FUPA: An Ode to Shlongy and Nitty (993 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.65 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (View user info) at 2006-03-21 12:00:54 EST
Ol' Shlongy, stumped by his assignment for FUPA,
Rang his sparring mate nitty, whilst he ate a chalupa,
And with queso in cheek, and tabasco on chin,
Asked him, "Whaf shawld wee dou abouf thiz mesz we're enn?"
Good nitty, ne'er one to back down from a fight,
And had kickboxed ten cops just the previous night,
Drove to Shlongy's (and stopped by McD's for some chow),
And said, "Do it with me!", to which Shlongy said, "How?"
To which nitty explained (after teabagging Herb),
"You can start with a noun, and I'll start with a verb,
Then we'll trade line by line until something takes shape,
And we'll beat all the users until they cry rape."
"But what shall we write about?" questioned The Shlong.
"My sole expertise deals with baseball and dong.
I don't know shit about any other good genus."
Nitty cried out, "Well, then, we can write about Penoz!"
Working quickly and deftly, the poem did prove great,
And was posted online not a moment too late.
Dual entries, uploaded one second apart,
They did cause such an uproar (and many a fart).
"YOU TWO CAN'T DO THAT!" cried the great Orgasmatron.
Threats of DQs, and byes, they kept lingering on,
And no one knew just what quite to do about this,
It was even more en'taining than Jewtoast's bris.
So, we ask you, great O-Man: what verdict have ye?
Will they both go to round two, or even to three?
Or will you give Shlongy and nitty the boot?
Either way, I still think that they're both kind of cute.
User Reviews
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-04-11 00:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85608#1893772
OMGZ PWNED
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-04-10 15:37:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's always funny to me how Shlongy is so aggressive yet whenever I see a picture of him I wonder "Shit does all that talking come out of a 5 foot 3 garden gnome?"
ahahhahaah
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-04-10 15:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-10 15:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fagaLICIOUS
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-22 14:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was such a great post.
It needs to be revived.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-24 16:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:44:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:14:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's always funny to me how Shlongy is so aggressive yet whenever I see a picture of him I wonder "Shit does all that talking come out of a 5 foot 3 garden gnome?"
======================================
"...
Holy fuck i can't stop laughing.
and that caption... "I like penoz." ahahaha hate to break it to ya little dude but, you are penoz.
One of my coworkers had to see what was making me laugh so hard and came over and I pointed and they said "Who's the happy little guy." and I fucking almost pee'd.
Oh dear lord.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you. I need a tissue.
Bookmarked. "
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Who's the happy little guy?" Too funny, Snark.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-22 08:54:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-22 00:05:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd never tell Mrs. Thorns. Big Al's is the only club I like that is anywhere near me.
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You mean you DON'T like Deja Vu down by you in Springfield? :p
(sarcasm intended)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-22 07:34:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
scourge - lots of women want to blow me...don't be bitter.
In fact, even some men - like you - seem to want to, too.
I'm not interested in that, but hey, a dork like you needs dreams, too, right?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-22 00:05:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd never tell Mrs. Thorns. Big Al's is the only club I like that is anywhere near me. So damn good that place is. A couple years back my association's annual golf outing was held on the same day that some group decided to have Big Al's dancers serve as caddies for their outing.
I am not a fan of golf, but seeing caddies in halter tops and thongs somehow made the game something to love that day.
Bubba- the use of the faux-word elephantitis makes me want to slap somebody. Glad to see someone else feels the same.
Sacrilicious- even talking to that piece of shit about any form of sexual activity makes me want to vomit. Seriously. Scroll up and look at him. I mean...just ...why? How come? Gah
Shlongy- you're a punk bitch. That's why I don't altogether hate you. Best I can offer.
If I missed anyone else it's because you don't matter. Deal with it.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 22:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 21:57:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and Shlongy darling- if I *were* to blow you, you'd forget about a lot more than that. You'd forget your own name.
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Oh...phew. I thought he was asking ME to blow him. Thanks for getting me off the hook.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-21 22:21:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:18:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Does that tmean you have elephantiasis of the scrote? That sucks.
_________________________________________________________
My God, My God!! Someone who understands there is no such word
as Elephantitis? Far out!!
By the way Shlong, you look pretty good for a youngster. . . :)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 21:57:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks, Thorny.
Oh, and Shlongy darling- if I *were* to blow you, you'd forget about a lot more than that. You'd forget your own name.
Submitted by PokeyPecker (user info) at 2006-03-21 20:41:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I just fucked a shoe!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 19:57:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 19:25:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry for being snappy this afternoon, Cap'n. This was a funny post. I thought the issue was already getting more attention than it needed, but clearly I also take uber too seriously when I'm sleep deprived and haven't rated every single entry, which I really wanted to do (and think I just did). And when I want pie, and have none. I blame ghola for that craving. This was good stuff. Forgive me?
--------------------------------------------------
'Tis okay. I was just trying to turn a fussy argument into a funny post, to draw attention away from the FUPA Round 1 post massacre. No harm done.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 19:54:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 17:05:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool
Wish me luck. I leave Chicago tonight at about 9 and get to try and drive home through this fucking mess. My wife said our yard has about five inches.
I hope I-55 turns to a sheet of ice! That's always fun to drive on.
I'll let you know when I'm up Peoria way next. Big Al's maybe?
===============================================================
Yeah...there's about 8 inches of the stuff in my yard, but the roads were cleared by this afternoon. I just had a hell of a time breaking my back shoveling the driveway and sidewalk. Damn snowblower broke down.
Big Al's...um, only if you don't tell Mrs. Thorns. :)
Submitted by SkinnyKenny (user info) at 2006-03-21 19:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brought a smile to my face after a long day of pounding the...
keyboard.
Yeah, the keyboard.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 19:32:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Blow me and I'll forget the whole thing.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 19:25:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry for being snappy this afternoon, Cap'n. This was a funny post. I thought the issue was already getting more attention than it needed, but clearly I also take uber too seriously when I'm sleep deprived and haven't rated every single entry, which I really wanted to do (and think I just did). And when I want pie, and have none. I blame ghola for that craving. This was good stuff. Forgive me?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 17:05:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool
Wish me luck. I leave Chicago tonight at about 9 and get to try and drive home through this fucking mess. My wife said our yard has about five inches.
I hope I-55 turns to a sheet of ice! That's always fun to drive on.
I'll let you know when I'm up Peoria way next. Big Al's maybe?
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:21:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was lying Captain. This was funny as hell.
I got the email, but I've been pretty busy since I got here.
I'm always up for a beer. I may be in the Peoria area in the next month or so, maybe then?
Problem is that I usually only travel during the work week and getting drinks on Tuesday or Wednesday isn't always the greatest idea. One leads to two and two leads to twenty and next thing you know the alarm clock is going off and you feel like you got kicked in the head. And maybe you did.
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Sure, sounds good. Just give me a holla on the mobile when you're in town.
One leads to two leads to twenty? How odd. I always thought five leads to three leads to ten leads to two leads to one. (Five beers...three glasses of wine...ten shots of everclear...two piles of vomit...one passed-out body...)
Being as I'm so bloody tall, I usually don't get kicked in the head, but I tend to get punched in the scrotum a lot.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was lying Captain. This was funny as hell.
I got the email, but I've been pretty busy since I got here.
I'm always up for a beer. I may be in the Peoria area in the next month or so, maybe then?
Problem is that I usually only travel during the work week and getting drinks on Tuesday or Wednesday isn't always the greatest idea. One leads to two and two leads to twenty and next thing you know the alarm clock is going off and you feel like you got kicked in the head. And maybe you did.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:18:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Does that tmean you have elephantiasis of the scrote? That sucks.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:13:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed my testicles off at this...figuratively speaking, of course.
Because if even one of them fell off, you'd feel the Earth shake all the way in Chicago.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:05:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not allowed to laugh at this. Shlongy is my new sensei and he would disapprove.
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Sure you are! C'mon!
By the way - did you get my e-mail last Friday about this past weekend's events in Chicago? Never heard back from you. Maybe we can traverse through the snow that was dumped in our area sometime soon and meet up for a few beers or something.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-21 16:05:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not allowed to laugh at this. Shlongy is my new sensei and he would disapprove.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:52:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:23:53 (#)
Ranking: 1
Thorny- would it have killed you to:
A) Let this drama play out on its own or
B) At least post it without a FUPA title since I have enough to rate already?
And to anyone interested, there are actual FUPA entries to be rated, too. Go see.
Fuck it..this was amusing. I'm still a little annoyed by it, though.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heh. Sorry. I thought it went without saying that this is NOT my official FUPA entry. I submitted that last week: http://www.ubersite.com/m/85303
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:51:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry Cap.
I'm done.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:50:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It said Toodles.
oh lord.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:50:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:49:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
snark- that sounds like a plan!
I look forward to you patting me on the head.
Well, actually, I really look forward to what would take place immediately after that.
You won't be, though.
Toodles!
====================
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
snark- that sounds like a plan!
I look forward to you patting me on the head.
Well, actually, I really look forward to what would take place immediately after that.
You won't be, though.
Toodles!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:47:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
whew.
Sorry, quitting smoking is fucking me up.
I'm freaking tall too, God I gotta meet him one day. I got a serious hankering to hand him a lolipop and pat him on the head.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:44:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:14:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's always funny to me how Shlongy is so aggressive yet whenever I see a picture of him I wonder "Shit does all that talking come out of a 5 foot 3 garden gnome?"
======================================
Ahahahaha holy shit aahahahahahaha oh god.
He's such a happy lil fella isn't he? ahahahahahahahahaa
NOW I get it. It's little man syndrome. Fuck, that explains EVERYTHING!
Ahahahahaha It's like he's a walking talking South Park character, like if Mr Hanky was covered in skin.
He doesn't look real. I wanna put him in an action pose and then run him over with my Bob the Builder dumptruck. I wanna poke him with a sharp stick to see if he even moves.
Holy fuck i can't stop laughing.
and that caption... "I like penoz." ahahaha hate to break it to ya little dude but, you are penoz.
One of my coworkers had to see what was making me laugh so hard and came over and I pointed and they said "Who's the happy little guy." and I fucking almost pee'd.
Oh dear lord.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you. I need a tissue.
Bookmarked.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:42:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
He's not short.
I'm 6'14"
(and dashingly handsome)
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:39:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Thorny your poems have proved highly exotic
And your thoughts about us simply homoerotic
I know what you're asking - you don't have to beg
It annoys me, like when your mom's humping my leg
You wish you were part of this exclusive pair
You said you'd do anything (but I won't go there)
So I'll give you the nod, you sweaty, bald scroto,
We promise to let you be in the next photo.
I hart Penoz
+2
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:24:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
THATS shlongy?!?!?!
no wonder he's so angry. i mean, look at him. i almost feel bad for giving him a hard time, i mean, look at him.
his wimpy little frame, that ginormous nose, the balding and his bowling shirt. it all screams group home retard...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:23:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Thorny- would it have killed you to:
A) Let this drama play out on its own or
B) At least post it without a FUPA title since I have enough to rate already?
And to anyone interested, there are actual FUPA entries to be rated, too. Go see.
Fuck it..this was amusing. I'm still a little annoyed by it, though.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:23:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this is excellent and i love you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:19:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone let High Voltage know that height does not have a lot to do with how far someone can knock someones' teeth flying across a bar room.
It's all technique and tempo.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:14:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's always funny to me how Shlongy is so aggressive yet whenever I see a picture of him I wonder "Shit does all that talking come out of a 5 foot 3 garden gnome?"
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post was soooo money!!
Shlong and Nitty: The happy couple.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:09:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
who's the tiny little old man in the picture? what a twirp.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is better than a lot of the official entries.
You have the gift, but my money would still be on O-Man to win.
What odds are you giving Shlong?
-Dave
Submitted by leilani (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:08:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HA HA OLD GUY
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:07:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
they're like two peeners in a pod...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:04:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
bauahauahauahah...I didn't even see the picture.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:03:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OK...this is a rare +2 in this gayass competition.
And it probably won't even count.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-21 12:02:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This contest is tainted.