Remembering is for the birds (494 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by sean fogy <seanfogy.at.msn.com> (View user info) at 2006-03-29 03:27:53 EST
Some lady died this week.
True story.
She was an old woman. A family friend. I only met her twice.
She was told on Sunday that her cancer of her whatever had spread to other parts of her body and she had three months to live. I guess the doctor made a gross miscalculation because she died only three days later.
My wife called me after she died. She was all crying and shit. She said, "Lorraine died last night."
I said, "Oh. Ok. Well, I put the corned beef in the crock pot. It should be done by the time you get off work."
I'd just assume striking her from my memory tonight because the way my mind works, I'll have forgotten her by Friday anyway.
She listed me in her obituary that she wrote the night after her death sentence was issued. She is apparently survived by her grandson, Sean, who couldn't even pick her out of a line of three old women. How fucked up is that?
The next time I am introduced to somebody I'm just going to punch them in the stomach. I don't give a fuck who it is. I'm going to hit them right in the fucking guts, so hard they're going to puke on my shoes.
I'd gladly trade a pair of shoes for not being remembered by a person on their death bed.
I'm not even going to her fucking funeral. What's the point? Funerals aren't for mourning. A funeral is a mix between a pissing contest and a family reunion.
What am I going to do? Stand in line to see her for the third and final time to what, wave bye? I've seen enough caskets to know that I'm not going to feel anything. I'm surely not going to need any consolation. I'm going to walk by knowing that she had it coming.
She had it coming the moment she stepped foot on this planet. Shit, it's a miracle she made it as far as she did. You could be walking across the street and get smashed and burned by a crashing plane full of people. What's the fucking difference? You might be remembered. That is, until the people that were doing the remembering are being remembered. Then what?
It's all a fucking sham anyway.
User Reviews
Submitted by fluff (user info) at 2006-07-26 17:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by carbon (user info) at 2006-03-29 14:06:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, it's one way to live.
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-29 09:51:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-29 05:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-03-29 03:52:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-03-29 03:52:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I take it back, have a 1
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-03-29 03:41:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You did this all wrong http://www.ubersite.com/m/61868