Things I've Left In Other People's Posts: Vol. 3 - The Name Drops (1092 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: tiliopp
Rating: 0.83 on 57 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-03-28 17:54:04 EST
I know, I know...phoning it in and such.
Deal, or bite my bag.
Sometimes a review isn't just a review.
Sometimes it's inspired by, directed at, or written for a user.
Good or bad, gay or no, here they are.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-10 17:36:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
A Dramatic Monologue Tribute to Shlongy -
That's my last Shlongy shackled to the wall,
Looking as if he were alive. I call
That man a wonder, now: leath'r worn hands
Wormed tight 'round my meatus - now dead he stands.
Will't please you to stroke while looking at him? I say
He is a bottom by design, quite built for gay
Love from strangers like you, his short-built from birth,
The depth and pliant stretching of his earnest road of dirt
Only to myself reveal'd (as none dips his wick
In that, his company ink, besides I - Sir Dick).
It seems that they would ask me, if they dared
How such a tiny man came shackled, gaggéd, there,
You are not the first to ask thus, Sir - 'twas not
The first touch of truckstop men on his balloon knot
That turned his fancy so: perhaps the Duke of Blort
who rules his fancy kingdom from his Caulain-covered court,
Would be better served to say: "He fishooks with the best
of them, but nevermind his bucking, for 'tis the rest
Of his beauties I adore - I die in his throat nightly,
Though courtesy permits I make him swallow rightly
And clean up well my spots of joy. He had a trick -
How shall I say? - a gaff 'pon which his body, slick,
Would spin upon the marble floor while midgets played violas,
I'd look on, and my gaze would catch bare feet and areolas.
My, my eye of one! My mushroom at his lips,
The dropping of my teabag past his curses, past his quips.
My bough would break inside him, my cherries thusly binged,
I'd split my apple deep in him and listen while he'd sing."
The Duke could say, but I could say better
For having my last Shlongy made my gardens all the wetter,
I would watch him skip 'round the garden greens - all and each
Smile, wry and knowing, to men who tried to spar with speech -
And see him blush, at least. He'd thank the men, but thanked
Somehow - I know not how - but figure that he'd let them shank
His backwards-turning winking eye while making me a cuckold.
To think I gave him my last name, ere nine hundred years old.
Could he so eas'ly cast aside my trust and faith at will?
Could I so quickly find myself a victim to his skill?
I am not a man capable. I cannot just say, "Just this
Or that in you disgusts me; here, you soul kiss,
And here, have barebacked this man" -- and yet he let
Himself be lessoned so, let his ankles shackles set,
In fact, when cuffs clamped tight his wrists, he laughed,
But gagged as I made him give me a tonguebath.
He chose to stoop. Oh, sir, he smiled, no doubt,
When cum-streaked tears I painted o'er posed pout.
Much the same dead smile? This grew: I gave commands;
I watched him service blacksmiths while he did me with his hands.
Now, as if alive, his smile stands forever. Ready? We'll meet
The company below, then. I repeat -
This Lord has sired many sons, athletic
Of which I one admire for aesthetics,
Mine, but for the taking, he'll allow
And I will name him Shlongy, as I've vowed.
As we leave, Sir, please pay you mind
To the statue of Perseus on Pegasus' hind,
To anally tame such an animal is to know God,
Let Bronzino cast my dead Shlongy in bronze.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-07 10:59:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll tell a tale of humblefool, a man with balls of brass,
He'd have died a glacial death if not for his ice axe,
If you've got a beef with him, you'd best just step aside
And if you grope his son's fine ass, then ma'am, you just might die.
He's not afraid to choke a bitch, or beat a good man down,
But teenage girls with Tae Kwon Do skills make him wear a frown:
You see, he got himself concussed badmouthing Hello Kitty
Although his brain was long sinced mushed from clients, dumb and shitty,
He collects his life experiences and posts them on the net,
Read "Balls Must Be Grounded..." if you dare, but don't forget
That just because your jimmy's long and tan, and quite elastic,
It doesn't mean your johnson can lift 60 pounds of plastic.
So now, zakalwe, get you to this humble fool's submissions
Before I pass the clap to you with seminal transmissions.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-11 11:55:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Once upon a time there lived a humble cookie lass,
Who produced cookies warm and fresh from out her cookie ass,
The Keebler elves attacked her, for they just could not compete
With colon-flavored cookies that turned out so soft and sweet,
A horde of tiny elven folk around the lass they charged
But quickly found the lass's feet were too heavy and large
She squished them underneath her toes, their blood her soles they soaked,
"Take that you little Keebler fucks," she said, and popped a Coke.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-13 23:03:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is not a funny piece
Not ha-ha-ha in the least
Guess what is.
You want to know?
Circe's got some hairy toes.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-13 22:25:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
If you find this list too short
Don't blame me or Caulaincort,
Just curse Bart, who's out breastfeeding
Country goats to stop their bleating.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-11-08 10:47:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Save the Xcuses for someone who cares,
One with high-thighed love and see-through she-robe;
Before my heart, on business, takes to air,
She's certain to caress my meaty lobe.
O Inbox, show not your fatted folders,
Spare your arrows, Voicemail - show me quarter,
Time, fill not my day with pencil holders,
Boner-friendly thoughts make hours grow shorter.
L-bombs drop like nukes o'er Nagasaki,
Come, dear, let's enjoy the radiation -
My ladel dips into your vat of sake,
Your rice wine sex, it sure beats masturbation.
These candles burn and ebb as time does pass,
But, fuck, they sure do singe my naked ass.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-09 16:53:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
As Hebrew love brings forth the need for peons,
And uncircumcised wiles draw back the foreskin of space and time,
I come, gentle Gentile,
Unleavened, flat, but lusty in eyes and lusty in limbs.
Will you splatter me in lambsblood before the coming of the Angel?
Keep me safe, peon,
Pee on me if needs be,
For I can be into that sort of thing if the price is right,
Or, better yet, if you simply come a-blushing.
Come Lewis, come, Clark,
Free the eagle and the lark
And trace their shadows, fast-run along the plains -
Trace until they take to skies holding watch over professional mountains, two,
Twin sisters of bounty, of areola majesty,
Of measured fleshpound and bullet-cold nipple,
Watch, Lewis, as they stretch from C to mighty C, and perhaps more
(Clark has money on D, and Clark is rarely wrong).
Booba Longae - war boobs of old,
Breasts that kept Romulus and Remus fed at the teat,
Bust of Pallas, bouldersling of Aphrodite,
None can perform a feat of trickery and leave no trace of prestige
As yours:
For none can hold a longneck while their mistress bends to drink,
A parlor trick of savage taint that causes men to throb and think.
You are Alex Rodriguez's quarter-bouncing ass in the crosshairs of Derek Jeter's horny eye,
And the unfettered locks of Rapunzel cast earthwards towards the prince,
You are the unexpected, pleasant taste of hot dogs long after a heavy lunch at Frank'n'Stein
And you are the touch of evil on the sheen of a seraphim's sword.
Drink up, drink up, and celebrate - a birthday here, again,
Your female condom keep you, dear...you don't know where they've been.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-09 17:18:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't fret, RyuFu: Happy birthday!
Hadoken,
Hadoken,
Hadoken,
Hadoken,
Hadoken,
Hadoken,
Hadoken,
Hadoken,
Hadoken.
Down, Forward, Button push,
Lather, rinse, repeat
If I keep pulling off this move
Then I'm the man to beat.
Shoryuken,
Hadoken,
Hadoken,
Hadoken,
SHORYUKEN.
The general aesthetic of my gameplay flirts precariously with the avant garde,
As I pepperjack my moves and rout the life from out this tard,
This noob beside me, playing for the crowd and for his friends,
Trying hard to beat me,
With Vega.
Please.
I totally tatsumakisenpukyaku'ed that bitch back to Madrid years ago,
And sent him packing with his mask and his glove
Just like I did Michael Jackson,
But that's another story.
Want another dragon punch, Puffy?
Here, taste my pain,
Better now to throw your quarters down the running drain.
My RyuFu will beat you, every time, it aims to please,
Flaming fists and bare, whipped feet, forced up your waiting steeze,
If fighting moves were bars of gold, I'd have more wealth than Gates
My RyuFu will make you poo - I'll punch you in the waist
And send your 'testins all a-packin'
And make you sterile quickly with hadokens to your sackin',
The rangers cry when buffalo pass on - they're gonna die, son,
But damnit all if I won't rest till I've killed off M. Bison.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2005-12-21 17:27:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
Do yourself a favor, Casey Barnes, and kindly die
Spare us all your prattling ways and stab out both your eyes
Contract some infection from a lady of the street
Choke yourself with poorly chewed-up squares of uncooked meat
Pick a building, take the lift and leap from off the roof
Lay your body down, get trampled by a horse's hooves
Pay a man to kick you in the balls until you perish
Have a fat chick sit on you with ass so wide and hairish
Suck down vials of acid, listen while your insides melt
Skin yourself and sell your hide to Frenchmen as a pelt
See that stapler? Take it, bash the brains from out your head
Force a dildo up your ass until you wind up dead
Have a pony rape you till it kills you with its weight
Place a bag around your head while jerking, suffocate
Draw a bath and hop right in, and then push in a dryer
Get a running start and charge headlong into barbwire
Eat the ghey menz salsa and wind up with full-blown AIDS
Slit your wrists and split your tongue with rusty razor blades
These and more I offer you, but one you need to choose
Tapioca's not my thing, but these are: -2s.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-07 01:11:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
If you want to get to her ribcage you've got to go through her heart. Or punch through her back and around her spine. The
heart's not as messy, though.
Observe:
Liscious, I brought us both here to request
The pleasure and honor of fucking your breasts,
I know we've gone steady for under a month
But I think it's high time that we do this just once,
You don't have to touch it with lips or your tongue,
I won't try to slip it in cooch or in bung,
I brought my own lube - you won't e'en have to spit,
But I won't protest if you diddle your clit
While I grib your bags firmly and squish them around
My throbbing eight inches of mighty hangdown,
I'll thrust and I'll pump and I'll squirt all my juice
Oh God it's been waiting for weeks to come loose!
And then, when I'm finished, the angels will sing,
I'll know then exactly why you wear my ring.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-18 17:19:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty watched the oven as the timer counted down
Grinning like a wildcat, just like a circus clown
As the timer dinged he put the mitten on his hand
Scooped the pot pie from the tray and flipped it out the pan
"Now, my dear, it's time I show you just what lovin's 'bout,"
Then he dropped his trousers and he whipped his dangle out
"Chicky chicky pot pie, you're the one for which I yearn!"
Deep he plunged his hangdown, then he screamed "Oh Crips, it burns!"
Kiddies, here's a lesson from your Uncle 'Gasmatron:
Wait a while before you rape a pot pie with your dong,
Don't you be like Berty, for his shonce is scarred and torched
Give the pie five minutes for to cool, and then it's yours.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-15 14:10:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Tigerlilly is an enviable task
It takes a man determined, one with balls of solid brass,
Lesser dudes have tried and failed and found their earthly graves,
Greater men succeeded - of her lovin' they do rave.
Fucking Tigerlilly sure is something to behold:
Her pubic hair is made of silk, her tits are solid gold,
Her nails leave trails of mercury upon her lover's back,
Her lips they are of diamond ice, they cool her lovers' sacks.
Her archéd back, appealing,
Her nipples tight as screws,
Her she-box, it is nourishing
Like manna was for Jews.
Fucking Tigerlilly is the height of earthly bliss,
She'll suck the soul right out of you from where you pass your piss,
Her love will bore deep into you, like amniocentisis,
I know your mind will bend and blow when you see her prosthesis
Set in motion, put in action, used in ways you never dreamed,
At first you'll be quite hesitant when your manly ass is reamed
By foot of falsehood, leg of lies, but then with pleasured glee
You'll work that plastic deep inside right up to its fake knee.
Fucking Tigerlilly's done me well, I'm here to tell,
Never has another fucked me, loved me quite as well,
Always be a gentleman when taking her to bed
It'll get you everywhere...'cause damn, she gives great head.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-27 09:11:38 (#)
Ranking: 0
Tiger, Tiger, soaped up right
In the middle of the night
Let your scrubbin' nubbins free
Open your stall door for me
In the shower we'll recline
Lathered love, oh what a time
Slick suggestion, slipp'ry slope
In your irish spring I'll poke
My lever, but soap could mean trouble
If I fart I'll blow a bubble
Dialed peener, Doved behind
Rut away the dirt and grime
Shower sex is fun, you'll see
Captain Soapy, purr for me
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-20 13:45:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
He hollared "My name, it is Tim"
As he filled the cow's butt to the brim
He made sure that it knew
Who he was as it mooed
Then he wiped his dick off on its rim
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-20 11:36:16 (#)
Ranking: 1
There once was a slut named ineen
Who could never say no to a peen
She loved sex unprotected
Till once she inspected
And found her puss bumpy and green
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-20 11:01:18 (#)
Ranking: 1
There once was a dude, Captain Thorns
Who was careless while stroking to porn
In his zipper it stuck
And he hollared "Oh fuck!"
Now his dick's torn to shreds and malformed
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-19 17:55:51 (#)
Ranking: -2
I met this stupid cunt today, her name was Jessica
She spouted off some tripe 'bout chicks and dudes, ha ha ha ha
"OMG~! like tOATally, the menzz bow down to ChiCKzzzz!"
I dropped my pleated Dockers and I slapped her with my dick
The first slap made a whopping sound, a meaty little SPLAT
It sounded like the noise you'd hear if you curb-stomped a cat
The second whack shut both her eyes - my meatus kissed her brow
She started crying as I freed my nuts from my dropped trow
Teabag, teabag, teabag was the song her twin lips sang
As on her forehead slowly I wrote letters with my wang
Etched in pre-cum, "O-MAN RULES" sat 'bove her teary eyes
I marveled at my cursive then I shot between her thighs
"Lick the floor for daddy" said I to this little whore
Laughed and watched her clean my load from off the hardwood floor
For whatever reason, she drew my hate more than most
Jessica, you vapid bitch, I hate this stupid post.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-02-25 22:14:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
Look for hidden meanings far and wide...for you'll find them
I spy cameltoe, I spy gilded lillies
Come see the cleft between the slabs of marble
Kiss it with the lips God gave you for singing
My mornings start off right with a hearty helping of "Cunteggs"
You want some to go with that Dick Bacon? No?
Alone at night she sits and weeps
Sits and sweeps
Slits and seeps
By my beard, Olaf, there be giants in my beard
E'er since that night I lip-lapped Brunwelda
And now I itch and itch the giants
No respite, no satisfaction I receive
Oh noes, I think I have crabs in my facial hair
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-06 12:53:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Electrotoothsyndrome wept tears in the night
He sobbed and he bawled and hoped he'd be all right
For Ax disrespected and shamed him that day
A second banana to Shlongy the Gay,
Weep, ETS, but your tears quickly dry
For this latest outburst makes Babe Jebus cry.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-07 10:59:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Axol sat upon his throne and chronicled the Uber
While QueenAshlee sucked his nuts and he did Tiger's pooper
Standing by him Fist and Licious offered him their teats
Both his hands a-writing, Axol thought "this sure is neat."
One by one the womenz came and offered up their gifts
Each one knelt before him, faced away and rocked their hips
"Write your words upon our backs and make of us your tables"
Ax, so young, was full of spunk, and thus was more than able.
He filled them each with soul and spirit as his history
Unfolded on the parchment as their asses bounced with glee,
Thus he serviced all of them, and fucked each one in turn,
Emptying his nuts and mind so Uberites would learn.
Satisfied, reclining, Axol looked upon the mess:
His room a sea of ink and paper, tangled legs and breasts,
If you think that history is stupid, you're a fool,
Look what it got Axol...well done sir, here's a +2.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-16 12:11:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Average "Pig Balls" Dan returned to pomp and celebration,
Months removed from Uber, Dan sought skills in masturbation,
He climbed the highest mountain and found gurus sitting there,
Each instructed him to stroke with brilliance, force and flair:
"Pluck it like a lotus from the Ganges" said a man
Pulling out his wrinkled penis to show Average Dan,
"See it" said another "as a crystal waterfall"
Taking off his robe to fondle agéd cock and balls,
"Know it as a tiger" said the third "and be its stripes"
Moving knotted fingers up and down with all his might,
Dan watched as the men stood shuffling, old pricks all a-swashing,
Until on his face their essences were shot, a-washing,
O'er his bald head spilled their knowledge, carried in their seed,
Sharing jerk-off wisdom for to satisfy his need,
Down the mountai Average Dan climbed, bald head shining still
"I will be the best at bishop boxing, yes I will!"
Watch out, world, for once the summer 'lympics come again
Average Dan will take the gold in Masturbating: Men.
---
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-27 00:12:58 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-01-26 14:59:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Me! Pick me! I want a poem too!! Could you write one about my birdie because he's sick and is having liver problems?
Hush Bad Ass Julie, don't say a word
O-Man's gonna heal up your sick-ass bird
If that sick-ass bird drops dead
O-Man's gonna buy you some short'nin bread
If that short'nin bread grows mold
O-Man's gonna buy you a ring of gold
If that ring of gold don't fit
O-Man's gonna pay for your piercéd clit
If that pierced clit swells up bad
O-Man's gonna buy you a maxi pad
If that maxi pad bleeds through
O-Man's gonna buy you a bike for two
If that bike for two don't speed
O-Man's gonna buy you a bag of weed
Once that bag of weed's smoked through
Then you'll forget your sick-ass bird's dead, too.
---
Call:
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2006-03-09 17:58:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Roses are red,
Emos are blue,
I'm glad that I'm not
As stupid as you.
The End.
Answer:
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-09 18:39:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your posturing's tired
Your wit is dried up
Peace out, thanks for playing
Now shut the fuck up.
Fin.
Woo.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-20 02:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-04-10 12:49:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how could i not +2 since i was mentioned? ah yes, i feel loved.
"if i fart i'll blow a bubble." - laughed so hard i snarfed banana.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-10 12:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Make a name for yourself, or I'll make one for you.
Submitted by EntityErased (user info) at 2006-04-06 04:20:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was hilariously entertaining.
You are grotesquely talented, my friend.
I'd suggest you do a poem about me, but nobody knows who I am.
Maybe one day, I'll be subject matter.
One day...
*dreams*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-04 17:52:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In related news...since I had to pull up the file that I keep all this "things I've left in other people's posts" stuff in, I copied and pasted it all into Word.
The document is 80 pages long.
Plenty more volumes of this to come.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-04 17:48:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have problems. Clearly.
Geez.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-04 17:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow...I'd completely forgotten about that one.
I'm adding it to my records.
I thankya.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-04-04 17:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-01-05 15:07:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
It's Fuckin' Thursday, bitches!
So let's get that fuckin' done!
Everybody strip and bare your
Titties, dicks and bungs!
Keep the KY handy 'cause
We're bound to chaff and burn,
Water-sol'ble lubricants work
More than spit and sperm.
Come, let's start the groping!
Take those socks off, girls, let's go,
I want to thrust my mule inside
While sucking on your toes.
Kiss the dangles, bite the bags,
Let ladies feel your digits.
Poke me in my naughty hole!
Let's bring out the midgets!
Don't forget the horse and goat
They need some lovin' too,
Keep your strength and loads up, men
There's plenty here to do.
The lady of the hour will be
Our Bukkake Queen,
We'll coat her thick with baby sauce,
The most you've ever seen.
Rut and rut and rut all night
Until you're satisfied
Go ahead, indulge yourself,
Enjoy the fleshy ride.
Maybe flirt with things you'd
Likely never do at home,
No one's gonna judge you here
Your choices are your own.
It's ok, bi-curious
Is not a cross to bear,
Let me slip my one-eye'd god
Up in your derriere,
Sink yourself balls-deep into
A willing wanton chick,
And pump your mortal seed in her
While rocking on my dick.
Then we'll switch positions
And I'll get my fill of cooze,
Slamming hangdown in and out
While from her drips your ooze,
Have a midget pinch my tits,
I yearn for hands so little
To finish off my worked-up crank
And pluck my vintage fiddle.
Soon tomorrow's dawn will come,
The fucking session past,
Damned if Thursdays ain't the best
It's Thursday, now, at last!
===================================
I've always liked this one.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-04-04 17:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OH NOES, this doesn't mention Apollo anywhere.
WHY is this on MRR???
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-04-04 17:32:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-30 02:53:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Remind me to chastise you for mentioned George Michael lyrics aloud. They are a secret shame.
REDSKIES- REMEMBER TO CHASTISE ME.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-30 01:55:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-03-29 22:34:29 (#)
Ranking: -1
you people all rate my posts bad and this isn't even a story?
-----------------
Nor was this a question.
===========
Stag, you're becoming one of my favorite reviewers.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-04-04 17:08:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-30 02:53:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-29 22:35:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-03-29 22:34:29 (#)
Ranking: -1
you people all rate my posts bad and this isn't even a story?
===========
Dont wake me up. Just go-go.
---
Remind me to chastise you for mentioned George Michael lyrics aloud. They are a secret shame.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-30 01:55:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-03-29 22:34:29 (#)
Ranking: -1
you people all rate my posts bad and this isn't even a story?
-----------------
Nor was this a question.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-29 22:35:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-03-29 22:34:29 (#)
Ranking: -1
you people all rate my posts bad and this isn't even a story?
===========
Dont wake me up. Just go-go.
Submitted by georgemichael (user info) at 2006-03-29 22:34:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
you people all rate my posts bad and this isn't even a story?
Submitted by hooch4 (user info) at 2006-03-29 22:27:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Naitch
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-29 11:08:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This place is all about self-serving exuberance, VE.
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-03-29 08:47:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
-2 leaving me out
+3 The Nature Boy
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-29 08:46:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw, don't be sore about that.
You can barely see the scars anymore.
Button fly jeans, CT. Button. Fly.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-03-29 08:38:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I smiled. But I have to dock you a point for making me get my dick stuck in my zipper, you know.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-29 06:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-03-29 02:49:15 (#)
Ranking: -1
Exuberance is beauty
-William Blake
Self-serving exuberance is sad.
-VE
________________________________________
"A witty saying proves nothing."
-Voltaire-
Submitted by VelvetElvis (user info) at 2006-03-29 02:49:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Exuberance is beauty
-William Blake
Self-serving exuberance is sad.
-VE
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-29 02:39:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think these are good.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-03-29 02:29:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-29 00:04:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it just me, or are the users most opposed to this post who bitch about "taking uber back" the ones who have the least impressive uber history? Who has a history of over 100 posts and an average rating higher than most? Orgasmatron. When your contributions amount to shitposts and arbitrary flaming, your opinion means nothing. Just so you know.
===
Then allow me to weigh in here.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-03-29 01:55:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-28 23:01:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
The BadassJulie one was the best.
----------
I agree.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-29 01:08:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-03-29 01:02:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the fuck are you asshole?
This post sucked just like your mom sucking my cock off every night.
Enjoy.
---------------------
Burn. Put me in my place. Go listen to some more psuedo-hardcore Metallica, asshat.
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-03-29 01:02:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-28 23:56:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-03-28 23:44:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:18:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Weren't you supposed to help take Uber back? Maybe tomorrow, eh?
----------------------------
You missed part of the -2 train, dumbass.
=========================================
Who the fuck are you asshole?
This post sucked just like your mom sucking my cock off every night.
Enjoy.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-29 01:00:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-29 00:04:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it just me, or are the users most opposed to this post who bitch about "taking uber back" the ones who have the least impressive uber history? Who has a history of over 100 posts and an average rating higher than most? Orgasmatron. When your contributions amount to shitposts and arbitrary flaming, your opinion means nothing. Just so you know.
---------------
It's not just you.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-29 00:04:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is it just me, or are the users most opposed to this post who bitch about "taking uber back" the ones who have the least impressive uber history? Who has a history of over 100 posts and an average rating higher than most? Orgasmatron. When your contributions amount to shitposts and arbitrary flaming, your opinion means nothing. Just so you know.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-28 23:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-03-28 23:44:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:18:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Weren't you supposed to help take Uber back? Maybe tomorrow, eh?
----------------------------
You missed part of the -2 train, dumbass.
Submitted by HawthorneHeights (user info) at 2006-03-28 23:44:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:18:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Weren't you supposed to help take Uber back? Maybe tomorrow, eh?
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-28 23:34:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://tinyurl.com/elr5h
S.P.A.R.T.A.C.U.S.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2006-03-28 23:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Everything you ever wanted to know about pen_name
User id: 13937
Registered on or around: 2004-11-18 18:22:22
# Messages posted: 123
# Reviews written: 4990
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 2405
# Hits: 100000
Average rating of all messages: 1.30
_________________
I AM SPARTACUS!
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-28 23:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Also, you forgot this gem:
-------------------------------
Years ago O found Ms. Stagger
In a bar by the Blackfriars tube
He charmed her with wit and with swagger
Bought her pints as he stared at her boobs
As the hours passed she grew enamo(u)red
While they drank at their table for two
But her bladder inside her then clamored
So she pardoned herself to the loo
On her way she winked to a young waiter
Who then left his post, fast on her heels,
In the stall her lust proved the force greater
And the walls heard his moans and her squeals
She took O-Man home around midnight
She was laid bare and spread just for him
When he slid deep inside her he saw white
Forced from out the small lips of her quim
"Woman!" he shouted, "you two-timing toad!
"I knew my nose caught redskies' stink!
He got here before me, I feel his load,
That won't stop me, though, I'm at the brink."
O-Man unloaded and left straight away
Never 'gain to approach her or call,
His seed, second-planted, no foothold could lay
On her egg or her vaginal walls
It's likely, dear Stagger, you're redskies'
And no first-born and favored of mine
Tell your mother I miss her, I still cry
When I think of her bosoms, so fine.
Coda:
O would have called Miss Stag up
To bed her once while preggers
And crown her growing baby's head
With skeet tapped from his keggers
Alas, there was no 'nointing
For Miss Stag could not be found,
He heard she'd gone Australian
And moved to Sydney town
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-28 23:12:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Bringing Uber back" doesn't mean not having fun. I've been posting quite a bit of 'legitimate' material, thanks.
Is there no merit to any of these? No skill?
Perhaps you're not seeing them in context.
Or perhaps you're just being difficult assbeans that are looking to undermine the 'bring the uber back' movement - which, if I recall correctly, I agreed with in theory but never became a standard-bearer of - in these, the first few days of its life.
Or maybe you just need some Monistat.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-28 23:01:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The BadassJulie one was the best.
Submitted by jeveuxgagner (user info) at 2006-03-28 22:59:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:18:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Weren't you supposed to help take Uber back? Maybe tomorrow, eh?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-28 22:42:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Aw...I'll get to you two "left-outs" at some point.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-03-28 22:13:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-28 17:54:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not reading all that.
------------------------
hahaha
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-03-28 20:11:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your answers are crafty, your rhymes are superb,
But please do remember: This sentence no verb.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-03-28 20:00:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
what sphag said.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-03-28 19:02:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, I get a double-team plea and my body is offered in tribute to a jailbaiter, and yet- I still long for 'O-MAN RULES' to be etched in my forehead.
They're right; I guess I'm never satisfied.
I especially like the part where you offer to let Peon pee on you. Sigh. Such a romantic, you.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-28 19:01:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ya know, just part of our secret +2 pact
Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-03-28 19:00:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:19:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really needed to be reminded of that today.
Thanks
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:19:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 for BIRTHDAY LOVIN!!!
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:18:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-28 17:54:24 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not reading all that.
-----------------
hahahahahahahhaha
Bugger me, +2 for that alone
Submitted by OneCheapGeek (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:18:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Weren't you supposed to help take Uber back? Maybe tomorrow, eh?
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*sigh*
Will I never lose the handle, "Pig Balls"?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:13:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This +2 is to thank you for the new poem you are going to write about yours truly. I will even accede to shortening my LENGTHY AND EMO USERNAME to Redskies should it make it easier.
Submitted by Jacobt26 (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:10:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hippy
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:07:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The TigerLilly one was talented.
Submitted by EchoBoxing (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:05:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
nothing particularly interesting
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:03:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 and I'm not even a subject.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-28 18:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto -2 leaving Shlongy in.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-03-28 17:56:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Auto -2 for leaving me out.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-03-28 17:54:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm not reading all that.