FUPA Round 2: Kingfisher (743 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: fupa
Rating: 1.44 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-03-27 22:29:54 EST
The Maimed King, the Rich Fisher slain,
Run through from thigh to thigh and
Reclined upon a seat beside the fire,
Waits for a word to bring revival
And a question to put his suffering
To shame.
Diminished by long years spent idle
By burning wood and moving stream
He sits. He waits. He fishes with
Hook and string and with language,
A lure below the calm, forgetful
Face of the river, a snare within
The gentle tendencies of speech,
Glammer in them both, glint and flash
Catching eyes that would think the
Light or line mere plays of life,
Natural inclinations of the mortal trade
(For see how sunlight pierces so the
Water, and how the words pour out from
Bent tongues); hook and line and linéd
Hook, reel and tongue, commanded by
The wounded lord and cast to Man past
And Man future, for in each is a theatre
Of his undoing. He is Lug, he is Bron,
He is nameless, and he is timeless still.
Fish or man, the fisherman cares not
For it's the drawing that's the game,
A knot tied tight upon the barb,
An invitation shouted from the riverbank,
A ripple, a meal of many courses,
The procession of the grail, an arc
Of twisting water, a bob, a bow,
The long throw, the short pour,
The panic, the courtesy;
Man and fish predictable in their every
Behavior, the expectations of the years
Fated to play out with a consistency
Unmatched by even the most steadfast tolling
Bell: one too foolish to die, unflinching,
In silence, the other too concerned with
Himself to break the silence with a word.
He sits resigned to watch the days burn
By, the hours popping like dry wood in
A pyre, a little lesser than before, a
Little slower and wiser than he of the
Previous morning, never walking the very
Ground he is tied to, instead carried
As flowers to a grave by servants well
Compensated for their troubles and time,
Time ticking all around them as they toil,
Quickening their eventual demise and
Coursing towards their graves, the empty
Jaws of the earth that trap dead air
Between their lips, eroding as he erodes,
Declining as he declines, land and king
Bound by something greater than bond,
Oath or tether, greater than history or
The will of God; so, too, his castle's
Servants weakened as the mountainside
Is weakened, scarred as the clay of the
Hills is scarred by element and claw,
Here one carries a candelabra, here another,
Here the man with the bleeding lance,
Here the grailkeeper, the lady in white,
Crossing through the chamber with a train
Of ladies in wait, preparing to feed the
Father.
Here sits the wounded lord upon a seat
Of oak and bone, the sliver of life and death,
Dying and alive, dying to live again, dying
As the vines below the water and the children
That walk his land; denied by guide and groom
And guest the very inquisition that would save
His life, the same curiosity that damned Man
Before would save king and country if but
Indulged. He sits, he waits, and he beckons.
He beckons still, and still diminishes.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:09:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-30 17:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-28 01:37:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
The big O strikes again. Fupa is in some halcyon days this week. Even Nitty's stuff is good.
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Genius review, really.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-29 22:20:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You fucking people can't read. It's obvious. It's transcendental.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-29 21:24:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-29 19:43:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm fat and ugly. You're gay. Captain Thorns is whiny and ugly. Ummm, yeah.
Ummmmm. I think I got it all covered there nicely.
Or I liked this a lot. Either way.
Just wanted to get the hate out there in case my reviewing this and getting it on MRR acted as a lightning rod for the trolls. If that happens accept this as a pre-event apology.
My only complaint is the one raised by CT in regards to the last bit feeling a bit disjointed from the rest of the piece. That wasn't significant enough to drop the rating at all.
Good work on this one.
_____________________________________________________________________
YEAH, CT, ya fuckin' bozo, the last line was as good as the rest... :-D
Submitted by carbon (user info) at 2006-03-29 20:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this very much.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-29 20:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent work. . .
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-03-29 19:43:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm fat and ugly. You're gay. Captain Thorns is whiny and ugly. Ummm, yeah.
Ummmmm. I think I got it all covered there nicely.
Or I liked this a lot. Either way.
Just wanted to get the hate out there in case my reviewing this and getting it on MRR acted as a lightning rod for the trolls. If that happens accept this as a pre-event apology.
My only complaint is the one raised by CT in regards to the last bit feeling a bit disjointed from the rest of the piece. That wasn't significant enough to drop the rating at all.
Good work on this one.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-29 18:04:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was good. i'm not going to analyze it though, i've already done that enough today.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:11:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-28 01:24:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
The very first stanza hooked me completely. Awesome all over.
================================================
Yup, my thoughts exactly
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-28 17:07:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Right. I forgot about letting Quato out of my stomach and having us take turns stroking each other.
Quato's why this piece is so disjointed. Blame Quatto.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-28 17:03:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-28 15:44:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll admit, it's a little disjointed. I wrote it during the evening amidst some distractions - eating, phone calls and the like.
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Don't forget about the mutual masturbation.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-28 15:44:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:25:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
+1.5. I'm having trouble seeing how the last stanza fits with the rest of the poem.
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I'll admit, it's a little disjointed. I wrote it during the evening amidst some distractions - eating, phone calls and the like. I think with that last part I wanted to hammer home the relationship with death and rebirth, while emphasizing the sitting and waiting inherent to his condition. Now that I look at it again, I drop 'he sits' a bit too much.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-03-28 12:27:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
some of your best work i think
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-28 11:57:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This should have a wider audience.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:44:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
On the other hand, http://www.ubersite.com/m/85878
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:37:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad, but mine had Oompa Loompas
You can't touch this...mymymymy music hits me so hard
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:25:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
And to complete the 1.5
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-28 08:25:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1.5. I'm having trouble seeing how the last stanza fits with the rest of the poem.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-28 07:55:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This was shite and thats got nothing to do with the fact that it's a poem.
Submitted by midwesternknight (user info) at 2006-03-28 02:38:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful, hmm the voice I heard behind it was different than what I normally hear from the o-man tho
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-28 01:37:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The big O strikes again. Fupa is in some halcyon days this week. Even Nitty's stuff is good.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-28 01:24:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The very first stanza hooked me completely. Awesome all over.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-03-28 01:12:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not rating before is nagging at me now...
+1 for being the O-Man, and +1 for my nagging guilt.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-28 00:55:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fish or man, the fisherman cares not
For it's the drawing that's the game,
A knot tied tight upon the barb,
An invitation shouted from the riverbank,
A ripple, a meal of many courses,
The procession of the grail, an arc
Of twisting water, a bob, a bow,
The long throw, the short pour,
The panic, the courtesy;
Man and fish predictable in their every
Behavior, the expectations of the years
Fated to play out with a consistency
Unmatched by even the most steadfast tolling
Bell: one too foolish to die, unflinching,
In silence, the other too concerned with
Himself to break the silence with a word.
===================
I know it's long, but I refuse to break it up. The flow here is some of your best, and I can tell the story means something to you.
This is exquisite.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-03-28 00:13:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I can't honestly give a + or - score here...I know jack shit about poetry. But every time I see FUPA written on the main page, I think, just for a second, that it's a post about a woman with a fat upper pussy area. You know those fat bitches, everyone had a teacher that had one in 8th grade. She always would wear tight pants that emphasized the bulge, and you would think she's pregnant...but she never had the kid. SHE NEVER HAD THE KID!
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2006-03-27 23:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're into the Fisher King I can't recommend highly enough the Tim Powers novel "The Drawing of the Dark."
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2006-03-27 23:06:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 Real Poetry in FUPA. From what will surely be a bandwagon of -2s from the Nitty/Shlongy/Sphagnum gay pride parade.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-27 22:56:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice.
plus i have thing for the kingfisher.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-03-27 22:39:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 for something approaching a Wasteland Reference... but it was good anyway.