Lets talk about something random...how about electrocution? (840 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.93 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Medley of Evil (The Anti-Emo) (View user info) at 2006-03-26 15:46:16 EST
To answer the future questions that will come up in my reviews:
1) This is a speech, and yes I will be giving this speech in front of people
2) This is a rough draft.
3) I know there aren't a lot of speeches on Ubersite.
4) This speech is supposed to me for entertainment, not to inform you on an actual topic. Be aware that any science in this speech is mostly made up.
5) Yeah it does get a little of topic.
I have been electrocuted three times in my life from an AC outlet. I have been shocked countless times from devices that run on DC power. And if you don't know the difference between AC and DC power hop on a computer and go visit www.acdc.com. Here you can find artist bios, all the latest news, tour info, contest announcements, and more! You can even order some ACDC merchandise. Most people have been electrocuted at least once. I'm sure everyone has experienced the most common form of electrocution. Static shock. When most people are electrocuted they wince with pain and then try to forget what just happened. I however have far too much free time and have actually delved deeper into this phenomenon. So today I will educate you on the various types of electric shocks, the pleasures of being electrocuted, and some fun, but not so popular, games that are centered on the idea of being electrocuted.
So like I said before I'm going to educate you on the various types of electrocution, but I lied. There are two forms of electrocution, but unfortunately one kills you. And coincidently the thought of someone dying isn't good in an entertainment speech. An entertainment speech is suppose too make you laugh, and apparently, laughing at the thought of someone dying somehow makes you a bad person, according to my mom.
So now that I have wasted the time I would normally talk about the electrocution that kills you with meaningless rambling, I will now inform about the second form of electrocution. The second form of electrocution is Microshock according to your mom whom I interviewed last night. Now in this type of electrocution the current only travels through the skin and muscle causing severe twitching and possibly burning. I'm not a bad person. So what if I enjoy eating authentic bear claws, and where am I going to get the fir I need for my new coat... a fir tree? Why can't animal just produce the items we need, like cows give us milk, why can't elephants just milk us some ivory? There's no such thing as animal abuse. For instance, baby seals won't remember being clubbed... their just babies, and even if they do...animals don't have souls. That last part is from my failed entertainment: I'll give you animal abuse, apparently it was too offensive. Hey, don't hate. How else am I going to come up with eight minutes? My speech is about electrocution.
So now that I have shocked you with knowledge. Huhh. Shocked. God I'm lame. We will now look at the pleasure of electric shock. I'm not lying, this time. I'm sure there really is some weirdo out there who enjoys getting electrocuted. Maybe kicking back in his easy chair, strapping electrodes to his nipples, and enjoying the tingling sensation of 220 volts flowing through his body. Gives him his kicks. I personally thought being electrocuted my three times was painful. The first time I was electrocuted I was actually burned. Now you expect me to tell you my story, that way I could connect to my audience emotionally through my pain, but that's not going to happen. If I told you how I electrocuted myself three times you would just think I was stupid and I would lose any creditability that I might have. So instead I will just tell you a story about someone else being electrocuted, and ruin their creditability.
According to a recent interview, okay so it's not that recent, we never talk to each other. In fact our only form of communication comes from sliding written messages under each other's bedroom door, sometimes even addressed, though with no stamp, because our bedrooms are right next to each other. Well in a reply to my letter: Dear to whom it may concern, I need a touching story for my speech on electrocution, my brother replied with the fact that he was he was once electrocuted when he stuck a penning in an outlet. And he was. I should know. I was there, egging him on.
"Put the penny in the outlet." "I don't wanna!" "You don't understand. These are special secret candy dispensers. If you put a penny in it candy comes out." "What kind of candy?" "Ahh. What kind of candy do you like?" "I like Starburst!" "What kind of Starburst is your favorite?" "I like the Red." "Well you're just in luck, because that's exactly what kind of Starburst are in that outlet. Go ahead put the penny in." I now realize that I am a terrible actor, even when portraying myself. Needless to say my brother shoved the penny in the outlet, little brothers all ways listen to their older brother. Stupid kids. Sadly the heat resulting in the spark blew his head clear off. President Lincoln's head not my brother, he ran to the sink to cool his finger by running cold water over his burn, yelling obscenities I had never known a four year old knew. But the scar from the burn didn't last nearly as long as the emotional one. Now he involuntarily cusses at every outlet he sees and he doesn't even know why? I will now proceed to moonwalk to my next point. Though it doesn't really have anything to do with electrocution, it does look kind of cool.
So this brings us to our most anticipated part of this speech. My most anticipated part. I'm sure you were fearing it. Sitting there thinking to yourself, "Games. Centered on electrocution! What kind of sicko would make a game out of electrocution? And why you would talk about something so crazy in a speech?" Well, to read your mind and answer your un-said questions, I'm that sicko, and second, I'm a very curious person. So now were going to learn about some fun, but for some reason, not so popular, games that are centered on being electrocuted. But keep in mind ladies and gentlemen that electrocution isn't a game or a clever joke. People can get seriously hurt or even die, and like I said before, a person dying isn't something to laugh at. You don't want to be a bad person do you? So with that potential liability covered lets look at our first electrocution game.
The first game is for a group of two to four players and is called Lightning Reaction. Each player grabs a handle that is connected to a base station. After choosing the number of players and the voltage (low or high), the start button is pressed in the middle of the base station. This start button begins to flash red while eerie music begins to play. After a random time, the music stops and the flashing red changes to a solid green. At this time players must press a button on their handle. The last player to press their button gets a small shock, or large, if it short-circuits, which it often does, because of crappy designing.
Now if this wasn't enough for all those freaks out their who love to be electrocuted, the makers of Lightning Reaction created a new version called "Lightning Reaction Extreme" in which there is an additional mode of play. In this additional mode, only the fastest player does not receive a shock. Sadly neither one of these games every caught on. Just as any another company would they tried every common marketing ploy, they even made one for the kids. Unfortunately, Lightning Reaction Junior was rid of the shock, but without the Lightning in Lightning Reaction the game loss its point.
Finally in a last futile attempt to get their game into the mainstream, the makers of Lightning Reaction decided to take electrocution to the same place music and movies have gone: everywhere you go. That's right they came out with Portable Lightning, an iPod attachment were users could shock themselves on the go. This wheel up here changes the voltage; you can even electrocute yourself while listening to your favorite music. It can store up to 10,000 volts. Apparently most Americans don't enjoy the sensation of an electric shock. I purchased the original game and played it with my brother, while wearing a pair of rubber gloves. Needless to say I enjoyed this game very much, although my brother tells me he can understand why the game was a failure. (Flip over poster and reveal message on the back: "O.J. didn't do it.")
Like I said before electrocution is a very serious topic and is not to be taken as a joke. That's why today I have educated you on the various forms of electrocution, the pleasures of electrocution, and some fun, but not so popular games that deal with receiving an electric shock. The only reason I even did this speech was to make my mom angry because she didn't think I could give a non-offensive speech on electrocution. So I hope that in my quest for parental defiance I have somehow, inadvertently, made you amused and even made you laugh, that is, if you're a bad person.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:37:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And I hope your head does too. You are the fags on Ubersite
that make me sick. This is a new author. Why can't you cum
rags be polite to a new uberuser. You are the reason so many
new authors leave ubersite in disgust.
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Which is a good thing, because the large majority of new users suck hard.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-03-27 06:36:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2006-03-26 21:10:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're an alter. Worse, you're bad at it.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-03-26 20:02:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That looks like something a bunch of lesbians would sit on. And feel eachothers' areoalas with salami sticks.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-26 19:38:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no problem. just trying to keep it real...
Submitted by evilmedley (user info) at 2006-03-26 19:18:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-26 19:02:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
assuming you're not sizzle's alter, you might want to read this before you post again. i just wrote it and it's a brilliant guide to assimilation here.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85835#1902200
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That was actually pretty funny, kind of enlightening, but funny. I actually heard most of that before. Sizzle's actually the one who told me about this website. We go to school together. I wanted to post one of my speeches on a website where I could get reviews and sizzle told me about ubersite. Thanks wardy.
Submitted by evilmedley (user info) at 2006-03-26 19:13:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-03-26 19:09:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
It'd be nice - to have a blowjob
-It would be nice- to have a blowjob.
It would be nice - to have a blowjob - it would be nice - to have a blowjob
It would be nice - to have a blowjob
it would be nice -to have a blow job, it would be nice to have a blowjob
It would be nice, to have a blowjob from medleyof evaaaaaaaaaal
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Ahhh...i guess the only way to answer that is...ahhh...no thank you...maybe
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-03-26 19:09:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It'd be nice - to have a blowjob
-It would be nice- to have a blowjob.
It would be nice - to have a blowjob - it would be nice - to have a blowjob
It would be nice - to have a blowjob
it would be nice -to have a blow job, it would be nice to have a blowjob
It would be nice, to have a blowjob from medleyof evaaaaaaaaaal
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-26 19:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
assuming you're not sizzle's alter, you might want to read this before you post again. i just wrote it and it's a brilliant guide to assimilation here.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85835#1902200
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:53:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by evilmedley (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:50:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all what is an alter? Second why did you give me
a -2 EchoBoxing.
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EchoBoxing gave you a -2 because he thought you were my alter.
An alter is just an alternate ubersite account. Some people have
two, some three, some seventeen. I have none.
Submitted by evilmedley (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:50:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:44:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
another sizzle alter
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First of all what is an alter? Second why did you give me
a -2 EchoBoxing.
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:48:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:44:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
another sizzle alter
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I don't have any alters. Okay, understood. Do you got it.
Just making sure.
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:46:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about COMountain
User id: 20414
Registered on or around: 2005-07-10 16:36:36
# Messages posted: 33
# Reviews written: 417
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 572
# Hits: 18823
Average rating of all messages: 1.07
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You have only been he three more months than I have.
I understand that in retrospect I not really that
old, but I was just giving advise.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:44:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
another sizzle alter
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:43:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:35:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:29:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:24:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
okay n00b - there ya go.
+2 for getting roused yet being able leave out insults or whining in your multiple responses
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thanks, I guess.
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Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:24:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
okay n00b - there ya go.
+2 for getting roused yet being able leave out insults or whining in your multiple responses.
Sizzle Mcasshat could learn a thing or two from you.
+======++++++++++++++++=================++++++++++++++++++++=================
WOAH WOAH WOAH... wait a tick...
Sizzle McTwat responded to me giving evilmedley a +2 for not whining?
You already made yourself (another) alter!?!?
Holy Fucking Christ... I'm dedicating the next 20 minutes to figuring out where you live.
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What the fuck are you talking about? I don't have any alters. I've tried, but I never get
the confirmation email. I thanked you for calling me a whinner. I was being sarcasitic. Don't be so quick to call someone an alter.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
sizzle mccuntslore: "as a pretty old user I advise..."
Everything you ever wanted to know about sizzlemctwizzle
User id: 22970
Registered on or around: 2005-10-31 16:41:15 <--------------------------
# Messages posted: 26
# Reviews written: 233
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 429
# Hits: 9805
Average rating of all messages: -1.14
Ummm...
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:38:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're right COMountain, I do often get angry and start throwing insults at who ever questions any of my post. As a pretty old user I advise evilmedley to not do make the same mistakes as me. Take any insult in your reviews lightly and answer any questions. I have tried not to get so protective of my post but it has been hard <emo tears> just don't make the same mistake.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:35:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:29:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:24:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
okay n00b - there ya go.
+2 for getting roused yet being able leave out insults or whining in your multiple responses
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thanks, I guess.
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Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:24:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
okay n00b - there ya go.
+2 for getting roused yet being able leave out insults or whining in your multiple responses.
Sizzle Mcasshat could learn a thing or two from you.
+======++++++++++++++++=================++++++++++++++++++++=================
WOAH WOAH WOAH... wait a tick...
Sizzle McTwat responded to me giving evilmedley a +2 for not whining?
You already made yourself (another) alter!?!?
Holy Fucking Christ... I'm dedicating the next 20 minutes to figuring out where you live.
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:24:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
okay n00b - there ya go.
+2 for getting roused yet being able leave out insults or whining in your multiple responses
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thanks, I guess.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:24:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
okay n00b - there ya go.
+2 for getting roused yet being able leave out insults or whining in your multiple responses.
Sizzle Mcasshat could learn a thing or two from you.
Submitted by evilmedley (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:18:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know...you lose a lot with out the visual aides... and the live preformance. The script of a speech doesn't really seem to do it justice. I have seen a few entertainment speech where I watch it and its funny, but when I read the script, it doesn't really seem that funny. I have know idea if that made any sense, maybe if you had seen a few other speeches in this genre.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 18:01:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
when is it ever entertaining??
Submitted by evilmedley (user info) at 2006-03-26 17:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 17:25:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
so let me get this srtaight:
you were assigned a speech - the topic of which had to fill 8 minutes.
you picked a topic you couldn't fill 3 minutes talking about.
so then you decided the remaining 5 minutes with shit, making sure to contradict statements made only seconds ealier, all while talking about people's moms.
am I about right?
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Yes, but I wasn't assigned the speech. I decided on electrocution because I thought it was random, and therefore unique. The speech is only meant for entertainment, not actually informing about a topic (As stated in my post).
Submitted by evilmedley (user info) at 2006-03-26 17:41:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-03-26 17:38:31 (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for effort, isn't the third pic down made of plastic? that must be the french version.
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Ha, actually its the junior version.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-03-26 17:38:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for effort, isn't the third pic down made of plastic? that must be the french version.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 17:25:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by evilmedley (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:51:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:47:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
I realize the "author" of this said it'd get off topic, but this incoherent piece of shit jumps around more than a mexican just set on fire by the border patrol.
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Yeah I know, but it was hard to say on the topic of electrocution for a speech and not have it be TOO offensive. I apologize if you got lost in my rambling.
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so let me get this srtaight:
you were assigned a speech - the topic of which had to fill 8 minutes.
you picked a topic you couldn't fill 3 minutes talking about.
so then you decided the remaining 5 minutes with shit, making sure to contradict statements made only seconds ealier, all while talking about people's moms.
am I about right?
Submitted by evilmedley (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:51:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:47:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
I realize the "author" of this said it'd get off topic, but this incoherent piece of shit jumps around more than a mexican just set on fire by the border patrol.
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Yeah I know, but it was hard to say on the topic of electrocution for a speech and not have it be TOO offensive. I apologize if you got lost in my rambling.
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:48:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:30:49 (#)
Ranking: -2
My nose just exploded.
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And I hope your head does too. You are the fags on Ubersite
that make me sick. This is a new author. Why can't you cum
rags be polite to a new uberuser. You are the reason so many
new authors leave ubersite in disgust.
On behalf of Ubersite I welcome you Medley of Evil.
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:47:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:14:35 (#)
Ranking: -2
Too bad none of those three times killed you.
Anyone else noticing a sudden influx of new "authors" recently?
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Yup.
Sizzle McAssFaceTwizzle and burt mainus immedaitely come to mind...
BTW
I realize the "author" of this said it'd get off topic, but this incoherent piece of shit jumps around more than a mexican just set on fire by the border patrol.
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:30:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
My nose just exploded.
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:16:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck both of them
Submitted by sizzlemctwizzle (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:15:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was pretty good.
Fuck this guy
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Submitted by ConorJS (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:14:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Too bad none of those three times killed you.
Anyone else noticing a sudden influx of new "authors" recently?
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-03-26 16:07:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
1) This sucks
2) Ubersite is not a place for rough drafts
3) You suck
Don't ever post again until you figure out how this site works.