Paste: It's What's For Dinner (1051 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.66 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by cellar_door (View user info) at 2003-06-07 18:01:43 EDT
Remember the days when slurping down some Elmer's Glue (put like that...gross!) was our only vice? We were told, "Don't do it!" So we did. Simple math really. If you believe the Bible, we are all children of Adam, and from the beggining he and his mistress Eve hooked us up with that deep-rooted urge to do what we're not supposed to do. "Don't pick your nose," "Don't masturbate," "Don't do drugs."
Aha! "Don't do drugs." In sixth grade we had D.A.R.E. classes from our local Officer Joe Blow. He taught us all about drugs and alcohol. Before then I had a very vague idea of some of the lesser drugs, from friends' older brothers and my uncles. But Officer Joe Blow explained everything to me. Then he said "Just say no." You know what happened, of course. We went to my friend's older brother and got some weed. And it was downhill from there.
I've given up drugs, but boy oh boy, plenty of other vices were waiting around the corner. "Don't impulse buy," "Don't use your work computer for play," "Don't eat too much." How I yearn for the days of the simple vices. Somebody tell me, "Don't throw the ball in the house." Somebody tell me, "Don't stay out too late." Better yet, somebody tell me, "Don't get rid of your vices." Maybe then I'll get my shit together. If not, there's always paste.
User Reviews
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-03-25 01:50:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kale (user info) at 2004-03-23 21:47:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was funny
Submitted by lawryde (user info) at 2004-03-23 21:25:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm a mother fucking jack hammer
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-06-08 20:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The DARE officer at my school was this big black guy. He made a deal with us: if we answered 5 questions correctly about DARE(or whatever the hell he talked about) before we got 5 wrong he would buy every student anything in the DARE catalog (hats, shirts, etc.) Hehe, big mistake. I got up there, this was before I discovered the wonders of pot when I used to be a straight A student, answered 5 straight and officer chuckles ended up spending almost 700 bucks on us. I still have DARE mug I got.
Submitted by catscradle (user info) at 2003-06-08 19:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I ate Playdo.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-06-08 19:45:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
good stuff. i ate play-dough. and DARE did nothing but make me want to smoke weed.
Submitted by qmakowski (user info) at 2003-06-08 19:38:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
True...
All DARE did for me is want to experiment. They said it was "bad" and gave some reasons, but mostly talked about effect. Mmmmm... effect... Anyways, some programs are BS. All we should do is say "Drugs kill you" to our kids and dont tell them anything else. This way they seem misterious and deadly. That or compare them to household products that can kill you. It just might work...
Submitted by crisko (user info) at 2003-06-07 23:42:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Somewhat amusing.
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-06-07 23:42:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i ate paste and candles that smelled good
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-06-07 20:35:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Seriously, did people really eat paste? Who ate paste, honestly? Am I missing out?
Submitted by BerZerK (user info) at 2003-06-07 19:00:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it.
Congrats, I dont say that often.
-BerZ
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2003-06-07 18:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Joe Blow, what a cool officer.
Mine was Deputy Blackwell. What a douche...
Oh, and don't take LSD and take a laxative within the same hour.
Submitted by cellar_door (user info) at 2003-06-07 18:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha...don't insult me! I going out of my gord here at work....
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2003-06-07 18:22:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't Die.
Submitted by dasteve (user info) at 2003-06-07 18:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't stop posting.
Submitted by SantonioSpur (user info) at 2003-06-07 18:06:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't shave the cat and paint it orange... green suits it better