Nitty takes on Shlongy takes on Nitty, from behind (FUPA REMIX) (815 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.35 on 40 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GANK (View user info) at 2006-03-27 16:11:49 EST
The inspired posts, remixed:
http://www2.ubersite.com/m/85571
http://www2.ubersite.com/m/85572 .
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When asked to write a cum-rag list of things that I do hate
A certain duo comes to mind. They're Nit & Shlong. They date.
And thinking back upon the gayest dudes to write on Uber
It's those two Gay-shining stars, with Penoz in each others' pooper
Penis, you say, a far more normal name to name a dick
Alas, it was a word too gay, and so they drew a line with stick
And though they tried to doubt the love of Penis from their birth
The Shlong smoked Nit and Nit was hindered by the Shlongy's girth
Butt cracks and rolls of tongue did well to prove each salad tossed
Thus, Penis turned to 'Penoz' when teh ghey menz line was crossed
Adulthood filled with taunts and tears - the two men pleased each other
Their outlook changed for good upon the finding of their lover
Penoz was born a lie of lies, to hide the pillow-biting
Nit's thrust was pure, his shaft was brown, Shlong's holes were all-inviting
From daybreak till the stars came out, he worked Shlong's tiny frame
The only part he loved? When the Shlongy yelled his name.
There were cries of 'lick the ball' when Shlongy couldn't fit
His batting shaft into the unaccepting holes of Nit
There were some claps, and shouts, at the start of Nitty singing
And Shlong joined in upon entrance with "Goatse is beginning"
The two men wanted bigger dicks, and not-at-all for bitches
If Penoz didn't grow with pills, they'd cut, then add, then stitch it
For if they both were still too small they'd call the doc a liar
And cries would come from all around to "Make the Goatse wider"
And God forbid they both should play a little left of straight
Their butts would clench, their shafts would throb, and smiles would light their face
"But you've just took it way too far", was everyone's retort
And yet, instead, they'd look and say that "Goatse is still short!"
The word Penoz would signify to all the lovers' flame
Their shafts, like anyone's, would tire. Joy was theirs to name
But no one called them tired, after dicks were limp and weak
All they gasped after they puked was "Goatse is complete."
All ghey menz know very well that fisting brings the money
And though they opened gaping holes they didn't find it funny
For if they blistered other men with screws and bolts and drills
They would always default to "It's you that I love still!"
For twenty years the taunts rolled on, 'til Nit and Shlongy quit.
They were rushed to hospitals, 'cause neither one could shit.
Their grunts and sweat and tries ignored, and no poop was exhuding.
All the doc could muster was "Your colons are protruding."
Their life they spent in infamy with pain all in their tooter
They registered anonymous, with keyboard and computer
And lived new life, reviewed with spite, with Internet as suitor
Their login names: Shlongy, Nitty; both of them on Über.
User Reviews
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:44:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
He told me he got it from you.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:42:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You have ONE fan in Maddog - but please bear in mind, that your one fan has a steaming case of the gay AIDS.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:38:36 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
See Gank, the public has spoken.
You
Lose
There will be some lovely parting gifts on your way out. You'll find Captain Thorns waiting with a flaming case of herpes.
Submitted by Maddog (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:30:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Why rag on Nitty? I like reading his stuff. One of the better posters on this site. Schlongy on the other hand is the Gene Siskel of Ubersite. Except Gene Siskel is dead.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:29:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:54:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:48:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
I know a lot about 'abortions' and I'm pretty sure you're what they call in the industry "A failed attempt".
---------------------
See, Sphaggy knows everything, I want to be like him. Hell, he's probably lost interest in my inferior intellect already. Oh well, back to being a gutless, alter retard.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:19:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Glad this post worked out so well for you.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-03-27 23:24:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-27 22:50:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-25 09:00:23 (#)
Ranking: -2
Lick my brownest eye.
---------------------
^
|
|
This is one of many reasons I re-wrote their gay-to-begin-with post. I don't care if you hate me. Your entry was damn near perfect.
=============================
Thanks, man. I don't hate you, you know, I just don't think it's necessary to add to the hate club of Shlongy. You did do a better job of it than most, I will admit.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-03-27 22:01:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you're going to go through the trouble to write a poem as a testament to your hatred of someone (particularly someone with as much hatred directed their way as Shlongy) it would be better to actually write something that doesn't make me hate you. That's counterproductive.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:57:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you do your research, you'll find that that list omits approximately 70 additional Shlongy tribute posts.
Too many for my hard drive to hold.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:50:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, you forgot about Capt Thorns' most recent:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85608 (An Ode to Shlongy and Nitty).
What's your point?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:48:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
FILENAME!
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:47:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
DISCLAIMER: This post is gay on purpose.
It is a response to a POEM written TOGETHER by two dudes who are "golf buddies". And the POEM is full of innuendo about swinging penis, penis with 2 balls, sore penis, I mean are you fucking kidding me, sore penis?
I thought it was pretty gay. And the bit at the end about Kooter is just a deception. Shlongy said it himself, he must be the Master of Deception, tricking his wife for 20 years.
Nitty = Heath Ledger &
Shlongy = Jake Whats-His-Name.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:31:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Just get in line with the rest of them, GANKIE.
And this is only through September, 2005.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/40830 I'm calling you out Shlongy!!!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/43979 Shlongy, my sister doesn't want you sending pics of yourself anymore.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/44883 In response to Shlongy: "It was around midnight..." Continued.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45203 For Shlongy, and anyone else who is running out of ideas.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48191 Shlongy, I'm Sorry You Had To Hear it Like This, But I Raped your Dad in the Face and Ass.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49365 Bart and Shlongy Raped a Poor African 5-Year-old Boy
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51458 Shlongy
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51458 Shlongy / NSFW!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51602 shlongy is a pedophile!! he wants to rape me!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52671 Happy Thanksgiving and picture for Shlongy
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52813 Mrs Shlongy
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53033 Shlongy Camwhore see it here first.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53084 Shlongy has driven me out of Ubersite. Goodbye you fucknuts
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53551 I am Going to Murder Shlongy
http://www.ubersite.com/m/53736 Merry Christmas to All. TACOS FOR EVERYONE!!! (...Except Shlongy)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54204 Where's SHLONGY?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54583 Team Shlongy (golf)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54787 In Response To SHLONGY"S comment on his last post.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54867 Uberpoll #5487215, WARNING:SHITPOST : MNSFW : NOT ABOUT SHLONGY
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55167 Shlongy. The man, the myth.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55238 Shlongy Got Plastered and Killed a Retard
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55256 shlongy didn't get his donkey punch for xmas
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55839 Shlongy Drinkin a 40 oz.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56225 Shlongy, Davros and WhatTheHell observe TigerLilly test-pilot new vibrator suit circa yesterday
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56711 Do you detest Shlongy?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57907 Awww Shlongy can't post a pic. -CAMWHORE
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59687 Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-15 13:23:53 (#)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59691 Shlongy Apology
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59693 Shlongy finally finds the answer he's been searching for
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59695 They call me MR. Shlongy.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60067 Exclusive Mrs. Shlongy picture here
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60073 The Uber Insider - The Truth About Mrs. Shlongy
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60509 Say It Isn't So...Shlongy...Leaving Uber??
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61044 The REAL Shlongy (complete with insider information and pictures)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61340 I hired a detective to take a photo of Shlongy at his new job...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/62003 Gee, I Wonder If Shlongy Will Like This One
http://www.ubersite.com/m/62933 Shlongy tricked me into having this monster hangover
http://www.ubersite.com/m/62942 Not Animal-Friendly: The Brakefield Chronicles Vol. 7 (for Shlongy)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63421 Re: Tom's Balloon Ass Getting Penetrated By Shlongy
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63490 Anything and Everything About Shlongy - A Masterpiece
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64229 I Challenge Shlongy to a rip battle in Front of Everyone! Lets see him back down/ lose badly
http://www.ubersite.com/m/42133 I strongly dislike SCHLONGY
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45800 Tribute to Schlongy
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48254 Schlongy is an asshole
http://www.ubersite.com/m/48301 Schlongy is a Cool Cat
http://www.ubersite.com/m/49278 SCHLONGY GETS A DEVOTION POSt!!!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/52354 A question for homeowners and a prime Monday Morning opportunity for schlongy et al to get that first loki -2ing of the week out of the way so they can get on with sucking at life
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54082 Schlongy says....
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54083 Schlongy says....
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55290 Schlongy cock Porsche NSFW!@#$#@$@#*%
http://www.ubersite.com/m/55295 What I got Schlongy for Xmas
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57566 The elusive Schlongy finally caught on camera!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60850 Adamdidit2u vs. Schlongy
http://www.ubersite.com/m/63805 I believe I Image Googled Schlongy....
http://www.ubersite.com/m/45899 The Genius Behind the Schlong
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51786 SHLONGYS real CAMWHORE
http://www.ubersite.com/m/54996 I found this book in my room, and I thought of Shlongy's mom
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56767 Shlongy's TRUE IDENTITY revealed
http://www.ubersite.com/m/56838 Bring back Shlongy's gay lover - and Random Joe!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/57957 Shlongy's Epiphany (Part 1)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60537 The truth about Shlongy's Departure from Uber!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/64226 Shlongy's Insult Repertoire
Retard.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:12:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:00:19 (#)
Ranking: -2
If there was any doubt at all that you were a [genius] - well this confirms it.
Now I must go for the day.
Wardy, Shlong, [my house later, bring extra lube].
Gank, you're [the mother-fuckin man]. Good luck with all of THAT.
------------------
You should've stayed with your first instinct: +2.
Submitted by Confuzitron (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:09:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
ghey
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:08:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I must be the master of deception because I've been with the same really hot broad for over 20 years, and I gotta believe, if I wasn't giving her sufficient hot beef injections on a regular basis, no matter how much dough I have, she'd be out the door...
Probably looking for GANK, I guess. He sounds cool.
Well, except for the blatant homosexuality thing.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:01:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
baaaazzzzzzzzzzzinnnng....
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 17:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If there was any doubt at all that you were a loser - well this confirms it.
Now I must go for the day.
Wardy, Shlong, it's been fun.
Gank, you're a 14-carat fairy. Good luck with all of THAT.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:58:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:57:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah don't forget Wardy.
He's gay, too.
Right, muffin?
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:57:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OMG LIEK UR PARENTHASEES ARE SOOO KEWL!!!
THAT MUST B WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN TO SAY RIGHT!!!
I GET IT!!!
(YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG)
bigoted comment
bigoted comment
weepweepweepejaculate
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:57:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 because you forgot about me.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:54:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:48:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
I [know a lot about] 'gay' [and] I'm pretty sure [Shlongy & Nitty are].
---------------------
See, Sphaggy agrees, and he would know. Hell, he's probably one of your alters.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:52:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:41:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
I find 'great lyricists in hip hop' rather [Sexy].
[Especially the black ones]?
Go get me [some brown eye] and a [big pork sausage], [bigoted comment].
---------------------
I know, I know, you're richer than me, and tougher than me, and [insert insecure posturing].
Gay men usually are fairly successful, so that's no surprise.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You do realize that no one gives a shit about you or this post, right?
I mean, 40 minutes, and only me and Shlong have reviewed.
You should think about a new line of work. I hear sanitation has its perks.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:48:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't know much about 'gay' but I'm pretty sure this is it.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:47:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, I find it rather masculine.
But when we pull to the clubhouse after 18 and you have to polish my irons, I promise to tip you well.
But my shoes are fine leather. I want those creamed, and buffed with a fine chamois. Now chop chop.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:45:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:31:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, this was kind of funny, in a " [it really is true, we like dick] " kind of way.
NICELY DONE, [GENIUS]!
Uber allows for fags like [us] to [be gay & free], GANK, just like the rest of [ghey menz].
------------
Did anyone else think it was slightly GAY that they wrote a poem and posted it together?
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:41:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I find 'great lyricists in hip hop' rather Oxymoronic.
Hip hop?
Go get me a bean pie and a pork chop sandwich, nig.
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:40:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rhyming is defined as a "correspondence of sounds". It doesn't have to be exact, like some fucking third-grader. Look at any of the great lyricists in hip-hop.
They don't go all, "I was on my boat, and had a fur coat."
Neither of you even know how you want to rate this. You're waiting for the other one to settle in, so you can copy each other, like you always do.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:39:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I bet you thought this would be a lot more popular, didn't you you little cumrag.
Ahahahahahaha. Me and Shlong will give you a few pity replies.
(all will be -2s. 'Cause this blows moose cock)
Good idea. Bad execution. Kinda like Duke vs. LSU
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:37:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
OK...if you say so. Done. -2.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:35:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I gave it a +2 for the title alone. See my first review.
Then I read this steaming pile of cow dung and it sucks.
It's terrible.
It's horrible.
I mean, it's a GREAT idea, but Sally is too fucking illiterate to simply rhyme words together.
I feel bad for the kid.
It's like when you see a worm on the sidewalk after it rains. You know it's fucked, and you feel bad, but it's there due to its own stupidity.
Next time you leave, Gank, stay gone.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:32:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
"Straight/face" ?
"Weak/complete" ?
"Bitches/Stitch it" ?
Holy fuck, if you're gonna mock my masterpiece try to sound a little less like a retard.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:31:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, this was kind of funny, in a "knowing WAYYYY too much about homosexuality" kind of way.
NICELY DONE, CUMSTEEN!
Uber allows for fags like you to contribute, GANK, just like the rest of us.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:30:19 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Shlong, I'll lay you 3-1 odds this fucker's 19 years old. Tops.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:29:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
DON RICKLES IS IN DA HOUZE!!! ROFLCOPTERLOXXXR!!!$%&*$@#!
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:29:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
'singing' and 'beginning' don't rhyme.
Not even close
Try Hooked on Phonics. It worked for me.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:28:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This might be the first post of yours that actually gets some attention.
Thanks to Shlong and I, of course.
Way to be original, crotchstain.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-27 16:25:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
B@W