Gnorp Hand Resting - A sport not for the feint hearted or closed minded (1230 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.75 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Alex DeWitt (View user info) at 2006-03-29 06:36:07 EST
User Reviews
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-04-11 02:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GNORP
Submitted by xanderd (user info) at 2006-03-30 05:21:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-29 13:03:55 (#)
Ranking: -1
I guess you gotta be one of them there foreigners to get this.
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nope, just a sense of humour.
All aboard the Gnorp express.
Submitted by Smooth_Shoes (user info) at 2006-03-30 04:05:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hear Jeremy Beadle is taking up a secretarial course, to improve his short hand.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-03-30 02:03:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-03-30 01:09:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahah. Beadle bashing in game form. Brilliant.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-03-29 13:03:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I guess you gotta be one of them there foreigners to get this.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-03-29 12:24:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-03-29 10:05:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2006-03-29 10:02:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-03-29 09:02:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Scientists believe that playing sober might send you into some kind of reverse puberty, where the pubes fall out and your voice goes higher in pitch. It is believed this is due to the stunning level of immaturity involved in playing this game, magnified by the soberiety, resulting in a self realisation the body can't cope with."
AHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm not sure how a post about titty cricket would go down around Uber though. However, if you'd like to try it, I'll guarantee you at least one + 2.
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2006-03-29 08:49:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooo, a commitment to a game of titty cricket. i really haven't played in so many years.
Things to remember:
* the more crowded the bar, the easier it is to pick up singles and twos as you inadvertently brush past a female. this can lead to higher scores, but also makes it difficult to check if your opponent isn't just making up runs.
* make sure the definition of being busted is clear. whether you can be busted by a bystander, or whether it has to be the one with the titties.
* variations involve arse grabs and slaps. these versions aren't really titty cricket though.
* bouncers don't like titty cricketers. nor do boyfriends.
* keep well lubricated. god only knows what might happen if you played this game sober. Scientists believe that playing sober might send you into some kind of reverse puberty, where the pubes fall out and your voice goes higher in pitch. It is believed this is due to the stunning level of immaturity involved in playing this game, magnified by the soberiety, resulting in a self realisation the body can't cope with.
* manboobs don't count, ad really, if the game degeneates to this point it is better to call the game off due to light or rain than to let it continue.
Damn, i wonder if i should have made a titty cricket post?
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-03-29 08:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Titty cricket.....Fuck yeah, I know just the pub for that.
I feel a horribly immature post coming on. That is presuming I can still see out of both my eyes after I play this Saturday night.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-29 08:13:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's like my memories of that chinese game with the tiles all over again.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-03-29 08:05:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-03-29 07:05:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha, what the hell?!!?!
Submitted by xanderd (user info) at 2006-03-29 07:37:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no extra score is awarded, just the amazemnet and respect of your friends. The Gnorp can be hidden in a discreet area such as the persons back, or foot to avoid them noticing the hideous nature of the Gnorp. For safety reasons, if you realise you are resting on a True Gnorp® you must submit and leave the scene IMMEDIATELY.
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2006-03-29 07:28:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
other than the huge special edition sekret tekneek, or XXLT combo, is there any score awarded for the more mangled, deformed gnorp a player cna come up with? Or is scoreing done only during the resting phase?
I mean, i don't want to find myself with the most kickarse gnorp there is, but not scoring any points because the rest time is so short, due to the obvious and grotesque nature of the gnrop.
Submitted by xanderd (user info) at 2006-03-29 07:21:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2006-03-29 07:07:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was just thinking about this. Do players need to nominate their gnorp before the resting period? i mean, if they didn't, then one players gnorp could be far more outrageous, and therefore draw attention much more quickly than an opponents. I would think nominating your gnorp would allow the opposition to object, or alter their own gnorp to an even standard of deformity.
Is this a requirement, or have their been many gnorp resting related bar fights as a result of unfair gnorp formations?
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In the cuurent rules, no nomination is necessary, the outrageousness of the gnorp is determined by the player, according to the amount of challenge they want. If a huge special edition sekret tekneek, or XXLT combo is attempted, the other players must observe that this is carried out correctly to gain the 5 bonus points.
To date, we have noticed that the general British public are too timid to challenge a Gnorp, so 3 or more points are easily attainable by a beginner.
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2006-03-29 07:19:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was hoping someone would ask.
i hope you know the game of cricket, otherwise this could be confusing.
anywho
basically, you score runs by making cntact with girls boobies and not being caught. if you are busted, thats a wicket, as is having to take a piss. thats a wicket too.
a single is scored by bumping the girls funbag with your elbow. two runs are scored if you make contact with both elbows to the one boob in wuick succession, or if you hit both boobs with the one elbow.
Now, it gets tricky here, and my memory is fuzzy. (its a pub game for fucks sake!) you can score three runs by bumping a single bob with your hand, and four runs by touching the one boob with both hands, or both boobs with the one hand.
You hit a six by clearly squeezing the boob. Obviously, this is quite difficult. Close female friends and girlfriends boobs are not in play at any time, for obvious reasons.
ao you get 10 wickets, and you try to score as many runs as possible. simple game, horribly immature, but still a laugh.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-03-29 07:10:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2006-03-29 06:58:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is cool. I can just see a bunch of drunken yobs at the pub gnorp resting, with the score being kept carefully on the back of a coaster.
In fact, it reminds me of titty cricket. Ahhh, titty cricket. To be 18 again.
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Titty cricket? WTF?
Please explain!!
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2006-03-29 07:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was just thinking about this. Do players need to nominate their gnorp before the resting period? i mean, if they didn't, then one players gnorp could be far more outrageous, and therefore draw attention much more quickly than an opponents. I would think nominating your gnorp would allow the opposition to object, or alter their own gnorp to an even standard of deformity.
Is this a requirement, or have their been many gnorp resting related bar fights as a result of unfair gnorp formations?
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2006-03-29 07:05:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahaha, what the hell?!!?!
Submitted by Bushy (user info) at 2006-03-29 06:58:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is cool. I can just see a bunch of drunken yobs at the pub gnorp resting, with the score being kept carefully on the back of a coaster.
In fact, it reminds me of titty cricket. Ahhh, titty cricket. To be 18 again.
Submitted by ozzy (user info) at 2006-03-29 06:49:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not too bad, but not as good as yor anal leakage one.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-03-29 06:41:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahah brilliant.
You mean faint hearted though I think.