No title (781 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesLabels: Fictional
Rating: 1.96 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hourman (View user info) at 2006-03-27 05:44:33 EST
The phones rang again; they always ring, especially when something important is happening. Like someone on the other side of the office is having a private moment which your desperate to know.
Glancing around at all the people at the desks make me realise just how corporate I have become. The gaunt expressions on the faces of my co-workers (I would say colleagues but that term implies camaraderie) hang with the despair of another nine hours of hell. How did I end up here?
The phone rings again but a quick press of the 'divert' button will sort out that problem. I diffuse responsibility in all aspects of my life. I put so much pressure on my ex wife that she had no choice but to leave me. Her life was difficult enough looking after my two kids without an older, bigger, more ugly third one like me. How could I have let her go?
Another phone call, another irate customer who doesn't understand how complex my job is. It isn't, but if I say that I seem more important and don't have such a feeling of despair when I hear the term call centre jockey. I ride the calls all daylong and have my ears pummelled from all angles by all manner of asshole customers. Why didn't I get educated?
I never paid attention in school and never participated in class, in fact the lesson I was best in was English because the teacher was such a stoner you couldn't give a wrong answer. Everything had a deeper more meaningful purpose. Even when I didn't hand in assignments I could never just say 'I couldn't be bothered' it was always something like 'my inner drive was lacking last night sir, probably due to severe childhood trauma. I will get it for you as soon as my self worth is restored.' That would get me a few weeks to mess around. God I wish I had studied harder.
I can see the fat man in the corner again, regaling the new intern with one of his countless stories about something he did once more and much better than you. His chin reminds of a fat kid eating jelly, I don't know why, it just does. I think it's the movement his chin makes, I don't trust it...I don't trust fat people either. Fat people hate me, probably because I'm an intolerant jackass who deserves to get his head kicked in. I wish I took better care of myself.
I eat what I want, but i'm one of those people who manages to stay thin but survive on Burger King for weeks straight, the only thing that suffers there is my wallet. I liked to run, then Mr Marlborough introduced himself and now running for the bus seems like a god damned marathon. I wish I saw my parents more.
My parents disowned me the first- Hello service department, how can I help? No we don't. No. Nope. Yeah. Yeah. No, okay? Thanks bye- sorry about that. Any way, my parents disowned me when they found me smoking some gear whilst I was pilled of my face. I never felt so bad as when my mother uttered the immortal parental words ' I'm not angry, I'm just very disappointed.' That phrase is one of the most painful things a parent can say. I remember feeling like the last of a species, the only person in the world who felt that pain. I wish they were here.
The laughing woman is pretending to work again. I hate her more than anyone here. Not because she's a bad person, but because of her hair. It rises up like a cloud of sulphur from the roots of her over poisoned hair. Some people are worth it but she is not. I can imagine the poor customers hanging themselves after having her repeat the same boring point over and over again. At least the fat man works.
What do I have? I have nothing. What am I? I am nothing. Who am I? I am a drone, a machine pumped out by a society intent on success. Where money rules and morals drool. I stare into my computer everyday to search for things I don't care about. I go to sleep at night to get to work the next day. I eat because it kills the time between going to work and sleeping. I have no drive but money and love but wealth. However I am not sad because you make your own happiness. I find happiness in my despair because I know that I am what I am, and I never lie to myself. No matter what the situation I can always say I was myself. Even though I hate my life, I love myself.
SILENCE
'Listen pal, do you want me to talk dirty or not? I'm a whore not a fucking councillor.'
'Sorry, got lost in myself there, my mobile bill is going to-' CLICK
That's another session over for the day. Maybe next time I will talk more about my childhood. I always find hookers are more honest than some moron councillor. They don't beat around the bush, no pun; they just get to the point. I like that in a person. I like that in me.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-06 07:18:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-05 09:54:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
I am going to rate every one of your posts with a +2 without reading them.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-04-28 08:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-03-27 14:11:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup. I know that feeling
*sigh*
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 13:54:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad.
This was better:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85873
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-03-27 13:45:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
didn't suck one bit.
Submitted by MichelleNJ (user info) at 2006-03-27 10:08:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very interesting.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-03-27 10:04:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-27 09:40:19 (#)
Ranking: 2
your writing was par, reminds me of chuck (content/feel not style)
however:
"What do I have? I have nothing. What am I? I am nothing. Who am I? I am a drone, a machine pumped out by a society intent on success. Where money rules and morals drool. I stare into my computer everyday to search for things I don't care about. I go to sleep at night to get to work the next day. I eat because it kills the time between going to work and sleeping. I have no drive but money and love but wealth. However I am not sad because you make your own happiness. I find happiness in my despair because I know that I am what I am, and I never lie to myself. No matter what the situation I can always say I was myself. Even though I hate my life, I love myself."
made me laugh. maybe it's what you were going for, but if you were serious i'd just like to say: The third to last sentence is in conflict with the last sentence, and the last sentence is in conflict with its self.
-----------------------------------------------
Yeah basically these days i think its impossible not to be a hypocrite or at least talk philisophical bollocks. Everyone i speak to has some brilliantly 'new' (*sigh) philosophy which is so unique and complex that my feeble mind couldn't possibly understand it. Anyway back to the point its meant to be humerous, but black humour. For the above reason. How many people do you know who rip on people for traits that they usually posses themselves but then go on to say how great they are. I encouter a fair bit. Anyway im going to write a much happier version tommorrow, mainly because this is not a sad piece, just an observation in a self analytical society...(see what i mean about philisophical bollocks. Im being hypocritical by even stating that....and this....oh crap.) lol. anyway thanks for the good feedback guys and even though all my older posts got shit reviews this one has encouraged me to keep trying, so thank you.
Ps you bastard your the only one not to give a +2 :D im joking :D
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-27 09:40:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
solid 1.5
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-27 09:40:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your writing was par, reminds me of chuck (content/feel not style)
however:
"What do I have? I have nothing. What am I? I am nothing. Who am I? I am a drone, a machine pumped out by a society intent on success. Where money rules and morals drool. I stare into my computer everyday to search for things I don't care about. I go to sleep at night to get to work the next day. I eat because it kills the time between going to work and sleeping. I have no drive but money and love but wealth. However I am not sad because you make your own happiness. I find happiness in my despair because I know that I am what I am, and I never lie to myself. No matter what the situation I can always say I was myself. Even though I hate my life, I love myself."
made me laugh. maybe it's what you were going for, but if you were serious i'd just like to say: The third to last sentence is in conflict with the last sentence, and the last sentence is in conflict with its self.
Submitted by Leonfc (user info) at 2006-03-27 09:13:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good work!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-27 08:14:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Alright, now this I liked.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-03-27 06:59:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-27 05:46:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oddly entrancing.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-03-27 06:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very Good.
The only bit that was weird was...
"My parents disowned me the first- Hello service department, how can I help? No we don't. No. Nope. Yeah. Yeah. No, okay? Thanks bye- sorry about that. Any way, my parents disowned me when they found me smoking some gear whilst I was pilled of my face. I never felt so bad as when my mother uttered the immortal parental words ' I'm not angry, I'm just very disappointed.' That phrase is one of the most painful things a parent can say. I remember feeling like the last of a species, the only person in the world who felt that pain. I wish they were here."
-----
I had to read this about 3 times before I realised what was going on.
Maybe that says more about me than it does about you.
-Dave
Submitted by Goneril (user info) at 2006-03-27 06:08:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jimmo (user info) at 2006-03-27 06:00:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Always good to know that someone is feeling worse than me, thanks.
Fat people can be weird hateful things, that's their problem, don't make it yours.
Cheer up it's spring!
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2006-03-27 05:51:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You, Sir, don't suck today.
Bravo.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-27 05:46:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oddly entrancing.