to someone during rape?
Rape makes EVERYTHING funnier.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2006-03-21 03:52:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
There's nothing funnier than AIDS and bigotry.
Submitted by Dacin (user info) at 2006-03-21 03:48:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another one because I read it again and was shocked all over again
Submitted by Dacin (user info) at 2006-03-21 03:48:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Do you see Uber?!?!?! This is why this website is going to hell! Because no one cares about serious writing anymore. They just want a quick laugh fix. That girl could have very serious problems that just are not addressed in this short blurb about her life! Maybe her father was first raped by some gay black guy before he was killed, but will we ever see that side of her? Noooooooooooo......Uber sucks!
(cries emo tears) This post was the most awesome thing I've read in years
Submitted by Some_Type_Of_Super (user info) at 2006-03-21 03:14:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was...
Interesting.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-03-21 02:14:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I ruined this for myself by jumping ahead and reading the last sentance.
I suck.
This doesn't.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-21 01:12:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have decided, by the way:
"There her classmates watched her as she picked through her stack of books and finally settling on one she immediately buried her nose in."
This is the worst sentence ever.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-21 01:12:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, mercy, this was hilarious.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-21 01:11:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Your roommates are goddamned stupid.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-03-21 01:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this out loud to my roommates.
They didn't get it.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-03-21 01:07:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+ FUCKING TWO
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:52:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
jayp...
I'm gay.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:51:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and you didn't rate my story, either.
I'm sorry I made you mad, baby.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-21 00:50:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, I don't know.
You're just not lighthearted today, and well...
Was it the gas?
Did that ruin the night?
I know John and Stacy said something to you...
I'm sorry.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-03-20 23:59:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
~
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-03-20 23:01:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha +2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-20 22:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Like what?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-03-20 22:44:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Spencer.
Dear.
Do you have anything you'd like to get off your chest?
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2006-03-20 22:43:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-03-20 22:39:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mouth slacks agape
i was not expecting that.
Submitted by cascade (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:37:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
it's always the quiet ones
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:19:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had to re-read the punchline to make sure I'd read correctly
Awesome
Submitted by Deconstruction (user info) at 2006-03-20 21:08:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Thompson you slay me.
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:48:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by psychodude98 (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:46:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
LOL
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:41:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*skeet*
Submitted by MrCoffee (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fucking...awesome
Submitted by a_palindrome (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:17:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahahahahahahaha awesome.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:06:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...didn't see THAT coming.
Submitted by IronRhino (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:01:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my god, wow. The punchline hit me like a ton of bricks. So good.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-20 20:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Did you get to fuck her?
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:59:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i wrote haikus today. does that make you happy? it makes me happy.
love,
wardy.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:35:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was going to be the first serious spooner post I recall reading.
I was wrong.
Gold.
Submitted by sharedferret (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:46:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by digdug (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:42:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:38:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've done a few relatively serious posts, but not many. They're there somewhere.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-20 19:35:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought this was going to be the first serious spooner post I recall reading.
I was wrong.
Gold.